Ianto blinked several times and struggled through the fog in his mind to figure out where he was and why he was there. Jack was there too, he was curled against Jack as he was usually in the mornings, making Ianto mildly embarrassed but unwilling or unable to move, but they weren't in Ianto's bed, which meant… They were in Jack's room, under his office because… Because Jack got shot, during the raid on the warehouse, he'd gone and shut the door so that they couldn't get out and threaten the team. "Bloody idiot" he muttered affectionately, well aware that Jack was awake and probably watching him.
The chuckle rumbled right through Ianto, as he lay pressed more closely against Jack than he would have been in his own double bed, and he felt his friend shift slightly, felt rather than heard the catch in his breath as the movement caused him pain again. Ianto sat up suddenly and nearly fell out of bed, but Jack caught him just in time, "Careful, we're not in Kansas any more Toto."
"Yeah, it took me a while to figure that bit out. How's your arm?" he asked in concern
"Oh you know…" Jack shrugged and didn't seem to notice, "I think it's just about there."
"It hurt a moment ago."
"Just cramp caused by stopping you falling out of bed all night." He grinned broadly when Ianto blushed in embarrassment, "Thanks for coming, and for staying. I don't know what I'd do without you." The honesty in his eyes took Ianto by surprise
"Likewise." He admitted with a smile, then groaned, "What time is it?"
"Erm," Jack reached across behind Ianto to check his mobile and pulled a face, "Five, we could go back to sleep for a bit?"
He shook his head, resisting the urge to just curl up against the captain again, he was so deliciously warm, "I won't get off to sleep again now, and I should really get back to collect Guron, I don't feel great about leaving him there overnight on his own."
"Did he seem to mind?" Jack asked, slight disappointment evident in his voice
Ianto reached for his jacket and trousers, which he had discarded on a chair the night before, but thought better of it, just grabbing his shoes instead. He was wearing a T-shirt and jogging bottoms, plenty to drive home at this time of the morning, probably no one who didn't know him would be able to tell that it wasn't just what he wore normally, "No, actually he told me to come just as I opened my mouth to tell him I was coming."
"Sometimes I get the feeling that alien's trying to play match-maker." Jack mused with another chuckle
"Well, seeing as his arrival drove you straight into my bed I'd say he's doing a damn good job."
Jack laughed and leaned back again, "I would come with you, but I'm far far far too lazy. I'll do the muffin run for you though, save you one job when you get in."
"Yeah, and you can feed Myfanwy too." He paused halfway up the ladder as he was struck by a thought, "What are you going to tell Owen about your arm?"
"That I was killed in battle thousands of years in the future and brought back to life and ever since then I can't die and heal super-fast? Nah, I'll tell him my coat was still full of nanogenes from investigating the spaceship the other day."
"OK, see you in a couple of hours. Don't forget…"
"Muffins, Myfanwy." He interrupted with a grin, "I remember, and have a good breakfast, I have a feeling today's going to be a long one." As he relaxed back into the pillows and heard the unmistakeable sounds of Ianto's departure, he felt like there was a filled hole in his life, and he knew exactly which hole it was. Every so often he would need someone, a proper relationship to remind him that there was life beyond Torchwood and the Doctor, someone who was just there. Usually the need started when he met someone who was that person, like with Lucy, with Mark, with Estelle – God Estelle, how it had broken his heart to leave her – and now… Ianto. The young man had awakened those feelings in him, the feelings of loss and emptiness, and by doing so had soothed them, but this time Jack knew that it was only temporary, because no matter how couple-ish this morning had been, they weren't a real couple, and they never would be.
Growling in annoyance and misery he swung out of bed and got dressed quickly and efficiently before making his way into the main body of the Hub. As he busied himself with tidying, feeding Myfanwy and Janet, collecting together reports and struggling to remember the usual muffin orders, he reflected bitterly that the last time he'd done this was when he'd been fighting the grief and betrayal he'd felt after discovering Lisa, now he didn't know what he was fighting, but it scared him.
Ianto pushed the button under the desk to let them into the Hub and allowed the Watulah to go through first before sealing the door behind them. They made their way down in silence, each lost in his own thoughts. Guron had seemed distant during the journey over, and he was worried about his new friend, the probably reason didn't escape him either. A trawl of Ebay had turned up his wife's ceremonial knife, her other weapons had all been found the day before, the ship was ready and the stars were calling; Ianto's skill at joined up thinking wasn't really required.
He went straight to the coffee machine as he always did, allowing the hum of the machine and the smells of the coffee to swirl around him and sooth him, reaching through the early-morning-familiarity induced fog currently inhabiting his mind to at least get him into a state where he could function at more than a basic essential level. His mental checklist was severely out of sync today, auto-pilot wouldn't work.
First things first, coffee for me and Jack, tea for Guron – Scratch Jack, he's out of the Hub, probably going for the muffins like he said he would, so one coffee, one tea
Next, feed Myfanwy – scratch that, Jack had done it
Clean out and feed Janet – Also done
Muffin run – Done
Quick tidy round before everyone else gets in, that's sure to be doable. But when he went to look at the Hub it was as tidy as he'd ever seen it, apparently something else Jack had done whilst he was gone. Sudden worry gripped him, Jack never ever did things like this, he must be ill, but he laughed at the thought as the immortal captain's voice started drifting down with the invisible lift and he returned, hands full of two bags of muffins and singing the Lion King at the top of his voice. Ianto joined in with the chorus with a grin and sashayed down to collect the bags, almost dancing back up to the kitchen area to make an extra cup of coffee and store the muffins safely. Somewhere behind him he can hear Guron laughing at them, probably over the top of his mug as he had so often during the last week, especially during these private times when it was just the three of them in the Hub. These times were for laughter and friendship and all the Disney movies they'd introduced the alien to since they'd found each other and for forgetting that they were in an underground base where they worked to protect the world from alien threats. This week had reminded him of what he was fighting for, the reasons he did this job every day; so that everyone else who didn't know about aliens or the rift got to live this life every day.
He took a tray with their usual choices up to the conference room, it was a usual morning. He'd had his usual pang of embarrassment at waking up curled against Jack, his usual longing to wrap himself around him again and go back to sleep, the usual coffee making and muffin runs, the usual rendition of Disney songs, the usual industrial strength coffee and Lemon Drop muffin for Jack, mocha with double chocolate for him and cranberry and Echinacea with cherry and white chocolate for Guron, and the usual atmosphere. But it was all different. Never before had he woken up in Jack's bed, and wanted to do more than just go back to sleep with him, never before had Jack done his chores and muffin run, never before had he danced around the Hub. Never before had it been goodbye.
They all knew it without it being said, no words were necessary; the air of closure the previous night had told them all in its own way, and now nothing could ever be the same. But none of them mentioned it; they laughed about the idea of Boris Johnson becoming Prime Minister (Guron promised that if that ever happened he would move to Britain permanently), argued about the best car of the last ten years and played cards. About half an hour after they got settled Tosh appeared and was dragged into the game, Owen wasn't long after but managed to resist the draw with arguments of autopsy notes to update, and Gwen appeared soon after him, sadly precipitating the end of the game, because having everyone there somehow meant they had work to do.
As they disappeared off to various corners of the underground base, Jack watched his team doing what they did and doing it well. Ianto, Guron and Tosh were going through the weapons, categorising them and boxing them up for transport to Torchwood 1, Gwen was working her way through police systems and talking to contacts to get the two men they'd arrested well and truly hung out to dry and Owen was working through his notes of pain of decaff coffee until he got them done. How the medic managed to be behind constantly Jack would never know.
He took a sip from his coffee and sighed in pleasure as he lent more on the railings. Watching his team work was one of the most relaxing things Jack had ever experienced, Ianto's coffee was another, his presence yet another. So to combine the three, he took his coffee down to the table where Ianto was currently glaring at Tosh and Guron over the top of a large, high-energy laser gun. When he noticed the Captain's presence he turned to him with an almost pleading look, "Sir, I'm right, aren't I?"
"I don't know Ianto, but I know that that's a Chula weapon." He picked it up and winked at the young man as he rested it against his hip in a heroic pose; he remembered well the days when he'd carried one of these regularly
"Yes, we know that. But Tony from NCIS is acted by the same person as Eyes Only in Dark Angel, isn't he?"
Jack rolled his eyes and laughed, "Yes, they are, but don't ask me his name. Abby and Max were always more my type, I liked the Goth chick thing and the leather cat-suit, respectively." Tosh looked slightly smug, although more than slightly put out that she was wrong; he knew about the debates that went on when he was out of the room, and he knew that the only person who really knew his 'inclinations' wouldn't breath a word to the others. He was coming to rely so much on the young man, personally as well as professionally, that it almost scared him, because he knew that he wouldn't be there to lean on forever.
As he rolled up his sleeves and mucked in with the categorising and packing he felt involved, more involved than he had for a long time. This team were his family; Tosh was his little sister, Gwen his big sister, Owen wasn't a brother as such, possibly a childhood friend who just inhabited the spare room or a camp bed on his bedroom floor, Guron was a cousin he rarely saw but had a fantastic laugh with whenever he did, and Ianto was so not his brother it wasn't even funny. He'd never seen Ianto as a brother, which he was very grateful for; Ianto was more like his best friend, possibly boyfriend. Dear God, his head was messed up, his life was messed up. It had been so much easier during those two years in the 1960s when it had been him, a motorbike and lots of hippy communes. He'd never bought into the hippy 'save the world' 'free love' thing; most people would find it hard to believe that he couldn't separate love and sex, and love was far too valuable and painful to give away that freely. Maybe if he had bought into it he'd be able to love more freely now, maybe he'd be able to stop himself falling for Ianto, but he'd probably regret it if he did.
He'd probably have screwed most of his team by now, he reflected as he heard Gwen calling him across the Hub. She was waving a printout from the police and was trying to hide a broad, triumphant grin, "Got them on about six counts Jack, without having to mention Torchwood once, about 30 odd years each!"
"Well done Gwen, how did you explain away the bananas?"
"Mellow yellow production." Her grin exploded onto her face fully and he threw his head back and laughed
"Genius Gwen! A stroke of undiluted brilliance." He turned back to the weapons and met Guron's eyes unwillingly; the alien had a maelstrom of emotions in his dark sparkling eyes, pain, grief and loss mingling with triumph and a sad resignment
"I think this is goodbye then Captain."
