Chapter 10: Pick up- (Edward's POV)
I watched Jacob phase before he ran off into the night, his memory of his recent moments with Bella being relived in his head in graphic detail.
"Jake, I'm happy for you, man, but will you please stop?" Embry complained.
Embarrassed, Jacob focused on the forest around him, and as he got further away, I was gladly able to get out of his head.
Staying where I was, in a tall pine tree overlooking Bella's back yard, I went over everything that had happened since I left Bella eating dinner with her father that evening.
I should have known that I would not have been able to win Bella back. I had hurt her so badly. I had felt her heart rate increase when I had kissed her, but she had not responded with her usual fervour.
I hadn't intended to kiss her. But, being so close to her in that small room, I couldn't help myself. She seemed to have chosen Jacob Black for no other reason than necessity. I wanted to show her that she still had a choice.
And still, she has chosen Jacob.
After Alice and I left Bella and her father eating dinner, I had been tempted to stay. Alice, though, had convinced me that I still needed to speak to Carlisle and Esme, as I had barely had time to speak with them since I returned to Forks.
Alice drove, while I had sat in the backseat, watching Bella's house fade into the distance. Jasper was in the passenger seat. Alice had been right, as usual, to ask Jasper to be nearby when I arrived, as it was only with his help that Charlie had even let me into the house.
It was also thanks to Jasper's influence that I didn't jump out of the car and run back to Bella's house.
'Edward, I really wish that you would calm down'. Jasper thought as Alice sped past a campervan, while turning the stereo up.
"I can't calm down." I muttered, watching Alice's visions as she skipped ahead in time. Still, her visions alternated between Bella walking down the stairs of our house in a white wedding dress, looking more beautiful than I had ever seen her, to seeing me watching an older Bella play with two children in the snow outside Charlie's house.
As much as I loved watching Bella walk down the stairs in the wedding dress, my masochistic mind focused on that future winter's day: I couldn't quite identify the features of the two children in Alice's vision, but I could tell they were a boy and a girl. And they had brown skin.
They were Jacob Black's children.
And they were Bella's children.
I had tried to think objectively about this scene as we drove. Bella would make a wonderful mother, I was sure. But I knew that if she became part of our family, that possibility would sooner or later be taken from her. I thought of Rosalie's despair at never being able to have children, and I did not want Bella to feel that bitterness. The Bella playing in the snow in Alice's vision did indeed look older, there were lines around her eyes, but her face lit up with pure joy as she played with her children.
Who was I to take that joy away from her?
As Alice pulled the car into the garage, her vision shifted slightly. The wedding scene became more blurred, while the snow scene became clearer. I could actually hear the children's laughter now, mingling with the laughter of their mother. Bella's voice sounded slightly different, it was more matured, but I would recognise it anywhere.
'Edward, what just happened?' Alice demanded as she put the car in park, noticing the new clarity.
I didn't say anything as I stepped out of the car.
All I had ever wanted for Bella, was for her to be happy. Seeing Alice's vision, I knew that, if I succeeded in making Bella choose me again, than those two children would never exist, and Bella would never know the joys of being a mother. But I would always have the memory of that vision in my mind. For eternity, I would know that I had taken that possibility away from her, simply for my own selfishness.
Could I do that to her? Who was I to make that decision? I had promised myself that I would no longer make any unilateral decisions again. But if I continued to try and win Bella back, knowing what I would be taking away from her, wouldn't that count as a unilateral decision?
Later, when Alice's vision of the current Bella blanked out, I knew that Jacob had probably decided to see Bella despite our arrangement that Alice would be picking her up.
Though I knew that Bella was no longer mine to protect, I still didn't trust Jacob not to hurt her, especially if he found out about my kissing her earlier. I knew how quick the wolves were to anger, and I didn't want to risk Bella getting hurt. So, I ran to Bella's house to sit in the pine tree.
As usual, fate allowed me to arrive at the moment of Bella telling Jacob that she still chooses him. I truly was a glutton for punishment.
When I eventually heard Alice drive up to Bella's house, I climbed out of the tree and dashed over to the car, Emmett had lent his jeep for the more rugged terrain. Alice was just getting out, while Esme sat in the passenger seat.
We had decided that Esme would actually be the one to carry Bella to the meeting area. Even though Emmett had wanted to find out her reaction to running at his speed through the forest, Rosalie didn't like the idea of Emmett carrying Bella, so he backed down for the sake of his wife. Though Carlisle had been fine with the idea of him carrying Bella, we thought that, as the 'leader' of our family, it would be best for Carlisle to be one of the first of us there to greet the Wolf Pack.
So, Esme volunteered to carry Bella instead, with me and Alice running with them. I had agreed to not carrying her, but that didn't mean I couldn't still be there. And I was determined to spend every moment I could with her, for even though I could see that she truly was no longer mine, I still loved her. That was one thing I knew that would never change.
"Edward, what are you doing?" Alice asked me when I came to stand beside her. "The other vision has been getting clearer ever since you left the house."
"Don't worry Alice." I tried to sound reassuring as I climbed into the back seat, but her thoughts told me that she was getting worried. Alice wanted her sister and best friend back, and she wanted the white wedding scene to come true. Whatever it took.
"What do you mean by 'the other vision'?" Esme asked, curious.
"I've been having a split vision lately, depending on Bella's choice." Alice explained before I could reassure my mother that it was nothing for her to be concerned about. "In one vision, I see Bella walking down the stairs of our house in a wedding dress. And in the other, I see an older Bella playing with two children in the snow outside Charlie's house, while Edward watches from the shadows."
Alice then turned and nimbly climbed up to Bella's window and into her room, leaving me with my mother.
How could Alice have done this to me?
A.N: Sorry for the long update, and I know that this doesn't say much, but I am trying to keep as close as I can to what I know of each character's personalities, and I know Edward wants Bella to have a human life more than anything. The next chapter I am planning on writing in Esme's POV, and it will feature the meeting with the wolf pack. Please review, as I always appreciate constructive feedback. How can I make my writing better?
