A/N: Hey guys! Look who decided to post a second chapter this weekend!
Yeah well so here's another chapter for ya. Also thanks for the reviews tiddo- mus & lilyflowerseverus your reviews were making my day (I kinda like this 'traditional go fuck yourself', motivates me a lot ^^)
This chapter is a little longer than usual and a lot is going to happen. I'm afraid that it might is going on too fast. Always feel free to leave review because I really want to know how u r feeling about this.
Soo I hope you enjoy the chapter! ;)
When Dean returned to the motel room, Sam was already awaiting him. He sat on the bed, between shards, the windows were now covered with some pieces of fabric. Sam had put on his 'bitch face' and Dean was definatly not in the mood for this.
"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?!", Sam snapped as his brother shut the door closed and walked towards the other bed to sit down himself. Dean didn't answer the question and Sam started to work it out himself.
"So you summoned it?", Sam sighed. Deans eyes narrowed a little. He was confused, terrified and angry and all of that because of this stupid son of a bitch who thought it was funny to just tell him that he was an angel. But for all that feeling there still was this voice in his head that didn't allow Sam to start bitching about this 'Castiel'.
"Apparently it is a he.", Dean had no idea why he even defended this idiot. He sank down onto the pillow, stareing at the ceiling, avoiding his brothers gaze.
"Does that even matter? What kind of a demon is this guy anyways?", Sam asked again. Dean rolled his eyes. Sometimes Sam was just so annoyingly curious and Dean was not in the mood for his questions.
"Dean?", he said as his brother didn't answer. With a sigh Dean turned his head to see Sam sitting on the bed next to his, his arms crossed before his chest. He looked still a little bitchy, but his curiosity had now found its way to his expression.
"I don't know it either but this asshole thinks I'm stupid enough to think he's an angel. I don't know how he made it to go through the devilstraps or how he survived Rubys knife but angels don't exist so he can't be serious!"
Sams facial expression dropped and Dean sighed a halfhearted 'Sam don't' before the younger Winchester jumped. He started cheering and Dean had this huge urge to just press his pillow onto his face hard enough to make it stop.
"Sam! Cut it off this is a demon! Demon! Demons lie. There are no such things as angels okay?!"
"But Dean! The traps, the knife, you said it didn't kill him!"
Dean ran his fingers through his hair.
"Okay even IF he's an angel, he's a dickhead okay?! Let's just go on like nothing was wrong, I'll find us a job.", Dean snapped and burried his face in the softness of his pillow.
"An angel saved you! We have to talk about that Dean, we can't just go on like nothing happened. What did he say to you?"
And there it was. Sams annoying 'Dean we have to talk!' , 'Dean let's talk about our feelings!' , 'Dean don't be such a jerk!' attitude.
"Don't be such a jerk!", his brother said as he didn't answer. Told ya.
"He said that I have to be careful, that the demons are following us and want me back in hell. He said that they'll probably trying to kill and that he's told to watch over me. You happy now?", Dean grumbeled but his voice softened a little as he said: "Please just go to sleep now okay? I planned on leaving tomorrow so we should get a little sleep... both of us..."
Sam nodded, his brother was right. They had to talk about that, but not now. So he laid down too, stareing at the ceiling. A broad smile was lightening up his face before he sank down into deep sleep.
It was later that night, Dean was awake for hours now. The nightmares had stopped him from getting the rest he needed, but what had woken him up was the white light that had made him feel better as the memories shattered again. He was thinking about the 'angel'. Who was he and why did he seem so familiar? His face, his voice, the way he looked at Dean, it was like he already knew all of this.
Then Dean heard it. The quiet clicking noise of the door being opened, but before he could even look at the demon knife and his shotgun on the nightstand he was pulled up by his collar. He felt how someone held a knife to his throat and when he saw the intruder his eyes narrowed.
"Hello Dean.", the dark haired girl whispered with a maniacal smirk on her face. "Wanted to do that for a long time by now."
Dean tried to free himself but was unable to loosen her grip. She pressed the knife against his throat, he felt how a warm liquid ran down his neck were the pressure of the knife had already cut his skin.
"Ruby...?!", he hissed through grinted teeth when it finally dawned to him.
The smirk on her face got even bigger. "Surprised to see me? Sammy let the door open for me."
Deans eyes widened a little. "What do you mean?"
"Such a shame that I can't tell you without killing you first...", she whispered and pressed the knife to his throat a little tighter. Dean closed his eyes, hoping that it won't hurt as much as the last time. He was silently saying goodbye to Sammy when something changed.
Everything happened so fast. Ruby gasped, a strange light flickering beneath her skin as she fell to the ground. Deans eyes saw how her eyes went dull, loosing every kind of life they had kept before. When his eyes lifted from the dead body on the floor he met Castiels gaze. As he looked into those oceans of blue he tought he saw worry and relief for a second.
Once they had locked eyes none of them could look away anymore. The deep blue of Castiels eyes made the twinge in Deans heart speak up once more. He tried to focus on finding words, he wanted to thank him even though he still thought he was a stupid ass, who was trying to get him to believe in angels, but god damn he saved him twice now. He heared how his brother shifted in his bed, followed by a huge gasp.
Castiel was the one of them to look away first. He threw a look at the younger Winchester for not quite a second before locking eyes with Dean again just to disappear a second later. This time Dean could swear that he saw a sad glimmer darkening the blue.
Dean looked at the point were the angel had been Standing seconds ago. His brother had jumped out of bed and was now standing besides Dean.
"Ruby?!"
Dean heard the panic in his younger brothers voice and frowned.
"Is- Is she... dead?", Sam stuttered while kneeling down next to the dead body. Dean slightly nodded.
"Castiel... he killed her.", Dean answered as he whiped the blood off of his throat.
"What?!"
Sams voice was a little pitched, Dean noticed Sams sadness and worried. Hadn't Sam told him that he had stayed away from Ruby when he had been dead?
"She held a knife to my throat Sam! She was trying to kill me what was he supposed to do?!", again he was defending Castiel for some reason.
"Shut up! She would never do this!", his brother snapped.
Deans eyebrows lifted and his eyes widened.
"I think I have misheard you, haven't I? She said you opened her the doors or something like that while she held a fucking knife against my throat! Tell me what the hell is going on!", Dean yelled.
"Not now.", Sam murmured while getting up. "We have a body to hide so we haven't got the time to argue about that..."
With those words he started to wrap up the body in one of the thin blankets. His face was pale and Dean could swear that there were tears in the edges of his eyes. Sam was hiding something and Dean wasn't sure if he wanted to know what was going on.
Nearly a week passed without any incidents. Sam was avoiding this thing during the whole hunting job they were on, but when the case was closed Dean came to speak to him about it. Sam was trapped now. His brother wouldn't give up and he just couldn't keep on lying.
So he told him the truth and watching how Deans green eyes turned cold nearly distroyed him. Sam told him that he was sorry over and over again while Dean just grabbed his keys, put on his old leather jacket and slammed the door shut behind him. He left Sam behind in the motel room all alone, heading over to 'baby' and pulling out of the parking lot.
Damn did he need a drink at that moment.
Castiel had always feared the moment Dean would find out about Sam and Ruby. He always thought about what he'd do if he found out some day and now Castiel knew it.
Dean was sitting in a bar emptying vodka shots one by one, when Castiel appeared on the bar stool next to him. Dean glared at Castiel with cold green eyes, too drunk to notice the worried glimmer in those orbs of blue.
"Fuck off Castiel.", he mumbled while lifting the cold glass onto his lips again.
Castiel felt his heart crack. He had never seen Dean like this. He tried to keep the control over his feelings, but right there, at this moment it was impossible for him to act like a heartless asshole.
"What happened?", Castiel asked even though he already knew. Dean wondered a little about the concern in the angels voice.
"Why would you care?!", he replied roughly.
"I saved you, Dean. Not only once, twice by now. I think it shows that I care at least a little."
Castiel was lying. He didn't care about him, he loved him. He'd do everything to keep Dean from getting harmed, but he had to keep lying. Dean didn't remember.
"Maybe you shouldn't have saved me in the first place.", Dean murmured and glared at the angel. Castiel saw the anger in Deans expression and body language but in his eyes he saw the sadness.
"Why did you safe me Castiel?"
Castiel bit his lips, not able to find words. He had no plan how to explain Dean the whole thing.
"I- I...", he stuttered, running his fingers through his messy hair.
"See? No reasons to save me. I don't deserve being saved! You know who deserves being saved? Good people! People like... like Jess! Or Mom! Why didn't you safe them?", Dean snapped. Castiel barely heard him add a whispered I should've stayed dead.
That was enough. Castiel grabbed the collar of Deans jacket and forced Dean to look at him. As their eyes met, Dean winced because of the ice cold Castiel gave him.
"I know that you think that you don't deserve to be saved but surprise: IT'S NOT YOUR CHOICE! And now stop pittying yourself!"
Dean nodded quickly and as Castiel saw that, he let go of him immediatly. Dean swallowed hard but kept the eye-contact. When Castiel had held him up he had felt that twinge again, it had been worse than the last few times because it had been strong enough to break through the thick haze of alcohol that was currently dulling all of his emotions.
"You still didn't really answer my question.", Dean said a little sheepish.
"I saved you because I had no other choice, Dean. They wanted you to break the first seal, that's why they offered you to torture souls. I needed to stop that, because if you did, nothing could have stopped Lilith from breaking the other seals. Her intent is to free Lucifer what would mean that hell rises.", Castiel told Dean with a sigh and looked at his hands, "That would mean that not only humanity but also my family is doomed. I couldn't let that happen."
Dean started to feel bad for being so rude before. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe not, but he started to think that Castiel wasn't as bad as he thought.
"I- ... I'm sorry Cas", wait did he just?, "-tiel", he quickly added. Even if Castiel was nice it was no reason to give him a nickname already.
"That's just the alcohol Dean...", Castiel said and Dean saw how a halfhearted smile was playing around the angels lips.
"C'mon I'm not as that drunk!", Dean laughed in a slightly better mood now.
"Yes you are.", the angel said while the smile started to grow bigger.
For a moment they just sat in a comfortable silence. Castiel missed it to talk to Dean, even if he didn't remember. It seemed to dull the pain a little.
"I think you should go back to your room and go to sleep Dean. It's really late already.", the angel said as he noticed how hard Dean was trying to keep his eyes open.
"Hm...? Oh ... sleep of Course...", Dean mumbled running his fingers through his hair. He was now trying to get up from the bar stool without falling off of it.
"Uhm but I don't really... do I really have to?", he whined when he was finally standing, waiting for Castiel to get up too.
Castiel just nodded and stepped to Deans side, putting an arm around his shoulder to keep him up.
"I don't want to... I...", Dean bit his lip. He hadn't even told Sam about that.
"Nightmares?", the angel asked. Dean looked at him with big eyes.
"How did you know?"
Castiel felt the heat rushing into his cheeks. He had to look away because if he had looked into Deans questioning eyes any longer, he probably would've told Dean everything.
"I uhm - I ... once had a- ", Castiel stuttered, looking for words while nervously rubbing his neck. " uhm a friend with similar Problems..."
Dean just nodded, not noticing how strange the angel was acting.
"You're not driving like that Dean.", Castiel said crossing his arms while he was watching Dean who attempted to get in the drivers seat.
"Yeah and I'm not walking home and leaving my Baby behind!", Dean answered and sounded like a little child not wanting to let go of his favorite teddy bear.
"I could teleport you into your room if you want to. You'd only have to come here again to take your car home.", Castiel suggested.
"That's not just a car! That's my Baby and I'm not leaving her behind.", he said crossing his arm in front of his chest as stubborn as he was.
Castiel sighed. "Fine! I'll drive."
Deans eyes widened a little, silently judging the angel.
"Don't take that as an insult but, no. No one drives my Baby except me. And sometimes Sam, but just on special occasions, like, when I'm dead!"
Castiel rolled his eyes, walking over to Dean who was still frowning at him. He opened the backseat door, shoving the Winchester inside the car. Dean just groweled something like: 'stupid angel' or 'son of a bitch' but then rolled up into a fetal position and snuggled into the soft leather of the backseat.
Castiel fondly smiled at him even if he felt like crying on the inside. The last time he saw Dean like that was in heaven, after he had kissed him one last time. The angel tried to put himself together again and quietly closed the door.
When he climbed onto the drivers seat, Castiel took a deep breath. He had never driven a car before.
'Stay calm Castiel, you pulled Dean out of hell! You can pull a car out of the parking lot!'
