Chapter Eleven: Open Up
"Well, if it isn't my best friend's boyfriend," Glinda said, taking the seat beside him. "How's your relationship with my roommate?"
He looked around him. No one else had entered the histories classroom yet. "Just like it should be." Glinda made him uneasy, though he'd never tell her that. It was like the girl could read minds.
"You did buy her an awfully nice gift. Were the emeralds real?"
"Yes."
"She doesn't know that, though, does she? That's a lot of money to spend on her when no one would ever know the difference. You should've seen her face when she showed it to me. I don't think she's taken it off since."
He tried not to smile at that. "Really?"
Glinda raised her eyebrows at him. "You two are so clueless. Just make it real, already. This little pretense is doing no one any good."
"You're mistaken," he assured her. "We've just gotten good at it."
"Fine. But I'll just remind you of what I said. If you hurt her, you're going to be incredibly sorry." Her grey eyes were like icy daggers.
"You know, Glinda, I don't think Elphaba would appreciate that you're talking about her like this. Perhaps we shouldn't be having this conversation."
When he saw Elphaba at lunch that day, he kissed her hard, loving the way her body molded against his when he put a hand on her hip. She looked up at him with eyes that made him want to do so much more than kiss her. Loudly, she said, "Good afternoon, my sweet."
"I love you." He'd warned her he'd intended to say it, and she'd been fine with that. "You look lovely today." He meant it.
Her eyes changed. "Fiyero, I told you I don't like compliments." Except she hadn't, not quite. She'd said she wasn't one for excessive affection, yes, and he supposed compliments qualified.
"I'm sorry. Sometimes I can't help myself."
"Ugh, would you two please stop? We're trying to eat over here," Avaric gagged.
Nessa was watching them utter horror and Nanny was smirking. Glinda was staring, too. "I apologize." He pulled out a chair for Elphaba before he sat down, sliding a hand onto her knee under the table.
She pushed his hand away and cleared her throat. "You'd better apologize. I hate it when you get like that." He would be hearing about this later, of that he was sure.
"What in Oz were you doing?" She demanded. He hadn't even greeted her and she'd just strode into his room. "Fiyero, that was a bit much."
"I got carried away."
"Carried away? And that thing with my knee? No one could see that. It was pointless."
"Look, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to sell this." The truth was that every time he touched her, he couldn't help himself. He wanted to just wrap himself up in her and breathe her in. There was absolutely no denying that. But he was afraid that if he told her, she'd run, she'd break their deal and he couldn't risk it, no matter how badly he wanted to.
"I know, Fiyero, but I told you at the beginning, even if I did love someone, I would not be like that all the time. It's not like it was my birthday or we were about to leave for vacation and not see one another for a while. It was lunch!" Her hands were balled up in fists. "And Glinda? Do you have any idea what she's going to say to me when I get back to my room?"
"That it was believable?" But he knew he'd probably be getting a lecture, too.
"If you don't back down, Fiyero, I'll put an end to this," she threatened.
"I will. I apologized. Please, Elphaba, calm down. I got carried away. It won't happen again." He took her hand gently. "I didn't mean to."
She froze for a moment when he touched her, and he watched the anger dissipate from her eyes. "Fine." Cautiously drawing her hand away, she said, "I understand, really. Sometimes when you kiss me I get a little heated, too, but that's a natural physical response, I suppose."
He could feel the way he affected her sometimes, and he wanted to know what it would be like if he were touching her in other ways, if she'd be just as deliciously responsive. This was beyond out of hand, and they both knew it. Neither one of them had the heart to stop it, or to tell the other. He had to give her the option to get out, though, even if he knew it would break him. "Elphaba, if you want to back out..."
"I didn't say that." She cut him off. "We've come too far for that."
Fiyero nodded. "I was hoping you'd feel that way."
She took a deep breath and sat down on his bed. "You really are a handful, you know that, right? I feel bad for whoever you do end up falling in love with."
He laughed and sat next to her. "You're handling me quite well."
"I don't feel as completely lost as I thought I would doing this, to be honest."
"You've never done this before, have you?"
"Been in a pretend relationship?" She rolled her eyes. "No."
"Been in one at all."
She was quiet for a moment. "Not really, no. What about you?"
"Not really." He knew they both weren't saying something. She was hiding what Glinda had told him and he wasn't telling her what he'd done back home. Why was he hiding from her? This wasn't real; she wouldn't care. So he said, "I slept with one or two girls in my village back home, actually, but I wouldn't call what we did a relationship. I think they just wanted the brag that they'd slept with the prince. And I didn't quite mind at the time, either."
Elphaba's leg brushed against his slightly. "There was a boy... but I wouldn't call it that, no." She was staring at her lap.
"What happened?"
"I wasn't used to the attention. No one warned me that sometimes that's all a man wants, and to be careful. I suppose no one thought it would apply to me. So I fell for it, at least until one day I overheard the way he was talking about me and I figured it out on my own."
He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry that happened to you."
She stiffened a little but relaxed after a moment. "Lesson learned. No harm done."
"Is that why you're doing this? Because it'll keep people away from you?"
"Partially, yes. I don't need that again. Honestly, I got over it fairly quickly, but for the time I was involved with him, I refused to see it. I can't let myself be blinded like that again. This world is a dark place, Fiyero, and my eyes need to be open."
He squeezed her shoulder and let go of her. "I understand."
"The only other person who knows that story is Glinda."
"I won't tell anyone."
"I know." She smiled sadly. "Sometimes I find myself telling you things I never intended to. How do you do that?"
"Don't ask me."
"I'm glad we can stay friends through this."
"Me, too." He nudged her gently. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For doing this, all of it. I realize that it's strange and things aren't exactly clear-cut between us."
"Fiyero, don't." She shook her head violently. "Let's not talk about that. I don't need this conversation. I appreciate that things are getting confused in our heads. That's just what happens when you lie to people this long; you start to believe it, too. That's all it is."
"I know that. I was just saying I appreciate that you're able to see it that way, too." He lied.
"I'm more reasonable than most people." She gathered her things. "I should go. And don't you dare kiss me goodbye."
He laughed. "Hug, then?" Fiyero stood holding the door for her.
"If I must." But he felt the way she relaxed in his arms, despite how quickly she pulled away from him. "Goodbye, my love." He saw her eyes dart down the hall to an open door.
"Goodbye, darling." He knew now he wanted more from her, but he also knew he couldn't ever tell her, not even when this was over. Even if they both wanted it, she didn't need it. And he wouldn't do that to her.
