"Heyy, pretty lady! You fight that multicolour punk! Man, I wish this wasn't on a screen, a seasoned Adventure Sphere like me would do well in a battle like this."
"Space! Space space! SPACE!"
"Whatever you say, buddy. Cheers for busting us out of that cage, kid, we can really see all the game up here."
"Fact: This is not a game."
"SPPAAACCEE!"
"Hey, calm down, I can't hear anything rainbow-boy might be saying. Oh, I have a good adventure story I can tell you, kiddo. Okay, this one time-"
"Quiet, all of you, before I extract your voice boxes and send you to android hell!" She exclaimed at the Corrupted Spheres, silencing them so that She may not be driven insane. Frisk's idea to set them free and let the cores roll around Her chamber like incompetent footballs wasn't one of their best.
"Woah, okay chief."
"...space..."
Frisk looked on at the screens displaying Chells fight, criticising her moves and believing there was a better and more moral way of doing it. However, as the battle was very close to being won, they didn't really mind, though was too anxious still to touch the cake, in case it all went wrong.
"I made it specially, using the few pieces of equipment that weren't made of lead, asbestos or moon dust. So it is in fact edible. Statistically. Consuming it may induce internal bleeding, but that's fixable."
They tapped at the keyboard beside them.
'you and toriel would get along really well. she makes pies and you make cakes!'
"I highly doubt our compatibility."
'well, you're both reaally nice people'
GLaDOS lowered the shutters on her optic, Her equivalent of frowning. Being referred to in such simplistic terms, just as any other common-or-garden machine, was taking quite some getting used to. 'I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that has ever existed.' She thought. Saying so might have sounded like bragging, however. The cores may have also wanted to bring up the point that most of their kind were created to control and repress Her anyway. She withheld Her metaphorical tongue.
'i don't get it, how can she fight and care so much without a soul' They typed, changing the subject. GLaDOS looked at the child, basically glued to the screen.
"Well, we are from different universes where souls don't really matter, surely that has to count for something." She proposed.
'true, but she's in ours now. where souls do matter. she should be murdering or something bad, or at least unable to feel'
GLaDOS sighed. 'Lecture time it is'
The computer screens blacked out, the desk pulled back through the panels in the walls. To their surprise, Frisk was lifted by a claw and was rotated to face GLaDOS, eye to optic.
"Souls don't matter. Lets take the Narcissus-Flower to goat transition as an example. As a flower without a soul (which is to be expected of all flowers in a reasonable society), he was cruel and wanted to murder you. Now, as a goat with nearly every soul in the underground, he is cruel and wants to murder you. The only difference is a change in form and an increase in power."
Frisk scratched their nose as they swung five feet off the ground, the puzzled expression they wore was analysed by GLaDOS. She continued with yet more evidence.
"If it will help you wrap you're tiny mind around the concept, I'll use myself as an example. Would you say that I had a soul?"
They scrunched their nose up, then nodded vigorously.
"Huh, you read that document about Caroline in my system then. Proud? Very well, I have a soul. I also slaughtered hundreds of scientists and engineers when I was created." She stated, without a slither of remorse or feeling. Frisk tensed, pulling a face of abject horror. However, determined to love and forgive anyway, they tried to cover it up with a solemn look. It was laughable, and GLaDOS indeed snickered.
"This would seem logical if I hadn't a soul. I was reading up on myself, and my personality has been allegedly edited. But if I hadn't a soul, why would I have saved you, made you your own room, or painstakingly made a cake for you to utterly ignore without a second thought."
Frisk gave up trying to keep their head up, and flopped, letting the claw swing with more force. It was difficult for them to think about, but they had to agree with GLaDOS.
"Thus Chell is not evil, and souls don't matter."
"hey kid, what are you up to? just hanging around I see."
Once released, the randomly-appearing Sans was met with a speedy rib-crushing hug. He seemed incredibly happy to see Frisk again, and ran his skeletal fingers through their hair.
"Oh, it's you, I thought you were supposed to be in mortal danger."
"nah, chell got through okay. we were all released, waited a bit, and now everyone is shuffling down to their houses."
Frisk looked up, confused.
"they're all waiting for you, kiddo, but as you might be here a while, we're staying inside comfortably before coming up to the surface with you. some of us wanted to congratulate chell, but she's sort of unconscious. and wheatley now has a cannon as an arm, so that's happening."
The screens came back to show Chell spayed across the floor, and two robots bickering, their dialogue crackling through on the tinny radio.
...
"Wheatley, darling, calm down.".
"How?! What do I do?!"
"She's just sleeping, I think. Can I take her boots, they're gorgeous!"
"No Mettaton! Can we take her to Alphys, just in case? "
"Why, you said she'd only been out for less than 10 minutes."
"Well, yes, but it was a big fight. I can't take any risks."
"Ugh, if it will help you stop panicking I'll stay with you. A celebrity must tend to their fans after all."
"No offence, but I don't think she knows you. At all. Never seen her watch telly anyway-"
"WHAT?! Okay, I'm going to sit here and tell the deprived thing my WHOLE life story, and the scripts from every show I've ever starred in! Everything!"
"Mett-"
"EVERYTHING!"
...
GLaDOS cut off the feed, and turned to Frisk, lowering Herself fractionally.
"You can wait until tomorrow before going back and then up to the surface, but now it's late. Go to bed." She commanded. Frisk let go of Sans, and put their hands on their hips to fully communicate "Fight me.".
"Bed, now. I have important scientific business to attend to."
They crossed their arms, and stepped towards the keyboard.
'I am the future of humans and monsters!'
"Obey me, or I shall get out the turrets."
Defeated, Frisk waved at Sans and shuffled through a panel into their dimly lit (but cosy) room, whilst Sans laughed.
"I'll portal them back to your dimension tomorrow. Now that everyone there is free, will you quit meddling over here?" She queried politely, the best way to deal with powerful beings like him.
"eh, probably."
"Will you give back Chell?"
"eh, probably not. She deserves to be free, right?" He argued. GLaDOS didn't respond.
He clicked his neck and began his goodbyes.
"welp, I'm going to go to grillby's, although this place is mole-cool. sorry; I make science jokes periodically, and hoped you'd have a better reaction"
GLaDOS' whole mainframe shuddered in response to the terrible puns, and Sans vanished before She could do anything about it.
"I must start working on weaponry. For science, of course."
