A/N: Work related smutlet, are Liv and El getting FIRED? (oh, no!), and a not-so-normal conversation with Captain Cragen

DISCLAIMER: SVU and its Characters belong to Dick Wolf. Storyline and dialogue, and narrative belong to TStabler©

Life with four kids and a virtual husband was taking its toll on Olivia. She'd never been happier, but she'd never been more exhausted, either. She was on her eighth cup of coffee, having to resort to drinking Munch's house-brewed sludge. With every sip, she made a face and choked a little.

"Hey," he said. "Don't drink it if you don't like it." Munch chuckled. He just didn't understand why no one else seemed to like coffee you could stand your spoon up in, when he adored the stuff.

"Well, Munch, there is only one other thing, besides caffeine, that gives me energy, and I highly doubt I can get that right now," Olivia said, running a hand through her hair while struggling to find a lost DD5. "So, your motor oil will just have to do."

Everyone chuckled, except for Elliot, who looked like he just won the fucking lottery. "Hey, Liv, uh, could you help me put these files in the evidence locker?" he asked.

"El, there's only, like, ten. You really need my help?" she asked, irritated.

Elliot looked at her with narrowed eyes. "I would really appreciate your assistance, yes."

Olivia shrugged, rolled her eyes, and huffed. "Jesus, Elliot. Fine," she griped, rising from her chair. "Men. I'll probably get stuck filing the damn things, you'll just sit there."

They walked down the hall and turned left into the evidence room, and when the door was shut behind them, Olivia was thrown, roughly, against the wall. "Woah, El, what the hell are you doing?"

"Uh, you." He latched onto her neck with his lips and pulled down her pants without even unzipping them. They weren't that stretchy, but he was being very insistent, so her pants were wise to just go along with him. "I know you know how to be quiet, baby, but this calls for fucking silent," he stated.

"El, this is nuts," she whispered as he unzipped and shimmied out of his own pants. "I wasn't even aware that you were..."

"I'm always in the mood when you're around, Liv. All I gotta do is look at you. We're both tired, we need this if we're gonna get through the rest of the day." He lifted her up and sat her on a low filing cabinet, hooked two fingers into the sides of her panties and slid them down her legs. "I think we're the only two people in the universe who can renew their energy by having sex," he laughed.

Olivia smirked. "At work, no less. Do you have any idea how..." She couldn't finish her sentence because he thrust into her, quickly and deeply. Elliot smirked when he saw her bite her lip, pressing them together tightly to keep from screaming. The smallest little moan escaped, and he leaned down and whispered softly into her ear, "Shhh." He started to move, then he figured he'd have a little fun with her, make her work extra hard. He shifted and hit that magic spot that always made her scream and growl and cry his name, and because she couldn't, she bit him, right in the neck, making him almost scream. "Oh, fuck. Liv, shit," he yelled in a throaty whisper. He thrust harder, careful not to move the filing cabinet, which would alert people outside to what they were doing.

"Oh, El, goddamn," she gasped, finally tearing her mouth off of his neck, licking and suckling around the nice bruise and teeth-marks she'd left behind.

"Liv, you have no idea, shit, baby," he panted. "How long I have wanted to do this. Just knowing, oh, fuck, Liv," he cried as he felt her clenching already. "Knowing that someone could hear us, walk in on us, or even just guess what we're doing. It makes it that much better." Elliot was doing his damndest to make this fantasy come true last as long as possible, and he knew that the rest of his squad would soon wonder where the hell they were.


"Okay, it does not take forty-five minutes to file ten DD5's. Where'd they go?" Munch asked.

Fin shrugged. "Maybe they went downstairs to get real coffee so Benson would stop choking on your molasses."

Cragen came out of his office, perplexed. "Where the hell are Benson and Stabler? Neither one of them is answering their cell."

"They went to file old reports. After that, who the hell knows?" Fin said, smugly.

"We're right here," Olivia said, passing out coffee. "Sorry, but I couldn't take another cup of that goop. We figured you guys couldn't either. The, uh, coffee shop had bad reception, Cap. Didn't see that I had nine missed calls from you until we got back up here." She wasn't about to tell them that Elliot ran like hell down to the shop while Olivia got dressed and that it only took him five minutes to do so, and the only reason they missed nine calls, each, is because their phones were in their pockets and their pants were on the floor while they fucked each other silly.

Munch looked at her, gratefully taking the coffee. "Wow, Benson. You weren't kidding. Real coffee makes you all glowy and happy. You kinda look drugged."

"Gee, thanks, Munch," she quipped.

"Caffeine is a drug," Cragen said. "Thanks for the java, by the way. You two, I was calling because the good people at One-P-P reviewed you records, and, uh, I need your shields."

Olivia choked on her coffee. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Benson, please. Just hand it over." Cragen held out his hand.

"I don't understand! We didn't do anything wrong! If this is about us..."

"Olivia, give me your damn badge and shut up," Cragen boomed. "You, too, Elliot."

Confused, scared and heartbroken, they both unclipped their badges and gave them to Cragen. He then walked into his office, heavy footed.

"Were we just fired?" Elliot asked, looking dejectedly at Olivia.

Olivia gulped. "I think so, yeah." She grabbed her jacket and tried to fight the tears. She had pulled it on and said, "But, he didn't ask for our guns."

Cragen came back out of his office. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he asked when he saw them preparing to leave.

"Cap, you just took our shields," Elliot began. "We assumed..."

"I took them so I could give you these. Congratulations, you're both Lead Detectives, notice the new shiny 'LD' engarved on the top?" Cragen asked with a smirk. He knew he probably just made them shit a few bricks, but that's what they get for thinking he couldn't hear them through the wall, no matter how quiet they were.

"Holy shit," Elliot gasped, picking up his new badge. "This is..."

"Unbelievable," Olivia finished.

Munch and Fin looked over at them and shook their heads. "Actually, it was kind of unavoidable. You two have a ninety-eight percent case-closure rate, and you can get the Pope to confess to a crime he didn't commit by using one of your tag-team tactics," Munch explained.

Olivia stared at Munch. "How the hell do you know what our case-closure rate is? I didn't even know that!"

"I'm competitive. I had to see how far Fin and I were behind you, so I checked. It's public record. You can Google it," he said with a smirk and a chuckle.

Elliot folded his arms. "And just how far behind are you guys?"

"You beat us by five points," Fin said with a shake of his head. "Cause' I get Scrawny Ass over here, and you get a woman who could probably take down Tyson." Fin looked up at Elliot. "That's why you go out on more chases and calls than we do. Munch'll probably break in half before we even get down the fuckin' block."

"Hey," Munch said, offended. "I'm great with paperwork and interrogations!"

The unit laughed, and Olivia took a deep breath, took off her coat and sat back down. Elliot walked over to Cragen "Hey, Cap, can I, uh, talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah, sure." Cragen led Elliot to his office and told him to have a seat, then leaned against his desk, folding his arms. He smirked, having an idea of what this would be about.

"Um, I'm a pretty traditional guy, so I feel that I need to ask permission for this, but Liv," he paused, taking a deep breath. "She doesn't have a traditional life, or any family to speak of, besides us, so, I'm going to ask you. Liv thinks of you as a father, you know that?"

Cragen's eyes widened. "What?"

"Yeah, she does. I do, too. My father wasn't a very nice guy. You've been more of a dad to me than he ever was. And I know you think of us as your kids, you've told us that, a lot. We do get grounded and you know you love us," he said with a smile. "She's kind of like your daughter. Right? Um, and also, I'm gonna ask, because I need to tell you anyway, to help us get around certain professional roadblocks, and.."

"Elliot, you're shaking and you're very pale. Are you okay?" Cragen stepped over to him and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm fine," he said with a slight crack in his voice. "I didn't think I'd be this nervous! Don," he said, surprising Cragen by using his first name. "With your permission, your blessing, uh, I'd like to...no, um, I would very much love to ask Liv to marry me."

Cragen was stunned, speechless and had tears in his eyes. He did the only thing he could do. He pulled Elliot up from his chair and gave him a tight, manly, hug. As father would give a son.

"Is this a yes?" Elliot asked, returning the hug.

"Yeah, son," Cragen said with a sniffle. "It's a big one." He pulled away from Elliot and wiped his eyes, trying to remain the rugged man-in-charge. "When are you planning on doing this?"

Elliot cleared his throat. "See, Cap, that's another thing. I know when, where and how, but I need your help." Elliot leaned against Cragen's desk, and it was the captain's turn to have a seat, as he told the man in front of him exactly how he planned to give the woman of his dreams a night she'd never forget.

A/N: Oh, yeah. It's gonna be amazing. Next chapter, but you need to review this one, first!