AN: Oh my gosh, you guys are great! You should've seen my face when I read your wonderful reviews! All I could say now is thank you so much for everything! Your support and love for this story! I hope you all keep reading; love you all!
"So how did it go?" Sofi asked, peering at Joel carefully in the car as they drove back to their house.
Joel just shook his head and let out a shaky breath. Obviously not good. Sofi wanted to so badly hug Joel and comfort him. She remembered feeling this way once before, like the whole world was against her and she felt hopeless... well, that's what she thought Joel felt like.
Sofi sighed and leaned her head back against the seat, closing her eyes and just meditating on the way she felt about this whole situation. She didn't like it, of course! It was making her best friend upset and no matter what she offered to help, he wouldn't accept any. He was so stubborn.
Sofi heard a light gasp come from Joel and quickly looked over. He was crying.
It was the next morning and Sonny stayed in bed, listening to the loud radio alarm and not moving an inch. He was sick. No, not physically sick; mentally sick. He wanted to curl up into a tight little ball and wither away. His stomach painfully begged to be fed, but he just ignored it. He didn't deserve the pleasure that came with food. He was ready to just give up.
"Sonny, babe?" A knock on the door, "Can I come in?"
Sonny really didn't want any visitors, but he allowed his mom to enter the room. She came over to his bedside and shut the alarm off. She felt his forehead.
"I know you're bullshitting being sick," She frowned. Sonny sighed, "But you can stay home anyway,"
Sonny looked at Francis in surprise as she smiled. She sat down on the bed next to him and began braiding his hair.
"I remember I was about your age when I broke up with my first boyfriend. It was tragic, yes, because I was in love with him, but I learned to overcome it. He was a first boyfriend after all," She said softly, "Not saying that you weren't in love with Joel, but you can't let that control your life, Sonny." She kissed the side of his shave head and smoothed out his hair, "Did you want breakfast? The hospital said you didn't eat anything all day yesterday. You must be starving,"
"I'll make something when I get up," Sonny assured her.
She smiled and then got up from the bed and walked toward the door, "I have to go to work soon; my number is on the fridge. There's eggs and ham in the fridge and fresh bread on the counter. Call me if you need anything,"
"Ok," Sonny smiled, "Oh, and mom," Sonny called. Francis turned around to look at Sonny, "Thank you. I love you," Sonny said quietly.
Sonny's mom smiled, she was relieved she finally did something right.
"Love you too, baby," She nodded and left the room.
And with that, she was gone. And Sonny was alone once again.
He enjoyed the silence now and wanted to so desperately use this valuable time to sleep, but that was interrupted when his cell phone vibrated, telling him that there was a message in his inbox.
He knew it was Rudy. Who else would it be? Wouldn't be Joel. Sonny figured Joel was probably upset with him. Sonny didn't want to talk to him either right now. But, nonetheless, he checked his phone. And to his surprise, it was Lilah.
He sat up straight, fully awake now and read the message slowly.
"Hey Sonny, sorry to hear you had a little trip to the hospital. Are you alright? Text me back ASAP," ~Lilah
Sonny gnawed on his lip and then listened intently for any sign or noise that assured him his mother was still in the house. All he heard was a subtle goodbye and the door slamming shut. The metal lock had clicked and Sonny knew he was now alone.
He pressed the "call back" button and pushed the phone back his hair to his ear. A buzzing sound grew loud on the phone and then Lilah's voice loud and clear over the receiver.
"Hey Sonny, I heard what happened, Rudy told the gang everything! Are you okay?" Lilah panted, almost like she was out of breath from running.
"Yeah, I'm alright, just a little bump on my head, that's all," Sonny's anger boiled deep inside him. He couldn't believe Rudy would tell everyone what happened. Sonny quietly stared as Lilah rambled on about nothing. His mind couldn't function.
They all knew what happened.
"Isn't that right?" Lilah asked.
Sonny shook the negative out of his head and tried to remember what Lilah had just said.
"Sorry, what did you say?"
Lilah sighed, "I said thank god Rudy just so happened to be at the book store when you slipped and hit your head or you might've been laying out in the cold for a while."
"... Book store?" Sonny paused and pulled his eyebrows into a half-worried half-angered expression.
"Yeah, you probably hit your head really hard so you don't remember that, but Rudy was just walking past the book store and saw that you slipped exiting it. You hit your head on the metal railing and fell to the ground. You must've slipped on ice. Rudy brought you to the hospital and registered you in and everything. He said he was even willing to pay the fee for the hospital visitation, but then he remembered that we have free health care." She laughed, "Rudy cares about people a lot, sometimes a little too much. He said he insisted that the doctors keep you in a little longer to make sure you didn't have any minor injuries, but the doctors just laughed and said you'd be perfectly fine to go back home."
Sonny thought about this and tried to let this new information sink in. When it did, he found himself smiling and speechless.
Rudy really did care about how Sonny felt about this whole confusing relationship between them. Sonny was starting to figure out why he found Rudy so intriguing. Did Sonny have an attraction towards him? Of course he did. Did Sonny like him? Absolutely. But was Sonny slowly slipping into a hopeless love? He hoped to God he wasn't. He prayed to God he wasn't.
He didn't want to be sucked in again... but he was.
Joel was sitting at the edge of the bed and looking out the tiny window that peeked right from the ceiling on his wall. It was the only visible view from the downstairs of Sofi's house, but it was really all he needed.
Joel could see the tall building and the dark sky and the smog rising from the roofs. The honking and screeching of the cars were like a lullaby to him now. The dogs barking and cats fighting and people yelling and talking to each other silently put him to sleep. It was everything he needed.
He tried to pry Sonny's face out of his memory. He tried to hook up with women again, but it would never work. He always requested doggy-style so he wouldn't have to look at their faces, and when he was in the heat of the moment, he would grab for dark locks of tangled hair and scream out his ex-lover's name. It really put the ladies off, but Joel didn't give a shit. He just went back home and cried like a child.
Joel blew out the smoke of the cigarette he was holding so tightly that it threatened to break. He gnawed on his lip and then pushed himself off the bed to get a better view outside. Meowington's jumped down from his curling spot on the bed and purred against Joel's leg.
"Hey there, fatass," Joel smiled down at the cat and pet it soothingly.
A groan, followed by the rustling of sheets made Joel turn his head to see a raven-haired women with Hispanic features pull the sheets off her naked torso.
Kat was sitting up and stretching her tattooed arms out in front of her, her eyes still closed and makeup-less. He rubbed her eyes and then opened them to look at Joel.
"Hey babe," She yawned, "Come back to bed," She pulled the covers slightly down and Joel gave her a tiny smile.
He walked over to the bed and crawled into it again. Kat instantly took Joel's cigarette and smoked it herself, wrapping her arms around Joel's long and slender body and nestling up into his hair.
No, they didn't have sex. Kat refused it, even though Joel didn't want it anyway. He needed company and Kat was there to provide it. Joel didn't want to invite Sofi for an overnight stay, in fear that her mother would break down the door and assume the worst and kick Joel back out onto the streets.
Joel couldn't afford to be homeless at this state. He would probably end up killing himself.
Kat thumbed away the tears that mindlessly leaked from Joel's eyes. Kat kissed his hair and sighed.
"You're so fragile," She chuckled lightly.
"I know," Joel mumbled and wiped away his own tears and taking back his cigarette, "I hate it,"
"No, you shouldn't! It's a rare trait for a male to have," Kat patted his shoulder and then hoisted herself off the bed.
Joel looked back at her as she bent over. He stared at her nude ass for a split second, then looked down at the sheets when she sprung back up with a shirt in hand. She rushed around and pulling her clothes on after she glanced at the clock.
"You late for something?" Joel asked, resting his head on his hands.
"No, not really, but I should get back to my place and start packing for the week." She said, pulling on her pants and then grabbing her wallet and keys off the night table to stuff in her pocket, "I'm going to my friend's house in Matawa for the week. Takes thirteen hours or so to get there, so it's better if I leave either today or tomorrow."
"Ah, sounds nice,"
"You should come," Kat smiled at Joel and flopped on the bed, "It would be a good break away from your troubling life," She mocked and then laughed.
Joel rolled his eyes but smiled, "Maybe,"
"Oh just come, here, I'll help you pack. You'll love it there." Kat got off the bed once again and flung Joel's closet open.
Joel sighed and laid back down on the bed.
It was still early in the morning and he was not looking forward to driving with a bunch of strangers for thirteen plus hours... but then again, it might take his mind off of Sonny.
Joel stared up at the ceiling. Even though he didn't want to lose Sonny for good, he knew the best he could do was to let him go. Let him venture the world and different people for as long as he wanted. Joel knew that he still wanted Sonny, but his heart begged him not to try to get involved anymore. It was tearing Joel apart, but at least he had good friends to look to...
Friends.
He sat up and watched as Kat neatly folded his worn-out plaid shirt and fixed it in a neat pile of already-folded items. Joel smiled and then got off the and walked around to Kat's side.
Kat looked at him and smiled. He gave a tiny smile and then rested his hand on her shoulder. She surprisingly looked at it and then looked back at Joel in shock and confusion. Joel brushed his fingers across her cheekbone and watched her eyelashes flutter.
"Can I kiss you?" Joel whispered.
Kat looked deeply into his eyes, searching for reassurement, and when she found it, she silently nodded and then followed Joel's lips as they got closer to hers.
Joel didn't feel like himself anymore, but he liked the feeling of Kat's lips; warm, full, and a little moist. He could taste a hint of morning breath, but it didn't bother him. He rested a hand gently on her waist and brought her closer to him.
She placed her hands on his chest and pulled her face away from his to look into his eyes.
"A-are you sure you want to do this right now?" Kat asked sincerely.
Joel chuckled and examined Kat's flushed face. He didn't say a word, he just kissed her again.
After a minute in their passionate phase, they broke free from one another. They looked at each other for a long time until Kat cleared her throat and looked to the ground. Joel raised an eyebrow.
"What's wrong?" He asked quietly.
Kat shook her head and gave him a little smile, "Let's just... continue packing, alright?"
Joel was confused... was she not happy about the kiss, or maybe that was just how women reacted? Joel never paid attention to the women he kissed, but Kat was different in a way. There was something he really liked about her.
Sonny was clutching his stomach in pain, curled into the fetal position as a loud grumble shook him. He felt nauseous, but every time he ran to the bathroom to throw up, nothing would happen. He dry headed into his pillow and then pressed his lips together and hardened his expression.
The house phone rang and Sonny picked it up. It was his mom who was just checking up on how he was doing and if he needed anything. Sonny responded with a subtle "no" which threw Francis off a bit, but excused herself from the phone to yell at a client at work. She said goodbye and Sonny hung up.
His pains went away and he walked into the kitchen to open the fridge. He took out a cooling pitcher of lemon water and poured himself a large glass. He gulped it down in seconds and then sat himself on the couch to watch some TV.
He mindlessly chewed on his last remaining un-chewed nail and sighed. He started this habit ever since he visited Joel's home... Sofi's home. Sonny never really liked the fact that his boyfriend might be bisexual. Sonny was never fond of that orientation, he didn't understand it nor did he ever fully accept it. He never knew a person could like both girls and guys on the sexual level, he found it odd.
Sonny remembered his encounters with women before in grade-school, but never did he like them like that.
Sonny replayed the argument he and Joel had at the hospital in his head again and closed his eyes tightly, begging himself not to cry. When he was sure he wasn't going to shed a tear, he reopened his eyes and looked at the cabinet under the TV.
He paused when he remembered what he'd stored in there. He got up and walked over, landing on his knees and opening the door. There held his 16th birthday gift from Joel: the Ableton Live Controller and beginners' CD-ROM. He didn't smile when he saw it like he thought he would. He just stared at it, emotionless. He used it every day for four months and praised the grounds Joel walked on for getting it for him. But as he looked at it now... the magic was gone.
Would he ever use it again? Probably not. But something deep inside him felt empty when he looked at the controller and ran his fingers across all the buttons. He took it out and dusted it off with the sleeve of his shirt before bringing it to the kitchen. He grabbed his laptop off his nightstand and then reunited it with the Ableton. He was hesitant as he watched his computer load up.
And as he set the program up and plugged in the extension, the smile he thought would never show up again, did. And he felt happy.
Was feeling happy ever this easy? No, not for Sonny.
He spent the rest of the day playing with sounds and effects and sooner or later brought out his keyboard and created tunes from that. When he was done, he sat back in the chair and re-played his song... he was proud that he finally created a new song. When his mother came home, he played the song for her and she smiled.
"It's pretty good. What are you going to call it?" She asked, turning on the stove, readying herself for dinner-making.
Sonny thought about this and then closed his eyes. When he did, all he saw was Joel's face at the back of his eyelids. He opened his eyes and looked down at his hands.
"'Not Love'," Sonny mumbled to himself.
"'NodLove'? I'm not sure if that's a real word, sweety, but alright." She laughed a little and started the blender.
Sonny wanted to correct her, but then gave up and looked back at his creation. He smiled and saved the file.
That night, Sonny was beginning to feel a little better and was invited to hang out with Rudy and his friends. Sonny agreed to. He really didn't need to be cautious when going out anymore. All he had to do was keep reminding himself that he didn't have a boyfriend, that he was free to do whatever he wanted. Sonny smiled on that thought, but at the same time he felt so small and insecure.
Rudy jumped up from his seat at the museum cafe and called Sonny over as soon as he entered the large building.
Sonny greeted everyone before taking a seat that Rudy saved just for him.
The rest of the evening went wonderfully and Sonny was exhausted, watching his friends jump and slide down the stairs of the museum. Sonny was caught by surprise when warm fingers slipped through his own. He looked at Rudy and gave him a tiny smile. Rudy smiled back and they just stood there, looking at each other.
"We'll see you guys at school tomorrow, okay?" Lawrence called out and wrapped an arm around Hannah.
Lilah gave us a subtle wave and a wink.
Sonny pressed his lips together and looked at the ground. Rudy caressed Sonny's cheek and made him look up again.
"Do you want me to drive you home?" Rudy asked with a smile.
Sonny nodded and was led to the Honda.
Once inside, Sonny breathed in the familiar scent of pine and waited for Rudy to start the car. When he did, they drove off in a different direction. Sonny decided not to ask questions and closed his eyes and just let it be. He didn't care anymore where they went. He didn't want to go home.
Rudy pulled up to a familiar apartment. Sonny looked over at Rudy and Rudy smiled again. Sonny nodded and got out of the car while Rudy followed.
Once inside the apartment, Sonny realized that nobody else was home and immediately knew what was going on. He turned around and watched Rudy take his coat off, then his sweater, and then his shoes. Sonny just stood there and waited for Rudy to look at him, and when he did, there was no more smiling.
Rudy slowly walked up to Sonny and looked him in the eyes, dragging two hands up Sonny's coated torso and then latched onto the zipper. As he slowly pulled down the zipper, Sonny closed his eyes. The weight of the jacket was subtracted and sooner or later the sweater was too. Sonny wedged off his shoes and then looked at Rudy.
Rudy slid a hand down Sonny's arm and latched onto his wrist, leading him down the hallway. Sonny pressed his lips together, unsure why he was doing this, but glad he was. He had to get it off his chest before he found himself begging and crying at Joel's feet like he almost did last time.
Sonny went straight to the bed and stood there, watching as Rudy rushed to shut and lock the door before turning around and eyeing Sonny suspiciously, as if he thought this whole thing was some sort of test. Sonny just answered the question by removing his shirt and letting it drop carelessly on the ground.
Rudy licked his lips nervously and then eyed Sonny's torso. His eyes told a confusing story but Sonny wasn't about to try and read them, instead he undid his pants and used body language to get Rudy to touch him. Rudy did as he was telepathically told and ran cold fingers down Sonny's torso, watching every rib and muscle twitch and move to the foreign swoon.
Rudy slowly pulled Sonny's pants down to his ankles and then, while on his knees, removed his own shirt and stared anxiously at Sonny's face. Sonny nodded and closed his eyes when he saw Rudy quickly spring up and grab hold of Sonny's shoulders, spinning him around and pushing him into the mattress Sonny took a deep breath when he felt the last form of protection leave his ass.
An adventurous hand spread Sonny's legs apart and then began to stroke him from behind. Sonny inhaled again and let out a static moan into the sheets. Rudy gathered Sonny's hair over his shoulder and then kissed the tiny freckle hiding behind Sonny's neck before he licked it. Sonny didn't want this cheesy foreplay. He just wanted to get it over with.
Sonny grabbed onto Rudy's hand around his cock and tightened the grip. He heard a sharp breath come from Rudy as Sonny tried not to moan again. He moved Rudy's hand up and down his shaft and then let it go when he thought Rudy got the hang of it.
The friction was harsh, but Sonny didn't care.
"Don't stop," Sonny panted and Rudy obeyed.
Rudy was pumping his fist faster and panting as kissed Sonny's back. Sonny's mouth was agape and his eyes tightly closed, feeling a familiar build-up occur deep inside him. After a couple minutes later, Sonny was flipped around and quickly engulfed by Rudy. Sonny gasped. He was totally surprised by this and couldn't help himself from moaning and whining as Rudy worked him tongue like fucking magic.
Clutching onto the sheets, Sonny made a noise high enough to break glass, but instead he let out a gasp and released his tensing stomach just as Rudy pulled away. Slowly breathing in and out and trying to steady his breathing, he felt Rudy kiss at his stomach and chest where his release ended up. Sonny burned up suddenly as he realized that this was the first time anyone's sucked him off before.
Rudy was silent when he was done with kissing and collapsed next to Sonny. He took a deep breath in. Sonny looked at him and watched as his chest rose and fell quickly. Sonny pressed his lips together and looked down at the sheets, picking off some loose lint.
Rudy looked over at Sonny and smiled, still out of breath. Sonny gave him a tiny smile and curled up beside him. Rudy, with a little hesitation, wrapped his arms around Sonny.
"We should get these sheets cleaned before my aunt comes home..." Rudy said after a few moments of silence.
Sonny laughed, "I guess we should."
Sonny peeled away from Rudy and looked at his blue eyes. He wasn't sure what to say but he was starting to feel a little more comfortable with Rudy. Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy after all?
Sonny pressed a slow kiss to his lips and the released, jumping up to find his clothes. Rudy stay motionless on the bed still, smiling up at the ceiling and closing his eyes.
AN: I KNOW, I'M SUPER LATE WITH THIS CHAPTER AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF STUPID EXAMS! But exams are all finished now and I have more time to write, yay!
