I like how pretty much all the comments involved Meredith cheating on Castle, you guys really like her, right? :) I am not going to give away any spoilers, you'll have to be patient and wait for the updates... - I'm evil like that.
Thanks for the feedback!
Vicky and Alex.
"This is no place for a baby," Kate said while she poured beer into three wooden tumblers. She handled one to Lanie, another to Maddie and kept the third one, sipping it thoughtfully.
Lanie looked at her without saying a word. She knew perfectly what Kate was thinking. They were like sisters. They had been best friends for more than ten years. They had shared all types of secrets and experiences. They had stood by each other when it felt like the world was ending for one or other or both of them. Kate had taught her English and she had taught Kate some basic healing. The two women trusted each other with their lives. Kate was a fool if she thought she could hide a feeling like this from her.
"I know what you are thinking," Kate pointed out, reading Lanie's mind. "You think I'm jealous of her."
"Of course you are." Maddie said as though it should be obvious. "You are hot for Castle." Maddie and Kate had been best friends during their early childhood. She had recently moved to the Merry Men camp after marrying Ethan Slaughter, one of Kate's finest men, and automatically made it into their clique.
"I am not." Beckett replied in disbelief. One thing she regretted about having introduced the two women to each other was the fact that they were very like-minded when they came to Kate. More often than not, a discussion would turn into a contest between Lanie and Maddie, and Kate – who was constantly put out by their attempts to convince her they knew best.
"You want to make little Castle babies," her blonde friend continued teasing her, Lanie nodding in agreement. What a surprise, Kate thought almost fondly.
"I do not," she denied, irritation seeping into her tone. Sometimes she didn't know why she was friends with those two. "I have Josh."
"Right," Lanie retorted sarcastically. "You might have Josh but you get that look in your eyes when you're with Castle, not Josh."
Kate ignored her friends. They obviously didn't know what they were talking about. She was happy with Josh, or at least that was what she told herself every morning when he pecked her cheek in greeting. Either way, nothing else could be done. Meredith was with child and Katherine Beckett was not a house wrecker. A kid needed both parents, so that was the end to this pointless discussion.
"I'm going for a run," Beckett muttered automatically.
"I'm starting to think that you believe you can run away from your problems," Lanie stated. Maybe she was right about that, but it seemed like the only way Kate could keep herself together.
"I don't have a problem here," the brunette called over her shoulder as she started walking towards the door.
"Oh, you do," Maddie responded loudly. "Its name is Meredith."
"Just because you can't see it doesn't mean we can't!" Lanie added matching the blonde's tone.
"Shuuut uuup!" Kate sang and closed the door behind her.
Those girls. How she loved them but how she wanted to strangle them at the same time. Kate left her bow and arrows laying in front of her tent and started running. Some people found comfort with food, some with alcohol and some, like Kate, with running.
It had rained the whole morning and the soil was wet. Kate loved running on mud; it was unexpected, like life. Running on mud required attention on the road, your feet had to be placed carefully: one bad step would end with a tumble.
The refreshing smell of nature filled her lungs and calmed her raging emotions. It was just her and the woods; no Castle, no Josh, no Meredith. Just her. She loved the sensation of running on the viscous floor, the sound her feet made every time they reached or leaved the ground was music to her ears - it was definitely one of her favorite sounds.
Kate stopped at a small creek, not because she was tired but because the man who couldn't leave her thoughts was there, his gaze lost in the horizon.
"I hear congratulations are in order." Kate said approaching him. Rick turned to face her. He looked worried. "It'll be ok, Rick."
"I'm not ready for this," he admitted. Panic filled his voice.
"No one is ever prepared for parenthood," Kate tried to comfort him. Even if he was not hers, she cared too much for him. "On the bright side, you can't be worse than your father," she added gently, remembering that Castle was the last name of all the fatherless children in the realm.
"What if I turn out to be just like him?" Castle asked, wringing his hands nervously.
"I doubt it, Rick." She rested her hand on his shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze.
He looked at her, and even with that worried expression on his face he looked handsome. Kate could feel a force, stronger than the force that glued her to the floor, dragging her closer to Castle. She blinked when their faces were a few centimeters apart. Castle was looking at her, those big blue eyes haunted with fear seemed to look through her eyes and right into her soul. She stared at the lake, trying to ignore the want that rose up in her.
"This is no place for a child," Kate murmured quietly, taking her hand away from his shoulder and walking towards the water.
"I agree." He took a pace forward to stand next to her. "That's why we are leaving after the baby is born."
That news hit her hard. Like a punch to the gut or a stab in the heart. She fought against the tears that were accumulating on her eyes. She felt empty, as though someone had taken her soul away and replaced it with stones.
"Good." she replied after a while.
At least she wouldn't have to face the baby every day, see how he or she grows, see how they made a happy family. It would be a constant reminder of what could have been. A constant reminder that she didn't get what she wanted.
"See you later, Richard," she said using his complete name for the first time in weeks. It came out with a disdainful tone that ate a little piece of Kate's heart and spat it out with no regard for the owner's wellbeing.
Castle noticed. He stood silently as he watched her disappear into the woods. She had almost kissed him. Why hadn't he closed the space between them? The distance had been tiny, yet to make that move would have moved them on miles. He wanted to kiss her, more than anything in the world. He wanted to taste her lips more than any other woman's. He – he wanted to be hers. Richard berated himself sharply. Why did he feel that way about Kate? He should be having those feelings towards Meredith, the mother of his child, and no one else.
Rick kneeled in front of the water and splashed some on his face to freshen up. He drank some, but it didn't seem to wash away the bitter taste left in his mouth. The spy looked at his reflection in the water, and with his fist he hit it, water splattering everywhere. The bitter taste came from his feelings, from having lost the Queen of Thieves for ever.
