A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry for such a delay between chapters. I have a pretty good excuse though. I had quite the weekend and on Saturday, my husband and I found out that we are going to be adopting a baby! We've been trying for about six years now to have one and adoption was never ideal for us due to the money. As fate would have it, someone we know has a friend who is 16 and just discovered she is pregnant and doesn't have the means to raise them. So, they've asked us to adopt! I am SO excited. We aren't sure when she'll be due or not yet but we're going this week to find out. Needless to say, there might be some good amounts of time between chapters once the baby comes. I apologize now for this ahead of time.
Anyway, here is the next chapter. I think you will like it. I fought with what I wanted to do with it for a while now and hopefully you guys will like where I went with it. :)
11.
It was a very long two days in the hospital. Even though I was awake and felt sort of okay, the doctor didn't want me to rush out of there too soon. Either he thought I was going to collapse again or that I would go chug a liquor store as soon as I stepped off the property. I supposed I would believe the same thing if I were in his shoes. Especially since the thought of leaving the hospital was a bit scary for me. As much as I wanted out of here, it meant facing the biggest challenge I ever have so far and that shit scared the hell out of me. But when the doctor came in Friday morning, he told me I would be heading out the door by noon that day.
Tommy stayed with me pretty much the entire time I was in the hospital. Even after I practically begged him to leave the first night, the nurse told me he was sleeping in the waiting room right across the hall. I finally convinced him to take the cot they had offered him and he set it up in the other corner across from me. With all the time we spent together, there wasn't much talking done. Instead, we watched television or played board games that were missing pieces from them. It was easier that way. We might have said simple small talk topics like the weather or what was going on in town that day. That was it though. I liked it that way. We skirted around the topic of what was going on with me and thankfully, what was going on between us. Not that there was an us to even discuss. That was as dead as my liver was more than likely.
Tommy helped me load up all of the 'Get Well Soon' crap I had managed to collect in my four days of being in the hospital. I made him pop the balloons and I folded them up into one of the bags a teddy bear had come in from Al's wife. There was a talk stack of cards, flowers in five different vases and three stuffed animals all crammed into a giant clear garbage bag. Tommy carefully heaved it over his shoulder and carried it out to his car which was waiting in the discharge lot outside. I sat on the edge of my bed and looked around, making sure I had grabbed everything. I had changed from the hospital gown into dark grey sweats and a black tank top. It was nearing 90 degrees outside, the air conditioning of the hospital making it seem unreal that that could even be happening. I had also managed a real shower this morning, my hair pulled back into a braid over my shoulder. I thought about my baht tub at home and how I couldn't wait to soak in it later tonight.
After a long, long, LONG talk with the group, I've made the decision to go to the outpatient rehab facility here in Miami. I know I had said when talking to all of my friends that I wanted to go. At the time, I did. The intervention and my collapse fucking scared the shit out of me. I was ashamed of my actions that night in the bar. But now in the light of day, I knew deep down I didn't want to go. I didn't want to give up drinking because I like drinking. It helped me deal with everything so far. Yeah, it might not be conventional in all parts of the word but I was still managing to function. I held a job, an apartment, and made sure my bills were all paid on time. I was a functioning alcoholic. What was wrong with that? Everything apparently. And even though I didn't want to go, I had agreed to have Hank drive me there tomorrow morning. Joey wanted to take me but we had a delivery coming to the bar and he needed to be there to sign for it.
"All set?" Tommy asked, walking back into the hospital room. I nodded, giving him a small smile as I stood up.
"I think so. The nurse has to push me out though."
"Right. Let me track her down." He disappeared into the hallway, glancing around for a nurse. He eventually did find one and soon, I found myself being wheeled out of the front door of the hospital. The weather man was not lying about the temperature. It hit me like a wet hot towel in the face as soon as the doors opened. I spotted Tommy's truck running idle in front of the building and he ran over to open the passenger side door for me. The medical intern who had run me out side pushed the chair over to the door and locked it. The kid had to be about 20, his face resembling that of a seventh grader. He held out his arm and allowed me to take it as I stood from the chair. Tommy stood on my other side, holding the small of my back like I was going to break at any moment. I wished I could smack their hands away but I didn't. After hitting Tommy in the head with a bar glass, he didn't deserve that.
"Take care!" The intern called as Tommy shut the door of the truck once I was inside. The guy gave a little wave before folding up the chair and zipping into the front doors again. Tommy double checked to make sure the door on my side was shut before jogging over to his side. He climbed in, pulling his seat belt on before pulling off the curb and towards the exit of the parking lot.
"What do you suppose it's like?" I asked, gazing out my window.
"What?" He replied.
"Rehab. Do you think it's like those places on TV? Where they announce their name and they say it back. Like 'Hi, I'm Kimberly. I've been sober for thirty seconds' and they go 'Hi, Kimberly.' God, I hope not."
"I don't think it is. I think it's just mostly one on one counseling and then group sessions for the ones who are ready for it." He stated, flipping his directional signal on to show he would be turning left off the highway. "You're still going tomorrow, right?"
"I said I would go. I'm going." I shot back, trying my best not to glare at him. A dull ache was growing in the back of my skull and I was doing my best to wish it away. It wasn't working though.
"Good. I'm glad. I know it won't be easy for you but I know you can do anything you put your mind to. I've also decided to stay out here until the end of summer. With school being on break, I really don't have much to do until the beginning of September anyway." I shifted in my seat to look at him.
"Tommy, you don't need to relocate your life down here. I'll be fine. I have everyone here to help me."
"I know. I want to stay though. It's no trouble. I've always wanted to take a vacation. Here's my chance."
"Some vacation this will be." I mumbled. I could tell he didn't hear me though as he didn't respond. Crossing my arms, I sighed and leaned back into the seat of the truck. How could I tell him that he was one of the main reasons I started drinking in the first place? It wasn't like he made me do it but he was part of it. I didn't think it'd go over to well. If he stayed here, he just might realize it though. I couldn't live with that kind of guilt sober. That just didn't seem fair.
It didn't take long for Tommy to pull into my drive way. It was a hazy July afternoon, the soon approaching August blazing into the air. He hopped out of the truck to open my door but I beat him to it. I was out and standing on the pavement before he even rounded the back of the vehicle. The bummed look on his face didn't go unnoticed though I didn't say anything. I wasn't broken or ill. He didn't need to carry me to the front door for fuck's sake. He did grab the back of presents from the car and I put my bag of clothing over my shoulder before heading to the front door. To my surprise, my mailbox wasn't over flowing with mail like I had suspected. It suddenly dawned on me that Tommy or Joey could have been coming to make sure things here were fine while I was in the hospital. More than likely, it was Joey. I didn't see Tommy leave my side for more than ten minutes at a time and it was a good half an hour trip from the hospital to here. I wanted to groan at the idea of my boss taking care of yet another thing in my life. If guilt could be converted to dollars, I'd have enough money where my drinking problem wouldn't seem that bad.
"I can't promise how clean it is in here." I said, unlocking the door with my keys. It took a minute to open, the reminder that I needed to have Joey come fix my lock hitting me. The door finally swung open and I was met with my apartment. Luckily, it wasn't too much of a mess. That was considering the fact my bender started here. Sure, there were empty liquor bottles every where on the counter but it didn't look like a tornado hit the place. I stepped inside, holding the door open for Tommy as he hauled everything in. Carefully, he set the bag down and placed the flowers in the empty space on my counters. I shut the door and made quick work of turning on the dinky air conditioner in my window. It wasn't much but it did it's job for the most part to cool down my apartment. It hummed as it turned on, the glass in the window pane above it rattling. I tossed my bag of clothes up the hall towards my room and turned to face Tommy. His eyes were lingering on the empty bottles that were sitting every where. A few had a little bit of substance left in them. I'll admit that I ached inside to drink them dry. I bit my lip, trying to think of anything else but that.
"Here." Stepping forward, Tommy gathered the bottles in his arms and carried them over to my sink. They clattered as he set them down and he twisted open a whiskey bottle that still had something in it. Turning the bottle over, he dumped it's contents out. I watched with internal horror as my elixir of life for the past year almost was wasted down the drain. He moved on to the next bottle and then the next until all of them were empty. I could feel a sticky sweat coat my skin regardless of the air conditioner blowing on me. Once the bottled were cleared out, he grabbed the cardboard box he had transported the floors in and aligned the bottles neatly in it. Carrying it, he disappeared out the front door for a couple minutes before returning again. His arms were empty now. "How's that?" He asked, glancing in my direction.
"I'm not sure." I muttered. Crossing my arms, I sat on the arm of my loveseat.
"Is that all the alcohol you have in the house?" He asked, stepping towards me. I thought for a moment, my mind instantly going to the bathroom sink. Tell him, a soft voice in my mind said. Another voice cursed the first voice out, telling it to mind it's own fucking business. I didn't even know if there had been any in the bottle before I left. If I told Tommy about it, I wouldn't have access to alcohol at all. I just needed to wait for him to leave to get it. If I stayed home and drank, I could hide this shit easily.
"I think so." I lied, hoping it would mean he would be gone soon. But all hope of him making a quick exit faded as he kicked his shoes off and made work of unloading all of the other presents I had received. I hesitated but eventually helped him, setting the plants in the window so they could get sunlight and finding a place to hang the cards on my fridge. We made small talk as we worked, mostly about his job and what the school year had been like. I'll admit I wasn't listening. The only thing on my mind was him getting his feet in his shoes and his ass back in his truck. I kept my hands busy, picking up and rearranging the what little knick knacks I had in my living room. I didn't see the point of stupid little trinkets like that. The ones I did have came from Maria when she was having a garage sale a few summers ago. She thought the porcelain birds fitted me because of how graceful she thought I was. I kept them on the small end table at the end of the loveseat. I pretended to dust them while keeping an eye on Tommy as he cleaned my kitchen counters.
"Can I use your bathroom?" He asked, my anxiety suddenly jumping through the roof.
"What? Why?" I replied quickly. He raised an eyebrow at me.
"Cause it might be rude to use your sink." He joked. "Is it up the hall?"
"No!" I slid so I was standing in the doorway, blocking his path. "I mean, you can't use it."
"Why not?"
"It's broken." I lied. "The landlord hasn't been by to fix it yet. It's an awful mess. There's a gas station around the corner though. Or you can just head back to your hotel."
"Well maybe I can fix it for you. I'm not much of a handy man but I think I can handle a toilet." He set his hands on his hips.
"No. It's fine. Really. I'm actually kind of tired any way so I think it might be good to call it a day." He sighed, hanging his head.
"Where in the bathroom is it?" He questioned, crossing his arm. Fuuuuuck.
"Where's what?" I asked, trying my best to sound confused. I even tipped my head to the side like a dog.
"Kim, you're just making this harder on yourself." He chided, stepping towards me. I did my best to make myself as wide and tall as possible but he surprised me by wrapping his arms around my mid drift and plucking me right off my feet. I struggled again him, trying to pull out of his grip. He shifted us so he was in the hallway now before setting me down. It only took him five long strides before he was in the bathroom. I was on his heels, trying to beat him there. I was met with the door closing in my face and I walked into it.
"Tommy, please don't." I cried, pulling on the door knob. It didn't budge, telling me he had locked the door. On the other side, I could hear him rummaging through everything in the small room. The sound of my medicine cabinet opening told me he was above the sink. I banged my hand on the door, my palm hurting. "Open the door. There's nothing in there!" I lied, hoping he would believe me. I knew he wouldn't though. All I've done is lied since he showed up here. I've been lying so long, I barely know the truth now. That thought made my stomach churn with guilt. I could hear him moving around what sounded like cleaning supplies in an unorganized fashion. Tears coated my eyes as I realized he was about to find it. He turned the water on and the door clicked open. I shoved it so I could see and watched as he drained what was almost a full bottle of vodka down the sink. He had another bottle tucked into the crook of his arm, this one only a quarter full. In my bender, I must have missed these. Otherwise, they would have been gone that first night. "You didn't have to do that!" I exclaimed.
"You're joking, right?" He asked, looking at me like I had three heads. He set the empty bottle on the sink and started pouring out the other bottle. "I see why you were trying to get me out of here so soon."
"I wouldn't have drank them." I said, knowing that we both knew that was a flat out lie. Tommy gave me a look, screwing the lids back on to the Mr. Boston bottles.
"Listen, I'm not expecting you to kick this thing overnight. That's what the rehab is for. But you can't go into it thinking you can drink at night and claim sobriety the next day." He lectured, tossing the bottles into the garbage can behind the door.
"I don't need a lesson in how this is going to work. I was there when the doctor went over it, Tommy." I snapped.
"Do you have any other alcohol in the house? Like, at all." He asked, staring at me. Yes, I thought to myself. I knew there was a little bottle of Schnapps in my bedroom. It was the gross peppermint flavored kind and had been something I won from the Christmas party last year. The only reason why I hadn't drank it yet was because of how much I hated the taste. It was about half a liter, maybe less. It was stashed in the bottom drawer of my dresser, just in case I needed it. It was for very desperate situations. Tommy must have sensed my hesitation because he sighed again, moving to walk passed me. "I'll find it."
"There is none." I said, not moving.
"Yeah. You said that one before."
"I swear, that was the last of it." My pulse was quickening and I needed to think of something. That bottle was my lifeline. Without it, I would be trapped here without any alcohol to be found. I was ashamed how fearful that made me but not too much that I was going to con Tommy to believe me.
"Kimberly, I just-."
"I'm not a child, Tommy! I don't need a goddamn babysitter. I appreciate everything you've done for me but you need to back the fuck up." I exclaimed.
"I know you're not a child but you sure fucking act like one half the time." He shot back.
"If I'm so fucking childish, why are you here then? Huh? Why are you still here trying to save me? Go home then! I don't need you here."
"You need someone. Now let me search your room." He demanded. He moved to walked past me but I shoved him away from me. His jaw clenched and I saw annoyance on his features. He tried again but I shoved him as well. I needed to stop him somehow. If he managed to get by me, he'd find the Schnapps and it would be game over. He stepped towards me and I shut the door behind me, sealing us both in the room. His annoyance took a tinge towards anger. "What do you have hiding in there?"
"Nothing. I'm not opening this door until you agree to leave."
"I swear to Christ, Kim. You are making this whole thing 10 times harder than it needs to be. Just let me past. I can find whatever you have hidden by myself." He stepped towards me, reaching for the door knob. His hand skimmed my waist and I almost could see the spark from it. My entire body shivered and my blood rose like fifteen degrees in a matter of seconds. With the spark came a brilliant idea that I knew I would regret as soon as I thought it. Reaching up, I grabbed the front of Tommy's shirt and slammed my mouth up on to his. His eyes widened in shock at my advancement and I felt him still. I kissed him again but he didn't move to kiss back. I glanced up at him with hooded eyes.
"C'mon, Tommy. Why don't you show me just how pissed I make you?" I whispered, my tongue licking my bottom lip. He gazed down at me like he was hypnotized. I was glad to see it was still working after all these years.
"Kim…I…" He whispered, his voice hoarse. "What are you doing?"
"What's the matter? How long has it been? I sure hope you can still get it up like you used to." I replied, walking forward. He stepped back until I had him almost pinned to the wall by the shower. I ran my left hand down his chest and slowly let them slid down his torso and across the zipper of his pants. I felt him harden against my fingers and a hiss came out between his teeth. "I'm sure you've had lots of practice with it since I've been gone."
"What? No!" He exclaimed. "This isn't going to work."
"No? You don't like it when I do this?" I pressed my hand more firmly against him, cupping him in the palm of my hand. He grew even harder, his jeans fighting to hold him in place. "I remember you not being able to hold yourself back whenever I touched you here."
"Stop it." He said, his hand grabbing mine. A flash of hurt flew across me and I glared up at him. He really didn't want me. How fucking foolish was I to think this was really going to work?
"Fine. Get the fuck out then, Tommy." I ripped my hand from his grip and turned towards the door. As I went to grab the handle, I heard his feet shuffling. I suddenly found myself getting whirled around and Tommy's mouth was on mine. Before I could even process, he had me against the back of the door. His tongue explored the inside of my mouth while his hands made quick work of removing the sweat pants from around my waist. As realization finally set in, I undid the button of his jeans and adjusted his boxers so that he was now exposed. His fully erect penis poked me in the stomach as he kissed me. My underwear went with my sweats and he placed his hands on either side of my ass, hoisting me off the ground.
"I'm going to fuck you so hard." He muttered into my mouth before sliding himself inside of me. I let out a loud gasp, loving the feeling of his warm cock inside of me. It filled me up to the hilt, my body adjusting to his size. I couldn't even remember the last time I had sex when I was 100% sober. Surely, it might had been with Tommy to be honest. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he braced himself with his hands against the door. With each thrust, my entire body lightly slammed into the door. It made it rattle on it's hinges. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, digging my nails into his back each time he slammed inside of me.
"Fuck." I moaned, closing my eyes. I burrowed my face into his shoulder, sinking my teeth into the skin as I felt the impending orgasm begin to grow. Sweat was beginning to form on our skin and I started to match Tommy with each thrust, not wanting to lose any momentum. His mouth found my neck and he left pleasureable bits along my jaw line and collar bone. My mind thought back to my first time with Tommy, rolling around in the sheets of Aisha's parents bed when they were out of town one weekend and Aisha was with her grandmother for lunch. We spent the whole afternoon in bed that day, just being together. That was different though. We were two kids, awkwardly going slow to figure everything out. It was vastly different to the Tommy Oliver who was fucking my brains out in my teeny tiny bathroom.
"Is this what you want?" He breathed into my ear, the hot breath making my skin burn. "Did you miss my cock?"
"Yes." I gasped. "Fuck me." He took a hand from the door and squeezed my ass with it, burying himself deeper inside of me. I arched my back, allowing him access to the depths of me. His tempo picked up and I could start to felt his muscles tense under me. The cries that were coming out me were almost inhuman and foreign to my ears. Under his breath, I heard him swear and his teeth nipped at my ear lobe.
"Tell me you like it when I fuck you." He said through gritted teeth.
"I like it when you fuck me." I breathed. "I'm going to come."
"Good. Come around my cock." He pressed his lips against mine again, his tongue tracing my lips. "I'm gonna make you come."
The orgasm that hit me was what I imagined entering the pearly gates would feel like. The amount of pleasure that washed over me like a tsunami was so strong, I can vaguely remember his name being screamed off my lips. I dug my nails and my teeth so hard into him, he winced. It was also enough for Tommy to be sent over the edge as well, his body stiffening entirely except for his cock. I could feel the warm inside of me as he ejaculated. Panting, I collapsed against him. I suddenly felt like I had run a marathon or two without any sleep. Sweat was pouring off the both of his, it soaking into the fabric of his t-shirt under my cheek as I laid on his shoulder. I could feel him soften inside of me but he didn't make a move to disengage us. Neither one of us spoke as we stood there, trying to catch our breaths.
After what felt like an hour, Tommy slipped himself out of me and gently set my wobbly feet on the floor. His eyes didn't meet mine as he turned away, zipping up his pants. I bent down and grabbed my sweat. I could feel him inside of me, the gross feeling threatening to evacuate as well. I grabbed some toilet paper and cleaned myself up before pulling my pants on. As I went to throw it away, I caught him watching me. There was a slight look of concern on his face.
"Don't worry." I said, tossing the dirty tissue into the toilet. "I'm on birth control."
"It's not that." He replied, casting his look down to his feet. "I think I should go."
"Go?" I repeated, surprised by what he had said. "You're just gonna leave after that?" I pointed at the door with my thumb.
"Yeah. That was a mistake, Kim." He said, his eyes finally raising to meet mine. "I'm sorry."
"What do you mean 'a mistake?' How is being with me a mistake?" I could feel the heat begin to rise in my cheeks. This was my worst fear come true all over again. Tommy was leaving me.
"I just gotta go." He muttered, walking out the door. I followed behind him as he bee lined it for the kitchen.
"Tommy, we need to talk about it." I said. "Everything will be fine. Ex's have sex all the time. It's not a big deal." He slid his shoes on and grabbed his keys from the table.
"I'm not that type of person. I'll see you later." He responded, not even looking at me. He opened the front door and slid out, disappearing on the porch. I ran and caught the door before it shut, his back to me as he jogged down the steps.
"Then fuck you, Tommy! And say hi to the slut Katherine for me while you're at it too!"
