11.
"How was the trip, Ven?" Helping Ventus to pick up boxes of supplies, Aqua glanced at the blond boy.
"Not bad. Sora gave me a ride." Ventus pulled the hand cart inside, Aqua followed him holding large bag.
"By the way… Vanitas looked very angry today. Do you know why?" The blond flinched a little, but soon replied.
"I told him everything I know before I left. He didn't seem to believe me then…" He trailed off, eyes casting down.
"Guess we should talk with him more." The blue-haired girl said. "If only he wants to talk with us, instead of ignoring us."
Perhaps it was the next day, though they did not keep the track of time well.
There was awkward silence hanging in the air. Three people, no, two people and a boy were in a room, staring each other, not saying anything yet.
Ventus and Aqua seemed to have something to say, but they hadn't found right word for starting yet, and Vanitas was still not in a good shape. The dark boy was sitting on a bed, his back was leaning against the wall. He looked sick(he hated them to see him like this), although he was not in pain anymore now.
Their wary, stern, yet anxious gaze was somewhat disgusting to him. He rather wished that they were angry at him. Though he couldn't bring himself to provoke them in fear of risking his own life, seeing them mad at him would be quite impressive. Back then watching these idiots struggling had been fun while it lasted, but those days were gone and would never return. He would never see them like that again. Maybe there would be no more of him. If he could disappear from the world. If they'd kill him. No, he didn't want to think about that now. He should not let his mind wonder.
"Stop looking at me like that." His voice was harsh, yet strained.
"How are you feeling?" It was Ventus. How dare this wimp ask like this?
"Do you really care about how I am feeling?" Vanitas snapped, sprang to his feet.
Oh, man. Ventus surely grew taller than the last time they encountered. Once their height had been almost the same, but now this blond was nearly tall as the girl standing next to him.
Vanitas might wonder if he had ever grown. But had he cared about that at least once? Perhaps he was born this way. The way his master wanted. But is it relevant now? Nope. He got his thoughts back to the track again and decided to focus on the topic, if there was any.
"I can't say I don't care." He could hear the blond teen saying. What a hypocrite. He scoffed.
For Ventus, it was really hard to say anything to the other boy, for he was so much like a wounded animal in corner. He would snap again if anyone slip their tongue.
He was not like the dark, dangerous entity the blond had known in the past. Still he was, but felt like less dangerous than before(can't tell if it was because of Aqua's spell). The dark boy was on guard now, ready to bite if they were too close to him.
Vanitas had no idea what they wanted – or expected – from him. Ventus was still looking at him with cold, hardened, yet concerned eyes. So was Aqua, albeit her gaze was a bit softer. They were standing, or sitting there(Aqua was sitting on the chair before he knew it), watching him patiently. As if they were waiting for him to do something. Were they? He couldn't tell. After all, they were his enemies, and he was at their mercy. If he made a wrong move, he wouldn't make it alive. Not that mattered so much. And if they were going to punish him, let them be. He had nothing to lose. Nothing to live. He was tired of this waiting game(or so he thought).
"If you don't have anything to say, get out." He spat out between the teeth.
"Hey, I don't know what to say first..." Ventus trailed off. He struggled with words, biting his lip. "but, there are things I want to hear from you." He drew out his words slowly and carefully.
"Hear from me, what?"
"About you. Everything. You had spoken as if you know anything about me, despite of… er, being worlds apart and never met face-to-face before. It's not fair that I don't know anything about you." The blond gestured to himself and the other teen.
"Ha, guess what, loser? You know what – who – I am and what my purpose is. That's all. Period." Sneering, Vanitas sat down, spoke so.
"I don't think that's all. Like… you seemed to dislike me, but I don't know why. I don't like you for a reason, but what about you?"
The dark boy snorted. "Do you think there's any reason for hating someone?"
Ventus frowned. Vanitas somehow expected him to snap like weeks ago, but the blond teen kept his composure, or tried to.
"Maybe. We've seen people doing horrible things without apparent reason. But are you sure you have no particular reason to hate me?"
"Well, well, well… You really want to hear? Then, I'll tell you. You were a weakling, a loser. I hate weakness. If you were strong enough, I wouldn't be here like this!" Vanitas raised his voice, clenching his fists.
The blond boy sighed. Perhaps he had been weak back then. But he really hadn't known what the old master wanted from him. He hadn't been able to fight against those Heartless. The old man wanted him to use darkness to fight, but he'd rather die than succumb to darkness. Even though he didn't know how to do it, and he couldn't do then. That was it.
"Yes, I was weak back then. If I was stronger and obedient, I wouldn't deal with you like this. But you know, if I did give in darkness as Master Xehanort wanted, I wouldn't be here, either." He had no hesitation to say that.
"So what?" Vanitas retorted.
"I wouldn't have met Terra and Aqua, and befriended them. Rather, I'd have met those two as enemy, and instead of Terra, Xehanort would've used me as his vessel. In worst case, I – we – could've ended up dead for any reason." Ventus didn't care about Aqua going pale as he pointed that out. It's no use to say 'what if' now, but he wanted to tell them 'if things were played differently'. He knew it could have been worse. That old master often did not speak straight deliberately. He used the way of his speaking to manipulate others(including Ventus himself) and they fell victims to his plot without knowing. Just how many people fell into his trap? The blond boy bit his lip, pushing away billowing anger. This was not the time.
"Ven..." He could feel Aqua holding his hand. He pulled out the hand slowly, nodding. "It's okay, Aqua."
Vanitas did not have words to argue back, no matter how he wanted to deny what the other said. Well, he could find the right words if he thought hard. He thought he knew what his master wanted, even though he had not seen the full picture of the old man's scheme. Probably that old man had plotted another plan when his original plan had ended in failure. His creation was such an attempt for a new plan, according to his master. If Xehanort succeeded from the beginning, he – Ventus – wouldn't be split in two, but no one could ensure that he'd remain being himself.
He failed to find the words to talk back. Admit it or not, what Ventus said was plausible. In the end, they had been pawns of that old man's game regardless of whatever already happened or would have happened. Thinking of that might make him feel sick, if he'd ever care.
Funny, before hearing what the blond teen spoke, he never gave a second thought to that. That his own thoughts, volition, and intention might be used as means of accomplishing someone's ultimate goal. Oh, yes, he already acknowledged it to some extent. But back then, he hadn't cared much. If he could forge χ-Blade and take over the other one's body, that would be fine. He had never considered the aftermath of that. Perhaps the old man hadn't known what would happen after that. Well, if he had known already, there was no reason to do all those things, right?
Once started, it could not be stopped. Ventus wanted to hear more.
"Once you got χ-Blade, what would you do? Other than taking over my body and giving what the old man wanted." He didn't want his question to be like interrogation. It should not.
Vanitas rolled his eyes.
"Like I know. I just wanted to get rid of you once it was forged." And fill the heart with darkness.
The blond teen raised his brow. "I thought you wanted to be whole?"
"I told you I hate weakness. I didn't want to become such wimp again. Not. Ever. Again." The dark one replied with voice dripping venom.
"And?" Ventus asked as looking at the other boy with wary eyes.
Aqua was watching the two boys talking. In the corner of her heart, she hoped Ventus did not go too far while Vanitas already looked like cornered animal, radiating hostility and wariness all over. Although it seemed that her friend tried to be careful for his words, the other teen was ready for barking and biting in any time.
"Who knows what the old man expected? Maybe, I just wanted to watch the world burning around me." She let out an inaudible sigh as the dark boy spoke.
It was weird to see the other boy always hiding his face under the slick black helmet, though they already got used to see him wearing that. Ventus was almost out of topic right now, so he decided to talk about it. Knowing how Vanitas used to look like, the blond teen wondered if the dark boy had any reason to hide his face other than concealing his identity or intimidating his enemies, or practical reason.
He shouldn't have brought that up.
"'My face'?" Vanitas growled between his teeth. "I don't know how I got that, but it was NOT how I was supposed to be!"
"'Supposed'…?"
"I WAS supposed to be like you, Ventus, but I wasn't. And you know what? I have not had a face to be called my own from the very first."
"What do you mean, Vanitas?"
Instead of answering, the boy from darkness put his hands on the helmet. "Do you want to see it?" He pulled it off from his head.
Aqua and Ventus gasped, with wide eyes.
"Like what you see?" The dark boy spat out furiously. "This vile, ugly creature of me?"
The black helmet was thrown on the ground with crashing sound.
Authoress L's Note: A lengthy chapter. In my head, Vanitas sounds more sinister, and I doubt if he has any redeeming quality.
