A/N: Thanks goes out to Paige for making my shit readable!
Thank you for all the reviews. Weather is really bad here right now. We have Thunder Snow!
Never heard of it before, but apparently it's a thing. Hope you're all staying safe. xx
Chapter 11
"We're all sorry for what happened, Bella. We never meant for things to get out of hand, but when we saw you were hurt, we just lost it. Our first priority should have been you. It should have always been you and if we could go back and change things, then we would. I'm sorry we pushed you away."
Edward's words surprised me. I never expected them to felt guilty for that night. They hadn't acted guilty afterward and in all honesty, I didn't blame them for how they reacted. Not when we had seen so much abuse at such a young age. The attack wasn't the entire reason I left. I mean, it was part of it, but the big part was down to the fact that I was messed up. I kept all my thoughts and feelings to myself. I bottled everything up, to the point I felt like I was constantly on the verge of exploding. I left because I couldn't cope. I wasn't coping. I didn't leave to punish them.
"The last thing we ever wanted was for you to leave us. These last eight years haven't been easy. Wondering where you were; if you were okay. Shit, Bella, we didn't even know if you were still alive. Do you know what it's like scanning the newspapers for any news of your death?"
I swallow back the lump in my throat, looking down at my shaking hands. I hadn't thought about what it would be like for them. I was too consumed with my feelings and issues to think about how my leaving would affect them. I'd been selfish. I owed them more than that. The word 'sorry' rests on the tip of my tongue. I open my mouth to say it, but no sound comes out. My throat suddenly feels dry. My legs weak. I feel as if I'm going to crumble, but Edward is by my side before my legs have the chance to give out.
He sets me down on the bed before sitting down beside me. I can feel him staring at me, willing me to look at him, but I can't. I'm overcome with guilt for how I've treated them. I'm such a shitty person. The entire time I've made this whole situation about me, but it's never just been about me. It's always been about us.
Edward must get fed up waiting for me to look at him, because he puts his hand beneath my chin, titling it gently, until I'm looking him in the eyes. I fear what I will see there, but I don't find what I expected. Instead of judgement, there is only concern. "It's okay, Bella. It's all going to be okay." His words cause the last of my resolve to crumble. I breakdown; closing the distance between us as I cry quietly into his chest.
