One of those things that comes up on a whim where you're like: I am writing this right. Now. Right. Now. I don't care if it's 11:00 pm and school is tomorrow and it's the end of Spring Break. I am writing this Right. Now.
Please enjoy. Please review. Please, please, please. Yes I am begging of you, because for no particular reason this story, this installment, touches close to my heart. I did not cry while writing, but God strike me with lightning if I cannot cry now.
This story goes from the time Nevaeh was first kidnapped (without Yumi), all the way through the Captive installments, to the time Reese fell from the factory roof.
Why do I have so much joy in writing through Nevaeh?
I need Brugger!
I need Brugger!!
I need Brugger!!!
Brugger this hurts! Brugger I'm hurting! Brugger I need you! Brugger, I can't breathe! Brugger, I'm scared! I'm scared! I can't stop crying Brugger! Where are you, Brugger, where are you please Brugger!
Somebody's out there Brugger, different than before! I know it isn't you, Brugger, but I want it to be you!
Brugger they've found me. They're reaching for me. I don't want them to find me. I don't want them to reach for me. I want you. I want you!
Brugger they've got me!
Brugger...Brugger they know my name!
Brugger they say they won't hurt me. They pull me into the light Brugger, and it's not like any light before—there is no sun here Brugger.
They look down at me Brugger, and I think I know. I think I know who they—who she is. Brugger, the one you True Love is with me. Brugger, did you send her? If you did then thank you. Even if you didn't want to thank you. I know you did it for me, because you love me too. Only not the True Love, because you can't love me like that.
She protects me Brugger. She protects me because of you, Brugger. She tries, Brugger, she tries so hard. She protects me Brugger. You know what that means Brugger.
It means she gets hurt instead of me.
Brugger I can hear her scream. I can't see why she screams, because I'm covering my eyes Brugger. It's all scary Brugger and I don't like it and I wish I could be strong like you Brugger, and I wish I could help her. But I am not strong so I cover my eyes Brugger and wait until the screaming stops. She gasps. She's hurting, Brugger. I think you know because I think she was talking to you. The Nightmare Man is talking to you too. And Brugger I think you know she's hurting.
I want to hear your voice, Brugger, but I am not brave. I feel that you want to hear me too, Brugger, and I feel that you are hurting to because she and I are hurting. I understand things Brugger, I understand things I don't know about.
She's stopped screaming Brugger. The Nightmare Man leaves and she stops screaming. The Nightmare Man is still here Brugger, I can hear him. I can hear her too.
Brugger, now she's crying.
Brugger, now she's weeping on the hard ground like it's the end of the world. She says a word I've heard Mrs. Periwinkle use towards you, but I don't know it Brugger. It sounds like Oolrick, Brugger. Is that your name Brugger? She calls you Reese, but I don't think that's your name Brugger. It doesn't fit you Brugger, it's just not your name.
The Nightmare Man leaves, Brugger. I'm strong enough now Brugger, I can go help her now Brugger, like you would want me to. I don't know if I'm doing it right, Brugger, but I try, Brugger, I really do try.
She holds me, Brugger. She holds me close. I clutch at her and I don't ever want to let go, Brugger, that's how it feels. I think you understand me Brugger, I think you know how this feels.
I sleep, Brugger. I sleep to the pounding of her heart, the heart you're in True Love with, Brugger. My sleep is not well, but it's better than the Nightmare Man's room, it's better than her sleep.
She's dreaming, Brugger, she's dreaming about you. I try to wake her up, Brugger, because her cries scare me. She thanks me, Brugger.
She thanks me.
I've done something right Brugger. I did something good. Are you proud of me Brugger? I want to hear your answer Brugger, but the Nightmare Man won't let me.
I hear your voice Brugger. It is not pure, but it is your voice and it frightens me Brugger. You are scared, Brugger, why are you scared? You say our name's with such desperation Brugger, are you ashamed of us? Ashamed of yourself?
Brugger I cover my eyes again, for she is screaming. This time you don't know, Brugger, you don't know she's hurting but you still care. I can feel that you still care. She can't feel it though, so she screams louder. Why can't she feel you like I do, Brugger? Does she not know you Love her? Does she not know she Loves you?
How do you not know, Brugger? How?
She cries, Brugger. She cries for me and Brugger the Nightmare Man is here Brugger and I'm scared, but she still cries to me. She tells me you love me Brugger, you love me very much. I don't know why you really do, Brugger, but I accept your love.
I feel your spirit in me, Brugger, and you are strong. I want to help her Brugger but I am scared. Yet you stay with me and tell me to be brave.
I am scared, Brugger.
So you tell me, Brugger, you tell me being brave is being scared but not showing it. I trust you Brugger, so I am brave. The Nightmare Man is here and I am scared but I pretend not to be, Brugger, I follow your guidance very well, Brugger do you see? She is at my knees now and she is crying as she stares at me.
Brugger I am scared.
But I do not show it, just for you Brugger.
She finds comfort in me, Brugger, but really she's finding comfort in you, because it was you who had me walk to her. Brugger can you see? I think she loves me, Brugger, but she doesn't know, Brugger, that when she loves me she is actually loving you too.
I feel her, Brugger. She is in my lap and I can feel her as I try to wipe her tears away Brugger. She needs someone, Brugger, she needs someone like you Brugger. I don't understand but I know why you wouldn't tell her earlier Brugger. You tried to protect her for as long as you could, Brugger, didn't you?
Brugger, oh Brugger, does this mean, Brugger that you were hurting too? Yes Brugger, yes you were, long before I knew you Brugger. I know you are still hurting, but not as much as before Brugger.
Did I make the hurt go away, Brugger? Did I help you, Brugger, when I didn't know you needed help? Brugger, I saw you happy with me, with your friends, with her.
Brugger I know; you are not happy now.
I am scared again Brugger, but I cannot pretend not to be this time. I can't be guided by you Brugger. I am confused, Brugger, and so I cannot feel you Brugger. You are far away and only she and the Nightmare Man are here. I don't know where we are Brugger, so I hide my face in her chest to feel her heart again, Brugger—the heart of your True Love.
I feel dark, Brugger. I am not okay. I don't want you come anymore, Brugger, I feel bad things that are going to happen, Brugger, but you come anyways and I can see you again.
I miss you, Brugger. Brugger, how I've needed you so. I want you to promise, Brugger, that you won't leave again, Brugger.
But Brugger, you do not—cannot—make your promise.
Brugger you're going to fall and she won't help you because she understands something I do not.
Brugger.
Brugger.
Please forgive me, Brugger.
For a moment, Brugger, you hold me again, Brugger, I can feel you. Brugger I can feel you breathe, you are warm, Brugger, you comfort me.
But Brugger I cannot feel your heartbeat.
You are crying in despair Brugger. I did not do good this time, I know, Brugger, from the way you cry.
You scream, Brugger, you scream you love me. I feel your love, Brugger, you did not harm me, no Brugger, you did not harm me when you saved me.
You disappear, Brugger. You suddenly are gone from sight, gone from hearing, gone from mind, and I can't feel you anymore.
I love you too, Brugger.
Please respond to this, I really want to hear what you think even if you are struck speechless or only have one thing to say. I must know what you felt while reading this.
