Chapter Eleven: Look At Your Career
Author's Note: The flashback in this chapter are in italics. As always, I don't own Glee or any of its characters. The chapter title comes from To Zion by Lauryn Hill.
Things couldn't have been going better for Rachel since she told Cassie she was pregnant. She was getting more time to be by herself, which means she was finishing the profiling classes faster than she was expecting.
Rachel looked at the calendar in her apartment. It was the middle of May, which meant she only had two more weeks here in London before her time with the state department was over (Cassie had decided not to have Rachel return because of the baby, which she was more than fine with). All she had to do in order to make her grand return to the BAU was fill out some paperwork and wait for Schue or Beiste to approve the forms. She'd be back to the team in no time.
-X-
"So, Cassie says you won't be coming back to us after your summer sabbatical. Do you mind telling me why?" Jesse asked one day when they were having lunch.
Rachel put her fork down and looked at Jesse. "Is it really any of your concern? Cassie is the lead of this whole thing, not you. Cassie has her reasons, and I have my reasons. You have no need to know."
"On the contrary. Cassie is leaving as well, making me in charge. So, I need to know why the only person who was able to communicate with more than half of the victims is leaving in order for me to find an appropriate replacement."
"I'm having a baby. And I'd prefer to be stateside for the rest of my pregnancy."
Jesse stared at her with wide eyes for a few moments. "Wow. That is interesting. What are you going to do about the whole profiling thing?"
"I can still do it. I have people who are more than willing to watch my children for me. This is something that I want to do, and it brings some money so I can give my daughter and future child the life I want to give them."
"But is it really smart? Your career choice is incredibly dangerous. You could put yourself, and your unborn child, in serious peril. And you aren't even married to your child's father. That could cause some turmoil in the child's life."
Rachel pushed her chair back. "I don't need someone to comment on the life choices that me and my fiancé are making. Those decisions are between the two of us, and not with some nosy former co-worker." She let that sink in with Jesse and left the makeshift cafeteria. Suddenly, she didn't feel much like eating anymore.
-X-
"It was horrible, Finn. I just snapped at him. But, just the things he was saying, they really pissed me off." Rachel said that night when she was back at the apartment in London.
"Well, he does have somewhat of a point. Where would Jenna and the baby if something happened to us?"
Rachel bit her lip. "Well, Blaine said he'd be there to help out in any way he could. And my dads would help too." She laid a hand on her stomach. "We still have a little time to figure this out." She smiled. "I can't wait to see our baby when I get home. Two more weeks."
"Two weeks, huh?" Finn said. "It's coming up soon."
"I know. And I can't wait to see the townhouse you think you found."
"Yeah, about the townhouse…"
"Oh God, it's not going to happen, is it? No, there's something wrong with it, isn't there? I really don't want to find a place when I get back home because it's already going to be crazy with trying to get things set up for the baby and –"
"No, Rach, there's nothing wrong with the townhouse. It's in D.C., and I wanted to make sure that was okay with you before I go to the realtor's office tomorrow to sign the paperwork."
Rachel breathed a sigh of relief. She'd first fallen in love with the townhouse when she was FaceTiming with Finn on the first walk through of the house. She'd already started thinking up how to design it and collaborated with Kurt on the design of Jenna's room and she was sure when she found out if she's having a boy or girl, Kurt would be there to help with the nursery. "That's perfectly fine, Finn. Call me when you get out of the meeting."
"Will do, Rach. Listen, I've got to go. Sylvester just walked in. I love you and our baby."
"I love you too. And so does Baby Hudson." Rachel smiled as she hung up. She stood up from the couch and winced when she felt a stabbing pain in her abdomen and sank to the floor.
Unfortunately, she'd experienced this feeling before.
It was supposed to be a normal visit to the doctor. Finn had driven her because Blaine had a class during her appointment time and Finn offered to go with her.
But when she was in the exam, she started feeling this intense pain in her stomach that made want to curl up in a ball and cry out from the pain.
Her doctors told her she was experiencing too much stress and she needed to take a step back from her classes.
"But, I can't drop out. I have to raise this baby all by myself. My dads aren't even talking to me right now, and there's no way they'd give me money." Rachel said as tears started trickling down her face.
"No. I won't let this happen again." Rachel said, gritting her teeth as she tried to stand up. She grabbed her phone and dialed 999, the number she was told to call if she ever had trouble while she was in London.
-X-
"Schue, I hate to leave you hanging like this, but I have to get to London. Rachel's in the hospital." Finn said after they met with the police force in Denver.
"Is she okay?"
Finn shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. "I really don't know. But this is what happened to her when she was pregnant with Jenna and I don't want her to be all alone in London. Is there any way I can take the jet and fly out to meet her?"
Schue sighed and fished through his wallet. "Unfortunately, I can't let you use the jet. Red tape and all. But I will let you use my frequent flier miles."
"Schue, these are for you and Emma."
"I'm sure Emma wouldn't mind forgoing on our trip a little in order for you to be with Rachel."
Finn hugged his boss. "Thank you, Schue. Please tell Emma I said that." He started to walk away, but Schue called his name.
"Look, I don't think it's going to be wise for Rachel to jump back into the team when she gets back from London. So tell her that her boss says she is not allowed to report to work until the baby is born and she's had a full maternity leave."
"I'll tell her that but she won't be very happy with you."
"I'd rather have Rachel be upset with me for the time being than see a depressed Rachel again. You remember what happened the last time, Finn."
Finn sighed and thought back to what Schue was talking about.
Finn and Blaine were the only ones from the Quantico branch of the FBI that knew how badly Rachel was suffering after giving birth to Jenna. When they'd talked to her doctor about it, she'd said that postpartum depression was normal and just make sure that she wouldn't do anything to harm herself or the baby. But just in case, she gave the two of them a prescription for an antidepressant for Rachel to take to make her feel better.
And for a few days, it seemed like the normal Rachel was back. She was back to her normal bubbly self and Blaine and Finn were sure that everything was fine with her.
But one day when they came back from a post exam from the Academy, they found a crying Jenna in her play pen in the living room of the apartment and Rachel was nowhere to be found in the entire apartment.
When Rachel got home from wherever she was and saw Jenna sleeping in her crib, she broke down in tears and said she couldn't do it anymore. Even though her relationship with her dads was back on track, she felt like she had completely betrayed them. And the part that broke Finn's heart the most was her saying that she didn't want to be around her daughter anymore and him and Blaine should just get rid of her.
Finn knew that this wasn't the real Rachel talking. He went back to the bathroom and took the pill bottle out of the cabinet and looked at its contents and realized she hadn't taken any of the medication.
-X-
"Finn, what are you doing here?" Rachel asked the next day, sitting up in her hospital bed.
"I needed to see you. I heard you were here in the hospital and I…how's the baby?"
"The baby's fine. Just like with Jenna, I'm too stressed out. Hard to believe, isn't it?" Rachel said with a small smile. "I'm glad you got to come out here."
Finn sat down next to Rachel's bed and kissed her forehead. "You and our baby needed me. I did what I had to do." He looked down at Rachel's hand. "But I have some bad news. Schue said you aren't allowed to start working for the BAU again until you've had the baby and he's giving you a full length maternity leave, whatever that means."
Rachel groaned and let her head fall back against the pillows. "That means I won't be working again until April. I can't handle that, Finn. I'm going to go stir crazy."
"He doesn't want anything to happen to you or the baby."
Rachel let out a puff of air. "Fine. But make sure he knows I'm not thrilled about this plan."
Finn laughed and kissed her again. "I'll make sure he knows that Rach."
Author's Note: I only found out the number to call in London is 999 because my roommate and I looked it up on Yahoo answers. If anyone knows if this is correct or not, feel free to let me know.
