Disclaimer: Nope.

Stephanie: I can sue you on copyright infringements.

No wonder I hate Mormons. Nope = Nope, don't own it. Note to self: Expand on everything for the mormom.

CA: I went a little dialogue happy, description blank in this chapter. Descriptions will return next chapter. Also, sorry for it taking so long to come out. I've been in a bit of a slump.

- OMG! I am so sorry for everything! I somehow screwed up and added the next chapter twice, this goes before "Please, tell me this is a joke". Again, to everyone reading, I am dreadfull sorry. This is my biggest mistake ever!

Chapter 10 - How could I forget?

Hell started even before I woke. But I only found out about that through second hand recount from Alice as she drove. Who knew for such a nice little car the thing touched on every pothole in the road, even with a vampire driving. I pulled that down to that Alice was trying to wake me up without touching me.

"So, ready to have fun?" She asked, grinning wickedly.

I lifted my eyelids slightly and looked at her. "Mmm." It was meant to be a 'no', but being sleepy and talking never really went well together. Alice took it as a 'yes' and actually squealed.

"Well, that's going to ruin some of my fun, but at least you can't run away now." She kept smirking as she looked down at the cast. It was all dry now, and itchy where it touched my skin. I reached down to scratch it but Alice grabbed my hand.

"No. Carlisle said you weren't allowed to scratch."

"It's itchy."

"You're being very blunt and to the point."

"I'm tired."

"Point proven." She murmured to herself and I rested my head against the window glass, trying to get back to sleep. I closed my eyes.

"Did Carlisle also tell you to obey the speed limit too?"

I smirked slightly as the car sped up. Apparently not. And apparently, it didn't matter, Alice only drove for a few more minutes and we were there, parked. Please, if ever I believed in a god, help me.

Alice opened the door.

They hate me. I just know it.

"Come on. Out you get." She leant in and unclicked the buckle, which happened to be the only thing holding me up. Alice stopped me from doing any damage to myself though as I fell out sideways. She pushed me back into a sitting position and I brushed the hair out of my eyes as she grabbed the crutches from the back seat, I groaned.

"Is it hurting?"

"No."

"Damn."

"Wow, pixie, don't sound too happy."

"I think I like you better on sugar."

My eyes lit up. Regardless of if I was asleep, dying, hell, even dead! Sugar was my calling.

"Sugar? CAKE!"

Alice recoiled at her words, and mine. "Maybe." There was no other way out of it for her, I smirked.

"So what are we doing today?" I swung my legs out of the car and allowed Alice to help me without finding some way to insult her. Besides, she was helping… maybe if I said I needed to go to the… no, that wouldn't work. Damn you Bella. Damn you Alice. Damn you god.

Alice started smiling. Damn it! Note to self: Never think of what to do around Alice. Note to self: Remember last note to self.

"What are you thinking now?"

"About how the world was started."

"What a lie."

"Okay, okay. I was thinking about Jasper naked."

Alice started growling deeply.

"JOKING!" I yelled, laughing at the same time.

Alice frowned and straightened up… had she just been about to attack me? Another note to self: Never mention anything about Jasper being naked… around Alice.

"Didn't take you long to get back to yourself."

"Sugar was mentioned. What do you expect?"

"You to fall over and start twitching in agony would work."

I giggled profusely. "Jane isn't here."

Alice gave me a strange look then and I started crutching to the sliding doors. Alice kept pace alongside.

"Couldn't Carlisle have gotten me a wheelchair or something?" I complained as both of us walked, or hobbled, into the cold air-conditioned mall.

"For someone else, yes. For you, he figured these were safer."

"I would be safe in a wheelchair!"

"Safer for the public." She elaborated.

I nodded slowly. I could see where they were coming from.

"So, what first?"

Alice wouldn't look at me at first. "Remember at the beach?"

"WHERE'S EDWARDO!" Several people around us stopped and looked at us, Alice frowned at me.

"The penguin is at home." I smirked at her stressed word. "But after that."

I looked at her blankly.

"You tripped me."

She rolled her eyes. "Right before that."

"NO! YOU CAN'T! HOW DID CARLISLE AGREE TO THIS?!"

I started moving backwards. Damn crutches, if only I was in a wheelchair. Alice smirked and kept right in front of my face.

"We've taken every precaution to keep the public safe. You, however, are not."

"This isn't funny!"

"Not to you."

I growled at her but she just smiled. Evil pixie.

"I will find a way midget, I will find a way." I glared at her but she just scooped me up, crutches and all, and walked into a nearby shop. Goddamn stupid vampire strength!

It took me a few moments to figure out just what kind of shop this was, and as soon as I did…

"NO! NONONONONONONO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" I threw a crutch at her, which she caught, and tried hopping out after dropping the other one.

"I like you with a broken leg." She giggled happily before her tone turned serious and she stood in front of me. I grabbed onto her shirt to keep myself from falling. "But now it's time for Lillian torture. And judging by the look of your clothes, I chose the right kind."

"Edward told you, didn't he!"

"No. I guessed."

I snarled at her and she put an arm around my waist, leading me back further into the shop of horror. I grabbed onto a rack nearby. "I WILL MAKE LIFE HELL FOR YOU!"

She just giggled and pried my fingers off the bar. "Not with a broken leg you won't."

… Only one way to do this. "I saw Jasper naked."

"Not going to work."

Fuck.

The shop person came up to us just as I was trying to climb over Alice's back.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm going to need a chair and some duct tape."

The shop person laughed uneasily. "There are chairs near the changing room, but we can't help with the tape."

"That's alright. Thank you."

Alice stepped around the assistant and walked over to the changing rooms. I was trying to reach out to the girl, as happy as she was. 'Help me!' I mouthed before Alice put me on the chair. If only it had wheels. She looked at me strictly. "Don't move." Alice looked at the crutches, then at me… she walked away with the crutches.

I looked away, trying to find some possible to way to escape this horrible breed of torture. I could fake sickness… or say my leg was hurting. I could always start crying as well…or scream that I didn't know her. I could also strip down and refuse to put my clothes back on… no, none of them would work. How long does it take for a leg to heal? I looked down at it and scowled. "This is all your fault."

"Actually, it's all your fault." Alice was back. "Maybe if you'd been nicer… and hadn't trashed my wardrobe, I wouldn't have to do this to you."

"I am not playing along."

"You don't have a choice."

"I'm self-conscious."
"Get over it."

"I CAN'T!"

"Too bad. I'm not leaving you, of all people, in a change room by yourself." She smiled. I frowned.

I closed my eyes and felt Alice lift me by my waist. "I CAN WALK!"

"No you can't." She giggled. I was going to murder Carlisle… or whoever agreed to this. Alice put all of the clothes down on the small seat and stood at the door. No escape.

"Try them on. They're all your size." I stayed staring at her. She didn't move. I blinked.

"We don't have all day."

"I know, the mall shuts at five."

"If you don't, I will."

"Be my guest, I don't like them anyway."

Alice stepped closer to me. Her eyes lit up with evil… that same brand of evil she'd had swimming in them on the beach. This was not going to be good.

"You can either keep your clothes, or you'll walk out of this mall wearing the frilliest, girliest dress I can find." Her voice was slow, promising, and she was smiling at the same time. Pure. Evil.

I pulled my shirt off quickly.

She raised an eyebrow.

"I hate you."

"Good." She took a step back.

"And the mall still closes at five. I can walk out of here shirtless, I don't mind."

Alice stepped forward again, grabbed one of the dresses she'd picked out and stepped back, blocking the door for the three seconds it took her to sort out the material. Then she advanced again.

I screamed.

She put a hand over my mouth and leant in closely. "You just chose your fate."

I screamed a muffled NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. She didn't seem to care.

"I thought you would have made this slightly more interesting… but this is still fun."

Alice tugged the dress down over my head and I glared at her.

"Teal isn't really your color is it?"

I still glared at her.

"Nope. Take it off."

It took less than a second. Alice had already sorted out the teal colored dresses and put them outside, there was still a mountain left.

Before I had time to think, another dress was over my head.

The glaring and dress trying on only lasted about five minutes. But it was five minutes of pure hell. We must have gone through over 200 dresses, even with her getting rid of some at random intervals. Apparently 'my' colors consisted of pinks, blues, greens, yellows and purples. Everything else had been deemed the "wrong season" or "wouldn't match" or "why must you be so pale, it's like dressing Rosalie". The last of which I found very offensive and threw a dress at Alice for. Where were the crow bars when you really needed them? After the torturous five minutes, Alice picked up the dresses she'd deemed appropriate for me and paid for them, leaving me to hobble after her, back in my clothes. That, however, wasn't the end of my torture. Luckily, it was only another three hours until she said we were going home. It was twelve. And now, I was wearing a bright yellow, ruffled, puffed arm ankle length dress that I'd tripped on fourteen times already. Alice had held true to her promise.

"I refuse to leave like this."

"You're going back in that." She said with a smile. Always smiling today. She must be holding about a hundred bags right now.

"Why? Why me?"

"Rhetorical?"

"Absolutely." I said dully and hobbled out to Alice's nice yellow Porsche. Oh she'd pay… and I had the perfect plan. DONUTS!

Yes yes, I know. It got boring. But Alice had to have some torture time! She's only the second softest vampire in the Cullen troupe. Esme being the first. And besides, I had fun with the dialogue.

And as to my reference about hating Mormons, I really only hate one church of Mormons… and Stephanie Meyer, the rest of them (you, f you're a mormon and reading this (though I don't know why would be since I swear so often and don't chastise underage drinking)) seem to just leave me alone in peace to do what I will with my life. Thanks.

Happy reading.