Disclaimer: Coming up with a new way to say "I don't own Victorious" for each chapter is probably the most stressful part of this job.
Her arms are carefully locked around me, safe and secure. She nuzzles me gently, an act of concerned affection. I'm still sitting on the ground against that incredibly hard metal pole. If you doubt how hard it was, ask my back. It's throbbing, but Cat makes everything feel a bit better.
However, even Cat's presence doesn't make the fact that Jade West is standing in front of us, in Toronto, after just punching out Cat's ex fiancé, any less confusing. I stare at her, my mouth opening and closing, trying to form my confusion into words. But I think my confusion transcends the English language.
"Finally. All these years and I finally got you to stop talking." Jade smirks. This makes me find my words as I fix my face into a glare.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I gape. She lets out a sigh, seeming disappointed that my muteness is over.
"Apparently saving your ass. You're welcome, by the way. Geez, I fly all this way to talk and I catch you two in the middle of a UFC fight." Jade huffs.
"Yeah… thanks. You were right on time." I mutter. I totally could've taken him, though. Maybe. Probably not.
"I wouldn't say that. I was in an Uber Toronto taxi on the way to your place when I saw you two on the other side of the street, talking to this dick." She nudges Barry with her foot. "So I had them pull over, got out and… watched the show."
"So you waited until after I was thrown into a pole to help?" I grumble.
"Yep. Good thing, too. My only regret is that I didn't have my phone out recording it." Jade muses. I let out a frustrated huff. She can't be for real. "But then I saw Cat about to pull the same stunt you did, and I figured seeing such a tiny person meet the same fate would border on sad rather than funny."
Well, at least she's in a head space where she doesn't want to see Cat get hurt. I wish she could say the same for me.
"Well thanks anyway." I mumble. Jade looks at Cat, who hasn't removed herself from her desperately snuggled position against me.
"For god sakes, Cat, your girlfriend is fine. You can relax." Jade sighs. I turn to her, tipping her chin. There are tears in her eyes.
"She's right. I'm okay." I assure her.
"Are you sure? Because you hit that pole really hard." Cat mutters. "I was worried… what if he had really damaged your spine?" She croaks. I rotate my ankle. There's a bit of a tingle across my body but I still have function.
"See? I'm fine. Just sore." I nod. "Were you really going to go after him?"
"Yeah… That's why I can't really get mad at you for trying to fight him." Cat sighs. "Although, I'm still a little mad at you." She mumbles, nuzzling me again. I give her a tight, reassuring hug.
"Sorry, hun. I just couldn't let him get away with calling you that." I sigh.
"…Really? That's how you be mad at someone?" Jade scoffs. "Now I almost miss the days you would snap at the littlest critical comment."
"Jade… Believe me I'm happy to see you, and I'm forever grateful to you for protecting Tori… eventually… but what are you doing here?" Cat inquires.
"Hold on. First you're explaining… this." Jade gestures to the knocked out body. "From the argument, the general idea was you were involved with this guy, and when Tori showed up you cheated on him with her."
"Yeah…" Cat looks away, not meeting Jade's gaze. "Tori told me you know about why I left. Well, that's what this was about. I… tried to use him. For a child. And I was just so… lost and confused and Tori helped bring me back but by then, I had already hurt him."
"Huh. So you were actually kind of a horrible person. Didn't think you had it in you. I'm almost proud." Jade smirks. Cat bites her lip.
"Don't…" She chokes.
"Jade." I warn, "She feels bad enough. She was trying to put it all behind her before he showed up."
"No, but, Jade's right. What I did… it wasn't fair. Even if I was lost at the time. It's not excusable. He has a right to be mad." Cat mumbles.
"But he didn't have the right to verbally attack you like that." I state. "Besides, don't forget how unhappy he made you, and how controlling he was. Even if the way you got out of the relationship wasn't the cleanest, at least you got out." I argue. Cat looks at me, her guilt apparent.
"I know. Like I told him… I don't regret it. Being with you when I was with him. But I hate to think… I really ruined his life. He wasn't a horrible person, he just wasn't for me." Cat mutters.
"You're giving yourself too much credit." Jade rolls her eyes. "He'll get over you. Look, people make mistakes. You obviously do. Even I…" She trails off.
"You…" I urge. She's silent for a moment, then she shakes her head.
"Well, that's why I'm here. To make up for my mistakes." She sighs. Cat blinks up at her.
"Really?" Cat asks.
"Maybe. We'll see. I wanted to talk and that somehow possessed me to fly to Canada." Jade mutters.
"Well… I appreciate it. A lot. I'm more than willing to talk." Cat nods.
"Same. But first… what do we do with… that?" I ask pointing at Barry. People had been walking by and looking wary, but I guess they all saw Jade and decided not to get involved.
"I guess we can't just leave him here for a police officer to find, huh? I can't get charged with anything in a foreign country." Jade thinks for a moment. As someone is walking by, she grabs their bottle of water. "Can I borrow that? Thanks." Jade mutters, leaving the pedestrian dumbfounded. Jade unscrews the bottle and splashes it onto Barry's face. He sputters awake.
"Bwah… ahh…" He looks around confused, and Jade gets down to his eye level giving the most intense death glare. He stares at her, actually looking scared.
"You're going to go home. You are going to not be so hung up on a girl you don't even really know. You're going to leave her and her sickeningly sweet relationship with her girlfriend alone. You're going to move on. Got it?" Jade orders. He blinks at her.
"Young lady I don't know who you are but I think I should decide what I can and-"
"NOW!" Jade screeches, cutting him off. He yelps and shuffles back before getting up and sprinting away. Jade stands up, casually brushing her hair to the side. "He won't bother you again."
"Uh… Thanks." Cat breathes.
"So is Vega going to get up so we can talk or should I just take the next flight to LA?" Jade huffs. We stare at her, and then turn to each other.
"You okay to get up?" Cat asks.
"Yeah, I should be." I nod, starting to push myself up. My back seizes and I wince. "Maybe a little help, please."
Cat loops her arm around me supportively, placing my arm over her shoulders. She slowly gets me off the ground. Ugh, I won't be twisting my back in any certain way for the next few days. Cat gives me a tight hug once we're up.
"Love you." She whispers.
"I love you too." I sigh. I look over to Jade, who's looking impatient. "Alright, let's talk."
"Where? Tim Hortons?" Cat suggests.
"No. Starbucks." Jade demands.
"You know, if you're dating a guy from Canada, it wouldn't hurt if you…" I trail off when I see the look on her face. "Starbucks it is."
"Thank you." Jade huffs, walking away. We eventually find a place, Cat being very protective and careful with me along the way. It took me about two minutes to sit down in my chair, and even then I'm in a weird sideways position. If it hurts this much now, I can't imagine how it's going to feel tomorrow. I'll have to get Cat to kiss it better.
"So… What made you change your mind? You told me you didn't want to deal with us anymore." I start.
"Well it started with Beck. He… expressed that I was being unfair. I expressed a shoe at his head. But some of the things he said stuck with me. I argued everyone else was weak for forgiving you. He said I was being weak by holding onto the past." Jade recalls. "That's what made me throw a shoe at his head. But it made me think, I guess."
"And then what?" Cat questions.
"I guess my turning point was when I was cleaning out my closet at home. Ended up pulling out that pair of scissors from The Scissoring you got me for Christmas in our junior year. It was actually one of my favourite things and I had it on display at all times. But after you… 'died', I put it away." Jade mumbles. "When I found it, you could say I… got a little emotional."
"You cried?" I gape. I don't even remember her crying when we first thought Cat died.
"I didn't say that." She snaps, looking defensive. "Point is it brought back some memories. Some good. Some annoying." Jade stares at Cat, who shrinks down a bit. "I started to think about why I buried every trace of you I could. Why I wanted to believe you were dead."
"You didn't want to drive yourself crazy wondering if she was alive." I state. "You told me that once, I think."
"Yeah. I'm surprised you remember that. You were trashed." Jade comments. Cat frowns a bit at this, and she squeezes my hand.
"I'm surprised too. But that was the talk that sorted me out, so of course some of it stuck with me." I sigh. Jade nods slowly.
"Right. So that was part of the reason." Jade agrees. She looks to Cat. "After you were declared missing and the blood was found, I accepted you were dead right there and then. I mourned you then. I let myself lose my best friend, and then I moved on. I remembered you, but as far as I was concerned… you were dead. That was that." She explains.
"And then… I wasn't." Cat mumbles.
"And then you weren't." Jade repeats. "Kind of a shock to the system. I've watched a ton of horror movies about people coming back from the dead, but nothing prepared me for how it felt to really truly have you back after spending over three years accepting your death."
"Meanwhile everyone else still had a bit of hope left, so that's why they were able to accept her being alive better." I conclude.
"Exactly. It honestly messed with me in a big way. It's like I went through the opposite of the stages of grief, except I couldn't reach acceptance. And… I was pretty bitter and angry, too. More than usual. I don't admit being wrong very often. Now, I had spent all this time putting you to rest while others around me still wanted you to be alive. I could've been the same. I could've had hope." Jade sighs.
"Jade… it's okay. I wouldn't have expected you to wait for me to come back like everyone else did. You actually had my preferred response when I did it. I wanted everyone to accept it and move on." Cat states.
"Which is why I was so mad you were back. That, on top of the feelings of betrayal… Yeah, I wanted nothing to do with you." Jade explains. She nods at me. "Or you, for being involved with it. For having the most hope out of any of us."
"And now?" I inquire.
"Now…" She sighs. "Now I had this case with the scissors in my hands, and I thought about that perky, random girl who gave them to me. The girl who cared about everyone around her far too much for it to be healthy. The girl whose life got cut way too short. Who didn't deserve to die so young." Jade pauses a second. "It's not often you get a second chance at life. I don't claim to be the most… passive person. But I believe in second chances. I believe in moving on. That's why I pulled Vega out of that ditch. That's why I yelled at that guy on the street. So I figured… if life can give Cat Valentine a second chance… why can't I?"
"And… acceptance." I state.
"Acceptance." Jade nods.
"That's… amazing. Thank you, Jade. For giving me that chance." Tears fill Cat's eyes. "But you didn't have to come all the way here…"
"But I did. Like I said, Jade West doesn't admit she's wrong often, but when she does… She doesn't half ass it." Jade claims. "The way we left off wasn't satisfying. What if life decided your second chance was over and you died for real tomorrow? Hey, who knows? Maybe that douche would've murdered you. He seemed ready to murder Vega. So… here I am. In person. Letting you know… I'm… glad you're alive." She finishes with a large breath.
"Thank you, Jade." Cat whimpers, unable to contain her emotions. I smile lightly, happy for Cat.
"And what about me?" I ask.
"Yeah, I guess it's cool that you're alive too." Jade huffs.
I'll take it.
"Can I hug you?" Cat asks.
"Nope." Jade glares. "Just because I'm reinstating our friendship and being all sentimental doesn't mean our rules have changed. No touching. You have a perfectly… adequate girlfriend for that." Jade grumbles. Adequate?
I'll still take it.
"So you approve of our relationship?" Cat asks, pulling my arm to her lap.
"Sure. Just don't get too mushy in front of me. And no double dates with me and Beck, I swear to god." Jade warns.
"Deal." I nod.
"Aww." Cat frowns. I smile at her.
"Come here. I want to give you a kiss but I can't lean over to you." I say to her. A grin breaks on her face and she leans up to me so I can give her a light peck on the lips. She looks at me with concern.
"I'm so sorry your back hurts… I know you did that for me." She bites her lip. "I'll kiss it better when we get home." Cat assures me softly. I love how she reads my mind sometimes.
"Ugh. You're already breaking the first rule." Jade glowers. Cat hops away from me.
"Sorry." Cat squeaks. Jade smirks, obviously enjoying being able to intimidate Cat again. Cat quickly collects herself. "So, what's next for you?"
"I'll be leaving as soon as possible. Tim Burton needs me back. We're going to be doing a stop motion thing. It'll be great." Jade explains. "What about you two?"
Both Cat and I look at each other. "We don't know. I guess my career and… Her job. Moving into a better place. Who knows? We'll see. We're just going to… live our life together." I answer.
And it's true. It's hard to know what to expect. But we have each other, and I know because of that… We'll be able to face it. And I'm so excited to be with her through everything. She's my rock, my foundation, my life. And I can tell by the soft, loving look she's giving me… she feels the same.
"Hey, guys." Jade tries to interrupt.
"Mhm?" Cat sighs dreamily, not breaking our gaze.
"You're breaking the rule again."
December 18th, 2017
My eyes are burning. I know they really just want to close but I need to keep working. I need to have this new song finished and ready for next week. A Christmas song. Andre is way better at writing Christmas songs than I am. But we had decided it'd be good for my channel during the holiday season. But… I've been putting it off so I'm pressed for time. On top of that, I was filming a collaboration all day. Another Splashfacer and I were doing a Maroon 5 mash-up, and this guy was already invited to go on the big tour in the spring so it's great networking. But man am I exhausted.
I came in late and Cat was already sleeping. We're still in the studio apartment so I had nowhere to work because I didn't want to sit in bed and disturb her. So, I'm sitting on my bathroom floor with my PearPad and headphones, listening to the music samples Nicky gave me and trying to come up with lyrics. Ugh don't get me wrong, I love Christmas music, but writing it? All the peppy jingle bells and stuff just sound so… inauthentic. Know what I'd like to write? A Christmas ballad. That'd be much better.
I know I'm exhausted and I should really be in bed, but I do love what I'm doing. Busy making music all the time. That's all I've wanted since I was like… 16? 17? Now I get to. I just reached 2 million subscribers on Splashface so everything is paying off. Vik says at this rate I'll be invited to that tour in no time. But… there's a problem.
Cat… We live together, but I'm so busy I barely get to spend much time with her. We still have nights where we can cuddle up to a movie or she'll come by the studio on her breaks at the diner to bring me a latte. Still such a sweetheart, and she's supportive… even though I know it's slightly bothering her. She'll look really sad when I need to leave her arms to get to studio. I get it. I miss her too. But we get that sacrifices have to be made for a career like this, and she's happy for my success. But… yeah. I wish I could bring her out on a proper date. I'd even take her to that damn skating rink again. In fact… why am I working? She's right there. I should be holding her. Huh… maybe that's what the song should be about… holding those close to you at Christmas…
I feel the light pressure of her lips on my forehead before I even see she's in the room. I look up, the light from my PearPad illuminating her face. She looks groggy, but she's smiling softly. I take off my headphones.
"Cat, what are you doing in here?" I ask.
"Oh, you know… I was planning on using the bathroom. Like a normal person." She comments.
"Sorry. I'll get out of your way for a second." I start to get up, but she holds me down and kneels next to me.
"Nuh-uh. You aren't going anywhere." She murmurs, pressing her lips to mine gently. I move mine against hers, grateful for the content, fuzzy feeling she's giving me. No matter how busy I am… I still never give up a chance to kiss her. She pulls away, resting her forehead against mine. "How was filming?"
"Fun, but tiring. You'll love it when it comes out. Really cool filming style." I explain. She chuckles slightly.
"I'm sure I'll love it if you're in it. Does this mean I'm replaced? You're going to use a new film director?" Cat teases. I smile, pulling her onto my lap.
"Not a chance. You're still in charge of my own music videos. And my editing. Which I'm never going to stop being grateful for. Seriously. It helps a lot." I sigh. Cat insisted on editing all my footage together after I film, saying she enjoyed it. She does an amazing job, too. It's great because… usually I can nap while she edits. That's precious sleep time I would miss out on otherwise.
"It's no trouble. Anything to help out." She smiles. Then, she bites her lip. "Um, I actually… I wanted to talk to you about something. Since you're up and… here."
"Okay. What's up?" I ask.
"One sec." Cat pecks me on the cheek and walks out of the bathroom. I hear her shuffling around, and then she comes back with a large envelope. She seems nervous. "So… I didn't tell you because I didn't think anything would come out of it. It was spur of the moment and I actually forgot about it. But, um…" She trails off. I give her a questioning look.
"What'd you do? It's not like you to keep secrets." I ponder. She raises her eyebrow and I chuckle. "Anymore."
"Well like I said… I forgot about it. I… I applied to the film program at Ryerson University." She reveals. I stare at her.
"That was spur of the moment?" I gape.
"Yes. Bev was talking to me about broadening my horizons now that I didn't have to hide anymore, and I already had some things shot including the Shake video so I just threw together an application." She explains. I reach out and take her hand.
"Cat, I think that's great. I'm glad you're expanding a bit more. You have so much to offer." I smile. She smiles back, blushing. I glance at the envelope. "So…"
"So…" She slowly hands me the envelope. "I received this today." She breathes. I take it and she looks up at me. "I got in."
Oh my god!
"Cat!" I throw my hands up in there air and wrap them around her. "That's incredible! But not surprising. I'm so, so proud of you! This is fantastic news!" I gush, squeezing her tight.
"Thanks, Tori." She mumbles, burying her face in my hair. I pull away and take the acceptance letter out, reading through it. I see words like 'innovative', 'creative', 'fresh', and lines like 'privileged to have you'. It makes my heart swell with pride. I look up at her, beaming, but my face falls when she's chewing on her lip and looking uneasy.
"What's wrong? You don't seem excited." I note with concern.
"No, I am. Ecstatic. But I really needed to run it by you before I… accept their acceptance." She mutters.
"Cat, of course you should go. You want this. You don't need my permission." I sigh. I wonder if this is some blow back from being with Barry, who tried to control her every move.
"Well it's more complicated than that… check the date of classes." Cat instructs. I look down again, and I read that classes start in May. "I got accepted in the spring program, which starts in May… the same time that tour starts." Cat sighs. "Tori, if I take this... I can't go on tour with you."
I look up at her, frowning. Now I see her problem. The tour starts the first week of May. That'll be hard… its two months, and could be extended beyond that. Even if I don't get to spend that much time with her now, she's always there when I go to bed and when I wake up. I don't know how I'd do without having her around me for a few months. But… no. This isn't about me. This is a crazy opportunity, and she'd be crazy to miss it. Even if I'll miss her.
"Cat, my answers the same. Of course you should take this. Never let me keep you from doing something you want to do. It'll be hard but… it'll be good, too. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?" I encourage her. She tilts her head to the side, a sad smile on her face.
"But also sadder. I don't know if I can do that… go so long without you." She sighs. I gently reach out to cup her face.
"Cat, it's up to you… but please remember I'll support you one-hundred percent no matter what. I don't want to stand in the way of anything." I declare. She closes her eyes.
"I know. I just love you so damn much and…" She trails off, biting her lip. I pause a moment.
"Anything I can do to make it easier?" I ask softly. Her eyes open.
"I know you're really busy, but… maybe… if you can… spare some more time with me when you can? Before then, so I can at least get my Tori fix from time to time and then maybe it won't be so hard. I'm sorry if that's too much to ask." She sighs. I pull her into me, feeling guilty for neglecting her for work.
"Honey, of course it's not too much. You're my girlfriend and I always want to spend more time with you." I mumble, kissing her on top of the head. "I'll make sure of it. No Tori withdrawal for you."
She pulls away. "So, when we go to LA…?" She searches my eyes. Again, I feel guilty. We were planning to fly to LA for Christmas and New Years, but I was already slated to spend most of the time collaborating with other Splashfacers in LA.
"I'll be sure to spread things out." I assure her. I place my PearPad beside me. "Starting now. No more working. Let's fall asleep together." I state. She smiles and hugs me tight, seeming satisfied. Then she pulls away, blinking.
"Wow. So. Film school." She breathes.
"Hell yeah." I chuckle, helping ourselves up. "I can't wait to tell everyone my girl is going to get higher education." I gush. She bursts out laughing. "What?"
"Nothing, just… Out of all our friends at Hollywood Arts, I'm the one going to university." Cat giggles. I laugh, too, and give her an affectionate kiss.
"See? You're limitless. No one should ever underestimate you." I coo, and she blushes. We head out to the bed, still stumbling over things. "Okay I admit this will get even worse with giant text books around."
"Don't worry. We have that new place up town. Just the lease doesn't start until April. We can make it." Cat assures me. I laugh and fall into bed, pulling her on top of me. She snuggles close, letting out a contented sigh. I squeeze her tight, already letting my exhaustion take over… "Aw shit."
"What?" I question.
"I forgot I got up to go to the bathroom." She huffs. "Whatever… I'll go in the morning. Gotta make sacrifices." She murmurs, placing her head on my chest. I chuckle, stroking her hair. I love her, and I'll do my best to make sacrifices for her.
Things are falling in place for both of us, but I hope it doesn't make us fall apart.
April 24th, 2018
"And here's our kitchen." I state, waving around my laptop.
"Nice place, Tori. Not as open concept as our house here but it's still nice for you and Cat."
"Thanks, dad. Yeah, it's nice. It's only… a kitchen, a living area, bedroom and a bathroom. But we have tons of room compared to the studio apartment. Four different rooms, dad. Four! And there's less of a… musty smell." I crinkle my nose. I walk out into the living room area and sit on the couch with my laptop, setting it on the coffee table so my dad can see me. That's right. We have a couch. And a coffee table. What a time to be alive.
"Well thanks for finally showing it to me." He chuckles.
"Hey, that's not fair. You know how busy I've been." I frown.
"I know, I know. You've been rehearsing your butt off. Your mother and I are so proud of you for making a spot on that tour. You have no idea." He beams. That's right. Last month we finally got the word. I was going on tour. I was a last minute addition so I've had to catch up on rehearsing. It's been a great experience though. Splaceface even flew in a professional choreographer for me. I wouldn't be at this point without my fans – they demanded me. Almost 4 million subscribers strong!
"Thank you. Yeah, my butt's been rehearsed off. I miss it." I joke.
"Well after you get all rich and famous from this, you can buy a new diamond incrusted butt." He proclaims.
"I'll have a more famous butt than Kim Kardashian." I laugh.
"Hmm… I don't want my daughter known for her butt. I don't like this idea anymore." He muses, and I laugh again.
"I miss you guys. Did you get the back stage passes for the LA show?" I ask.
"Absolutely. Trina is coming back home just to see you in concert." He beams.
"More like to see the other celebrities." I sigh.
"Maybe. But it's the thought that counts." He chuckles. "You nervous?"
"Very. But excited. And kind of sad." I mumble. My dad gets a sympathetic look on his face.
"Because of Cat?" He asks.
"Yeah." I frown. I told her back in the winter we would spend more time together, and I tried… but sometimes the scheduling wouldn't work out and I'd have to cancel on her. I hate having to schedule in my girlfriend.
"How's she feeling about the whole thing?" He inquires.
"She's really happy for me. And proud. I'm sure of that. But she's a little sad, too." I sigh. "But that's why I booked off today. Starting tomorrow it's crunch time and I'll practically be sleeping at the rec centre. And then a week from today I'm leaving on tour. Tonight… it's just going to be me and her. Maybe some Chinese food. Hopefully it's enough to tie us over until tour is done." I lean back, crossing my arms.
"I'm sure you'll have some Chinese food on tour, Tori. Don't worry." He jokes. I roll my eyes. Dad jokes. "But seriously, you'll be keeping in touch through video chat like this, right?"
"Yeah. Every day." I nod. It's not the same, but it's something.
"Then I'm sure you'll make it through. Is she excited for school?"
"Very. Whenever I do see her, she's fiddling with her camera. I think she'll do really well." I state proudly. He nods in agreement.
"I'm glad things are working out for you. Oh, and the reason I called… I thought you should know." He starts. I tilt my head.
"What?"
"Remember how when Cat was first taken into custody, somebody leaked to the media that she faked her death?" He reminds me. I nod darkly.
"Yeah. Of course. That caused a lot of unwanted stress." I mutter. He nods in agreement.
"Well, we did some investigating… Guess what we found out?" He requests. I stare at him, and shrug. "It was Babcock. Apparently he was at a bar bragging to some buddies about how he caught one of LA's most famous missing people. A reporter overheard him. Long story short, he got suspended."
"Good riddance." I huff. I never liked him.
"Right. And so, that means he's no longer entitled to the chief position…" He trails off. I gape at him.
"You mean…"
"Yep, you're looking at the new LAPD chief. Eventually, whenever the old one steps down… which should be soon." He grins. I clap my hands over my mouth.
"Oh my god dad, I'm going to cry. Ugh that's… I have no words. You deserve it. Just don't have a heart attack again, please." I sniff.
"Hey, the doctor cleared me for duty. I'm as healthy as a horse. Besides, I'll have less field work now… I'll be too busy running a smooth machine." He winks. "You're not the only Vega finding success."
"We have strong genes." I grin.
"We do. Anyway, I'll let you go get ready for your night. I just had to tell you." My dad says. I check the time.
"Yeah, she'll be home from work soon. Thanks dad. And I'm really happy for you."
"Happy for you too, pumpkin. Love you."
"Love you too. Tell mom I also love her."
"I will. Bye."
I close my laptop and let out a breath. My dad is going to be the police chief… what a great way to start what will be an amazing night. I get up and look in the bedroom. I left a large bouquet of flowers for Cat on the night table. I hope she likes them.
I go to the closet and strip down so I can slip on a sleek, sensual dress. I want to look nice for her, and also maybe make her want to take off the dress. I head back to the living room, light some candles and place them around the room, dim the lights, and turn on some jazzy music. I know it's cliché but… this is our first night together for a while. Let me be cliché.
I find myself standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room. Now what? Should I… lounge sexily on the couch? How will I know if I look sexy? Whatever, I'll just take a guess.
I try to lounge back on it, but my dress is so short I'm basically bearing all this way. I'd like to start with some subtly. I try to fix myself into a different position, but I just end up planking across the couch. Okay, Tori, just turn slightly and rest your head on your hand… wait, my dress is riding up. That's even less subtle! Ugh…
Shit… I hear her keys jingling. She's right outside the door! I have to get in a good position without messing up my dress…
"Wah!" I yelp as I fall off the couch, just as Cat walks in. I don't want to look up. I ruin everything.
"Uh… Tori?" Cat asks tentatively.
"Heeey… Baby…" I sigh into the floor. I hear her chuckle as she comes over to me.
"Did you start without me or something?" She laughs.
"No. I'm just. You know. Being a smooth operator as usual." I groan. She laughs again and I look up at her. She's still in her waitress outfit, and she's looking at me dotingly.
"You're just out of practice." She grins, running her hand over my chin. "We'll have to fix that."
"Great. Good. Glad you still want to sleep with me." I mumble. She giggles, helping me up.
"How could I not want to sleep with someone who puts this much effort in for me?" She coos, kissing me affectionately.
"Yeah… sorry, I know I haven't been doing stuff like this as much as I should." I mumble. She shakes her head.
"It's okay. We have tonight. That's what matters. I don't want to think about tomorrow or the next few months… tonight you're all mine." She husks, clutching me close. My eyes grow heavy, and my run my tongue over my lip.
"Always. I'm always all yours." I promise.
"I know." She murmurs, and she kisses me slowly. I slip my tongue in her mouth and she lets out a moan. In hind sight, the dress was a stupid idea. If we were just going to start right away, I should have just greeted her naked. That's how she prefers me, anyway.
We waddle towards the bedroom, not breaking the kiss. She's able to pull my dress off as we get in the door and she nuzzles up to my ear.
"You have no idea how much I've been looking forward to this." She whispers. I let out a moan as she cups my breast. I'm already exploding at her touch.
"If it's anywhere near half the amount I've been waiting for this, then yeah, I have an idea." I sigh, pulling her close and rubbing up against her. I need more. I need her skin. I start to take off her waitress outfit.
"What's with the flowers?" She asks and I let her top fall away.
"They're for you." I tell her, pulling off her bra. I start to run my lips over her breasts.
"Mmm… You're sweet. Thank you. They're beautiful… like you." She moans, and I push down her skirt. She pushes down her underwear after, and we press against each other, grinding and feeling each other. She feels amazing. I've been way too deprived of her. We've been able to have sex from time to time but it was usually just to get each other off, regrettably. That's not how I want sex with Cat to be like. I want it to be slow and intimate. We haven't have the time to really sink into the romance of it - to really experience each other - in a long time. Now we do. And we have all night.
"Bed." I growl, pushing her back.
"Kay, kay." She breathes, pulling me onto it. We got a double bed when we moved in here. Still a bit more room to move, but we were so used to sleeping squished together on a single bed, we figured it'd be better to keep the confines of the bed small. Definitely no complaints there.
She rolls over onto me, kissing me deeply. This is good. We can stay like this for a while. I'm not rehearsing right now. I'm not singing. I'm with Cat. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
We slowly move up the pillows and Cat stays straddling me, stroking my tongue slowly with hers, savouring every moment. This is our last night for a while. I want every sensation tonight embroidered on my mind and body. When I'm across the country and I'm lying in bed after a show, I want to remember this feeling right here as vividly as if it were happening all over again. I need it to be like that.
"Tori…" She breathes into me.
"I love you." I murmur, nibbling on her lip.
"Hnn… You're my everything. My best decision I've ever made." She coos.
"And you're… the best thing to happen to me… screw music career. You are. You." I assure her between kisses.
"You're going to make me cry." She groans, moving down to kiss my neck. She sucks gently on it, and I let out another moan.
"Don't. This is a happy night. And if you do cry, I'll kiss your tears away." I promise her. She lets out a breath and her shoulders shake.
"Get your lips ready, then." She whispers and leans up to look at me. Her eyes are glistening. I cup her cheek.
"Baby I'm sorry. I'm sorry about-"
She cuts me off with another kiss. "Remember, I just want to focus on us. Anything other than what's happening right now is not as important." She breathes.
"It's hard to focus on anything but you right now." I smile, looking her over. She also smiles, sniffing away her tears.
"Good. This'll will be all you'll be looking at for the next however many hours." She smirks.
"Shucks." I whisper, pulling her back in for a kiss. She moves her body against me, and I'm in heaven. Absolute heaven. And she's my angel.
I reach up and run my hand fleetingly over her breast and she moans – generally a beautiful sound. But something's different about it this time…
Shit. It's because my phone is ringing while she's moaning. Ugh. I should probably get that. It wouldn't be Vik or Nicky. They know not to interrupt me tonight. So… it might be something important.
"I'm so sorry." I push her away, looking guilty.
"What happened to turning your phone off during these times?" She sighs.
"I know, I know. Just hold on." I sigh, reaching over to grab my phone. I quickly answer it, planning to keep it short. "Hello?"
"Um… Hey, Tori." Vik's small voice comes through. I scrunch my brow.
"What are you doing?" I mutter.
"I know, I'm sorry. Did you… um… start?" He asks.
"Only a lot." I say, and that's made all too clear when Cat starts sucking on one of my nipples. I have to bite back a moan. Every time. She does this every time I'm on the phone.
"Oh, Christ…" He groans.
"What do you want? Make it quick." I order, and Cat bites down gently. Nng. "Please."
"Tori, I… I'm sorry. You have to come into the studio." He sighs. I clutch the phone, hard. He can't be serious.
"You better be joking." I scoff.
"I'm not. I wouldn't joke about this." He mumbles.
"It's my day off, Vik. You promised me this day off." I glower. Cat leaves my breast, looking at me with worry.
"I know. Look, both Nicky and I are torn up about it. It caught us by surprise, too. The Splashface executives… they planned an important, mandatory meeting for all their tour talent tonight. That information didn't get through to us. We were just contacted now because we hadn't RSVP'd." Vik explains.
"Well tell them I won't be there." I state.
"Tori…"
"No, I need this tonight. You know that." I argue. Cat searches me, still looking worried. She moves up to start gently kissing my neck. It calms me down, a little.
"Believe me I know. And you know I wouldn't call and ask this of you if it wasn't important. Tori, you know me. You know how much I want you to have your time with Cat." He sighs.
"So what makes this meeting oh so important?" I snap.
"It's logistics, and stuff you need to personally know. Like they said, it's mandatory. And if you're not there…" He trails off.
"Then what?"
"Well, there are a ton of other Splashface musicians in reserve. They don't want flakes on the tour. Only people who really want to be there. For everything." Vik states.
"So… that means…" I breathe.
"You miss this meeting, you're off the tour." He sighs. We're silent for a moment. All I've been working for the past six months… it'd be over… "I can't tell you what to do. I'm your producer and manager, but I'm your friend first. If you want to call this off, fine. I'll understand. We'll figure something else out."
I think long and hard. This is the chance of a life time. I worked hard for this. So did Vik and Nicky. This could be the big break for all of us. I have an album written out, but there's no guarantee anyone will hear it outside of Splashface unless I go on this tour. It might flop. Singing Falcon would go bankrupt. I'd lose my dream.
But then… there's the girl supportively and lovingly kissing my neck right now. I promised her tonight. I promised I'd make time for her. After tonight, I won't really be with her again until who knows when. But… If I don't go to the meeting, I'll lose the tour. If I go to the meeting… Cat wouldn't leave me. She's be upset, which kills me, but… I'd still have her.
Right?
"…Okay. I'll be there." I breathe, closing my eyes. Cat stops her movements entirely, no longer moving. I feel a lump in my throat. She knows.
"…Okay. Tell Cat I'm… truly, very sorry. But it's out of my control." He mutters.
"I know, Vik. How long do I have?"
"You have to be patched through in just under half an hour." Vik explains.
"Damn. Okay, see you soon." I mumble.
"Bye, Tor."
I press the end call and my arm flops to the side. I stare at the ceiling silently, and Cat still hasn't moved. When she speaks, the frailty of her voice breaks my heart.
"You're leaving, aren't you?"
"Yes." I admit, tears filling my eyes. "Cat, I'm so sor-"
"Don't." She cuts me off, pushing away from me. "Just don't."
"I have to go, Cat. You know how much I wanted to be with you tonight." I sigh.
"Then be with me tonight." She huffs, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"I wish I could. I wouldn't leave unless absolutely necessary." I try to explain. She turns to me, a scowl on her face and tears in her eyes. She looks… so hurt. Fuck.
"You promised." She glowers. "You promised me tonight."
"I know I did. I know. But this is important." I groan.
"More important than me? You just told me nothing else was more important than being with me tonight." Cat huffs.
"Nothing is!" I argue. "But I have no choice!"
"Yes, you did. I heard Vik. He gave you a choice. You didn't chose me." She whimpers, pushing off the bed. She paces angrily.
"If you heard it then you know what the stakes are! You know I'll lose the tour if I don't go!" I yell.
"But what about me?" She snaps, turning to me. "I don't gain anything! I just lose you!"
"You still have me! You always have me!" I stand up, too.
"Not here! Not with me!" She steps closer, tears starting to run down her face. "I needed this tonight, Tori. To solidify what we have! To show that this career won't stop us from being together!"
"This isn't easy for me either, Cat! You have no idea how hard it'll be for me out there without you! But it's my dream! My dream! I've worked too hard for this!" I shout.
"Then fine! Go live your dream! But I won't be able to handle it if you keep leaving me in the dust like this!" She sobs.
"Don't do this to me. It's not fair. What about you always being there to support me? Was that just bullshit?!" I growl, also feeling the sting of tears down my face.
"And what about you? Where's my support? Instead you're just breaking promises! Promises that meant the world to me! Is this just going to be a common thing now?" Cat spits.
"We both know we had to make sacrificed for this! It's just one night!" I huff.
"Just one night?" Cat gapes, "Tori if that's all this night meant to you, after all you said before, I don't know if we're even on the same page anymore."
"No, I didn't… I didn't mean that. The point is there will be other nights. And I need you to stick with me through this. You need to see how hard this is for me, too. And it kills me to know I'm hurting you but fuck, Cat, if you really don't want to support me through this, then you're right. Maybe we aren't on the same page." I glower. She stares at me for a moment, a thick tension between us. Finally, she turns away.
"Go. Just go." Cat mutters, stalking out of the room.
"Cat-"
"I said go."
Then I hear the slam of the bathroom door. I suck in a deep breath, trying to catch my bearings. Everything's buzzing. I can't believe we just… is that it? Are we… have we decided this can't work? I don't… I don't know. I can't be here. I need to get out of here.
I quickly throw on some clothes and leave. I makes my whole body ache in the worst way when I can hear Cat's sobbing through the wall after I close the front door.
I make it to the meeting, but I don't say much. I'm hardly even there. My mind is just completely on Cat. It takes me biting my sleeve pretty hard to keep myself from crying. Vik and Nicky watch me worriedly, but they know not to ask.
The meeting goes far into the night, and once everything is sorted, I head back home. The apartment is dark. I can almost feel the pain and sadness in the air. I look towards the bedroom, and its door is slightly cracked open. I want to go in there and… I don't know what. But it's probably too soon.
I better try to get some sleep. Crunch time tomorrow. I take off my jacket and sit on the couch, throwing it over me as I lay down. My throat burns, the tears threatening to escape. That's when her voice calls to me from the bedroom.
"Tori… don't you dare sleep anywhere but with me tonight." Her voice croaks. I sit up, confused. I thought she'd be furious with me. Does she really want to sleep in the same bed still?
I get up and cautiously push open the door. I see her figure, sitting up and waiting for me. I slowly walk over, and once I'm close enough, she pulls me to her. She turns me around, holding me from behind as we lay down. She buries her head into my hair and breathes in, squeezing me tight against her.
That's when I get it. No matter our fight before… this is still our night. We're still not going to see each other much starting tomorrow. So, for now, we're putting it to the side. For each other. Because being together right now is the most important thing.
I clutch her arms around me. Desperately. I needed tonight.
I need her.
May 20th, 2018
It has been…
Almost three weeks.
I could tell you the hours, minutes and seconds probably, too.
That's how long I've been on tour.
That's how long I've been without Cat.
That's not even including the week before tour where I didn't even see her because I was so busy polishing up the last of my set. Not to mention we weren't talking after that fight.
That… horrendous fight.
Don't worry. We patched it up, as much as we could over video chat. Just a few days into the tour, we were on our computers sobbing to each other and apologizing. We both recognized it was one of those arguments nobody could win. There were pros and cons to both sides. Bottom line is we loved each other far too much to let it drive a wedge between us. This tour was going to be hard enough on us without seeing each other. At least now we were on speaking terms.
But… I know it's in the back of our minds. This issue might keep coming up. And if it does… will we be able to power through each time? Or…
Let's not think about an alternative.
On the bright side, the tour is going very well. I'm sharing a tour bus with Vik, Nicky and three other Splashfacers, plus their form of producers/agents. It can get kind of crowded but they're all very nice and we get along. It works.
The shows themselves? Incredible. Like nothing I've experienced before. The crowds are wild and the energy in the room is impalpable. When I'm up there, I almost forget everything. Almost.
Except Cat.
Cat's classes are going great. It's only been a few weeks but she's top of the class and the professors love her energy. Of course. I knew she'd be amazing at it. I just wish she weren't so far away.
"You know, just because we're in Missouri doesn't mean you should be feeling misery." Nicky pulls me out of my thoughts, glancing into my bunk on the bus.
"Ha. Good one." I mumble. Nicky leans against the side.
"C'mon, T. You were doing well after you and Cat made up. But now it seems like as each day goes by you get more… lifeless." Nicky sighs.
"I'm fine. I just… miss her. That's all." I state.
"Well this is supposed to be the time of your life and most of the time you don't seem to be having much fun at all. I've got to tell you… Vik and I feel awful. We feel like we've failed you as managers." Nicky admits, frowning. I blink at her.
"What? No! Of course not! You guys got me here!" I exclaim.
"And you're not happy. We should have our client's best interest at heart and… I don't know if being here is yours." She mumbles.
"No, you've got it wrong. I'm appreciating the experience immensely. I'm loving a lot of it, especially the performances and seeing new places. It's just that…" I trail off, think about something Cat told me a long time ago. "It still holds meaning, but it would mean more to me if Cat were here to experience it with me."
"I get that. I'm sorry, kid. Wish we could do something to help." Nicky ruffles my hair. "It'll get easier. I promise."
"Thanks." I sigh.
"We're going to reach a truck stop soon, if you want to stretch your legs." Nicky suggests. "Or you can call Cat."
"She'd be in class right now. I think I'll just nap. I'm pretty tired from last night's show." I yawn.
"Alright. Let me know if you need anything. Please. Any excuse to get away from Vik for a bit. Working with him is one thing. Sharing a bus? He's even more like an annoying brother than before." Nicky scoffs, and I let out a chuckle.
"Alright, I'll keep you posted." I say. She nods and starts to walk away, but I stop her. "Hey Nicky… do you think… Cat and I and this kind of lifestyle… can it work?"
"That's up to you two, T. I'll tell you this – I never doubted you would crash her wedding. I never doubted she would run after you. I still don't doubt you two. I don't think I'll ever stop." She smirks, and then she heads to the back of the bus. I think about that. It's up to us…
Maybe that means giving this up for her. Is she worth it?
…Yeah. She's always worth it.
"Tori. Wake up." I'm shaken awake by Vik. Huh? I fell asleep? It only feels like a minute. Ugh I'm tired.
"Wh…what?" I mumble.
"Sorry to wake you, but we're at the truck stop." Vik explains.
"I told Nicky I wanted to nap." I mumble, rolling over.
"Okay, but I wanted to tell you there's a food truck selling gourmet grilled cheese." He states.
…
That sounds amazing.
"Okay, I'm up." I push myself out of the bunk.
"I knew that'd get your attention." He chuckles. I grab my purse and wobble out to the door, and push it open to the outside.
I'm immediately tackled by a whirlwind of vibrant, red-velvet hair.
Her arms squeeze around me tightly, her face buried into my neck. My body registers faster than my brain does, because my arms have already found their way around her, squeezing her just as tight. Completing our natural fit.
I'm not in Kansas City anymore, am I?
"C-Cat?" I gasp.
"Oh my god I missed you." She whimpers.
"Cat?!" I repeat, just as shocked as before.
"You better explain yourself before T's brain explodes." Nicky chuckles from behind Cat. Cat reluctantly pulls away and wipes her eyes.
"Right, sorry." She sniffs.
"Cat, I'm… I'm so happy to see you but… how?" I gape.
"I… I decided being away from you wasn't working for me. So I contacted Vik and Nicky to find out where you'd be so I could surprise you." Cat smiles. I turn to Vik, who's standing behind me with a goofy grin on his face.
"You knew about this?!" I smack him on the arm, and he laughs.
"You have no idea how hard it was to keep this a secret." Nicky grins.
"But Cat… what about school? Don't tell me you dropped out…" I frown. She shakes her head.
"That's the best part. You're my school now!" She proclaims. I stare at her.
"…Uh…" Nope I can't see how that possibly makes sense. She giggles at the look on my face.
"I talked to my professors. They agreed to let me follow you and film your tour experience as a final assignment. I still have to do things online like assignments and watch lectures and tutorials, though." She explains. "It's not as thorough and hands on as actually being in class but I get to be here with you, and that's the important part."
"But… Cat… are you sure?" I ask, concerned. That's… a big move on her part.
She wraps her arms around me, pulling me close. "Tori… you were right. This is about sacrifices. You're not in a position to do so, but… I am. And honestly, it doesn't seem like much of a sacrifice if it means I get to be with you. I'm happy with this. Trust me." She breathes.
"Cat…" I choke, and I pull her in for a long, satisfying kiss. Her soft, warm lips that I missed so much. Fuck, I missed three weeks of opportunities to kiss her. Time to make up for it. I was willing to give up everything for her, but now she's here and we all get what we want. If that's not a sign that this can work… I don't know what is.
She pulls away gently, resting her forehead to mine. "No matter what happens, we'll have each other. That's not going to change." Cat whispers. I nod, feeling tears sting my eyes.
"You know, I can probably delay the crew if you two want… some time to reconnect in the bus." Nicky winks. Vik gapes at her and then rolls his eyes.
"Really, Nicky? Reall-"
"Sure." I gasp.
"What? Seriously?" Vik exclaims.
"Yep." I state, grabbing Cat's hands and pushing Vik aside to get into the bus.
"Thank you, Nicky." Cat calls out before we shut the door. She pushes me back and kisses me passionately, our moans of longing mixing together and she's already practically ripping off my shirt.
This is what it's all about. It's what we've been doing all along. Overcoming almost impossible odds to be together. From that unlikely meeting with a supposed dead girl in the alley behind the diner, to that same girl finding me when we were so far apart. No matter what, we'll always beat those odds, because we won't let them beat us. It's our choice, and we choose to be together.
It's up to us.
Author's Notes: AH. This was probably the most emotional chapter for me to write out of all of Life After Death. I hate making them fight, but in this case it was an issue that definitely furthered them and and their relationship. Cori don't fight over stupid shit. Nuh uh. And now everything's worked out for them. Including Jade.
So... where do we go from here? I told you there's one more chapter, and there will be. It'll kind of be like a bonus chapter/epilogue thing. Like, this story is basically put in a box now. I just need to add the bow. Tell me what you thought! I love to hear your words. You all have beautiful words. Damnit, I told myself I wouldn't do an author's note while this tired again.
Fun Fact: I totally cried while writing the fight scene WHOOPS.
