Eric's voice, enraged by fear, is the first thing to pierce my consciousness.
"Can't you go any faster!?" he yells.
I try to get his attention, but I'm too fatigued.
"She's coming around," I recognize Veronica's voice on my other side.
"Hot," I mumble. "Water."
Max passes a water bottle to Veronica, who opens it and helps me take a sip. Eric works my leather jacket off my shoulders, and Max opens his window a few inches and begins fanning me with some papers.
"I'm okay," I try to assure them.
Eric doesn't look convinced. "We're going right to the infirmary," he insists.
"Eric, no," I argue. "I just want to go home. All I need is rest. There's nothing wrong with me, I was just overwhelmed. Someone please tell me I held it together until we were in the car."
Veronica smiles and pats my hand. "You did," she assures me.
I grab Eric's hand and plead with my eyes. "I don't need the infirmary, please. I just need to rest. Please just take me home."
He looks concerned, but Max helps me out. "Son," he says in a soothing voice, "I think she's right. What she really needs is rest, and she can do that better at home than in the infirmary."
Eric's shoulders slump in defeat. "Under two conditions," he growls. "One, I'm sticking around to keep an eye on you. And two, any more fainting and I'm taking you straight to the infirmary."
I nod in agreement with his stipulations, and spend the last few minutes of our drive taking deep breaths and small sips of water. When we arrive in the Dauntless garage, I'm ready to face the walk back to my apartment.
Gratefully I take Eric's hand as he helps me exit the vehicle. Max pulls me into a fatherly hug.
"I need to get back to the office," he says. "I'll get Harrison caught up on everything. You get some rest, and let me know if you need anything."
I nod against his chest and he passes me into Veronica's arms.
"I have to go back to the office too, but I can walk you home if you need," she offers.
I shake my head. "I'm okay," I assure her. "Eric will walk with me and I'll be just fine."
She leaves down one hallway with Max as Eric and I head toward another. I turn to thank the driver and see the van of ambassadors pull into the garage.
"Let's hurry and get you out of here," says Eric, already glaring at the van.
I don't resist, but allow Eric to lead us through a maze of back hallways and staircases until we emerge in our own hall. He opens the door to my apartment and ushers me inside. Immediately I pry off my boots, hang up my jacket, and drop onto my couch.
"Would you like to lay down and take a nap?" Eric offers.
I shake my head. "I don't want to be alone," I admit in a small voice. "I want to stay with you."
He drops onto the couch beside me and gathers me into his arms like a frightened child.
"Brave girl," he consoles me, "you did so well today. It's all over now. Peter is gone, the test is over, and you can rest now."
I let myself relax into his comforting embrace and soothing words. Eric leans back and props his feet up, laying across my couch as I curl up on top of his chest with my feet tucked under his muscular legs. He continues to speak words of soothing and comfort as he runs his fingers through my hair until I fall asleep in his arms.
.
xxxx
.
I wake up on my couch alone, but the noises coming from my kitchen tell me that someone else is here too.
"Eric?" I call.
"Nope, its it's just me," says Christina from the kitchen. "Eric just ran home for a few minutes. He's going to be upset that you woke up when he was gone. Maybe you should pretend to be asleep when he gets back."
I laugh and haul myself off the couch.
"What time is it?" I ask Christina. "I'm hungry."
Christina beams at me. "I'm glad to hear that," she says. "Maybe Eric won't bite my head off if I'm feeding you when he gets back."
I settle myself at the kitchen island, and Christina slides a bowl of oatmeal in front of me. She offers sugar, but I've always eaten oatmeal plain. She hands me a mug of hot tea and a bowl of blueberries. I pop a few berries in my mouth between bites of oatmeal, and Christina grins at me.
"Keep eating," she encourages, "and I'll be Lover Boy's favorite person. Well, second favorite. I think you have the number one spot locked up."
I take a sip of tea, mostly to hide my blushing cheeks behind the mug. Just as I take another bite of oatmeal, my door rattles and Eric walks in carrying a large duffel bag.
"You're up," he says, dropping the bag and hurrying to my side.
"And I got her to eat," Christina boasts.
Eric smiles at her then turns to face me.
"Did you get enough? Can I bring you anything? How do you feel?"
"I'm fine," I insist. "I feel better, and Christina gave me plenty to eat. I'd like to change into something more comfortable, though."
"This is best friend territory," Christina declares. "I got this."
"No fair," Eric teases, making me blush again.
Christina pulls me into my room and I put on some lounge pants, a tee, and the huge sweatshirt Eric loaned me the day I ended up in the infirmary. I feel fine, just tired and cold, and I manage to get changed without help. I wash off my makeup, and we go back out to the living room where Eric is waiting.
"Do you really feel okay?" he asks, then smirks when he notices that I'm wearing his sweatshirt.
"I really do," I say. "I'm a little tired, but otherwise good. Today was hard, but it ended well."
Eric and Christina nod.
"I'm going to take off," says Christina. "I'll let our friends know you're feeling better, and maybe we'll see you tomorrow."
Eric and I thank her as she leaves.
"What's in the bag?" I ask, gesturing to the duffel he dropped when he came in.
"Clothes, a pillow, stuff like that," he says. "I told you I'm staying to keep an eye on you, so I brought what I need to move in to your second bedroom for the night."
"You don't need to do that," I say. "You should go home and get a good night's sleep. It was a long day for you, too."
"I'll sleep better knowing I'm nearby if you need me," he says.
I give in, and we spend the rest of the evening watching movies and eating Dauntless cake. When the movie ends, Eric gathers our dishes. We say goodnight and retire to our separate bedrooms.
.
xxxx
.
Al stands with his feet on the lower chasm rail. He lifts one leg over the top rail, straddling it, then swings his other leg over. He sits on the top rail and looks down at the rocks and rushing water. I watch him, wary, afraid to startle him.
Peter emerges from another hallway, quiet on his feet. Al doesn't hear him approaching over the sound of rushing water. He doesn't hear me scream, either. Peter reaches Al and with one quick shove he unseats the larger boy, sending him plummeting into the abyss.
"No!" I hear the cry of Al's mother beside me. "Why didn't you stop him?" Her sobs sound just as they did in the courtroom.
"I didn't know!" I sob back at her. "I didn't know until it was too late!"
"Tris!" someone yells.
"No! Al, no!" I yell, covering my ears to drown out the sobs of his distraught mother.
"Tris, wake up! Wake up! You're dreaming, Baby, please wake up!"
I pry open my eyes and see Eric's face reflected in the dim light coming in from the hall.
"Tris, Baby, it's okay. It's not real. It's just a dream."
"It is real," I sob, burying my face in my hands.
Eric holds me as I cry. When I recover myself I ask the question that haunted me all day.
"Today, in court, when Peter said that Al killed himself? Was that the first time Al's family heard about what happened to him?"
"I doubt it," Eric soothes. "When an initiate doesn't get on the train, fails initiation, or dies before they're a full member, their faction of origin is notified. When Al died I filed a report on the incident, and Jack Kang was informed. What happens from there is up to the faction, but you know Candor is all about honesty and freedom of information. I'm sure Jack told Al's family. Today was just hard for them like it was hard for you. You already knew what happened, but it hurt to relive it."
"Eric," I groan, "I'm so tired of being weak and overwhelmed. I miss feeling brave and Dauntless."
"Tris, stop," he says. "You're entitled to a rough week and some down time. You were amazing in initiation and in leadership training. You just got worn down finishing training while dealing with this Peter crap. I promise no one thinks less of you. In fact, we're all really proud of the way you've handled all of this."
"Even you?" I ask timidly. "You've seen more of my weakness and breakdowns than anyone."
"Especially me," he says, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
I lean into his warm hand and close my eyes. Eric sighs in response and pulls me a little closer to his broad chest. I nuzzle into him, feeling his pulse accelerate as my face presses into his neck.
"Stay with me?" I whisper against his warm skin.
"Of course," he replies in a soft baritone.
He lays down on my bed, pulling me close so he's spooning me from behind. He pulls my down comforter over both of us and tucks my head under his chin.
"Tris," he breathes, "can I kiss you goodnight?"
I turn in his arms so we're face to face. He's so close that we're breathing the same warm air. I can't speak, so I press a kiss into his jaw, just below his chin. I feel the rasp of stubble against my lips and breathe in the woodsy, masculine smell that is unmistakably Eric.
He tips his chin down toward me and I lift my face to meet his. We pause for a moment and smile softly at each other. Then Eric closes the distance between us and presses his firm but supple lips to mine.
His lips taste sweet and familiar, like coming home after a long journey. I sigh into the kiss as our lips move against each other. We don't pull away until we're desperate for air.
"I've wanted to do that for a long time," he whispers.
"Me too," I admit. "What stopped you?"
"I heard you talking to Uriah one day, outside my office," Eric confesses. "You were telling him that you needed time, that you didn't want to be in a relationship until you proved that you could get through leadership training and do things on your own. So I decided to back off.
It was hard. Every day at training I had to resist the urge to touch you more than necessary or kiss you. That night you had everyone over for a movie I had to make an excuse to get away before you woke up and realized you fell asleep on me, though god knows I wanted nothing more than to stay and hold you while you slept.
That night when we got flirty eating ice cream on your couch I knew I had to keep my distance, or I was going to end up kissing you and ruin everything. I've missed you every day since then. Can I kiss you again?"
"You can kiss me anytime you want," I say, blushing.
The kiss starts out gentle, and grows in intensity. I part my lips slightly and Eric wastes no time slipping his tongue into my mouth. We explore each other's mouths with soft sighs. Eric wraps one arm around me, and the other gently caresses my cheek and down my neck. My hands find purchase on his sides, roaming down to his hips and back up, pulling myself closer as our lips meld.
When we separate, I drop my gaze. "I thought you didn't feel the same way I do," I admit. "You've been such a good friend, and I thought that was all you wanted. When you flirted with me I thought you were teasing me so I would blush."
"I do love when you blush," Eric says, dropping a kiss onto the crown of my head.
"You could do so much better," I whisper, suddenly thankful that the darkness hides the fear on my face.
"Better?" he questions, raising his voice. "What are you talking about?"
I tuck my chin down and wrap my arms around myself. "I know what I am and what you are. You're a legend, a hero. People respect you and girls go crazy for you. You could have anyone."
Eric tips my chin up, forcing me to look him in the eyes. "I don't want anyone else," he says firmly. "I want you."
Before I can object again, he plants his lips firmly on mine in a smoldering kiss.
"Let's get some sleep," he says, tucking me close to his warm body.
