Beautiful. Smart. Entropy.

By Spectra16 (Has a lot of deadlines) (and dead lines)

A/N: Argh! It's the 29th, three days before this Crim challenge is due (I update chapters late)! And I have six chapters left to write! ARGH! That's two chapters a day! GOT DAMN! I've put my giant crossover on hold for this! That's insane! That story ALWAYS came first! Oh well. And school starts in one week. Crap. Where has my well wasted time gone?

Oh yeah. I'm sorry about the last chapter. Chris likes to intrude.

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl or anything I use in this chapter.

Apology: Ever since Chris wrote a chapter, my S key has not been working very well. He likes to slam his fist on the delicate keyboard. Jerk. Oh well. So yeah. If I miss adding an S, I'm orry. (wink)

I also would like to apologize for ripping on people who take steroids. Wait no. I'm not sorry.

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Chapter Eleven: And Back To the Plot We Go

"This i no ordinary child," The woman in purple spoke. Mulch tried to look interested by putting his hand on his chin. Holly had already come from the back room to listen to the woman's case. "Her father is a human."

Holly and Mulch looked candalized. And then regained composure. In a dramatic swell of emotion, Mulch asked,

"Who are you?"

With a few moment of dramatic mood silence, the woman spoke coolly.

"Amethyst Koboi."

GASP! went Holly and Mulch. Mulch ran and hid behind a desk. Holly stood up traight.

"Are you related to Opal Koboi? The criminal?" Holly asked tupidly in order to point stupid or inattentive readers in the right direction of plot. Amethyst nodded solemnly. With a name like Amethyt, readers felt their Mary ue senses tingling. The pixie was beautiful with platinum blonde hair and unreal green eyes.

"I'm afraid I don't hare her ambitions. All I care about I my long lost daughter," Amethyst poke quietly now. Holly nodded.

"Don't call us! We'll call you," Mulch's voice was muffled behind the desk.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The lightning storm and rain passed quickly after irius and Artemis found their new entertainment. Crispy, and rather put out, the two men returned in the black golf cart. The large park was not just a golf course. It was also a mini golf course, rock climbing, a pool, a batting cage, and a quaint little restaurant. After returning their clubs and bags to the Fowl's car, irius looked back at the park.

"Hey, do you want to go mini golfing?" Sirius asked playfully. Artemis looked back.

"Yes," He said with all erioune.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sirius took his putter in hand and swung it as hard as he could. The little blue, beaten golf ball had never flown farther in it's career as a golf ball. The ball hit several landmarks in the course; the windmill, the elephant, the gazebo, the plaster cast of George W. Bush, and two people.

"OH CHRIST! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!" A college student by the name of Brian screamed as he clutched his leg on the ground. His girlfriend, who also got hit, just starred at her boyfriend rolling around on the ground, blankly.

Sirius and Artemis gave each other high fives.

"Yes! That's two points for the windmill, three for the elephant, five for the gazebo, ten million for Bush, and two for each human!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly! Artemis crossed his eyebrows.

"I thought it was only five million for Bush and one for the windmill!" He argued. Sirius shrugged.

"Whatever. I still got 5,000,013 points!" Sirius exclaimed. Artemis set his pink ball down and glared at the plaster cast of Chuck Norris, which was worth infinity.

"I won't lose to Sirius Black!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Everyone on the jealous JV team gunned for Artemis. Even when he played defense, the offense's interest was creaming him and not catching the ball to score a touchdown. Artemis was having a near death experience.

"Come on Artemis! Get up! Don't be a wuss!" Dani screamed. Artemis laid on the ground, not moving at all. One extremely large boy or girl looked over at Artemis from above.

"Yeah farty Arty! Get up, you pussy!" The boy or girl then body slammed the thin framed boy. Artemis coughed pitifully.

All of the spectators (Artemis hater), "oh!"'d collectively. The boy or girl got off of him and Artemi rolled over. He stood up, wobbly like. Dani clapped. Mr. Monarski muttered on about how football sucks and fencing rules. Once the play was over, the coach had all of the player run around the field in circles for no apparent reason. Artemis ran a few feet before collapsing on the ground in the path of the rest of the team. Everyone stepped on him and laughed. It was a very emo moment.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Underground, red alarm were flashing and wailing. Root and Foaly scrambled to find out what was going on. Foaly tapped madly at his keyboard to find out what the security breach was.

Root's face was red with anger and rage, but Foaly couldn't really tell from the red light that bathed the tech room. He turned to the commander.

"The computer says that the security breach involves Artemis Fowl," Foaly tapped again feverishly. Root shook with rage and horror.

"I TOLD YOU HE WAS UP TO SOMETHING!" Root shouted. Foaly's ear were plugged with cotton, but Root didn't know that.

"Apparently, the computer that reads his vitals say that . . . He's acting out of character to the extreme," Foaly said gravely. Root leaned over to the screen.

"Where does it say that?" He barked. Foaly pointed to a meter which read "Out-of-characterness" and it' settings were Mudboy, slightly good-hearted, OOC, AU OCC, and to the extreme. In that order. The indicator was pointed to the "to the extreme". Root nodded.

"What do we do?" Foaly asked. Root breathed in.

"We send some recon officers to find out what's wrong. Right after we send them to pick up my dry cleaning."

-.-.-.-.-.-

Opal was busily stacking playing cards on each other when he was rudely interrupted by a pixie violinist. Briar waited at the door while he assumed Opal would wonder who paid for a violinist for her. He walked in after the song stopped and found the room covered in fresh blood, which covered the old blood stains. Briar gulped. Opal's hair was frazzled and her fingers were bent in a strange manner. She inhaled like a ravenous beast as she glared at Cudgeon.

"What. . . Have I . . . Said about . . . Inviting. . . Civilians . . . Into our . . . Lair?" She asked dangerously. Briar backed into the wall with a look of shocked horror on his face. He pressed himself as far away from Opal as he could. She stormed toward him with a murderous look on her face. He shielded himself in horror and spit out what he'd been dying to tell her for days.

"I LOVE YOU!" He spoke as if intimidated to say it. She stopped and her look of rage was replaced with curiosity.

"Come again?" Her voice changed into sweetness from her angry tone. He shivered.

"I love you?" He repeated. She loosened. A look of playful anger spread across her beautiful face. He waited for her to stab him to death with a dull butter knife. The moment never came. Instead, the two of them stood in silence.

"Why the HELL didn't you just tell me?!" She hugged him and nearly snapped his spine. If Cudgeon wasn't in so much intense pain, he'd would have smiled.

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A/N: Hello! How are you today? Good. Now review! Or read. Either. Thanks for sticking with this story. I'm impressed! I'm not sure I would've been able to!