Yes, I'm alive. You can all stop looking for my long-lost will. I was at my Mawmaw's all last weekend, and 12 hours in a minivan inhaling dog fumes with my 4 year old brother jabbering away about EVERYTHING and trying to wrestle with me while I'm trying to work on Algebra… my sanity miraculously remained intact somehow. For those of you who know my brother… yes. Twelve hours of that. I love that boy to death but he has WAY too much energy and is way too violent. I'm planning on him joining the NFL one day.

Then, this weekend, my dad fixed my internet (slow as Christmas and I had to hit 'refresh' every time I clicked on something) and got me a new mouse (old one spazzed out on me), but my computer is possessed and while we were fixing it, it somehow got to the point where it lost internet connection. But, all is better now (My internet is back to its old messed-up self, but I got to keep the mouse!!) and now I'll stop with my excuses and give you the chapter.

I'm curious to know if people actually read these ANs, so copy and paste the next line into your review:

Owa-Tagu-Siam

Kudos to whoever figures it out!!! (Nat: camp initiation!!!)

Disclaimer: When I kidnap JP and make him give me the rights to Maximum Ride, I'll let you know. Until then, well, I put this thing up so I don't get sued.

Max POV

"That was AWESOME!"

"Easy 9.8, based on sonic boom alone," Iggy agreed with Gazzy. I rolled my eyes. In the fifteen minutes since Fang had exploded the Itex branch into a million eensy pieces, Gazzy and Iggy hadn't shut up about how awesome the bomb was and rating it on sound, smoke, size, and twenty other things I didn't recognize.

"What is it with them and their unhealthy and more than likely illegal obsession with explosives?" I demanded of Fang, who was flying next to me. He shrugged.

"What is it with you and your unhealthy obsession with chocolate chip cookies?" he countered. I stuck out my tongue..

"What is it with you and your unhealthy obsession with black?" I shot back. Fang just rolled his eyes, a look of long suffering flitting across his face before he went back to his emotional mask. I glanced down and saw the cave where we'd left the dogs.

"Headin' down guys!"

We landed and Total jumped up, flapping his little wings excitedly. "Well? What are the malevolent scoundrels up to now?"

Nudge scrunched up her nose in confusion. "Malev-what?"

"Means evil," Fang murmured.

"They're mass-producing Shredders, but we don't have to worry about this particular branch because mister walking-dictionary over here blew it up," I informed Total. He stared at me in shock for a minute, then high-fived Fang. Or high-pawed. Whatever.

"Time to hit the road, guys. Who's taking who?" I asked.

"I'll help with Akila," Fang told me. I shot him my best no-you-are-not glare and he rolled his eyes. I resisted the urge to whack him upside the head. Is there some unwritten rule of the universe that all males have to be stubborn and refuse to let any injuries affect them? If anyone can find the idiot that wrote that rule, send me a memo.

"Nimrod!" I hissed at him. He just shrugged it off.

In the end, Total decided he could make it by himself and Fang somehow convinced Iggy that the two of them should carry Akila.

I wonder if he'd notice if I slipped some Benadryl into his drink tonight. I wondered absentmindedly as I gained altitude.

Why would you want to do that, Max? Angel's innocent little voice asked in my head.

Benadryl makes you sleepy, baby. Fang needs a chill pill every now and then, don't you think?

She giggled. Definitely.

We flew for about an hour before we collapsed of sheer exhaustion in a rocky cave somewhere in Texas.

"Catch!" Iggy called, tossing each of us two granola bars and a bottle of water. The minute we reached wherever we were going, I was going to buy out a whole restaurant for us. Speaking of which…

"Where do you guys wanna spend our vacation week?" I called.

"How 'bout San Antonio?" Fang suggested. I thought it over.

"Any specific reason?"

He shrugged. "Good tourist city, lots of people, easy to blend."

I scowled. "Repeat after me. It is a good tourist city. It has lots of people, and it would be easy to blend in there. Now, is that so hard?"

The flock was cracking up by the end of my little rant and they almost went into hysterics when Fang looked at me and nodded.

"I got first watch, now you guys hit the sack," I ordered. The little kids and Iggy all had the presence of mind to listen to me without arguing, but Fang narrowed his eyes at me.

Fifteen minutes later, I was stretched out next to Fang and touching his new bruise on his arm, smirking at the look he gave me when he tried to not wince.

Wow; we really have some issues. We start by fighting over who takes first watch, then start getting physically violent (AKA beating each other up), to making out, back to verbally fighting and end up with me practically sitting on Fang's back with his arm twisted behind him while he maintains that I cheated. Sissy. Kissing someone very passionately then slamming them into the ground once they're totally relaxed is not cheating. Not that I did that of course… hehehe…

Don't get me wrong; we weren't punching each other or anything like that, we were just shoving each other around and tripping each other and things like that. Have you ever messed around with a sibling or friend? Yeah, it was like that.

"Fang, I am going to take first watch. You can take second. Please don't argue with me; I really don't feel like fighting any more tonight," The first half came out nice and strong and left no room for argument. The second half… was pathetic; I was begging. He raised an eyebrow.

"Max, if you're admitting you're not up for beating the crap out of me again for first watch, you obviously need some sleep. I'll take first watch and wake you up for second."

"No, you wouldn't. You'd wake Iggy up for second and you two would let me sleep in, waking me up an hour late for third," I said flatly, eyeing him suspiciously. He smiled innocently, lighting up my world. Not to sound horribly cliché and downright sappy; it was magical. Dangit, boy! That's cheating! Of course, he might not know what affect his smiles have on me…that's probably a good thing; he'd misuse the power terribly.

"Max, we both know I'm gonna win, so just drop it now."

"I hate you," I mumbled, as I snuggled up against him.

"I love you too." His voice dripped sarcasm and I grinned in spite of myself.

"Sorry, Max," he added randomly.

"Sorry? For what?" I swear, if he's blown up another building or gone over to the dark side…

"We were supposed to go out on our date tonight, remember?"

Oh yeah… I'd forgotten. I guess the whole finding out that people all over the world are hunting you again can take priority in your mind. I wasn't about to tell him that, though. I glanced down. "About that, Fang… I dunno if I want to go on a date any more. It just doesn't feel right, y'know? Not like it did with Sa-" I didn't even get his name out of my mouth before Fang titled my face towards his and kissed me roughly, driving all coherent thoughts out of my mind.

"Nice try, Maximum," he murmured against my lips. I scowled at him and he smiled and kissed me again.

"Night, Max," he told me a while later and his voice held no room for argument. I glared at him.

"Who died and made you leader?"

He gave me a look that said quite clearly 'shut up and go to sleep or else'

"Promise you'll wake me up for second?" I asked.

He shrugged offhandedly. In Fang-talk, that means 'ain't no way it's happening, but you can fool yourself all you want'. I playfully poked him in the stomach before I closed my eyes and drifted off.

"C'mon Max, time for your watch," Iggy whispered as he shook me awake. My eyes shot open.

"'K, Igs, go to sleep now," I mumbled. He moved away to go pass out and I sat up slowly.

Fang hadn't woken me up for second watch, not that I'd expected him too, but it still rankled. He was going to learn that just because he was my boyfriend didn't mean he could start being all over-protective of me. How was I going to teach Fang the Stubborn this lesson, you ask? Easy. He's a hormonal teenage boy; all I had to do was not kiss him for a day and he'd get the message. It worked perfectly; by the time we reached San Antonio that evening, he was halfway down the path to clinical insanity.

He attempted to corner me while Nudge was in the shower and the rest of the flock was busy watching the TV, but I slipped away and lounged on the bed, watching the TV. I glanced at the screen, then blinked, making sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. Yes, there was a talking cucumber holding a stuffed seal-looking thing on TV.

"Barbara, I can't dance." A fake, high male voice confessed. What the…?

"Barbara manatee," the cucumber began singing. I felt my eyes widen in total disbelief, but found myself laughing along with the kids. I found out the show was called VeggieTales and it was crazy, but hilarious.

"I'm out!" Nudge yelled as she exited the bathroom. Yes! My turn! Everyone else had already taken their shower, so I was the last one. Fang snickered at my expression as I jumped off the bed, grabbed my bag and hurtled across the room like a caffeine-crazed squirrel. In 17.6 seconds, I was in the shower, turning on the water at the hottest it would go. Just one problem; the hottest it would go was ice-cold.

"Who used all the hot water?!" I screamed. Outside the bathroom, there was the awkward silence of no one wanting to own up to something. Then, very quietly, I heard Nudge mutter, "crap!"

"You're so gonna get it," Gazzy told her.

I showered as quickly as possible, shivering in the icy water. Next time we stayed in a hotel, I was taking the first shower; Nudge had used most of the soap and shampoo too. I love that girl, but sometimes I could strangle her. I got out, dried off, attempted to pull a comb through my hair, gave on it, and got dressed. I walked back into the room and plopped down on one of the beds between Fang and Angel. Nudge was sitting opposite me and I narrowed my eyes and glared at her. She shrank back a little closer to Iggy. Wonder what's up with that? Oh well, I'll ask Fang later.

Speak of the devil. Fang had taken a comb and was working out the knots in my hair. It felt sooo good. Nevermind that he was doing it to get back on my good side.

That's not the only reason, Max. He knows you're stressed out and he wasn't to make you feel better/ Plus, he just loves you.

Angel! What have I told you about digging around in peoples' heads without their permission?

Not to do it. Her mental voice sounded glum.

Exactly, now bye-bye. I felt her leave my head and realized that Fang was done with combing my hair.

"Can I talk to you, Max?" he asked. I fought back a giggle; he was going crazy. I followed him out to the balcony and shut the door and curtains behind us.

"Ma-ax," he whined. Yes, you heard me, Fang, the Prince of Darkness, whined. And if that sentence doesn't seem weird to you, I suggest you go back and reread the books.

"Fa-ang," I mimicked back at him.

"It's not funny," he griped. I smirked.

"Maybe to you it's not, but me and the flock are getting a kick out of this. Teach you not to listen to me."

He looked incredulously at me. "That's what this is all about? Me not waking you up for second watch?"

"Congratulations! It only took you all day to figure it out!" I rolled my eyes sarcastically.

"If I apologize, will I get a kiss?"

"Maybe," I smiled. He grabbed my hand and played with my fingers while he talked.

"Max, I apologize for not waking you up for watch. You're a big girl and I should stop trying to protect you from everything. It was wrong and I'm sorry. Can I have my kiss now please??"

I'll admit, I was impressed; I didn't know the boy had it in him. I debated making him wait a while longer, but he looked at me with those burning midnight-sky eyes, and I caved, pressing my lips to his for a moment, and then letting him take control of the kiss.

What seemed like ages later, he pulled away, both of us breathing heavily.

"What are we doing for the rest of the day?" he asked.

"Well, the flock wants to go sightseeing," I informed him. He grinned, lighting up my world.

"Sounds like fun."

*****

"Can I jump in?" Gazzy whispered excitedly to me. I glared at him.

"We're trying to blend in, remember? And I'm pretty sure normal people don't jump into the water in the San Antonio River Walk," I added. Fang snickered quietly next to me and I shoved him playfully. He shoved me back gently before he wrapped his arm around me and rested his head on top of mine.

I really had no clue what'd gotten in to him, but ever since we'd 'gotten together', he'd been very affectionate towards me. He still was the same to the rest of the flock, but he was constantly holding my hand or putting his arm around me or something. I wasn't complaining, but it did worry me; it was disconcerting.

What did you expect, Maximum? The Voice butted in. I groaned.

You know, some people think of a vacation as white sand beaches and waves lapping at their feet and romantic music playing in the background. I'd be happy if the voice in my head just left me alone for a week.

Maximum, he has been holding back feelings for you for so long. Now he doesn't have to hide them. You don't realize it, but you have changed too.

Have not!

Yes, you have, Maximum. You are far less stressed and more easy-going.

Well, crap. I thought angrily.

Change is not always a bad thing.

Yeah, yeah, can you go bother some other poor bird kid?

You need me, Maximum, you just haven't realized it yet.

I had a smart-mouth retort ready, but the Voice butted in again. Enjoy your vacation Max; enjoy being with the flock. Show Fang how much you love him. You have no guarantee how long this will last.

What? What do you mean?! I screamed in my head, but the Voice didn't answer.I know; shocker.

"You ok, Max? You kinda zoned out," Fang was there, his face only inches from mine. I forced a smile.

"Yeah, I'm good, just the Voice sticking its two cents in," I told him.

"About?"

I sighed; he wasn't going to let this go. "Us, change, fortune cookie crap, the usual." HE nodded, accepting my answer, and we didn't talk again the whole ride. We just sat back and admired the beautiful view; the stars reflecting on the water, the sounds, smells and sights of the people and food surrounding us.

That night, we were lounging around in the hotel room while the kids drifted off to sleep. Once Gazzy's snores had filled the room, Iggy glanced unseeingly at me and Fang.

"I'll take first watch, but please don't be out too late, ok?" How did he know?

"You two are pretty obvious," he said, sensing our eyes on him. I decided not to ask questions; knowing Ig, given half a chance, he'd be cracking innuendos left and right.

The date was amazing. We went to McDonalds and scared half the staff with our order, then went to the theaters and watched Twilight. The movie was great; made even more amazing by the fact that I was snuggling into Fang as best I could with the stupid armrest thingy between us.

It was almost midnight when we got back. As I slip the key into the door handle, I got the sense something was wrong; I could smell smoke. I glanced at my boyfriend – gosh, it feels weird saying that word – and shot him a look that said 'do you sense it too?' and he nodded.

Shredders? I mouthed. Fang thought for a minute, then shook his head. 'I don't think so'his expression read. "Count of three," I breathed. Meaning count of one.

"One!" I hissed and he twisted the handle sharply and threw open the door. We burst into the room, ready to take on whatever was threatening our family, only to be met with two extremely guilty male faces covered in soot and two very self-righteously angry female faces.

"Hehehe... oops?" Iggy said very sheepishly.

"What did you do??" I hissed at him, trying desperately to keep my voice down so the rest of the hotel couldn't hear.

"That wasn't supposed to happen," he confessed, "Me and Gaz were trying out a new kind of bomb and it kinda… went haywire and woke the girls up. But it was a very small bomb!" he added quickly. Ok, deep breaths. Don't flip out yet. Assess the damage and get out of human hearing range first.

"Where'd you set it off?" I asked as I took inventory of the room; it looked fine.

"The bathroom," Gazzy muttered. I took off running towards the room in question. It wasn't too bad; it could've been worse. Sure, the shower curtain and towels were charred and the tiles were cracked, but Iggy and Gazzy's scenes of destruction usually looked much worse when they were done with them.

"We weren't even halfway done," Gazzy explained, "so, the damage isn't bad. Now, we think we know what went wrong, so if we connect the red wire after we cross the yellow with the green, instead of before…" his voice trailed off as I glared at him.

Two hours later, I'd shouted myself hoarse and Gazzy and Iggy both looked like they were going to pee their pants in fright. It was rather refreshing.

*****

A week later, we were in the sky, almost at my mom's house. We'd had a great time in San Antonio, but I was dying for some of her chocolate chip cookies.

"Heading down, guys!" I yelled, and we landed in the small woods outside her house.

"Race ya!" Gazzy shouted and we were all running flat-out towards the house. Yes, all of us; even me and Fang, even Total and Akila! I reached the door first.

"We're here!" I called, pounding on the door. It opened and Ella stood there, her eyes red from crying and a strained smile on her face. She hugged all of us half-heartedly.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"The Voice told us there was something we needed to deal with here before I 'save the world,'" I made quotations marks with my fingers in midair.

"I bet he did," Ella muttered resentfully.

"What's the matter?" I asked her worriedly. She was my half sister, and I needed to make sure I didn't need to kick anyone's butt for her. She shook her head.

"You'll see; it's not my business," she mumbled; a look of sadness, anger, and… loathing, maybe, flickering across her face. I was totally confused, but then my mom appeared at the top of the stairs and my worries took a backseat for a minute.

"Max!" She pulled me into a hug that would have probably snapped my spine if I was human.

"I missed you, Mom," I whispered, then pulled away from her embrace so she could hug the rest of the flock. The look on Fang's face when she squeezed him was priceless. Talk about your Kodak moments.

"It's good to see you again, Maximum," an all-too familiar voice whispered in my ear.

"Jeb," I said curtly, nodding slightly in acknowledgement.

Only once all of the hugs and tearful reunions were out of the way and we were seated in the kitchen, wolfing down hot chocolate chip cookies, did I go out of my way to speak to Jeb.

"So, what's this big pow-wow we needed to come up here for?" I asked. No use beating around the bush.

"Well…" My mom trailed off, uncertainly. I looked around the room, taking in every detail, every face.

"Oh my gosh, you have got to be kidding me!"

Evil cliffie!!! What do YOU think will happen??

I just read Max; it's SOOOO good!! Much better then TFW!! Am I the only one that started squealing 'faxnesfaxnessfaxness!" on page 285??

Review or Fang will take Max on a date on the San Antonio River Walk and they'll fall in and drown!! Hehehe… these things are so much fun! 15 reviews for this chapter, please!!!

--Dallas