Okay, so this time I'm updating my current project. :D I don' t have a lot to say here, but I'm going to make it a goal of mine to at least update both stories 4 times over this 2 week break (Preferably 2 per story). Even if it means I have to force myself too. XD I have no work to do over the break, so this shouldn't be a problem.
Nowaki watched Hiroki run, a dull pain starting to pool in the pit of his stomach that caused the rest of his body to follow suit. Never did he think he would actually feel so insanely jealous of that man that Hiroki was so enamored with, nor did he ever think he would ever have the desire to try to turn Hiroki away from that man as much as possible.
Before his mind could form a coherent thought, he was already chasing after Hiroki who was currently out of the exhibit and talking to Akihiko outside. Seeing the two of them together made that dull pain become much rougher as he watched Hiroki fumble over his words while Akihiko listened intently. He walked quickly over to Hiroki, grabbing him by the arm and looking up at Akihiko with a look that was akin to disdain.
"Nowaki what are you doing? Can't you see I'm in the middle of a conversation?" Hiroki said angrily, genuinely vexed that Nowaki would interrupt a conversation between him and his love.
"Excuse me, Akihiko-san. We are currently on a date, and so we don't have much time to play around today." Nowaki said with a plastic smile, watching Akihiko's expression change as he contemplated the things Hiroki just told him compared to what he sees. He glanced over at Hiroki, who merely stared at Nowaki with his mouth wide open, his eyebrows so high into his forehead they were basically overshadowed by his bangs.
"W-w-what?" Hiroki sputtered, looking at Akihiko to explain. "Wait, there's a reason for this." Hiroki began, hoping that he could re-explain.
Akihiko shook his head. "There's no need to, Hiroki. You don't have to be so embarrassed by it you know, its fine." He stated factually, looking down at his watch to check the time, and then looking to his right where his black haired guest was still standing and waiting for him. "If you'll excuse me, Hiroki, I really have to go. You two have fun." He spoke the last words with a bit of a cheer in his tone, walking away from the two.
Hiroki turned to see Akihiko meet up with Takahiro, giving him that smile of his he never even shows himself. His vision then went to Nowaki, anger and sadness in his eyes he watched Nowaki's expression change from that fake smile into a hateful stare. This only caused his blood to boil, now realizing what kind of game Nowaki was trying to play. He tore his arm away from Nowaki's hand, too angry for words.
"What's wrong, Hiro-san?" Nowaki asked curiously, looking down at Hiroki with confusion.
"What do you mean 'What's wrong', you know how I feel about Akihiko and then you had to go and say that! That's just looking for a misunderstanding!" Hiroki yelled, not caring who heard him.
Nowaki felt an anger start to overshadow the pain, now angry that Hiroki was actually yelling at him for trying to make him happy and to forget his one-sided love. "Why do you worry about him so much?" He practically whispered these words, starting to bow his head downwards as he tried to hide his hurt.
"Because, I love him." Hiroki spoke in a lower tone, now trying to counterpart Nowaki's own voice.
Nowaki didn't have time to re-think his choice of words, his hands balling into fists as he grit his teeth. "Then, why don't you just tell him?" He asked seriously, nearly hissing these words.
"Don't be stupid, you know that as well as I do." Hiroki answered, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked around, refusing to be met with the top of Nowaki's head. "If he ever rejected me, I don't know what I would do." He whispered.
"If you're so scared…then doesn't that mean you already know he doesn't love you?"
Hiroki's eyes widened at these words, looking at Nowaki who continued to stare at his feet. His eyebrows furrowed as his lower lip trembled, speechless once again. It was almost as though his arm moved on its own as his hand struck Nowaki's cheek harshly.
"Y-Y-You don't know anything!" Was all Hiroki could think to say, Nowaki's words now buzzing in his head as he felt the truth crashing down onto him. Not wanting to be in the situation for much longer, he turned on his heels and began to run out of the building.
Nowaki held his cheek, frowning as he knew how much his words hurt Hiroki.
Hiroki slammed the door behind him, looking around in the empty apartment as he felt the tears that had been trying to breach his eyes finally fall freely. He leaned against the door and sunk downwards, cursing himself through breaths about how weak he was. It had been a long time since he felt this way, and he knew it was all because of the person he had been with earlier today.
"Fucking idiot." He whispered to himself, wiping tears from his eyes as he sat down. As he looked around the room, he paused and stared off into space as his eyes met with the bookshelf across the room. Even from the doorway, the spine of the book was all too familiar.
'…I…I have to do something about this.' Hiroki thought, standing up as he sniffled and tried to dry his eyes. Reaching into his pocket he grabbed hold of his phone and took it out, dialing Akihiko's number into his phone.
The other end rang for what felt like hours, Hiroki's anticipation causing his heart rate to skyrocket as he waited. It continued to ring, then the voicemail picked up and the automated woman's voice began to speak. Hiroki calmed down slightly, feeling much better that he was now able to at least leave a message even if he knew the reason why Akihiko hadn't picked up was because of Takahiro,
"Hey, Akihiko. I need to talk to you, do you mind coming over later? Well, if you get this message, then just come over." He said, trying to sound as normal as possible to hide the fact that he had been crying moments ago. After leaving the message, he sighed and closed his eyes.
'Please come.'
Hiroki sat on the couch, flipping uninterestedly through a magazine that had been sitting on his coffee table while he waited. He had been hoping that Akihiko would come earlier, and the anxiety was killing him.
'Maybe he might not come at all…no, he's probably just busy. Or he didn't get the message.' Hiroki reassured himself, shaking his head at the thought that Akihiko decided not to come at all. He then decided to stand and walk around a bit, trying to figure out what he was going to say to the man when he arrived.
'I just need to ask him…' He thought, pacing the floor until he heard the chiming of the doorbell ring in his ears. He nearly ran for the door, grabbing hold of the knob and throwing it open as he was met with his love standing before him with the a neutral expression.
"Oh, hello." Hiroki spoke simply, gesturing for Akihiko to come in which he did slowly. Hiroki tried to put on a smile, attempting to mimic the same that Takahiro always had. He was able to muster a small curl of the ends of his lips as he faced Akihiko who continued to hold his stoic expression.
"I'm sorry; I just got your message earlier." Akihiko spoke, pain riddled in his tone. Hiroki could detect it, the small curl disappearing as he frowned upon hearing the man speak.
"Is there something wrong?" Hiroki spoke, sounding concerned.
"Yes actually…It's just that, Takahiro is getting so serious with Manami, I don't understand what it is about her that he likes so much." Akihiko spoke, pain and hatred pouring out with every word.
Hiroki couldn't help but feel ecstatic at the idea that Takahiro was even farther out of Akihiko's reach than before, the happiness almost apparent on his face before he realized how much he wanted to smile and began to stop himself as he spoke with feigned sadness. "I'm sorry, Akihiko. If he's getting so serious with her, then why don't you just give up on him?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest while he spoke.
"That's easier said than done, Hiroki." Akihiko spoke, annoyed that his friend wasn't helping him in the least but instead telling him to just give up so easily.
Hiroki felt the lump form in his throat as he tried to utter the next few words, licking his lips as though the feeling of non-chapped lips would help him to speak. "I know an easy way, to forget that is." He said softly, walking slowly towards Akihiko as he said this.
Akihiko heard him say this, his eyes widening as he turned around to face his childhood friend who was advancing. "How do you propose I do that?" he asked, almost desperate to quit this addiction of his before he was hurt.
Hiroki stood next to Akihiko, staring at him while Akihiko returned the gaze. His hands shakily went to Akihiko's, grabbing it softly while he leaned upwards towards the others lips.
"This." He whispered, his lips pressing onto Akihiko's while Akihiko continued to stare at him.
'He…What is this? I can't…I won't.' Akihiko thought, lightly cupping Hiroki's face before pulling him away slowly. "Hiroki…" He spoke, watching Hiroki's longing expression as well as his flushed cheeks.
Hiroki grabbed onto Akihiko, wrapping his arms around the man and burying his face into the man's chest. "Akihiko, I love you. I've loved you, for a very…very long time."
"I'm sorry, Hiroki." Akihiko continued, his hands going into Hiroki's hair as he stroked it softly. "I don't want to hurt you, not like this." He felt Hiroki jump against him, the grip his arms had around his body now loosening.
Hiroki weakened at hearing these words, the feeling of Akihiko's cold hands in his hair ghosted along his scalp as he began to sink to the ground. He didn't want to look up at Akihiko, knowing that the man was now looking at him with what could only be described as pity.
"Too kind, you're just too fucking kind!" Hiroki half yelled, half rasped, his hands going to his knees as he gripped his pants tightly. He didn't want to know that Nowaki was right, nor did he want to think about what Akihiko just said to him. He couldn't help but feel pure anger, anger at the world, as well as at himself.
Akihiko watched as his friend slowly fell to pieces in front of him, feeling terrible for doing such a thing to him though he knew that it wasn't something he could do. They were friends, always had been and always would be. Nothing would change that, and Akihiko didn't have any intentions of changing it.
"I'm sorry." He spoke one last time before walking around the man, closing the door behind him.
Hiroki bit into his lip, blood dripping down his chin as he tried to control the mixed emotions and the thoughts running through his head.
Hiroki was out walking, he didn't know where and he didn't really care why, he just knew he needed to be somewhere. The air was stuffy, indicating that it was to rain soon. The warm air around him did nothing to stop his heart from feeling like it just turned into a large block of ice, colder than even Akihiko's hands.
The streetlights illuminated the sidewalks below, Hiroki listening to the sound of his own footsteps and being oblivious to the others. Small cars would drive by periodically, Hiroki watched them with detachment. He walked over to one of the lights, leaning against the pole as he heard one drop of water hit the sidewalk, than another. The shower had begun.
'Oh great, now it's raining.' He thought, the voice in his head speaking in a nearly monotone voice as he looked around. Deciding that it was safe to cross the street, he took a step off of the curb and began to walk. A few cars would stop as he started to pass, not sure as to why he didn't use a crosswalk while others honked at him and quickly swerved around as to miss him. He didn't care at the moment; he just wanted to clear his mind. He was brought back to reality quickly as a familiar voice called out to him.
"Hiroki! Hiroki!" He turned around to see his black haired colleague waving at him, parked on the other side of the street and gesturing for him to get inside. When Hiroki passed him, he heard the sound of the car door open and footsteps following behind.
"Hiroki! What are you doing out here? It's raining, and you don't even have an umbrella. Man, you must be soaked." Miyagi began to ramble on, taking Hiroki's hand and continuing to talk without realizing the other wasn't listening in the least.
The two of them got into the car, Hiroki sitting silently in the passenger's seat while Miyagi sat in the driver's seat. The car was on, as well as the air conditioner to dry off with. Miyagi took a cigarette from his pocket, taking out a lighter to set it aflame before he heard a raspy voice speak.
"Please, don't." he said, leaning against the car door and wrapping his arms around his shoulders as he shook.
Miyagi could tell something was wrong, putting the cigarette and lighter away he reached over to grab the brunette, noting that there was no resistance whatsoever. "What's wrong?"
"Everything." Hiroki spoke simply, going quiet again as his head leaned into Miyagi's chest.
Miyagi decided not to ask anymore than that, deciding that his friend needed him merely as a comfort pillow more than a pep-talker right now.
He heard the sounds of uneven breaths coming from Hiroki, and warm water start to pool onto his chest as he held him.
"Shh…It'll be okay." Miyagi spoke soothingly.
Sorry, I know. I've made Hiroki cry a LOT in this fanfiction…I don't know why. I guess I just feel like he would show his emotions more if he ever had the chance, and he's cried in front of Miyagi before so it's okay. And Nowaki, which are the only two people. And I'm sure he's cried alone due to Akihiko before they got together. So it's okay. I know, I ruined a perfectly good, cute moment with more angst. I'm sorry. XD
