11. The Violent Rhythm
But you listen to the tone and the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady something empty's within them
"I still don't like this, y'know."
They were back at the motel, regardless of the uneasiness encompassing them within the room; though they tried to ignore it as best as they could. After all – as Dean had stated on their way back – if all went according to plan, Sam would be waking up in his body and it'll all be good.
Not that things usually worked out the way they wanted, but Sam kept that thought to himself.
He stood opposite his brother at the end of Dean's bed, gaze turning from the amulet to Dean. He hesitated. Once he took off the amulet, there was no knowing what would happen for certain. He could still feel the resistant pull, as if he was floating on a buoy against currents that wanted to just pull him down. Only this was a tad more terrifying, because once he let go he would be thrust into a world of darkness and nightmares that he couldn't fight. The stuff that had been haunting his dreams for years, ones he had always relied on his brother to pull him out of.
Only this time, he had to face them alone.
"It's the best plan we've got," he said with a shrug.
Dean scowled. "Yeah, and that's saying something."
Sam looked at him helplessly. "It's not that bad." He wavered, a frown furrowing his eyebrows. "Right?"
Dean sighed and rolled his shoulders restlessly, turning to stare 'round the half-trashed room. "Nah, man," he eventually said. "It's just that we don't know a whole lot 'bout these Death Walkers – I don't like that you gotta go up against it without backup."
The admission was somewhat reluctant, clearly because Dean didn't want to admit out loud what had been on his mind the whole time. Like Sam hadn't guessed. He knew his brother – knew how protective he was and how seriously he took his job to watch out for him. The deal had proved that more than anything else.
But as much as Sam knew it, they weren't words he wanted to hear now. "I don't like this any more than you do, man," he confessed, wishing he didn't feel like it was his first hunt all over again, only this time he was going in blind and without his brother. "But Dean..."
As always, his brother seemed to pick up on his unspoken fear and doubt. Dean met his gaze forcefully, and this time any misgivings that had been there were effectively blocked, making those green eyes passive and sure. "Hey, listen to me. You listening?" His voice was hard, making sure that he had Sam's undivided attention.
Sam nodded.
"You're gonna face this son of a bitch, and you are not gonna let it win. Use that damn stubbornness; beat it at its own game." He let a small smirk touch his lips. "That is your specialty, right?"
Sam grinned, despite himself. "I'll kick its ass," he promised with certainty. He had to win. There was no alternative.
Dean cocked an eyebrow and nodded in agreement. "Damn straight. Nobody messes with that freaky mind of yours." He shot his little brother a serious, weighted look. "You can do this, Sam."
He got a smile in response. "Dean Winchester – master of prep talks since 2007."
Dean snorted and rolled his eyes. "A lot longer than that, dude. Now go before I bust out the pom-poms and cheerleaders," he added sarcastically.
Sam just laughed. His brother's words had done the trick, vanished any reservations he had left and, before it gave way to the pre-emptive trepidation curling in his stomach, Sam lifted the heavy weight off his chest and slipped it off, dropping it quickly into Dean's waiting hand. Meeting his brother's eyes once again, he went for one last confident smile before the inevitable force hauled him back into the shadows...
-x-
The panic was there. It slammed into him, stealing his breath, converging with the dread and terror and oh God please no, please...
But he couldn't do anything, couldn't stop it, couldn't help – because last time it was all Dad, it was Dad's sacrifice and Dad's plan and it was Dad who saved Dean.
Not him.
And before that it had backfired and people had died.
He couldn't. Couldn't save his brother, couldn't stop it all without something going wrong and now Dean was there- he was... he was going to Hell and his deal was up and there were hellhounds-
"Dean! NO!"
It was red – somuchred – and his blood, Dean's blood, was everywhere and his screams filled the air and they were tearing into him and he couldn't. He just couldn't.
He ran. Shaking and stumbling, trying to block his brother's cries, shouts, yells for help, make it stop, no- please-
And then it did.
He slowed. He could almost hear his heart beating a fast solo in his chest, his rapid short breaths wheezing out, his uneven steps echoing in the sudden dark. He looked around, turned unsteadily, strained to hear – to see.
Nothing.
He could still sense. He could feel the fear rolling off him in waves, the panic and disorder in his system from watching his brother being ripped to shreds.
But...
"Not real. It's not real."
It was a thought he clung to – a man desperate to make it stop and go away. Now that he had stopped, he could almost think coherently. A plan. There was a plan. He had to...
Red flickered around him.
...not get distracted...
It rose, flared to life.
...ignore it, ignore the chaos – not gonna let it win.
It was hot and everywhere now, surrounding him, suffocating him, and he could hear the sizzling and crackling of flames and- and screams... he could smell it... the thick smoke- the burning flesh, they bounded him, blocked his senses until he knew no more than the evil of fire.
And he wasn't alone.
The greedy flames pushed towards him, backing him up until he fell back, scrabbling desperately to get some purchase, to get away- but it never reached him.
It went above him. And he followed it, unable to do anything but watch, morbid curiosity mixing with fear and dread because he knew. He knew what was coming, and he was on the ground, unable to move-
But it wasn't her. It wasn't Jess above him, cut, burning, screaming, dying.
No...
"No." He choked on the sob, the smoke and smell and fright – "No..."
Because he'd relived this that horrific fateful night, had seen it all, nothing but an unwilling observer to the night he'd been changed... but now he couldn't look away. She sprawled on the ceiling, immobile, a splitting image of his girlfriend's end... Only it wasn't.
Because it was his mother.
And the blood, her blood dripped down, that gash slicing her abdomen, the fire eating her up, her blood falling over him – droplet after droplet, onto his clothes, his face, his mouth-
And then all he could see of her was her face, frozen on that silent scream, eyes wide and terrified and yellow- no. No. It wasn't.
It was.
Everything froze – the fire, the smoke, him. But her mouth curved up into a grotesque smirk, deformed on a half-burnt face, sparking a glint in horribly familiar yellow eyes. And he could taste the blood now, feel it coursing through him, poisoning him, changing him.
"You were always my favourite, Sam..."
"Let me GO!" The rage was instantaneous. It fuelled him, let him launch to his feet and shove down the terror. It cleared his mind for a moment, just one moment where he knew what he had to do-
Before he was assaulted again.
His resistance broke with the rapidity of the change. The attack was nothing if not effective- and he was on his knees before he knew it, broken moans of "no- don't-" breaking through, unable to get free.
It was Mom and Jess, Dad and Dean... Madison, Ava, Jake, Andy... they wouldn't stop, he couldn't make them, he couldn't do anything...
And then he was catching a body as it fell in front of him, dragging it into his arms as low cries teetered away into nothingness, choking on tears as he stared down at the face... slashed, bloody, lifeless... but he knew who it was... had dreamed – dreaded – this happening, and here it was, and he couldn't stop it, any of it.
"Dean..."
A/N: :) Yay for productiveness and fast updates!
…and boo for loserface monsters who like to mess with my Sammy. :( *cuddles him* Sowwy, Sammyy… It's okay, though… you can beat this SOB, right? :D
Biiiig thank you to dodo.123 for the beta job! *shakes head* Where would I be without you, dude? xD
Yeah, and as I told her – writing this was scarily fun. O.o *hides*
Ooh, wanna hear a poem I just made?
*clears throat*
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
Reviews are awesome,
And so are you!
xD
So, uh, yeah – if you're awesome, then don't forget to leave a review on the way out, yeah? ;) Can't exactly be too enthused to write the next bit up if I don't know what you guys thought of this one. I was actually hoping to get the next chapter out before the season premiere, and then I'll – theoretically – only have the epilogue left… so let's see how that works out. *pokes plot bunnies* Hop, bunnies! You can do this!
*salute* Hope y'all liked it… hehe, I said y'all like an American *snicker* … aaand – see ya next time! :D
~iz.
