Kelly was nervous. Why am I sweating, he thought. It's Dawson. We're friends. We know each other, have known each other for a long time. Calm down.
Kelly tried to settle his nerves by downing a quick beer. Shay watched him, completely amused.
"So, where you going?" she asked innocently.
"Out with a friend," Kelly answered evasively.
"I wonder what Dawson's gonna cook. Hey, bring me a plate, okay?"
"Why do you always ask me shit when you already know the answer?"
"Why do you always eat my yogurt when you know it pisses me off?" Shay countered with a smile.
"So what should I bring? Flowers? I was thinkin' that'd be too much. Maybe pick up dessert? I don't know."
Shay laughed at his nervousness. She thought about suggesting a corsage, but bit her tongue. So damn cute, she thought.
"Wine. Definitely wine," she offered.
"What kind? Doesn't it matter what she's cooking?"
Shay went with Kelly to the liquor store and helped him pick out the perfect bottle. She fixed his collar, kissed him on the forehead, and sent him on his way. So damn cute, she thought again. He even dressed up a little, button up shirt, no T shirt tonight.
He got to Dawson's and was second guessing the wine. What the hell does Shay know about wine? Shoulda stuck with flowers. What woman doesn't like flowers? He thought about leaving and getting a beautiful bouquet, but he knew he'd be late. No time. Stuck with the wine. He knocked twice and shifted nervously on his heels. He was messing with his collar when she opened the door.
"Shit." he said when he saw her.
Gabby stood before him in a tight, little black dress that showed off every curve. Her hair was down for once hanging in loose, messy waves. Makeup perfect. Yes, she'd put in a little effort tonight.
"Shit?" she questioned, lips parted in a small smile.
"I mean, you look beautiful," Kelly recovered, stepping into the apartment, kissing Dawson on the cheek. "This is for you," he said handing her the wine.
"It's perfect. It'll go great with what I've cooked," she said looking at the bottle.
Yes, Kelly thought. I knew the wine would be a hit.
They started with the wine, headed to the bedroom, and ended with the dinner. Nothing traditional about these two.
"Did you ever think about bein' a chef? I'm serious. Or opening a restaurant?" Kelly had worked up a hell of an appetite and the chicken Marsala was better than any restaurant's.
Dawson loved that he loved her food so much. He couldn't appreciate it the way Mill's discerning palate had, but Kelly enjoyed it in a way that was all little boy enthusiasm mixed with the wonder of someone who's most complicated dish was an omelet.
"I like saving lives. I've always known I've wanted to help people." Dawson answered simply.
The conversation never lagged. Kelly wasn't a talker, but Dawson had such an easy way with him, he couldn't help but reveal things only Shay knew. They talked about her family which led to talk about his mom. How close he was with her, how her death shook him. He couldn't believe all the things he told her, but it flowed so naturally.
They ended the date back in the bedroom with Kelly spending the night. Both were on shift the next day, but it was worth the early wake up.
At the station, they arrived separately, but everyone knew something was up. It was in the way Kelly greeted the two paramedics, Starbucks for both, kiss on the forehead for both. When did Dawson make it to the level of Shay, they wondered. It was in the way Gabby made sure Kelly ate and got up to serve him seconds. In the way she kept asking him how he felt, if he was tired. He'd poked her in the sides when passing her in the common area, causing a few eyebrows to raise.
All this was not unnoticed by Casey. Dawson made small talk with him, but there was the definite feel that something had shifted. He was no longer the favorite, and it wasn't a good feeling.
"Severide, you gotta minute?" he asked Kelly at squad's table.
"Sure. In your office?"
Kelly followed Matt back wondering why he was so serious.
"Hey, I was thinking about the CFD versus CPD fight night and I know we said we'd let Mills represent, but I'm rethinking that idea."
"Oh yeah? What gives?" asked Kelly.
"He's been here how long? It seems like he got a little too comfortable in all areas if you know what I mean. He also kinda took it for granted that he would be fighting. If you think he should, I'm for it. I know we're not getting any younger..." Casey trailed off knowing he got Kelly with the younger comment.
"Hell no! Either one of us can still take him. I say we do it like we used to, qualifying fights. Best man fights CPD."
"I knew you'd be in," said Matt smiling as he got up to leave.
"Hey, Casey. One more thing. Thanks for being so cool with the Dawson thing. I feel really bad about how it went down, didn't mean for anything to start up, wouldn't want anything to come between us," Kelly rambled not sure where he was going with this.
Matt just nodded his head, not making eye contact as he left the office. Didn't mean for it to start up? How does that exactly happen? Matt knew he would never do what Kelly did, dating, hell, sleeping with a friend's girl. Had Dawson even been his girl? Whatever. They had been dating. He just shook his head some more as he headed to the couch, plopping down, and burying his face in a newspaper.
"Hey, I wasn't done readin' that," said Mouch coming back from the restroom. Casey's stare told him otherwise. "But you go right ahead lieutenant," he added choosing to move to the dining table.
The qualifiers were held at Angelo's, gloves and helmets, one round only, and everyone was to go light. Boden would decide the winner, saying, "I'm not chief for nothin'." In years past, it was pretty obvious who would move on. Casey and Severide would trade off and give anyone else a shot at CPD who wanted it. Neither one lived for the fight, but both were always in excellent shape, had stamina, and could pack a punch.
Otis was the first one out, Kelly gaining a little confidence with each hit. He stunned him with a body shot and Boden called it. Casey took out Capp who was big but slow. Matt delivered a slight blow to the side of the head. Boden called it again and reminded everyone to keep it easy on the head shots. Casey was also feeling good. He hadn't participated in a few years; he'd forgotten how much of a release it could be to hit someone. He realized he should've taken Kelly up on his offers to box after Hallie's death. Would've helped.
Mills was up next.
"You go ahead," said Kelly still out of breath from the warm-up with Otis. He decided once Matt wiped the floor with the candidate, he'd bow out and let Casey move on. He knew there was no way he was in the kinda shape he needed to be in to beat CPD.
"C'mon Kelly! You got this," yelled Shay from some seats they'd set up on the side. Dawson wasn't so enthused. The three firefighters left were all men she'd dated, slept with, bringing her level of uneasiness to new levels. Why in the hell did I agree to come, she thought. She knew she was there still trying to get back the friendship she had with Shay. It was coming, but still not where they'd been.
Kelly shrugged his shoulders looking at Casey.
"You heard Shay. Go for it," said Matt wondering if Mills was going to beat Severide after all.
Kelly drank some water and entered the ring. Peter knew the lieutenant was sucking air, not up to full speed. He took it easy on him. He could see there was something going on between the two lieutenants, something he wanted no part of. He also remembered the way Severide came to his place, gave him the catalogs of courses, helped him train for squad, all when Pete was in a dark place. He'd never forget it, never be able to repay it.
The two sparred lightly, no one really landing a serious blow. Boden gave it to Kelly more out of respect than anything else. Good to see his two lieutenants wanting to participate again.
"We'll take an hour break, come back, and Casey and Severide will go to it," commanded Boden.
"Uh, chief, I think I'll let Casey take this one," said Kelly unlacing his gloves, just wanting a shower.
Everyone stood staring in stunned silence. Kelly Severide was giving it to Casey?
Kelly felt the shocked stares on him, making him more than uncomfortable as he continued getting his gloves off.
"You sure about that?" asked Boden.
"If you're not up to it, let's not push it," added Casey.
"Are you feeling okay?" asked Shay rushing over to her roommate feeling his torso, everyone's shock turning into concern. "Did you get hurt? I told you, you weren't up for this!"
"I am up for this!" Kelly said pulling away. "Jesus, we'll go eat lunch, then Casey and I will decide this thing. Everyone happy?" Squad's lieutenant showered quickly then they all took off to a nearby diner.
Casey was at a table with Otis, Mouch, and Hermann, but he kept glancing at Severide, making sure he was okay. The idea of a beat down was so much better than actually doing it. He wanted to make sure he could take it. Kelly headed to the restroom. Casey followed quickly.
"Severide, you sure you're up for this? We don't have to fight. I'll take on CPD."
"I'm good. Can I take a piss or what?" said Kelly getting grumpier by the minute.
From his mouth to God's ear, thought Matt. He's all good.
The fight was slow at the start. About halfway in, Kelly realized Matt was in it to win, in it for real, in it to maybe kick his ass.
"What the hell, Matt!" Kelly said after taking a hit to the head. He knew he better step it up to avoid total embarrassment. Casey delivered hit after hit with Boden calling it before the round was even over.
"Jesus, Casey! I said you could have it! What's your deal?" yelled Kelly getting right in Matt's face pushing him back a little.
"What's your deal? I didn't want it handed to me! I like to earn things, not just have them handed to me!"
All eyes were on the lieutenants, Boden was ready to step in. He hung back, at least for now, hoping they would work it out.
"What're we talkin' about here?" asked Kelly knowing for the first time what the deal truly was. I'm a stupid ass, he thought realizing this wasn't about boxing. It was about a hot little paramedic with brown eyes staring at the two in disbelief.
"Kelly, let's go home," called Shay, ignored by all.
"You know damn good and well what this is about. You were all over my ass for Heather Darden! And we didn't even do anything! What a hypocrite!" Casey was a little shocked with his words, not the type to air dirty laundry in front of the men, his men. He always kept it tight to the vest, feelings in check.
"Hypocrite? You're calling me a hypocrite?" Kelly was really yelling now right up in Casey's face. In his eyes, this was an entirely different situation. No similarities, he justified.
"You goin' deaf?" asked Casey with a smile. "Oh, and I'm still breathing! Darden's dead! If something were to happen, I think he'd be okay with it."
Kelly took a deep breath trying to get a little control. "Let's talk about this back at my place," said Kelly feeling that tinge of guilt. Casey's words hit home. He was betrayed by his friends. Kelly was in the wrong. Simple as that.
"There's nothing to talk about. It's done! We're done! Don't worry about it. That's the deal." Casey threw off his gloves and stormed out grabbing his gym bag.
Kelly stood In the middle of the ring, mouth open, not even noticing the stares falling on his guilty frame.
The next few days at the firehouse were quiet, everyone walking on eggshells. Kelly tried to talk to Matt, but Casey wasn't ready to hear it. He was pleasant enough to Dawson but froze Severide out at about twenty below.
Quiet did not equate to good. Quiet among the men and quiet with no runs.
"God, this house needs a run," moaned Hermann stating the obvious.
Engine 51…Truck 81… Ambulance 61… Squad 3
As if on cue, the alarm rang out for a warehouse fire.
They arrived on scene with the structure engulfed. The bigger problem was the adjacent buildings in danger of catching fire, flames dancing near these other buildings, hungry for more fuel.
"Let's work from the inside. Severide, you guys get in between these buildings and drown it out." Casey was running in with Cruz, Hermann, Mouch and Otis on his heels.
Kelly barked orders at his men angrily heading to the side, not enjoying taking orders from his friend. Former friend, he thought.
The guys were taking heavy smoke and flames inside the warehouse, not making much progress.
"We're gonna have to fight this one from the outside," ordered Boden. "Get out of there, Casey!"
"You hear Chief! Let's go!" yelled Matt bringing up the rear.
The guys poured out in a huge flume of smoke, leaning over, coughing. Dawson and Shay running over to check on them.
Severide passed by on his way to get a chain saw, had to cut through some fencing.
"Where's Casey?" questioned Kelly looking around.
"He was right behind us," sputtered Cruz getting up, a frantic look on his face.
"Shit!" yelled Kelly running back to the warehouse, nothing in hand.
Cruz followed with Boden yelling at the two. "Capp! Get over here. Grab a hose and follow your lieutenant! Go!"
Kelly pushed through the front and was met with immense heat. Cruz ran in, almost running him over.
"You lead. Retrace the way you came out," Kelly pushed him forward knowing they had a few minutes at best. No way in hell he was leaving Casey in there.
Thank God, Cruz is quick, thought Kelly. About thirty seconds in, they heard it - the PASS alarm signaling that Casey was in trouble, injured maybe dead.
Kelly pushed Cruz out of the way moving to the front, running single-mindedly toward that alarm. He saw Casey lying unconscious, immobile, with some debris on top of him. Kelly started throwing the boards off of his friend, heart beating out of his chest. Cruz bent down over his lieutenant.
"There's a pulse!" He got up helping Severide get the last of the ceiling off Casey. "His mask is cracked!" Cruz noticed, not liking what that meant.
"I got him! You lead the way!" yelled Kelly slinging Matt over his shoulder, face to the front, so he could share his mask.
He flung Casey's mask to the side, took two deep breaths, then placed his mask over Matt's face. He could feel his friend's body take in the air, relief sweeping over him. He held his breath for as long as possible before taking the mask back. Two quick breaths, back to Matt. All the while, he was slowly following Cruz, leading the way out. Didn't seem this damn long on the way in, he thought. Also wasn't carrying a 185 pound sack of potatoes.
Finally, they could see daylight, giving Severide the burst of energy he needed to get the hell out of there.
Dawson and Shay were ready, working together to help their friend. Shay scanned his body, cutting off his shirt, pants, treating some nasty cuts, getting bleeding under control. Dawson worked on his lungs, throwing Kelly's mask to the side and replacing it with their oxygen mask.
"O2 level's coming back," called out Gabby to let everyone know his breathing was better.
"Nothing broken. Shoulder is messed up, maybe dislocated. Bad cuts, might need stitches, nothing internal." Shay informed the circle of firefighters gathered around, completely silent except for the sound of Kelly coughing lightly. She passed him a mask quickly, never losing eye contact with Matt.
"Aaahh," Casey moaned, eyes trying to open. He cracked one and was met with the faces of the paramedics. He looked around trying to focus, seeing an ocean of eyes on him.
"What happened?" he asked rubbing his head with his left hand. He'd tried to use his right, but was met with a piercing pain coming from his shoulder. The last thing he remembered was bringing up the rear on the way out and then he was on the ground.
"We'll fill you in at the hospital," said Dawson helping Boden load up the lieutenant in the ambo.
"I'll see you at Lakeshore," Shay said to Kelly pointedly. What she really meant was, "I want you checked out" but she didn't say it figuring he had enough on his plate with Boden chewing his ass about taking off his mask.
"Are you the lieutenant of squad or some damn candidate?" yelled chief in Severide's face. "That was a rookie move!" he yelled getting that much closer.
Kelly took it for as long as he could. He wasn't really built for a reprimand.
"You done? Because I'd like to go check on Casey!" Kelly stormed off to squad's truck asking Capp what was taking him so long. He knew he'd pay for the insubordination, but didn't give a damn at the moment. His only thought was with Matt and making sure he was okay. He needed the chance to make things alright again, to right the wrong. Andy gone. He couldn't lose Casey.
Kelly was still sucking on oxygen as he bolted into Lakeshore. Shay and Dawson raced to him seeing what a mess he was.
"He's going to be fine," assured Shay leading Kelly by the arm to the nearby chairs.
"Smoke inhalation, scrapes, bruises. Dislocated shoulder, the worst of it," Dawson added knowing he would want specifics. "We'll get to see him in a little bit."
"If he'll see me," stated Severide head down, rubbing his own sore shoulder.
Dawson pushed his hand aside and began massaging it deeply trying to work out the obvious pain. She was still working on it when Boden and the rest of the men arrived.
Chief looked at the three questioningly, but kept his mouth shut seeing the fire in Gabby's eyes. That was a look usually reserved for Shay.
Leslie filled the men in on Casey's condition and you could feel the worry leave the room. A few minutes later, a doctor came in with an update. Everything was looking good, Matt was beaten up and going to be sore for a while, but he was going home tomorrow. They wanted to keep him overnight as a precaution.
"He's asking for Severide," she added. Kelly raised his arm. "I guess you're up first," she said signaling for him to follow.
"Great," Kelly muttered throwing the mask on his chair, pulling away from Dawson's hands.
"Take it," she said handing it back to him.
He ignored her following the doctor back to Casey's room. He entered slowly trying to get a good breath and struggling with what to say. Sorry. He'd already said it and it wasn't enough, sounded so empty. He took another big breath and walked in smiling.
"Hey, you look good," Kelly had that fake smile affixed to his face as he shuffled to Casey's side not sure what to do with his hands.
"You look like shit," half joked Matt knowing that it must've taken everything Severide had to carry him out of that building. Shay filled him in on the ride to the hospital about what had happened. How Kelly and Cruz rushed in, carried him out, Boden pissed.
"It was worth it," said Kelly, pulling a chair over to Casey's bed. "You in a lot of pain?" he asked looking at Matt from top to bottom.
"Ha! I feel good right now. They got me hooked up to this thing," Casey said lifting up the handheld pump for the morphine machine.
"You got enough to share?" Kelly joked rubbing his shoulder again.
"Kelly, seriously, thanks. You shoulda left my ass in there. After I beat your ass, thanks for going back." Casey was ready to hear Severide apologize now, grovel a little.
"Saint Casey, are you admitting that you wanted to take me down? Hold up, let me get the guys in here. And you didn't really beat my ass. I held my own."
"Held your own? I think you might be able to hold your own if we went at it tomorrow," laughed Matt, picturing Kelly floundering around against Mills.
"Okay, okay. You win. I got my ass handed to me, and you obviously enjoyed it."
"No, not the way I thought I would," admitted Casey.
"Ugh, Matt. What're we doin'? Let's quit bullshitting around. I don't wanna screw up anymore. I need you. Okay, I need you calling my bullshit. I need you talkin' to me, not pissed." Kelly didn't know how else to put it. "I am so sorry. For all of it. I am a hypocrite. You were right...100 percent and I'm sorry." Kelly was sucking in air feeling himself sinking lower and lower. He desperately needed Casey to forgive him. He thought he might fall right through the floor if Matt sent him on his merry way.
"We're good," said Casey softly. "I mean it. I'm done pouting. As much as this pains me, and let me tell you it hurts more than my shoulder...I need your sorry ass in my life too. I need to be able to call you on your bullshit. I kinda enjoy it. I do. I love you man," laughed Matt remembering when they'd first seen that movie.
That had been the catch phrase at the house for a month. They finished a run, "I love you man." Casey brought in donuts, he was met with, "I love you man." Boden finally threatened the next person who said the phrase with a one shift suspension. He was met with the whole crew saying, "We love you, Chief."
Kelly laughed, bringing on a little fit of coughs. He got up and gingerly gave Matt a hug avoiding the dislocated shoulder. He knew everyone was waiting outside the room wanting to see Casey for themselves.
"I love you man," Kelly mimicked his friend's words, meaning every single one despite the joking tone.
He turned to leave and felt the room swimming as he took a step forward. Been sitting too long, he thought just before everything went black and his face met the hard floor beneath his feet.
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