A/N: Hey, guys! Bet you thought I'd given up on this, huh?! Well, I haven't! Of course, I haven't! I love writing this, more than you guys will ever know. This did take a long time to write, because I've had a few problems emotionally recently. But I'm back on track, and so I'll begin writing this after more than a month's hiatus! This chapter was quite difficult to write, and may not be up to my usual (questionable) standards, so... Be nice xD Oh yeah, this one has a LOT of sections to it so... Enjoy that! xD
Your Author,
Josh 3
The Darkness was pleased. So pleased, in fact, that it allowed its present victim death instantly. It was partly by accident, but the Darkness allowed itself to think it was out of... Mercy. The man had suffered terribly by the Darkness' hands, and had been begging for death for the last two hours. The reason for the Darkness' happiness? Oh, that was simple enough. The utter blast of mortal agony he'd felt from Hogwarts had been so delicious, so filling, that the Darkness needed not to feed from the pathetic mortal before him. In no short words, the Darkness had felt the force of a heartbreak. It was so beautiful and the Darkness had almost been surprised. It wasn't, of course. No, this was all part of the plan. All part of the ultimate end. The Darkness couldn't wait for the end of it. It would be so delicious, the Darkness could almost taste it now. If the Darkness could salivate, it had no doubt it would be now. The end was nowhere near, of course. No, things still had to take place. Wheels had to be set in motion that would mean the End. It loved that phrase: the End. It was so final, everything a goal should be. The Darkness had formulated this plan for eternity, and it had planned it so perfectly that the two boys, both of them measly and hardly worthy of his attention, were already beginning to bring about the End, without even realising. It was going well, so far. The pieces had been set. The King and Queen of the light were in turmoil, while the rooks and bishops would soon be attempting to contain the damage. Yes... This was a game. Perhaps chess is a bad metaphor for it. The Darkness cared not. Those teenagers would bring the End, and it would be the last thing they ever did. The Darkness would consume the light, and... It would be delicious.
The Darkness moved inside of the cave that it had inhabited, testing the rocky walls to their limits, pressing against every crevice, every nook... And leaving permanent scars on the rock afterwards. It was a perfect cave, but the Darkness had bigger, better plans for the place. The earlier blast had been the final push the Darkness had needed to restore its confidence in its plan. The final push, as it were. The Darkness could feel it coming, like cold seeping into a recently made corpse. The Darkness grinned in delight, a throaty chuckle shaking the cave in tremors. Now, the Darkness was more powerful than ever. That blast of delectable agony had been all the Darkness had needed to become what it once was. What was the Darkness? Well, that was simple: The Darkess was the fear, instilled inside all men and women, and all creatures of all places. The Darkness was the pocket of shadow inside all places, that the mind knows is safe, but the heart knows is not. The Darkness was the faded light inside a dead man's eye, and the eye of a person broken in all but body. The Darkness was that feeling deep in your stomach, when you feel something has gone horrible wrong. The Darkness is the cold you feel when no-one's around, the feeling of something, even when your mind knows there's nothing. The Darkness was the flickering streetlight, the footsteps you can hear, just behind, but never passing. The Darkness was the monster in the closet, under the bed and in all places where monsters dwell. The Darkness was the evil inside men and women, and the Darkness was the malice inside all hearts. The Darkness was eternal, and the Darkness was coming.
It was very late, and darkness had consumed Hogwarts. Despite the hour, the Common Room was populated. Sirius, James, Peter, Marlene, Emmeline, Evan and Kingsley were sat in front of the dying embers of the fire. Not a word had been spoken for an hour. Sirius had never felt more tired or distraught. "Sirius..." Lily whispered, looking at him. Remus had gone upstairs earlier. Apparently being comatose made you very tired. That, or... Snogging Keiran, Sirius thought, before looking at Lily.
"What?" He asked, in a colder voice than he'd have liked.
"Are you okay?" She asked, and Sirius thought for a minute. He'd thought of this night for a long time, and had always assumed it'd be a night full of celebration. Sirius didn't reply to Lily, and she returned to her previous position, with her head tilted downwards. After a while, James stood.
"I'll be back in a minute." He said, before leaving the room quietly. Sirius watched him go and sighed, bowing his head. The room was filled with an unspoken solemnity. It was as if someone had died, not woken up. Sirius felt ashamed of himself for saddening himself and his friends. Suddenly, he broke into a convincing grin, though it took every inch of his effort.
"Chin up, guys. At least he's awake." Sirius beamed at them all, and they all looked simply flabbergasted. Sirius felt his grin falter slightly, but he glanced away, "There's no point being sad."
"Yeah..." Marlene agreed, though she didn't look like her heart was in it. Sirius still continued his strained smile, though his eyes grew somewhat despairing. James and Lily shared a concerned look. Sirius thought for a moment. Desperation was beginning to enter his mind. Sirius wasn't happy.
Remus wasn't sleeping. Remus couldn't sleep, not after that. Remus's heart was lighter than it had ever felt, and he was grinning so much his mouth hurt. Remus had shoved his face into his pillow, but to no avail. He couldn't sleep, and he couldn't stop grinning. Remus was very happy with the day's happenings, and sighed contentedly. Remus had never felt more at peace with events, and had never, in recent memory, felt happier. Underneath al of the joy and contentment, however, Remus felt somewhat uneasy. He could remember the faces of his friends when he'd left the Hospital Wing. They'd looked uneasy, and Sirius had practically bolted when he'd seen him. Remus hadn't actually had a conversation with him since. Despite his uneasiness, Remus felt his thoughts return to Keiran, and the moment Remus had seen him in the Hospital Wing.
Earlier
Remus could feel... Something. He could see something, too. It was bright, whatever it was. Remus' head was... Pounding. Remus groaned softly, and realised that he could hear himself differently. Wait... I'm not in the Field. This is... Remus' vision slowly cleared, and he realised where he was. The Hospital Wing. Remus felt a painful smile cross his face, and felt a few relieved sighs. When Remus eventually (and very painfully) sat up, he saw the still slightly-blurred figures of Professors Flitwick, McGonagall and Dumbledore retreating slowly. When his vision was completely focused, he saw another figure stood beside him. Remus could hardly recognise the figure, but when he did, his painful smile turned into an agony-inducing grin. "Keiran." Remus mumbled, his voice a little weak.
"Hey there, Rem." Keiran said, in a rather soft voice. The Professors were all looking somewhat displeased, as if Remus had done something wrong. Remus then noticed, with a little jolt in his stomach, their looks were directed at Keiran.
"Why are you here? Where're the others?" Remus asked, his voice regaining strength with every word.
"They'll be here soon, Remus." Keiran's voice was oddly soft, but not sad or concerned. Remus couldn't place the tone of voice. Then, Remus noticed Keiran's hand. It was resting on Remus' arm, and Remus felt his breath hitch in his throat. His eyes found the arm, and looked at it, as if it was alien, "I'm here now."
"K-Keiran?" Remus asked, with a slight stammer. Green eyes found blue, and a soft smile touched both their lips.
"I know." Keiran mumbled, nodding, "Me too."
"But..." Remus began to stand, while all of the Professors watched on. "Why would you like me, exactly?" His voice was slightly intoned with a groan, as his bones ached from underuse.
"Why wouldn't I, Rem?" Keiran asked, eyebrow cocked and chuckle warbling from his throat.
"Because..." I'm stupid? I'm ugly? I'm... His mind didn't allow him to finish the final thought, as he felt himself go completely cold. Keiran didn't know about his lycanthropy. "Y-You can't." Remus' voice sounded determined, and Remus felt a fear settle deep within his stomach.
"Why not?" Keiran asked, tilting his head at the boy's actions.
"Because of reasons." Remus knew how stupid that answer seemed, but it was truly the best he could come up with.
"That's not good enough. Anyway, why are we talking about this? I obviously can like you, because I do." Keiran grinned widely, and Remus nervously (and not altogether wholeheartedly,) reciprocated. After standing a few seconds in silence, Keiran reached out and grabbed Remus, yanking him into a hug. "Don't you ever do that again."
"Do what?" Remus asked, blinking at the other boy, though he hugged back tightly.
"Go into a coma. Make me think you're dying. Terrify me." Keiran chuckled softly, and pulled back, though he still held Remus' hands in his own. Remus felt his heart fluttering in his chest as he looked down at their hands, and then back up at Keiran."
"Erm..." Remus opened his mouth to speak, but his words were lost, as he felt Keiran's surprisingly soft lips clash against his. Remus felt his eyes widen, before he closed them instinctively.
Remus opened his eyes, and found himself back in the present, laid on his bed, staring at the inside of his curtains. Remus saw his hands clasped on his stomach, the feeling of worry still set there. It would have been so much easier if it had been Sirius. Remus thought, before his mind turned to that particular boy. Sirius... Remus had seen his face, an instant before Sirius had bolted. It looked so... Hurt, and Remus had felt so guilty for a while. He still did, to be honest, but he'd pushed it from his mind. Remus had too much on his mind, without thinking about Sirius. Following his own advice, he pushed the raven-haired boy from his mind, instead turning to a classic Remus subject; classwork.
The Common Room had settled back into a silence, this one more awkward than the last, and Sirius had perched himself in front of the fire, staring deep into the embers. The boy's jaw was set hard, and no trace of a smile, a frown, anything showed on his face. The others all shared worried glances, and Lily and James looked at each other for a while, mouthing various messages.
'Do something!' Was James' first message to Lily.
'What do you expect me to do? He's your friend!' Lily mouthed back, punctuating her words with gestures.
'Well, I don't know what to do! I dunno anything about this stuff!' James shrugged in utter confusion.
'What stuff? Caring?' Lily asked, raising her eyebrows.
'Well...' James paused for a moment, 'No... This gay stuff.'
'What the helldo you mean, this 'gay' stuff?!' How Lily managed to shout at him while mouthing, James would never know.
'Not like that! I mean... Remus and Sirius.' He mouthed back.
"You two aren't subtle." Sirius said dryly from in front of them. Both of them looked at him, before looking at each other. At Sirius' expression, all of the group burst into unexpected laughter. Even Sirius managed a soft chuckle, shaking his head, "And, Prongs, for your information: This 'gay' stuff, is the same as your 'straight' stuff with Evans over there."
"Padfoot!" James hissed, as he went bright red, gritting his teeth, "I'm gonna kill you one day." James glanced at Lily, who'd gone a similar shade of red, and tried to look apologetic. The others were laughing, and James had never felt more embarrassed... Much. Sirius simply smiled softly, before standing.
"I think... It's time for bed."
That night was an... Awkward one, to say the least. Sirius passed Remus' bed without a word, and James had found himself feeling somewhat uncomfortable. Peter simply clambered into his bed, and fell into his usual deep slumber. Soon, soft snores could be heard through the dorm. All curtains were closed, and each contained its own crisis. Remus was laid on his bed, staring at where Sirius' bed would be, had the curtains been drawn back. Going through his mind, he saw images of the boy laughing and talking. Nothing special, just... Existing. Remus felt something swell to a crescendo in his gut. He did his best to ignore it; Similarly, Sirius was staring at the point where Remus' bed would be, had he not been concealed by the red conspirators, the curtains. The difference was, Sirius was sat on his bed, legs crossed and head almost fully bowed. Sirius felt... Broken. I cried for you! He wanted to scream, I was terrified, Remus! His thoughts echoed in his otherwise hollow mind. Nothing seemed right, anymore. Sirius knew how melodramatic he would sound but... It wasn't right. Sirius had been the one terrified, the one losing sleep. I should never have told him, Sirius thought, I should have just kept it to myself. Sirius knew how amoral he now sounded, but he didn't care about Keiran. He cared about... Who? Remus? Or yourself? Sirius paused at this. He's happy, you selfish git. He wants to be with Keiran, not you. His thoughts were rebelling against him, and he didn't like it at all. Sirius had never felt less confident; James was lain awake with his eyes trained on the red velvet that hung above his head. There's no way Remus didn't know, was all that span around his head, as he tried to image some scenario where he was wrong. Remus is the smartest of all of us. There's not a chance in hell that he didn't know. No matter how hard he tried, James couldn't do it. He couldn't find a way where he was wrong, unless Remus is stupider than he lets on. In all truth, James was frustrated at Remus; frustrated at the boy's lack of... Empathy? Yes, that sounds right. James growled silently. Sirius was his best friend, and James had seen the look on his face when he'd come across Remus kissing Keiran. You couldn't have waited ten bloody minutes, could you, Rem? James punched his pillow and thrust his head into it.
While the other three were having their small crises, Peter felt broken. His friends were fragmenting, and Peter couldn't stand it. He was afraid; afraid of his friends leaving. Peter was so scared of being alone, and he could feel it creeping closer every minute he thought of what had just happened. Why couldn't you two just have been happy? Peter internally asked, screaming at his two friends, though neither would hear the thought, Why couldn't you just... Do what you both know you want? Peter was observant, though it wasn't usually noticed. Peter knew all about how the two felt for each other, and he knew neither would ever admit it. Peter sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, closing them tightly. I don't want it to end. He thought feebly, before a silent tear dropped down his face.
The next morning felt hazy and cold. None of the boys could be sure who woke first, because they all seemed to be asleep one minute, and awake the next. When they awoke, it felt like everything that had happened, the fight, the kiss, the Club... It felt like so long ago. It was only days, yet it felt like months. None woke happy, though all plastered smiles on their faces for the benefit of the others. When they all clambered out of bed, they silently got dressed. The silence was comfortable, though artificially so. "You, er- You meeting Keiran today, Rem?" Sirius asked, trying to sound uninterested.
"Erm, yeah I am." Remus nodded, with a very quick, very nervous smile at Sirius, who simply nodded and returned to putting on his shirt.
"That's... Good." James interjected, glancing at Sirius.
"Hmm." Mumbled both Sirius and Remus in unison, who glanced at each other. In a normal situation, this would have inspired a laugh from both of them. Instead, they both averted their eyes and went back to getting dressed. When they were all finished, they wandered into the Common Room. Evan and Kingsley were already there. Evan had a pained expression on his face when he saw Sirius and Remus. James shook his head, almost imperceptibly at Evan, who saw it and straightened his face.
It was lunch and, for the first time that James could remember, they were all separated. Remus was with Keiran; Sirius had wandered off at the end of Defence, without a word to James; Peter had gone off with Kingsley and Evan and, somehow, James found himself alone in the Great Hall. "You okay, Potter?" A voice asked, and James turned to see Lily stood there, looking concerned.
"He's a bloody idiot." James replied, sighing.
"Who? Sirius?" Lily asked, brow furrowing in confusion.
"No!" James said loudly, before lowering his voice, "No. Remus."
"How?" Lily raised an eyebrow now, looking slightly judgemental.
"We both know he liked Sirius. And we both know Sirius likes him." James mumbled, looking away.
"Potter... It's his life." Lily sighed, sitting next to him, "But I know what you mean."
"You do?" It was James' turn to be confused."
"Yep. Believe it or not, I don't like seeing Sirius like... This, either. It's too quiet with him like that." Lily shrugged, though her face looked worried.
"Yeah... Well." James didn't quite know what to say, and simply pinched the bridge of his nose, taking his glasses off as he did. He wiped them with his robes, less askew than usual. They weren't dirty, he just wanted something to do.
"Listen, James..." Lily started, putting a hand on his arm.
"What?" He turned to her, and spoke in a defensive tone."
"I... Know it might be hard." She mumbled, looking embarrassed.
"What is?" James asked, blinking.
"Seeing your friends like this." Lily answered, looking him in the eye. The green captivated him, and he smiled softly.
"Lily... They'll be fine. They'll find each other in the end. They have to." He said, determinedly. He paused for a moment, "Slughorn's thing's coming up."
"Yeah, so?" Lily asked, blinking.
"You want to go with me, Lily?" James asked, sounding more confident than he felt.
"Sure, James." She answered, and a grin broke out on James' face. Both of them ignored the fact they'd just broken their tradition of calling each other by their surnames.
Remus was lain by the lake, next to Keiran. They were spaced oddly far apart, but Remus was fine with it. A soft smile played at his lips, and Keiran's face was one of unadulterated glee. It wasn't exactly warm there, as it was near the end of November, but neither cared. They were happy to be lain there, even with a slight chill. Remus looked out over the lake, and spotted various things he knew to mean home. The place was home to so many memories for him, We always came down here. Always. It was just... Our place. Remus reflected on his thoughts, and felt his smile drop. His use of past tense worried him, and he chided himself, They are still your friends, Remus. He reminded himself, hitting his leg softly, so Keiran wouldn't notice. Sirius... His thoughts tailed off once more, and his stomach filled with worry once again, Sirius will learn to be okay. Remus wasn't certain, rather than hopeful. Remus tried his best to push the thoughts away, and moved his head, so it was resting against Keiran's arm. "You okay, Remmy?" Keiran asked, turning his head to look at the boy.
"I'm fine, yeah." Remus smiled at him, and felt something inside him at the smile he received back. The blue eyes shone at him, and they were all Remus could see for a while.
"Good." Keiran said, in a very quiet voice, before he reached down and stroked the younger boy's cheek. Remus leant in to the touch softly, closing his eyes at the action. When Remus opened his eyes, Keiran was right above him, dark hair hanging down, brushing against Remus' cheeks, tickling him slightly. Remus blinked, but smiled nervously.
"Hello, there." Remus said, still blinking up at Keiran.
"Hi." Keiran replied, chuckling. After only a second or two, Remus felt Keiran's lips pressed up against his, and his eyes closed quickly. When he pulled back, Remus blinked.
"People'll see, Keiran." He mumbled worriedly, looking around.
"So?" Keiran asked, a somewhat cocksure grin on his face, "They can all revel in our magnificence."
"Erm..." Remus blinked, before smiling and shaking his head, "Fine." He chuckled softly, and Keiran pressed another light kiss, though this time to his cheek.
"Good." Keiran grinned, before lying back, though he moved Remus' head onto his chest, "How're your friends? They didn't seem all that... Chuffed withus." Keiran pondered, glancing down at him.
"Oh, I don't know." Remus sighed softly, shrugging, "I think they're having a hard time accepting it, but they will."
"Want me to have a word?" Keiran asked, before hastily adding, "A nice one, I mean."
"Would you? I think they're cautious, more than anything." Remus frowned.
"Of course." Keiran grinned upwards, nodding, "I'll do it at dinner tonight."
"Thank you." Remus mumbled, and closed his eyes again.
Time passed, as time has the tendency to do. Seconds rolled away, and minutes and hours thundered after. Students got lost in studies, until finally, dinner arrived. The entirety of the school body, as usual, was gathered inside of the hall, and the Marauders were sat together, as usual. In fact, it was almost as if nothing had actually happened. They were talking like usual, and bantering like the best of friends, which they were. In fact, they'd gained two; Lily was sat by James' side, chattering away with them, and Keiran was sat with Remus, doing the same. No serious conversation had yet entered the mix, though it would soon enough. Sirius and Keiran hadn't yet spoken directly to each other, though appeared to be civil towards each other. It wasn't that Sirius didn't like Keiran... It was more that Sirius was somewhat afraid of him, as if the Ravenclaw would somehow taunt him with Remus. Similarly, Keiran was nervous about talking to Sirius, thinking the boy would just explode on him. It was fairly obvious how Sirius felt, even to Keiran. Still, the food was plentiful, and the talk even more so. Sirius had noticed Lily and James at the very beginning of dinner, and had winked at James in an understanding way. James hadn't mentioned it, as of yet, but Sirius could guess. There were two couples sat before Sirius and Peter, that much was obvious. The night was very happy, and grew dark quickly, though in a comfortable way. Maybe... Maybe things will be okay, was the thought circling in all of their heads. Finally, Keiran smiled at Sirius and Sirius smiled back, though very softly and somewhat falsely. "Sirius... May I talk to you for a moment, outside?"
"Yes, of course." Sirius said, in slight confusion. They both stood, and the others watched them, as they left the hall side-by-side and silent. Maybe... Remus thought.
