Title: Midnight Sun
Author: MSKBSwedish
Rating: Mature
Summery: Set after season 6 episode "Smashed" - After Buffy and Spike have sex in the abandoned building. Buffy thinks the reason she slept with Spike was because of something mystical. What if the slayer is right? There is a prophecy that she is destined to fulfill - with the help of the blond vampire. Set as M for heavy adult themes at times.
Note: I own nothing of the Buffyverse.
Chapter Eleven – Wild Horses
Pain was the first thing she felt. Pain through every bone, muscle and fiber of her being. The emotional pain was enough to make her want to forget the world. She wanted to desperately hold onto something, feeling her sanity slowly slip further and further from reality.
With red puffy eyes, she slowly opened them reluctantly. Holding them closed only made the pain in her head worse. She heard silence. Complete silence. Was it a dream? Had she dreamed the whole thing? Her body went rigid when her hands slowly traveled down to feel her deflated belly which was still swollen from the birth. It wasn't a dream. She was living the nightmare.
Her eyes welled with tears when she realized that it indeed wasn't a dream. All over again her world came crashing down. The shaking started inside at her core and worked it's way out. She could just barely remember the sight of her baby's figure. It came in flashes. First the tiny nose. The head of dirty blond hair. The small hand with the tiny fingers attached. One little foot with stubby little toes.
The idea that for a split second Buffy would be a mother in itself gave her more joy than she had ever felt before. Motherhood was something she had never experienced and it had been many years that she even thought about children. The thought of never experiencing that sort of happiness was soul crushing. It was like she had been teased by fate. This was the one thing she never knew she wanted and the moment she had it, it was gone.
Buffy rolled her face into her lover's pillow and sobbed. She parted her teeth which allowed her to bite down on the pillow and scream into it. Her lungs were in no shape to be used which caused her to cough violently. She rolled onto her back and covered her face with her arms. The sound of the sobs were the only thing she heard.
Until an odd cry came from the hallway. She jerked her head from her arms and her tear blind eyes were locked on the door. That cry. It wasn't her own. It wasn't familiar. It was... small.
Moments later the door opened. Spike. He carried something in his arms. Something that was a bit of a funny shape. Something that was causing those noises.
"I hope you plan to give that child back to his or her mother, Spike." Buffy growled at him as she slowly sat up. "What a cruel joke. I mean how could you just go and take someone's baby! That's a mother and a father that are going through what we are. How could yo-" Before Buffy couldn't finish her cries of disapproval when Spike cut in.
"Which is why I'm returning the child to her mother." Spike said before placing the child in Buffy's arms.
The moment her eyes landed on the infant, her breath was caught in her chest. She couldn't breath. She could speak. She couldn't move. A tear escaped from her left eye first, then two from her right, alternating a few times before they came in a steady stream down her already tear streaked and swollen face. Her baby. Her little miracle.
Spike sat down beside Buffy facing her and their daughter.
"How?" Buffy asked, looking up at Spike with a bewildered look among her face.
From the moment she laid eyes on the little girl in her arms she couldn't deny that it was her baby. She may have had the complexion of her father and his eyes but the rest of her features favored her mother's too much to deny this baby.
"I followed my instincts. I had no time to waste, love." Spike said softly. He placed a hand on Buffy's thigh and used his thumb to rub the soft skin in a circular motion.
"But the curse." Buffy tried to speak but still it wasn't coming out in whole sentences.
"I found the hag. I made her pay for what she had done. I brought our baby home." Spike's eyes locked onto Buffy's.
"That wasn't a dream, you promising to bring her home, was it?" Buffy sniffled.
Spike shook his head no and a small smile formed on his lips. "I did good." It felt weird to hear him admit that he had done something good and selfless. Not only did he break his family of the wretched curse but he saved his daughter too.
"Spike... I..." Buffy tried to find the words to say but she could hardly form a normal sentence.
"Shh." Spike moved closer until his face was inches from Buffy's. "Just enjoy this, pet. You wanted your baby. You've got her. Love her. Raise her. Enjoy her." Spike lifted his hand to cup Buffy's cheek. In turn she nuzzled his hand momentarily.
"I won't do it without you. I refuse." Buffy whispered into his hand.
"I didn't plan on you doing it alone, sweetheart." Spike leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Buffy's lips. After the kiss, he rested his forehead against hers as the two of them kept their eyes closed. "No more tears, Buffy. She's home." Spike whispered quietly while brushing her tears away with his thumb.
Early in the morning, Spike had woken to a fierce hunger. He immediately found himself in the kitchen. When Spike finally returned to Buffy's room, he stood in the doorway. The sight in front of him touched his soul. Buffy slept one her side, their daughter on her back. One of Buffy's hands rested on the child's stomach and the other tucked under her pillows.
It still amazed the vampire that he was now a father. He was going to get to experience the miracles of parenthood. Nothing in that moment made him happier.
When Spike became a vampire, it was a whole new world to him. It was exciting for a while until it became so routine. Of course parenthood was nothing but routine. The difference was now Spike actually had a reason for living. For surviving. Spike felt like one lucky bastard. He was lucky enough to have found Buffy, the love of his life who gave him the most precious gift; A child.
Slowly and quietly, Spike walked over to the bed. He bent down and softly kissed the infant on the forehead before doing the same to Buffy. He couldn't believe it. In his wildest dreams, he would never believe anything like this at all would ever be possible.
Buffy began to stir after a few minutes. Her eyes fluttered open. Her first instinct was to check her daughter who was sleeping peacefully beside her. Quickly she sensed someone else in the room. Buffy looked over to see Spike looking at a few of the onesies and outfits that the Scoobies had picked up that morning.
"Spike." Buffy whispered quietly.
Spike turned his head and put his mug down on the dresser. "You are supposed to be sleeping, pet." Spike chuckled softly.
Buffy shook her head. "I have slept enough." Buffy smiled.
Spike looked down at the baby beside her before gently sitting down on the bed. It caused the infant to flutter a little but she quickly settled back down.
"We have to think of a name you know." Spike said with a smile.
Buffy nodded. "God I don't know the first thing about naming babies." She sighed softly.
"Well Anya said they did get one of those baby naming books. Perhaps we can go through and decide." Spike suggested.
Buffy slowly sat up and shook her head. "I feel like that would make things harder." She admitted.
"Well then most people get inspiration from their families and influences. I myself was named after my grandfather on my father's side." Spike chuckled and looked down at his daughter. "William Louie Pratt."
Buffy smiled. "I was named after my grandmothers. Buffy for my mom's mom and Ann for my Dad's mom."
Spike looked up from looking at his daughter and smiled. "So your first name really is Buffy."
Buffy nodded and yawned a little. "My mommom's name was Elizabeth and everyone called her Buffy. My mother didn't like the name Elizabeth so she named me Buffy."
Spike smiled. "Well, what names do you like?" He asked the new mother in front of him.
Shrugging, Buffy ran a hand through her hair. "I like a lot of names. Of course if I wanted to name our daughter after someone that would be proven difficult." She said with a laugh.
"How come?" Spike asked curiously.
"Well, there are a lot of women in my life and I'm sure plenty of women you'd want to name her after." Buffy snickered.
"Point taken." Spike chuckled.
Buffy sighed and a name came to mind. "There is one name I've always loved. I'm not sure why but, I've always loved the name Malin. Linn for short. I like that it's short and sweet." Buffy explained.
Spike smiled. "Interesting. It's different. I like that." Spike looked down at his sleeping daughter. "What about you? Do you like that name? Do you want us to call you Linn, little bit." Spike chuckled as he ran a finger over his daughter's cheek. "What about Joyce for a middle name." Spike suddenly thought aloud. He looked up at Buffy and waited.
A warmth spread over Buffy's body. Her smile grew. "I love that." Buffy was touched that he would like to give their daughter her mother's name as a middle name. A thought came to Buffy's mind in return. "Malin Joyce Pratt." Buffy grinned even wider.
"You want to give her my last name?" Spike asked in shock.
"Last I checked that's kinda what you do. Unless you're a single parent and even then single mothers tend to give the father's last name to the child." Buffy explained.
"Are you saying we're not single?" Spike asked, raising a brow. Buffy reached over and slapped him on the arm. "Ow, Slayer! I'm joking. I'm joking." Spike put his hands up to block her from swatting him more.
"I told you and I meant it Spike. I wanted you to stay even after this baby was born. Whether we're able to raise it or not." Buffy leaned forward, her face inches from Spikes. "I want you by my side." She whispered while slipping a hand under his.
Spike pressed forward to kiss Buffy's lips softly. The kiss was short but it was sweet and full of love.
"And I wouldn't even think of leaving, love." Spike said once the kiss was broken and their eyes were locked on one another.
All night long. It seemed like the crying was never ending. Her little lungs had yet to give up. Three long, tiring hours. Still she continued to wail and whine uncontrollably.
Buffy and Spike took turns trying to soothe baby Linn as best as they could. Nothing seemed to work. Nothing seemed to calm the infant. She just cried and wailed. She would stop momentarily until suddenly she would just start right back up.
"It's no use. Something is wrong, Spike." Buffy was beginning to think she was losing her mind over this. The baby wouldn't stop crying. Even now as she paced her room and held her daughter. Nothing eased the girl's stress. She was starting to feel like it was her fault, that she was a bad mother. She was so unprepared and knew so little about raising a child let alone caring for an infant.
Spike, who was laying in bed with a pillow over his ears, peeked out from under the pillows. "I don't know what you want me to do, pet. I've tried. You've tried. We just need to let her cry. Babies cry a lot for no reason right?"
Rolling her eyes, Buffy walked over to the bed and sat down next to Spike still patting her daughter's back gently. "Please, Spike. I'm so tired." Buffy whined. She hadn't slept since the hour nap she took after lunch.
Spike sat up and sighed. "Alright. Give her here." Spike put his arms out for his daughter. Buffy just stared at him for a moment. "C'mon. I have an idea."
Buffy sighed. She reluctantly placed her daughter in Spike's arms.
In an instant Spike was standing with Linn in his arms. He grabbed the pink blanket that Willow had gotten for the baby after she came around and was feeling better. It had been a few weeks since then.
Laying Linn down gently on the blanket, Spike swaddled the baby just like Anya taught him to do. He picked his daughter back up into his arms before walking over to sit in the chair by the window. Spike opened the window and made sure the baby was facing the moon. He wondered if being apart of him, if somehow possibly his daughter found similar things comforting.
Spike sat back with Linn safely in his arms. He made sure she could see the moon from where she lay and he softly began to sing to her.
"Childhood living is easy to do. The things that you wanted, I bought them for you. Graceless lady, you know who I am. You know I can't let you slide through my hands." Almost immediately, Linn began to calm down in her father's arms as she made little noises with her mouth and whined a little.
"Wild horses couldn't drag me away. Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away." Buffy was speechless not only at Spike's singing voice but the fact that he was simply singing to their daughter. She vaguely remembered having a conversation with Spike about how much he loved the 'Stones'.
"I watched you suffer a dull, aching pain. And now you decided just to show me the same. No sweeping exit or offstage lines. Can make me feel bitter or treat you unkind." Spike looked down at his daughter who seemed to calm down completely now. He rocked slowly as he sung hoping to calm her more with the motion as well as his singing.
"Wild horses couldn't drag me away. Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away." Buffy watched in Awe at the two sitting in the corner. She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin on her knees as she watched the sight of Spike and Linn.
"I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie. I have my freedom but I don't have much time. Faith has been broken, tears must be cried. Let's do some living after we die." Spike's eyes were locked on his daughter's face. She seemed so content now, just looking up at her father, enamored with him completely.
"Wild horses couldn't drag me away. Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away." By this point, her eyes were fluttering shut as Linn was beginning to succumb to sleep. The baby let out a big yawn that caused a small shudder to run through her. She had been fighting sleep for so long that it was like she was giving up on that fight.
"Wild horses couldn't drag me away. Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away." Finally she was out. Spike looked up at Buffy and if he were alive, he surely would have blushed about three shades red just then. "What?" Spike asked with a small chuckle.
"Nothing." Buffy grinned and shook her head.
"Go ahead. Laugh it up, slayer. The 'Stones will never die." Spike joked across the room at Buffy.
"Hey, I didn't say anything." Buffy got up from the bed and walked over to Spike and Linn. She leaned forward and looked into Spike's eyes. "That was the sweetest thing I've ever watched you do." She placed her hand against his cool cheek. "Thank you."
Spike curiously looked into Buffy's eyes. "For what?"
"Proving me wrong." Buffy answered with a smile.
"Proving you wrong how?" He smirked. Spike did love proving people wrong that was for sure.
"Proving all of my greatest fears about you to be wrong and that you are just as much of a man as any living man." Her hand slowly ran up his face and through his hair. "No." She corrected herself and smiled. "Better than any living man could ever be."
Spike couldn't help but widen his smile before leaning forward to kiss Buffy's lips. "I love you, Buffy." Spike whispered through the kiss.
Buffy pulled away and looked into Spike's eyes. "I love you too, Spike."
Once they finally got Linn to sleep, Spike and Buffy put her down in her bassinet and the two of them fell asleep themselves.
It was like clockwork every morning however. Buffy had been sleeping for maybe three hours when the sounds of her daughter wailed through the bed room.
Spike put a hand on Buffy's shoulder. "Stay. I've got her." Spike kissed Buffy's forehead and got out of bed.
Buffy was grateful that she wasn't the only one waking up. She was grateful for the extra sleep thanks to Spike.
Spike quickly walked out of the bedroom with a fussy Linn in his arms. He walked down the stairs and into the kitchen to make a bottle for the baby.
"See look? You're already like your ol' chap." Spike said to Linn while he moved around the kitchen. "Mummy won't let you drink from the tap so we have to improvise with the synthetics. But hey, that's okay, right? What mummy says is the law."
Spike turned quickly when he heard a laugh behind him. He once again would have blushed if he had the ability to. Dawn was standing in the doorway to the kitchen watching Spike.
"Now that is cute." Dawn giggled. She walked further into the kitchen and opened up the fridge to grab the milk.
"Lets uhh... lets keep that between us girls, huh bit?" Spike quipped.
"I gotta say, I love this side of you, Spike! It's really whimsical and silly." Dawn beamed.
Spike shrugged before taking the bottle from the microwave. "I'm not used to it myself, bit." He chuckled.
"Well, when you don't think you'd ever get the chance to be a father, it really is a new funny feeling when you get to be one, huh?" Dawn asked. She stood with her back to the island and watching Spike while he placed Linn's bottle to her mouth.
"It's true. Fatherhood does things to your brain. Almost feels like I'm alive again. If I had a heart, this little sprog would have my heart racing in no time." Spike said as he leaned down to kiss his daughter's forehead.
"I'm glad you and Buffy worked things out. I'm glad she gets to see the side of you that I got to see while she was gone. Now Buffy truly has something to live for and it's not just me anymore." Dawn grinned. She loved the fact that Buffy and Spike worked things out so that Buffy wouldn't be so lonely. Dawn couldn't always be there for her sister but now their family had grown with the addition to baby Linn and Spike.
Spike smiled. "If I weren't holding the babe I'd give you a right good hug."
Dawn walked over and hugged Spike's arm. "Good enough for me." Dawn laughed before letting go of Spike and walking out of the kitchen.
Spike looked down at Linn who was sucking away at the nipple of the bottle. He was still in such awe of the baby. He couldn't believe he had a daughter and with the slayer of all people. He worried still. They would have to fight a lot of people for the rest of their lives. Vampires, demons and humans would probably want the baby if they knew about her. Spike would be there to protect her at every waking moment. He didn't care if she was 16 and he stalked his daughter. He would do whatever it took to protect her and her mother. They were his family and he would never let anything come between himself and his family. Nothing.
Author's note: I'm ending this one here. I know it's short but I have an idea for another story which will be the second installment to this story. Hope you all have enjoyed the first! I will be sure to put the second one up ASAP.
