Hi everyone! This'll be the final update of Construct here. I'll be moving Construct and a bunch of my other fics to Archive Of Our Own. My username there is TuonelianTerror. It'll be a long process, so I'll be keeping Construct here until the final move. Thanks everyone!
Chapter 11: Butterfly
"The Asakura have begun their march..."
Father's words rang through my mind over and over again. So much for the small reprise we've had here at Azuchi. The late night talks with Takakage, the chats over tea with Nagamasa...we were at war once again.
My blood boiled, sang.
I spent the next few days in the training room, honing my skills. My reaction time became faster, my slashes and stabs harder. Takakage leaned on the door frame as I ran through the obstacle course Nagahide designed for me. Every day that I ran through it, my time became smaller and smaller.
Perfect.
I wiped the sweat off my brow when Takakage approached me with a smile.
"You're terrifying." he said, taking the towel away from me, and giving me a new one. I wiped more sweat off my body and once again, he opted to carry it. Instead, I put the towel around my neck and looked into his eyes. They were both full of concern and..something I couldn't pinpoint.
I didn't like that.
He's a strategist, but he's not our strategist. I need to know what was on his mind all the time, should the need arise to cut him down.
"That's how I want to be." I said, keeping my eyes locked on his. Together, we walked through the halls of the castle. My attire...perhaps questionable; I wore a pair of pants and a shirt cut at the midriff and bosom, a shirt designed for training and exercise, while he wore his blue kimono. People were looking at us, I cared not. There's nothing to talk about. We kept a respectable distance from each other despite it all.
"Come upstairs." I said to Takakage before he turned, ready to go downstairs to his room.
The room I designed for him.
"U-upstairs?" he asked. "Do you mean...?"
"Yes." I replied.
"I couldn't possibly...that room isn't..-" he began. "It's fine, Takakage, really. Please don't assume the worst of me. I just want you to make sure I don't fall over. I'm actually really exhausted." I replied. In all actuality, it was so that I could still keep an eye on him. If I had to fake tiredness and allow him to enter my sacred bedroom, then so be it. We were at war, I had to play by his game.
I could tell how nervous and scared he was following me on the trek to my bedroom. It was like his feet were cemented to the floor. "You act as though my room is a torture chamber.." I said with a smirk when we came to the door. "I..it's just...you're the Princess, this isn't a place where a man like me should be in." he said, his trembling hand clenched to his side as I began to slide the door open.
"Takakage. Please, come in." I said, as I walked in.
He stood in the doorway.
"Takakage." I said, looking into his eyes.
He was still frozen in the door way, his eyes taking in all the darkness around the room.
I waited one more second, when I began to approach him. Grasping his wrists, I tried to drag him in, only for him to quickly retract my grip, like it was on fire. I grabbed at him again, pulling him in, towards me.
But my grip was too strong. I began to wobble-maybe I really was tired.
Takakage barreled into me.
Wrapping his arms around my waist to break my fall, his face planted into my bosom and we both hit the floor, closing the door behind us.
We were stuck in that position.
I looked up, into the terror and fright in Takakage's eyes. His hair fell into my face, and I sniffled, the ends making me itch and tickle. He was so close, I could feel his heart beat, his warm breath in my chest. His hands grasping at the skin he felt in my back.
His shaking hands.
"M-Princess..." he gasped.
"Oh god..." he muttered, rising his face, looking into my eyes.
At our closeness.
His body attached to mine.
I could feel his entire body, his thin frame over mine. His rapid heartbeat and shallow breathing...
Quickly, he removed his hands from my back and put them over my head, inadvertently sliding his body over mine. I inwardly gasped at the sheer feel of him over me. Skinny or not, I could feel that definition over my body..I grew warm from the sensation.
It wasn't like Tadakatsu. Or Keiji.
Takakage had a body purely of his own.
Pure.
That's the way it should stay.
And yet, I couldn't find the strength to pull him off.
We looked into each other's eyes with a tenderness, and breathless. I didn't want to push him away. No, I wanted to stay here, where it was safe, where there was no war, where we could simply be human. Kids, even.
"Princess...I'm sorry." he stammered. I reached up and smoothed his hair back, as the ends were getting irritating against my face. His eyes were dilated, scared, beads of sweat formed on his brows. He was so close, so close that I could feel him, smell the salty sea, read every expression in his eyes, watch the red form deeper in his pale cheeks.
"Can we...?" the words died in my throat.
Stay here...
"Takakage.." I muttered, suddenly holding him close.
He flinched.
My right hand was against his cheek, and my other hand was on his back. Silently stroking. Perhaps I didn't even know it.
He flinched again, trying to back away like he was burned.
"This isn't...we shouldn't.." he said, trying his best to convince himself to leave. I didn't want him to. I wanted to keep him close, if only to protect the clan. This wasn't...couldn't be simply about me. If I let him run to Father, would he cut him down?
"What do you want, Takakage? Are you fighting with us against the Asakura?" I asked.
He breathed. More like a sigh.
"After all this, you want to talk about war.." he said. "There isn't room to discuss anything else. I won't let you go until you tell me." I growled. The look on my face turned dangerous. I almost lifted my thighs to keep him in place.
He felt the rise in them, and quickly grasped them, pinning me to the floor.
His tone suddenly turned dangerous as well.
"You would seduce me then...is that what you mean to say?" he asked. "Seduce? Hardly. I can't read you and I don't like it. If I let you go, you'd find a way to kill my father. Destroy the Oda from within like you were always meant to." I said coldly.
"If you knew that was my end goal, why do you keep me here?" he asked. His hands were still on my thighs, and I could feel him pressing flush against me.
He was aroused.
I tried to ignore it.
Instead, I put my arms around his neck.
Squeezing.
I tried to choke the sides of his neck with my forearms until he spoke. He coughed and choked, his face suddenly turning red. My grip only got harder. "Let go of me, and I'll let go of you.." I snapped. His hands suddenly left my thighs, completely surrendering, and I let go of him as well.
"My god.." he said, after breathing in and breathing out deeply. Despite my letting him go, my dark glare didn't leave. "That felt...amazing." he said.
I froze.
"No wonder Lord Nobunaga loves you so much. You have such a way of choking.." he said. He wore a dark smirk, and I looked at him like he was crazy. "Is that what you like?" I asked.
He was silent.
"Takakage...?" I asked.
He breathed a deep breath. "Yes."
"So the sunny innocent boy of the Mouri has a few of his own...kinks." I said, trying to stifle a laugh. He turned a flushed red, and I allowed myself to grasp his throat, running my nails down it. "So be it.." I whispered,"this is mine. This throat is mine."
He closed his eyes, the sensation of sharp nails over his flesh sending a shudder down his spine. This wasn't like when Motoharu choked him back home, this was far different...but it wasn't something he was about to explain.
The things he did with Motoharu...they weren't things he was ready to talk about. It didn't go far beyond being held and embraced, choked during wrestling bouts that he came to love all because they were things that reminded him of him.
Motonari put a stop to their dalliances.
People began to talk about them.
He couldn't risk anything to his rule, and so he sent Motoharu to the Kikkawa clan. To make them submit, but to keep the brothers as apart as possible.
What he couldn't tell was that Kikkawa Motoharu said the same thing about his throat. That it belonged to him and no one else. That Motoharu wanted to hold on to Takakage as much, as strongly as possible. The three-Takamoto, Motoharu and Takakage- were together in battle protecting the Mouri, but were told to keep a considerable distance.
After the battle, Motoharu returned home, away from his brother's arms.
"Something wrong?" I asked, when I noticed him looking away,"oh. I suppose you want a tour of this room. It's really simple, honestly. It's dark. There's a bed there, there's a sofa there with luxurious pillows because I have a bad back, a vanity mirror which I've broken, glass all over it...my weapons on the wall over there, and-"
"No windows?" he asked.
"Nope. That's a disaster waiting to happen.." I said with a smirk. "Afraid you'll jump?" he asked. "Yeah." I said with a short breath. "I lose my mind, Takakage, I forget everyone and everything around me and only care about myself and my satisfaction...looking for a temporary release..." "Then it becomes a permanent solution..." he muttered.
"And who would protect my Father? The Oda?" I asked, closing my eyes in shame.
"You'd think everyone is here in the Oda to do just that. To further his ambition, but what about their true desires? What about protecting themselves? When it comes to me, that desire...do you think I not notice how the men in this castle look at me? The Maedas...Toshiie is newly single after losing his wife a year ago, Keiji...well, we're all aware of that...Ujisato is the biggest creep of all...Mitsuhide, he's sleeping with my dad...but I'm not fucking stupid..." I added.
He closed his eyes sadly.
"Why do you keep Keiji around then?" he asked. "He wasn't always like this..." I said, biting my lip. He finally got off of me, and we made our way to my bed. I sat on the edge, and he sat on the floor, laying his back on my bed. "Keiji is the strongest, toughest son of a bitch that I've ever known. That's why. He's great protection. Before, when we knew nothing about each other...when all we were were vessels of protection...I miss that time, and I guess I'm foolish to think it would ever return. Tadakatsu happened, and he felt that was the only way to comfort me was by acting like this."
He looked away in sadness.
"I get it. But at the same time-"
I shook my head. "I can't lose his protection. He's a vital part of our army..." "You don't have to make excuses for him." he argued. "It's not that serious. Can we drop this conversation? I need to keep him close to ensure my survival, to ensure Father's survival. You think anyone here is loyal to him? That there isn't anyone in this castle willing to cut him down if given the chance? If I'm alive, I can stop them. Keiji ensures I survive in battle, I don't care what I have to endure."
Takakage could only look at me like I was crazy.
"I can protect you." he said.
"You can't even throw a single punch." I challenged, crossing my arms. He leaned back against my legs and said,"I don't care. You don't have to suffer just because of someone else's life...even if I'm not physically able, I can make sure you don't fall into traps, a strategic mind and a powerful body, we can work together."
"So this means you'll be joining us against the Asakura.." I said, not as a question, but as a fact.
"Yes. I'll stand by your side." he replied.
"Well...not what I was asking, but whatever. Just don't get yourself killed." I said, rolling my eyes.
He...was right about Keiji, however. It wasn't like I could just push him away...but it wasn't like I wanted his attention either. We had crossed the line the day he first kissed me, when he held me and his wandering hands went lower than they should have. We almost had sex that night, had Toshiie not had a near death experience.
I suppose for that, I could praise Hideyoshi.
Takakage and I were silent inside this room, and I took that opportunity to place my head at my pillow. I needed Keiji's strength for this war, I didn't need his emotional baggage. But Takakage promised to protect me. Foolishness...
"Did you fall asleep?" he asked, breaking the comfortable silence.
"Not on your life." I replied, taking the second pillow underneath me, hitting him with it. "Hey!" he yelled, his laughter lighting up my room. I passed him a pillow, and we began a tough, strong, hard pillow fight.
The fight ended with me on top of him, giggling and leaving one more slam against his face for good measure.
"I miss this." he said, when I helped him up, placing my pillows on my bed. "Sorry? I don't believe we ever fought like this.." I said, raising an eyebrow.
"No, I meant..just being a kid for a few minutes...Motoharu and I fought like this often as children.." he said, slamming his hand over his mouth like he had said something taboo.
I noticed he mentioned Motoharu a lot...
I was curious. And the way he slammed his hand over his mouth...like a word he wasn't supposed to say.
"Takakage...can you...tell me about Motoharu?" I asked.
It wasn't my business, forgive me, but I was curious. I needed to know about the one who took Kobayakawa Takakage's heart.
He smiled, his smile was so blinding and warm. So much that it brought light into my room.
But before he could speak, there was a knock at my door.
Quickly, I hid Takakage in the darkness and came to my door, to find Toshiie there. "Toshiie.." I said, looking him up and down. He was casually dressed, wearing only a long sleeve yutaka top with what looked like shorts in this summer heat. "I..I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your sleep.." he said, looking at my outfit. "I wasn't sleeping...I was training and I came up here to change.." I replied,"were you training?"
"Yeah...Ranmaru and I had a sparring match outside in the garden. I hit him a little too hard and now he's resting in his room. He's protesting, of course, but well, you know how he is." he replied. "Of course..." I repeated. "Anyway...I came here because I couldn't find Keiji, and I wanted to ask you." he replied.
My expression changed. But I made sure to not let Toshiie see it. After what Takakage and I just discussed...
"I'm sorry, I have no idea where he is." I said,"now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to take a rest..." "Yes, that's fine. I'm sorry to bother you, Miya." Toshiie said, turning and leaving. I closed the door, and took a deep breath, suddenly noticing how bad I smelled from sweat and exertion.
Takakage was on top of me...if he noticed, he didn't say anything.
"I'm going to take a bath.." I muttered, grabbing a purple kimono, walking out of the room. Takakage followed, and we went towards the bath houses. "This is where we part, Princess. I would not feel comfortable coming in with you." he said. "You better not come in, I might have to kill you." I said with a wink.
Before he could reply, the door opened, and out came Kicho.
I gasped, as did Takakage, who had nowhere to run.
The steam cleared out, and suddenly, her predatory eyes were on us-me. Then to him.
She waited to speak, but the words were in those eyes and her now turned up lips.
"I..was just...uh leaving.." Takakage said, before Kicho said,"Wait right there, Takakage.", freezing him in his tracks. I was suddenly frozen, my mouth gaping, heart beating so fast, I was afraid it would extract from me.
"Keeping my daughter safe from all the castle creeps on her way to the baths...how thoughtful of you.." she finally said, giving a look that made Takakage flush. "Daughter..." I muttered incredulously. She nodded, and Takakage walked away. I said nothing and pushed past her, into the baths.
She followed me, and closed the door, causing a shiver to come down my spine.
"Miya..." she all but cooed. I soaked, pretending to not hear her over all the water I dumped over myself. I leaned back in the bath, allowing the steam to conceal myself. But unfortunately, she circled the tub, running her delicate hand over the wooden structure.
I watched the hand, my heart beating, breath leaving me in trepidation as the hand got closer, and closer,
until..
I grasped the hand before it could touch me.
"What the hell do you want?" I demanded, my grip tightening.
Her breath hitched.
I rose from the tub, unashamed of my nudity, wanting to show her all the scars she gave me, forcing her to etch them into her mind the way she etched them into my flesh.
"Don't pretend you suddenly care...I haven't forgotten anything you've done to me, you vile snake." I said coldly.
I had expected a witty comeback. Or at least a few words.
Instead, it was all silence. Her eyes betrayed her, allowing them to be downcast in sorrow.
"I screwed up." she finally said, whispering.
In this small room, her voice so loud.
"I wanted to hurt you so badly, I was angry, jealous, I wanted to punish you for what you had done to the clan..." she said quietly. "I would have gotten us all killed, I know...what I sacrificed to be with that man.." I replied, still holding onto her hand.
She quickly twisted it, to my surprise, and her fingers linked with mine.
"Scarred or not, Miya, you're beautiful. And I should have seen it. Should have realized it. Should have..."
She stopped.
My grip on her loosened. I didn't want to hear this.
"I should have loved you the way he did."
Her voice was louder, her eyes desperate as they looked into mine.
I was taken aback, Kicho was always a well-kept, upright woman, but now...so...I couldn't describe it. I looked away, away from the eyes that sunk deep into my soul. She was a snake, a viper, a temptress, a black widow who could swallow you whole, but now, she was a woman, a deeply remorseful woman. A woman at her most human, not a demon bride, instead, a woman...
I weighed my options. I could push her away, I could threaten her life, threaten to keep her away from me, say one word that could get rid of her forever, or kill her myself. I had to be careful, this woman nearly killed me, destroyed me, saw me at my most vulnerable. Used it against me, tore me down and left me to die...
It wasn't too late. Not too late to love, perhaps. Love was too strong a word, too strong an emotion anyway. Who needed it when all it did was destroy you..
I was always meant to be alone. Back home, and now here. Takakage didn't love me, Tadakatsu didn't either.
Simply, I nodded at her, but I didn't release her hand...what could I say? What should I say? Words that should have never been said between us. If anything, I would have rathered if she ignored it. Ignored us.
Perhaps the threat of war is bothering her, too.
Finally, I gently let go of her hand, allowing her to take it back. A silent truce, for now. I knew to be better than that, but like others, I'd keep her at a distance as well.
Silently, she walked out of the room, her heels clicking against the wooden floor.
And I was all alone...
"Lord Nagamasa..."
Oichi questioned. The two had made their way to Odani Castle, leaving from Azuchi a few days ago. Nagamasa stayed in his room often, not speaking to his retainers, nor his wife, just staring into the distance, towards Azuchi.
His marriage to Oichi was purely a political one. He was well aware of her time with Shibata Katsuie, the man who had taken her heart before they had met. He knew Endo Naotsune opposed said marriage. His father, Hisamasa, who sat quietly in the corner, no one knew for sure.
"Oichi..." Nagamasa said, turning towards her. She walked up to him, her hands over her heart in support and a silent prayer. "You don't come downstairs anymore. You don't talk to us. Takatora is worried..."
"Takatora.." he sighed.
"Yes, Takatora. He asks me every day about you. Wondering when you'll come downstairs and speak to him. Is there anything wrong, what troubles you? I am your wife, my lord, you can tell me anything."
She could see, feel Hisamasa's eyes upon her in caution, a silent warning to stop talking. She put her head down and turned to leave. "Oichi, wait." Nagamasa called out. She stopped at the doorway, looking back at him. "Please tell Takatora I will be joining him for tea later."
"Of course, Lord Nagamasa.." she said with a hopeful smile, and left the room.
Nagamasa sighed and turned to his father, who rose up from his kneeling spot, approaching him. He expected to be shouted at, scorned, but instead, Hisamasa placed a gentle hand on his head.
"You are conflicted, my son.." he said quietly, his voice barely a whisper. "Would you expect me not to be?" he questioned, cringing, should his father strike him. It wasn't like he was above parental abuse. It's how Nagamasa came to power. Hisamasa often beat him from time to time in his adolescent years. Even now that Nagamasa was the lord of the Asai, he was still very much a puppet in his father's strings.
Instead, Hisamasa only gave him a smile..
