Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter


Chapter 11: Monsters And Demons

Darkness and fire filled Hailey's world. Everything hurt. Just breathing was difficult. With great effort, she opened her eyes. She was on a couch. It took her a moment to remember what had happened. Snape had tried to break the barrier.

'He said he wouldn't do it again,' she thought bitterly. 'Yet here I am.'

Hailey pulled herself onto her feet. She had jut enough strength to stay upright. Slowly, she took a few steps toward Snape's office. If he was still awake, she needed to talk to him.

She steadied herself in the doorway. "Snape," she growled.

The potion master was sitting at his desk. Upon hearing his name, he looked up. "Good evening, Hailey," he said a little too casually.

"What the bloody-"

"I know you're mad," Snape interupted. "I would be to."

"Yes, I'm mad!" Hailey seethed. "What- what did you do to me?"

Snape stood and walked towards Hailey. He took her arm and helped her walk to the chair at his desk. She leaned against the table for support as he walked back around and sat again. "I tried to break the barrier. Your mind refused to give me its secrets."

"Do you think there's a reason for that, sir?" she spat bitterly.

"That barrier in your mind is making it harder for you to occlude," Snape argued firmly. "It's sapping your strength."

Hailey sighed. All the fight left her. "Isn't there an easier way to break the shield?" she asked.

Snape shook his head sadly. Hailey buried her face in her hands. She was suprised by the hot tears that fell from her eyes. She knew exactly what demons he was going to find in her mind. "I can't go back," Hailey said, her voice breaking.

"I would never let you be sent back to your relatives," Snape swore.

"That's not what I meant," Hailey said, looking up. "I can't go back to my past; to those memories you're going to find."

Snape reached out and gently touched her arm. "We don't have to tonight. But if the monsters inside are too much to bear, you shouldn't try to bear them alone."

"I've never had anyone else," Hailey said softly, moving her arm away. "I could never tell Ridley. Not after all she did for me. She couldn't protect me all the time. I had to take some of the abuse myself."

"You have so many people who love you," Snape said. "Now, you have me too."

Hailey opened her mouth to argue when an empty bottle caught her eye. Up until then, she had been grateful for his kindness. It was never real. The smell of his breath was faint, but still there. "How long was I out?" she asked, her voice hardening.

"A few hours," Snape said.

"Did you drink that after I passed out?" Hailey asked angrily.

"Don't be mad," Snape said quickly.

"How much did you drink? You're going to hurt somebody," she accused. "None of what you're saying means anything to you. Its the drink talking."

"Hailey, please-"

Hailey stood. Her strength was returning. "Goodnight, sir."


Ridley's eyes shot open when she heard Hailey's door open. "She was at Occlumency," she whispered to herself. "She's okay." It seemed Ridley couldn't shake the habit of sleeping with one eye open.

She walked silently to the door and listened. She could barely make out the sound of muffled cries. Gently, she slid the door open and crossed the bathroom to her sister's room. "Hailey?" she whispered. "Is everything okay?"

There was a soft sniffle. "Yes," Hailey said softly. "Go back to sleep."

Ridley could tell by her voice that she was upset, so she sat down on the edge of her bed. "Don't lie to me," she said.

"I'm just exhausted and worried," Hailey said, wiping her eyes. "The memories that keep coming up are terrible. And I know Snape has to go deeper."

"I know you can block it," Ridley said. "I've blocked my own, after all this time."

"That's the thing," Hailey said sadly. "All my energy's gone into blocking the most unpleasant things, and I can't focus on Occluding."

Ridley scooted closer to Hailey. She reached out and brushed hair out of her sister's face. Hailey flinched under her touch. It was slight, but still noticeable. "Hailey, what's wrong?" she asked firmly. "Are you sure Snape isn't doing anything to you."

"I have monsters too, Ridley," Hailey said, raising her voice slightly. "You couldn't always protect me."

Ridley felt a pang in her heart. "What did they do?" she asked.

"I mustn't tell," Hailey murmured.

"We are safe now," Ridley insisted.

"I can't. It hurts me too much. Please, Ridley, I just need to go to sleep."

"Okay," Ridley agreed. "Sweet dreams."

Instead of going back to her bed, Ridley decided to take a walk around the manor. She figured if Snape just got done with Occlumency, he wouldn't have the time to drink.

She crept quietly down the stairs, watching for any broken bottles. Her socks almost slid on the tile. Ridley threw out her arms to balance herself. She took her socks off and felt the tile with her feet.

She walked through the kitchen and let the sweet scents comfort her. The kitchen had always been one of her favorite places. She didn't know why.

"Isn't it a little late to be eating?" a voice growled from the doorway.

Ridley had assumed Snape would be sober. She was very wrong. The smell was almost overpowering. "I'm sorry, sir," she said quickly. "I was just walking."

"Walking?" Snape growled.

"Please, sir. I couldn't sleep," Ridley said quietly. Her fists were clenched at her sides. She dropped her eyes, fearing for her safety.

"Potters," Snape grumbled. "Always thinking they own the place. You're no different from your father." He wheezed violently.

"At least you recognize me," Ridley muttered. "Were you this drunk when you were teaching Hailey?"

"You would accuse me of such irresponsibility?" he snapped.

Suddenly finding her courage, Ridley looked straight into his eyes and glared. "Don't you dare lay a finger on my sister," she hissed.

Snape took a few steps closer. "You- foolish child! You've always thought you could have your own way! You bully people into-"

He broke off suddenly. Snape glared at her for a moment. "Are you confusing me with James again?"

At the mention of her father, Snape tensed up. He raised his hand and backhanded Ridley across the face. She hadn't seen it coming. She let out a yelp of suprise and stumbled backwards, holding her cheek.

Snape's momentum carried him forward until he crashed onto the ground. He was out. "Serves you right," Ridley growled. She pushed him onto his side and stared into his face. He looked so much older than she knew he was.

"I know you're a good person," Ridley said finally. "I know this violence isn't the real you. And I forgive you."

As she started to walk away, she paused and looked back. "But that doesn't mean I can trust you anymore."

Ridley ran up to her room and crashed into her bed. She held her pillow tightly, trying to remember how to cry. For the hundredth time, she questioned her role in life. "Why me?" she whispered to herself. "Why was I chosen to put up with all of this? Must I always sacrifice my own happiness for more important things?"

Her demons were rarely active anymore. She had built up so many walls, but all it took was the pain caused by someone she thought she could trust to tear them down.


Severus awoke in his bed. He remembered stumbling and crashing onto the kitchen floor late last night. He tried to remember if anything else happened, but he couldn't. What else would happen?

Severus drank his potions and ate breakfast in silence. He figured Hailey would come down late, but he was suprised that he hadn't seen Ridley yet.

Hailey came down late in the morning. Lia fawned over her excitedly. Like Severus, she could sense her dark mood and wanted to help.

Ridley came down about ten minutes after her sister. If possible, her mood seemed even darker. Severus watched in silence as Lia served her.

With her socks off, Severus walked around to check for bruises on Ridley's feet. He was startled to find many scrapes on the bottoms. "Ridley, what happened to your feet?" he asked.

Ridley lowered her face. He couldn't see her under the curtain of hair. "I hardly remember how I get my injuries anymore, sir," she said quietly.

It seemed Lupin was right about the girl. "You are unhappy?" Severus asked.

"I'm happy, sir," she said softly. She brushed the hair out of her face and continued eating. Severus couldn't help but notice the dark circles under her eyes that Hailey lacked.

He instructed Lia take care of the girls for a while. He went quietly into his study and flooed the Headmaster's office.

Albus was sitting at his desk, writing on a piece of parchment. "Severus, my dear boy," he said. "Please, have a seat."

"Albus," Severus began. "I desperately need your help with these girls."

Albus set down his quill. He put up a silencing charm. "Don't want the ministry listening in," he said. "What is it you need, Severus?"

"First off, Hailey is suppressing memories, making it near impossible for her to Occlude. She has demons greater than I thought."

"Severus," Albus sighed. "I know you won't like what I have to say, but keep in mind that Hailey won't like dealing with those memories." He paused. "She needs someone who has been where she has been."

"You- you want me to tell her?" Severus asked, incredulous.

Albus nodded. "I know it would help her greatly."

"I'll do it," Severus agreed. "But she's been through darker things than me."

"Hailey is stronger than you think, and so brave."

"Next is Ridley," Severus said. "She is growing unhappier by the hour, and it is only the third day. She's become withdrawn."

"It is all defensive," Albus said. "She is terrified. I know you can reach her with kindness."

"Albus, what if I can't?"

"Severus, I believe you are the only person who really can."