This chapter was so fucking long, I had to split it into two parts! Otherwise you guys would've had to read 12,000+ words altogether. This first part is somewhat filler, but it contains a lemon, lots of angst and a self harm scene. You've been warned!
Enjoy!
"Y-Yami? Wh-what are you d-doing down there?"
The sweet angelic voice invaded my ears, although somewhat muffled because I was under the sheets below him, sounded so feeble and afraid, I almost didn't want to do it, for fear of breaking that innocence. If it weren't for his consent, I would have never gone through with it. I just knew he wasn't used to the touch. I felt his fingers ruffle my bangs and the rest of my tri colored hair, gripping tighter as I slid lower down his body, being careful to kiss every single inch as I made my way down. I heard the faint whimpers of my angel, and I felt him tugging even tighter at my locks, perhaps startled at his sudden growth in his nether region, indicating that his body enjoyed the sensation of my lips to his supple skin. I grinned and introduced my tongue to his bellybutton, and kissed ever so gently, and his grip tighten even more and his breathing hitched. I felt one of his legs go around mine, as if he wanted more contact, more closeness with me. I flicked my tongue inside his belly button and made it swirl, and my baby hissed at this sensation, arching his back and letting a few chaste moans escape from his mouth.
"Y-Y-Yami," was all he could manage to utter. "I can't – "
I couldn't help but smile at his precious state of mind. "Can't what, my love?" I replied back smugly, as if I didn't already know. My teasing was beginning to be too much for him. Evidence of that provided by the increasing bulge in between his legs, swelling up as the seconds passed by. It looked so beautiful to watch, and made me proud that I was able to bring my aibou to that point But enough was enough.
I rested my chin gently on his stomach being careful not to cut off his supply of oxygen, and cupped both sides of his hips, grazing them ever so gently. This also meant that his member was right under my chest, and I anticipated the wanton whines in his voice because of the weight that bore down on it, but I never got to hear them. I sure did feel it though. The white sheets of the bed were over my head, but I can imagine the expressions on his face; longing, anxiousness, and maybe even lust. But who knew if Yugi was that naughty.
I could hear his breathing pick up the pace, as well as his throbbing member underneath me, and nothing could've made me more satisfied than at that moment. That familiar grip to my hair welcomed me again, but this time, it pushed my face down against his stomach. I could see that my love's patience was wearing thin.
"I c-c-can't t-take it anymore," he moaned, and I could hear the adorable frustration in his voice. My little one had never been impatient with me before, but then again, we'd never been in this position before either. It just began as an innocent kiss that originated in the kitchen, against the refrigerator and somehow ended on this here bed. I wasn't sure if he was up to par with what I was about to do to him, because I would be sure to leave him in absolute orgasmic bliss, but he insisted that I take him and that I take him now. He emphasized that by pushing me on the bed, getting on top of me, and making our lips one.
I had overpowered him of course, and flipped the script, seeing that this was his first time, and I knew that he wouldn't know how to move his hips in conjunction with mine, nor would he know how to thrust or hit any of my pleasure spots, because he didn't know where they were. I had more experience though.
My little one whined once again, squirming his hips in frustration, as if to make me put more pressure on his love spots. "Y-Yami, just! – " he squealed. It seemed as though he was too shy to say what he really wanted. I found it extremely cute.
I decided that that was enough teasing and slid my body up closely against his, and I immediately felt that bulge grow, even more when I came from under the sheets up to his level and we were eye to eye. Yugi looked at me, almost with desperation in his eyes, but also somewhat resentful for teasing him so much, when he was past ready for me to just put myself inside him. He grinded his now leaking cock against mine and I won't lie, it excited me to no end, it almost felt like a bolt of lightning; it tingled so badly; an uncontrolled moan ran through my lips before I could catch myself.
"Now you know how it feels," he said smirking at me so adorably, that I couldn't even be upset at his retaliation. I felt his legs wrap around my waist, a little too tightly that it made me grunt, but that also meant that his erection was also pushed harder against mine. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, and I knew that it was time. I lifted myself up a little by my arms and leaned on them and straightened them, trapping his head on either side, so I could get a better view of his face. My torso bared the most weight on him down below and the pressure made Yugi hiss and arch his head back and wrap his hands around the back of my neck.
"St-stop teasing me," he whimpered, shutting his eyes closed and hissing again. "Please…I'm gonna – "
"Come?" I said, finishing his sentence with a sly smirk. I saw a light pink blush spread across Yugi's face. So cute. I knew he wasn't used to talking dirty. I was going to change that.
I lifted my weight a little off him, and I saw his face grow sour; he didn't like the small space between our bodies. "No, no don't go," he pleaded, trying to push me back on top of him. His voice was filled with anguish and despair. It almost made me regret creating the space, if it meant not seeing that look on his precious face again. But I was going to make it up to him.
"Relax cutie," I said to reassure him. The comment made him blush even more. I grazed my finger down the middle of his chest to his tummy and it made him shiver. I felt it. It only made him angry with me, however. He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled my face down to his, allowing his breathe to invade my nose.
"Please Yami, just fuck me!" he growled, and I was taken back at his brutal honesty, and apparently so was he. Yugi began to blush again and turned his head away in shame. "I-I'm sorry," he whispered, closing his eyes as tears began to form. "I didn't mean…" his voice trailed off.
I couldn't do anything but smile at his selfishness. It made me happy that the little one wanted me and only me. I rewarded his request and buried my face in the crook of his neck, and he cried out a little, not expecting my haste, but I nipped at the crook, and Yugi opened his arms and wrapped them around my neck. "Come on," he said anxiously, twitching at the feels of my lips on his neck. "Yami, please! – " I could hear the hurt in his voice and he began to cry.
Okay, it was time to come in for the home stretch. I didn't mean to make Yugi cry, but now I could see that he could bear any more foreplay and neither could I. I just wanted him to be aroused enough so that he could be ready for me to come inside. I spread his legs wide open, and then licked three fingers.
"No, no…no," he panted heavily, and I could see the insanity in his eyes, as if he was about to explode. "Just put yourself inside me and go crazy!"
Though I could understand Yugi's rush, I certainly wasn't going to oblige to it. As much as I wanted to do that, it would bring nothing but excruciating pain to my little one, and mental scars that he would probably never be able to erase, and I'd never forgive myself if that happened. "Be patient, my Yugi – "
"No no! I've been patient long enough, do you see how swollen I am down there? You need to do something about it, Yami. Don't torture me like this, it's so mean!" he was beginning to sound irritated and annoyed but for some reason, I still found this cute and adorable. However, I felt overwhelming guilt for teasing him this badly. But I just wanted him to feel good. I guess it backfired.
I emitted a deep sigh before I spread his legs and his cheeks, as I sat up on my knees preparing to enter him. I looked up at Yugi and he looked very agitated and distressed, almost as if he needed this to happen. I didn't realize how far my teasing had went, nor did I know how it affected him.
I slid my member slowly inside him. I immediately felt warmth and slickness. God, it felt good. I felt tingly and it took everything in me not to ram the rest of myself in there, hard. But I wouldn't even dream of harming Yugi like that.
"Faster," he moaned as he tightened the grip on my shoulders. But I wasn't even in all the way yet. I pushed a little bit more of myself in and groaned at the thrilling sensation I felt. I closed my eyes and with one final thrust, I was all the way in. My erection seemed increased ten fold. I couldn't hold myself back anymore at that point.
"Yami, you're taking too much time, please! I'm begging you just – fuck me!" Yugi cried, my slow thrusts driving him crazy. He knew the pain he was about to endure, but he obviously didn't care. I did, however.
I slowly removed myself from inside him and right away, I heard Yugi whimpering. He hated having any kind of space or air between us, I found out, and he was beginning to sound like a deprived child, in need of love and affection. I didn't make him wait long. With one deep breath, I dove back in, much faster this time, and immediately I felt Yugi's cavern tense up. Dammit, why did I do that? I expected to hear bouts of cries of pain coming from Yugi pretty soon.
But to my amazement, I didn't. Instead, I heard such a deep throated moan escape from Yugi's mouth, as the threw his head back and said, "Faster, Yami, faster!"
His cute noises were such an inspiration to me. I couldn't resist holding back my energy anymore, and I slammed once again inside of Yugi, making him cry out and move his hips against mine to create more friction. "Harder!" he now panted, and I obeyed. I started striking his special spot faster and intense, more tenacious with each thrust making his voice rise higher and higher, not that he could help it, and he brought his arms to my back, pushing our chests together, and his legs around my waist once again.
I tried to open my eyes, but all I could see were spots clouding my vision. Yugi's thrusts were starting to be just as powerful as mine.
"Help…me," Yugi gasped into my ear, as I continued to fill him with back-to-back thrusts, never stopping my pace. I didn't know what he meant by that. But I kept on thrusting and slamming his prostate and each movement brought him closer and closer to that breaking point. My face was completely buried in his neck, and my labored breath taking refuge in his ear, the bed rocked under our rough movements.
Other than the occasional 'ahhs' and 'oohs' that came from Yugi, our session was pretty quiet. I was able to keep myself together, but then I noticed that Yugi's hips started to sway faster under me as if propositioning me to do the same because he was about to orgasm. I lost it after that.
I groaned and grunted in his ear, sometimes uncontrollably, as sweat began to build between our bodies and the room felt hot, and Yugi inevitably started to moan louder and louder, saying my name.
His voice was inflected somewhat, but he did still sound like Yugi, so I didn't think too much of it, because he felt so good and I wasn't going to stop anytime soon. Our rhythmic thrust against each other continued and the more it did, the higher his moaning got. It was at that point that something didn't seem right.
I knew it felt good to Yugi, but what was up with the voice change? Was I hitting all the right spots each time? It's probably nothing, I thought, as I continued to bring pleasure to my little one, determined to bring him to the brink of climax and beyond it.
"Ohhh, that's the spot…right there! Ahhh!"
Wait a minute. This doesn't sound like Yugi anymore. It sounded way more feminine! I brought my face up from his neck, hoping it was just my imagination, but to my dismay and horror, it wasn't.
"Why did you stop? Keep going Yami!"
"Mai!" I yelled from the top of my lungs. How in the hell did she and Yugi switch places? I could've sworn that it was Yugi that I was making love to, not Ms. Kujaku! What the hell kind of supernatural shit was this?
"Babe, you have to keep going, I was about to come," she moaned in my ear. Damn her seductive voice. But this wasn't right, I had to find out what hapepened to Yugi!
I tried to get up, but she just took my arms aggressively and switched positions, pinning me down to the bed. She shoved my dick inside her and she howled, and I couldn't help but feel her warmth and wetness, but why was this happening? Where was Yugi?
She started fucking me right away without saying another word, and I could feel my erection tightening badly inside her vagina and I couldn't stand it. It didn't feel right if it wasn't Yugi. But for some reason, my hips wouldn't stop moving in and out of her. It was like they were slamming against hers beyond my control.
Mai screamed in absolute satisfaction as the bed began to fill with her juices and she quickened her pace, feeling her release coming. I tried with all my might to stop this, but my arms and legs were no longer in my control, as if someone else was guiding me, and my stomach began to tighten.
Why was this happening to me? Why was I now having sex with Mai instead of Yugi? This has to be a dream. It was the only logical explanation. I wriggled my arms from underneath hers as I tried to stop her from slamming into me, because I would come soon if she didn't, but Mai was too strong. She tightened her grip on my wrists and thrusted into me as hard as she could and I felt her insides contracting and expanding.
"I'm gonna come!" she screamed, which was not music to my ears, because my stomach soon then expanded as well, and I climaxed soon after she did. I tried pulling out, but she forced my member inside of her and my seed gushed inside her completely, running down her inner thighs and legs.
Mai panted and stared me deeply in the eye, and I cowered under her, still not understanding what was going on. I felt immediate guilt and shame and thought that maybe it was Mai this whole time that was under me, and not Yugi. But how could I have missed it? Their looks were very distinct so I would've notice a change in face and hair and everything else. No. Something was very wrong here.
Mai noticed my awkward expression and gave me an equally steely look. "What's bugging you?" she demanded. "Don't tell me you didn't enjoy that."
Truth is, I did. The physical side of me did. But my head and heart was flipped to parts unknown. I was still very upset that it wasn't Yugi that I didn't bring to an orgasmic state, and I had to settle for Mai. I needed to get a way to push her off of me and go find Yugi.
But I didn't need to.
There was a very faint gasp at the doorway and we both turned and to my distress, there stood Yugi in a cute baby blue one piece pajama suit, holding a bucket of popcorn in one hand and a DVD in the other.
"What the – "
What was he doing standing there?! Wasn't he just under me, and I over him, giving him the most gratifying sexual experience of his life? How did he and Mai switch places? And why?!
Yugi just stood there staring at us, with sad, tormented eyes and it wasn't long before he began to cry. "How could you, Yami?" he sobbed. "I thought you loved me."
"Yugi! Wait! – " I cried, and tried to push Mai from above me with all of my might. This was not happening to me! I couldn't let Yugi get away. I had to grab him before he left the room. I can't lose him.
"No! You're staying here!" Mai insisted and tried to lean down for a kiss, but I mushed her face with my hand and sent her sprawling off the bed.
By the time she was off me, Yugi had left the room, so I scrambled to my feet after rolling off the bed and dashed towards the door. I didn't get very far though.
There at the entrance stood Yugi and Rebecca in a tight embrace that made my insides cringe. His face was buried in her chest staining her shirt with tears, as she shot me an awfully ugly scowl.
"Bastard…now you'll never hurt him again," she sneered as she reached for the door and slammed it in my face.
"YUGI!"
"Yugi….Yugi…."
Yami continued to repeat Yugi's name over and over again in his sleep, tossing and turning in his king sized bed, unknowingly masturbating and making a mess out of his sheets during the wet dream he was having. It was so erotic and sensual except during the end when Mai showed up, that Yami almost overslept, and he would've been in big trouble with Kaiba and everyone else that he was meeting for the big day this morning, including Mai.
Mai. How could Yami face her now, knowing the dream he just had about her? Yami shot his eyes open and lay flat on his back facing the ceiling of his room. He was naked from the waist up and his lower region was still throbbing and he had to get it under control before he left the house. He just needed to get himself together completely before the day's events, because he had to focus and have laser like senses, just in case Kaiba suddenly asked him to do something. Even though his boss told him that he would stay with him, anything could go haywire, so Yami had to mentally get ready for that.
He took one deep breath after another, and rolled onto his side, only to be greeted by a pair of deep chocolate eyes, smack dab in his face. Yami screeched in horror and jumped to the other side of the bed, falling off of it. As he hit the floor with a thud, a wave of pain swept through his head as he groaned with discomfort and attempted to massage the pain away.
"Ugh, Joey! How'd you get in my house?" he demanded wryly.
"Your brother let me in," Joey replied cheerfully. Yami knew why Joey was in such a good mood, and at five in the morning no less. But it didn't make his intrusion any less annoying.
"I'll have to kick Jaden's ass before I leave," Yami grimaced, still rubbing his head from the thump. He had forgotten that he let his younger brother sleep over the previous night. He hadn't been getting along with their father lately, and Jaden's mother was the indifferent one out of the family. But Yami never tried to interfere with any of their family tussles. It wasn't his business. But Jaden would swear that when he was older, he'd move out on his own, because he couldn't stand living at home anymore, and he'd told Yami that things just got worse when he left years ago. So Yami offered Jaden a place to stay whenever he got into it with their dad and Jaden's mom.
Yami sat on the ivory colored carpet floor with his back towards Joey and sighed. He didn't have time to fret over Jaden now, there were more dangerous issues at hand. Joey inched towards the head of the bed in Yami's direction and lay on his stomach. He knew Yami had a lot on his mind and wondered if he should probe or not. He figured it wouldn't hurt.
"You're worried, aren't cha?" he asked quietly. "About Yugi?"
"Does it show?" Yami replied with a sigh. "Everyone is just so sure about everything, I wish I could be too. And Kaiba never even told us what this plan C was. Did he tell you?"
"Nehh," Joey said with a passive shrug. "Doesn't really make a difference to me what it is. As long as it works and keeps us out of prison."
"But how can Kaiba guarantee something like that? I mean sure, he has a lot of pull in this town, but he can't get everything he wants, right?" Yami said with a hint of worry in his voice.
"This is Seto Kaiba we're talking about, Yami. Don't underestimate him. Or me for that matter," Joey smirked. "But hey, maybe I can get the information out of his the old fashioned way."
Yami's face scrunched up in a disgusted scowl. "Not that again," he griped, covering his face with his hand. He didn't even want to imagine Joey and Kaiba in bed together.
Joey roared in laughter and pulled Yami's fingers apart to expose his eyes. "Now don't act like you've never thought about getting in Yugi's pants. You've known him long enough, I'm sure it's crossed your mind." He gave Yami a wink that made his face flush in a deep crimson red.
"That's absurd!" Yami exclaimed, pulling his hand back from Joey. "I would never think of sweet little Yugi that way. He's pure." He darted his eyes towards the floor to avoid Joey's incredulous expression.
"Pfft, sure, whatever," Joey scoffed, removing himself from Yami's bed. "Now get up and get ready, we got shit to do today. He threw a pillow at Yami before Yami could retaliate and ran out of the bedroom.
Shit to do indeed. Yami supposed that he could start with a shower first. That usually helps him clear his mind before work or before some other stressful event. And this one took the cake. It would've been a miracle if Yami came out of this with his sanity intact, much less Yugi and everyone else.
As he stared at himself in the mirror, he couldn't help but see Yugi in his reflection. His spiky multicolored hair and golden yellow bangs reminded him too much of the younger. Sure, Yami's shoulders were more broad and husky from vigorous physical activity, and he was a little taller than Yugi, but other than that, and a few other discrepancies, he was practically Yugi's twin. Yami had to look away from the mirror because of that fact that it was getting almost too painful to even look at himself now. He was beginning to see nothing but Yugi in his image. He missed him so much.
But Yami couldn't deny his subtle feelings towards Mai. Though, it was probably just a physical attraction because he knew nothing about the woman. Maybe that was why Yami dreamt about her. Sure, he oogled her at Kaiba's house last night, but the woman showed off her best assets and naturally being a man, Yami was going to look. But he had to chastise himself, because she still was a human being and deserved to be treated as so. With that in mind, Yami decided that he was going to stay as professional as possible.
Yami exited the shower, got dressed and met Joey and Jaden downstairs for breakfast, even though he could barely eat anything with all that was on his mind, but Jaden wouldn't let him leave until he took a bite of something.
"Bro, you're too high strung these days," he said, tossing a blueberry muffin at him. "If you don't calm down, you won't be able to present with a clear mind today at work."
Yami dodged the muffin and paused, with his fork of eggs halfway to his mouth, while Joey looked down at his food and cleared his throat. Oh, that's right. Jaden didn't know about the big plan. And Yami wasn't about to tell him either. Being as jumpy and antsy Jaden he always was, he would probably be better off not knowing. Jaden couldn't keep a secret to save his life.
"Umm yeah," Yami replied, filling his mouth with eggs. "I'll be fine Jaden." And with that he continued to eat the rest of his fill in silence.
Seto Kaiba set three briefcases on his double king sized bed and ran a tired hand through his hair. He had to make sure everything was organized and prepared for the day's events. He kept checking in with his team, who was two hours away in Melrose Park keeping the mental facility that Yugi was being held in under surveillance. So far so good.
He had them set up small video cameras in the most discreet places, places that Kaiba didn't think the staff or the police would look to find. He had especially set one up right above Yugi's room, to keep an eye out for when Joey and Tristan infiltrated the place, and also the front door where Mai was to enter and distract everyone. Seto just hoped that she was as persuasive as she claimed.
He couldn't help but notice last night that both Joey and Yami had their eyes glued to Ms. Kujaku for most of their meeting and Kaiba felt a weird strain in his gut. Almost an uncomfortable cramp in his stomach when he thought of Joey's eyes on someone else. Was it jealousy? Kaiba wasn't sure. But he damn sure was not going to admit any type of jealousy or envy of someone else. Being at his stature, people should've been jealous of him! But Kaiba couldn't deny the unsettling feeling.
He admitted that Joey Wheeler could convince him to do lots of things with his dick. His sex was tantalizing and amazing for someone so young, but that's as far as Kaiba was willing to go. Sex didn't have to involve emotions. And Seto wasn't going to let it. So jealousy was out of the question.
He shook his head of the cobwebs and focused back on his three briefcases, before Mokuba walked in his room – without knocking which Seto hated – lugging some unusually heavy suitcases. Kaiba watched as his younger brother struggled to pull them in, and even began to drag them on the floor, as they were starting to hurt his arm.
"A little help here!" Mokuba spat as he grunted and groaned trying to bring the suitcases towards his brother. It was Seto's idea to pack all of this shit anyways, why wasn't he helping?
"Just keep it there for now," Kaiba replied, bringing a closed fist to his lips as he continued his process of deciding where to put his things in which briefcase.
"Oh," Mokuba added, handing his brother a thick folder. "I printed the reservations. But don't you think two months is a bit long?"
"Not in the situation we're about to be in," Seto replied deadpanned.
Mokuba shivered at his brother's seemingly impassive tone. "Aren't you scared at all Seto?" he walked closer to his big brother to get a better look of his face to find any sign of an emotion. Of course, there was none. There never was.
Seto looked down at his baby brother, who was obviously very apprehensive. But he placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder and gently squeezed. "Have you ever known me to be scared of anything or anyone?"
Mokuba curled his lips, then shook his head no.
"You know I always come prepared, Mokuba. Stop worrying. Everything will go according to plan. And if it doesn't…" Kaiba's voice trailed and he shook the light tan folder than his brother handed him for emphasis and placed it in one of the black briefcases. He then put a laptop in one, and a highly sensitive detonator in the last. Just in case he would have to go to extreme measures. But he'd hope he wouldn't.
Mokuba cringed at the detonator and offered his brother a concerned glance. "We're not getting away with that bro," he drawled anxiously.
"Well that's why I made those reservations, right?"
Mokuba shrugged. "I guess. I just hope everyone else is okay with it."
"With what, the bomb?"
"No!" Mokuba shrieked, making his brother draw back a little. "To your Plan C."
"They're gonna have to be if they wanna stay out of prison."
Mokuba couldn't do anything but look at his brother warily as he struggled to get mentally prepared for what was about to happen.
The two heard a faint knock at the door from downstairs. They didn't bother to get it because a maid or butler was probably in proximity, so they didn't waste energy. Seto continued to pack more knick-knacks into his suitcase with Mokuba's help when footsteps invaded their ears seconds later. Seto instinctively grabbed Mokuba and put his little brother behind him for protection before a slender figure peeked around the door.
"Mr. Kaiba? Good morning." It was only Mai.
"Oh," Kaiba breathed a sigh of relief. "Is everyone here?" his disposition changed when he saw Mai's face.
Mai lowered her gaze towards the clean ivory carpet and slowly shook her head. "No, sir. Mr. Sennen and Mr. Wheeler have yet to arrive."
Kaiba gritted his teeth. "You gotta be kidding me," he snarled, face palming. He then looked at Mai, almost apologetically and sighed. "Do you mind picking them up for me? That Circles of Care facility opens in three hours and I'm not gonna let those two screw it up for me. We only have an hour to prepare when we get there because it's a two hour drive."
Mai nodded in agreement and with no more words said, she returned back downstairs and out of the mansion to leave.
It was cold, blustery, and hollow. The room was completely white, and so were the bed, sheets, blanket, pillow – everything, including the walls. It was so bland.
Why did they have to keep it so cold in here? Yugi couldn't stop shivering, even under his blanket, and the uniform they gave him to wear was so paper-thin that he felt naked, even with it on. He lay in a fetal position on the bed, praying that would bring him comfort, but he wasn't very fortuitous in that manner.
He pretty much lay in bed all day, with only the pristine white walls to stare at, and a desk to sit and write letters or read, which couldn't really distract him from the freezing cold air, but it did help in some ways, especially when his mind wandered on Yami.
He was doing just that when Yugi decided to get up and write another letter to Yami. It was killing him that Yami was ignoring him and not writing him back, but Yugi tried to bargain within himself and think of reasons and excuses, because it could've been anything. He didn't want to believe that Yami was blatantly ignoring or neglecting his pleads for help. Why would he?
Joey had told him that Yami had to work extra hours at his job, for whatever reason, but what was Yami doing at home, Yugi wondered? Why wasn't he writing back? And why wasn't he taking his calls?
Maybe he met someone else?
Yugi winced and cringed at the thought. After all they've been through, no way could Yami given up on him and found someone else to love. He just couldn't…
He held himself around the waist and began to tremble. Somehow, it wasn't the cold air that was making him shake this time. It was the thought of losing Yami.
Yugi scooted his chair away from the desk, making it emit a loud creek from scraping against the floor. His legs began to tremble and his breathing hitched, not to mention his increasing heart rate. No. Yami wouldn't leave him for someone else. Yami loved him.
"He loves me," Yugi said with a shaky breath. "And I love him." He began to take in deep breaths as all of a sudden it became hard to breathe. Sweat trickled down his face, and his stomach cramped up, making him double over in pain. Trying to ignore it, he attempted to stand up to fend off the imminent panic attack, but all he felt was dizziness and faintness and Yugi stumbled onto the floor with a sickening thud.
He knew this feeling all too well. He felt it the night his grandfather passed away, and also when he took those drugs. Ever since then, the smallest things triggered Yugi off, and he was now starting to regret it, because it landed him in this desolate place, but it was too late to fight the feeling now.
He shut his eyes tight and opened them again, but all he saw was a blur. Panting, heaving, and humming that turned into feeble moans and desperate for the feeling to go away, he reached under his mattress in between the bed frame, and pulled out a razor. He, one day while visiting another patient, secretly took it behind their back when they weren't looking. Shameful, but true. Weapons of any kind weren't allowed for obvious reasons.
Yugi had familiar scars on his arms and legs already, but they were beginning to fade. He thought he was getting better, but the mere mental image of Yami with someone else and/or Yami not being in his life in general, sent Yugi over the edge once again.
"Just…one…cut," he gasped, as he lifted his sleeve, closed his eyes and let the sharp razor pierce through his forearm. Yugi moaned as he felt a prickling sharp pain enter his arm, but it brought such a sudden relief that he pressed the razor even deeper and bit down on his bottom lip to prevent himself from screaming. He didn't want anyone to come in here and catch him in the act.
The pain was throbbing, but it felt so good. The rush of blood and achiness was such a sudden high for Yugi and he threw his head back and cut another spot on his arm and let the process repeat. It couldn't be explained other than the feeling was orgasmic and it brought Yugi's anxiety down, way down, faltering under the distracting stinging cuts. He sat on the cold tile floor with his legs under him, head still thrown back with his eyes closed, breathing in air like he never had before, feeling nothing but peace as blood dripped down his arm like a river. That was exactly what Yugi needed at the moment. He was beginning to realize that since Yami was no longer there for him and didn't love him anymore, maybe this razor blade could replace that love.
"Yami….I need you…" he mewled, letting the desperation escape his throat, no longer able to keep his despondent emotions in anymore.
