Zhao Ang,
So you're okay with your wife being a whore? I unfortunately don't have any heavy packs for you.
Xu Shu
P.S: Have you heard that Guo Jia was married. I honestly was surprised myself since he loves women a bit too much.
Nemesis Death,
Honestly I would like to see your brother try Tim Curry's Russian accent from Command and Conquer Red Alert 3. I loved it when he was in that game and I did receive the Jameson exosuit. It's in a closet somewhere. It's in no one's reach. (I think) Anyway I kept the guns in case she ever tried coming back.
Xu Shu
Li Dian,
Thanks for sending Guan Yinping back to Shu. She is a crazy bitch isn't she?
Xu Shu
Guo Jia,
I hope your wife is aware that you have another family. Zhao Ang is after you, he's trying to give you a concussion or hemorrhage, which ever comes first.
Xu Shu
Xiahou Xiuying,
So how's the kids? You also don't need to worry about Orochi. He's no one.
Xu Shu
Takatora,
So there are gay people who don't know anyone's address, in Japan? I'm really sorry.
Xu Shu
Sima Yi,
That mailbox probably means a lot to your wife.
Xu Shu
Ma Chao,
So how is that new lighting unicorn thing I got you? (you better love it because it cost me half my salary)
Xu Shu
Wang Yuanji,
You know I questioned your mutual relationship with Sima Zhao. But since Lu Lingqi became your mistress, you made me have a deeper curiosity about you.
Xu Shu
Xiahou Dun,
Thanks for having me on your talk show. Oh and just so you know I don't know who that strategist was about the girl, maybe it was Zhou Yu or something, I don't know.
Xu Shu
Sima Yi,
Deez nuts.
Xu Shu
Sima Yi,
What do you mean you don't get it? Forget it go babysit your wife. (That sounded wrong, whatever)
Xu Shu
Sima Yi,
Why should I apologize for making pedophile jokes about you. You are one yourself.
Xu Shu
Sima Yi,
Exactly. Now make me sake sautéed octopus.
Xu Shu
Cai Wenji,
You know what, f*** you. You may seem like a pacifist with a harp. But you're just a female Sima Yi minus the evil laughter and arrogance. Good luck being Cao Cao's wife.
Xu Shu
P.S: I'm not telling you where Yue Jin is.
Guan Xing,
You know, you've got to stop hating, because I am not interested in your sister, she is super desperate and just so you know I did not raoe or drug her. Write as many death wishes as you want about me. It won't help you.
Xu Shu
Guan Yu,
You really need to spend time with your kids, believe me I can tell you haven't. Don't lie to me.
Xu Shu
Liu Bei,
I'm ashamed of you. I thought I would find some sort of purpose in Shu. But you and your biffles are the worst fathers in the country.
Xu Shu
Zhao Yue,
I must regret to inform you that your mother has been reduced to Guo Jia and a rapist. I'm terribly sorry.
Xu Shu
