A/N:

Remember, if you haven't seen/read/listened to Return of Keef, you won't get it, so look that up first please XD I'm feeling in a fluffy mood today, time to put it in writing XD enjoy and/or review! XD

I awoke the next morning to a soft thudding sounding at the back of my head.. For a moment, I panicked from not remembering where I was. However, I pieced together the grey-blue sheets and computers along with the posters of aliens and the Swollen Eyeball logo printed on some papers and remembered that I'd spent the night at Dibs. I froze, Dib, I'd stayed in Dibs bed. So the thudding was…

Turning my head slightly, I felt my cheeks burn as I found that I'd wriggled closer to him in sleep, my head on his chest. So that explained the thudding, it was his heartbeat. He shifted slightly from my movements, but remained asleep. What was wrong with me? This was getting beyond stupid. No, I did not like him being so close to me, I did not like the way his head drooped slightly against mine and I did not like the way he had his hand placed in mine. Wait, what? I peered under the sheets and found that in fact, our fingers were laced together tightly. I swallowed harshly, a fuzzy memory from last night where I was half-asleep resurfacing. So, he had taken my hand last night, but what had brushed against my cheek? No. That was just me being tired and imagining things. That much I was sure of. Where was I? Oh yeah, and I did not like the way he was so eager to comfort me when I was scared and… You're not buying any of this are you? … But this was getting ridiculous. He was my friend and that was that, nothing more.

Suddenly, he shifted a little and his eyes started to open. I quickly snapped my eyes shut and remained perfectly still. If he awoke to find me looking at him again, he would panic and I'd have to fake another freak out again. Knowing him, he would panic anyway. The back of my head started to tingle as I felt him looking at me. He tensed and the image of his eyes widening in horror came to mind. Just keep your eyes closed and there won't be any awkwardness, I told myself. Wait, what was this? He relaxed and where our hands were clasped, I felt his thumb smooth over mine softly before slowly pulling away. The bed rocked where he cautiously, and clumsily, clambered over me and there was a soft thud where I was sure he had tripped and landed on the floor. I bit down on my lip to stop myself laughing and waited until I'd heard the bedroom door close before finally allowing myself to breathe. Positive that I was safe, I got up and started getting dressed. A few minutes later I walked into the kitchen where Dib and Gaz were munching on cereal. Gaz shoved a bowl and the box towards me so that I could help myself.

"Good sleep?" I asked, openly.

Gaz shrugged, too involved in her gaming. Dib nodded, "Great thanks, you? The lightning was pretty bad…"

I swallowed my mouthful and averted my eyes, "Really? I didn't notice…"

He blinked, "Oh, okay."

"But yeah, I uh, slept well. Thanks." I added, feeling like I was being a little harsh.

Gaz paused her game and glanced at each of us in turn before getting to her feet slowly and making her way out of sight into the living room. I ducked my head and resumed my eating. This was just getting too much. Or maybe I was overreacting and reading too much into it. Yes, I was, grow up Amy.

"What time do you think we should head over to Zim's?" I asked.

He shrugged, "In an hour or so?"

"Sounds like a plan." I grinned.

He got to his feet and placed his cereal bowl in the sink. He had his back to me and seemed to be awfully rigid and hesitant as he washed up, "You know you talk in your sleep."

My head snapped upwards, "I what?"

"Well not really talk, you hum, like songs and stuff." He reassured me.

"Like?" I pressed.

He still hadn't turned around even though the dish was starting to squeak with cleanliness, "Uh, I'm pretty sure one was This Song Saved My Life' by Simple Plan, but the other I didn't know. It went like this…"

I listened to his humming and nodded, "All About Us by He is We. Sorry if I kept you awake, next time wake me up or give me a shove."

Finally he turned around and smirked at me, "It's okay, it's not the first time you've done it. So, next time don't worry about it."

My cheeks burned like hot coal, "Yeah well, you talk to yourself when you're awake."

He tilted his head, "You listen so technically that counts as me talking to you…"

I laughed, "No it doesn't,"

He rolled his eyes and tossed the damp cleaning cloth at me which I managed to grab in mid air and chuck back, smacking him in the face. He tried to hide a smile as I poked my tongue out at him.

"Want to head around Zim's?" I asked.

He sighed, "Why not?"

Within minutes, we were making our way back up to my house where Zim's base was situated right next door. For most of the way, Dib had been trying to wind me up by humming loudly. I jabbed him with my elbow right in the chest, knocking the air out of him. In turn he poked my ribs, forcing laughter out of me. I swatted him away and ended up accidently knocking his glasses off. He froze, arms out for balance, I jumped back and scooped them up handing them to him.

"Sorry!" I gasped, checking them over to see if they were scratched.

"Forget it," he shrugged as he replaced them, "After all the times with Zim and you think I would go and buy the stronger frames?"

"Fair point." I giggled.

He smirked slightly and knocked on the front door of the oddly coloured green-blue house. I'd like to say that we waited patiently, but frankly I didn't really want to near here with Keef around, and Dib was just itching to get back into the base, camera hidden in the pocket of his trench coat. Or rather, he thought it was. While his glasses were off, I'd slipped it inside my bag. I was going to give it back, just when Zim was out of danger of being exposed… Like I said before, I'm all for research, but I'm not interested in public humiliation.

The door creaked open slightly to reveal a pair of sky-blue eyes contrasting greatly against mint green skin. Zim eyed us grudgingly before opening the door a little wider to let us inside. He slammed the door shut behind us and folded his arms expectantly while tapping his foot. Clearly our presence was irritating him. I smirked and waved cheekily at him, making him narrow his eyes.

"I would have thought the Gaz-human would have wanted to see the results of Zims' work on the Keef-beast." Zim stated.

My smirk turned to a grin, "No sorry, Little-Gaz was busy gaming."

He bared his teeth at me warningly.

Dib cleared his throat, "So what did you do to him?"

Zim smiled wryly, "Why not take a look for yourself, Dib-monkey? Oh Keef… we have guests."

From the kitchen a figure emerged towards us. I found myself holding my breath in anticipation. It was Keef alright, but he looked so different. Not in the physical sense, he still has his bright orange hair and wide, curious eyes, but there was something off about him. His posture was as stiff as rock, standing perfectly straight and not moving a muscle. Wow, he didn't even blink. Dib took a slow step closer to the boy and tapped him on the shoulder. Still, Keef didn't even give any hint that he'd felt it.

"Man Zim, what did you do to him?" Dib breathed, "He hasn't even called us buddy or anything!"

Zim waved his hand passively, "Nothing of great proportion, this took less than an Earth hour! Zim even managed to get a few other small experiments done too." He smiled wryly before composing himself, "But now as you can see, he's the perfect minion now. I really don't know why I didn't think of this sooner."

Dib folded his arms, "Another moment of genius that got lost?"

"Exactly." Zim nodded, not picking up on the sarcasm, "Now Keef, go and prepare one of the escape pods for your trip."

Keef nodded and turned around to exit the room. As the back of his head came into view, I had to clamp my hand over my mouth to stop a shriek. From the nape of his neck upwards, stopping just behind his ears and top hairline, there was a large, thick metal slab patterned with wires and flashing lights. Oh my god…

"That d-didn't hurt him, d-did it?" I stammered.

Zim shrugged, "He didn't scream so I presumed not."

Oh man I thought I was going to be sick, "Can't you just send him home?"

Zim shook his head, "Zim found nowhere to call his home. There are no records of the worm-child anywhere, not even from when he was in the skool-prison."

Dib and I glanced at each other in confusion. No records? How was that possible, everyone had some kind of record. A school report, a passport, a birth certificate; anything. I looked over at where Keef had walked away and felt a sudden chill. That kid wasn't right… in any sense of the word.

"So where are you sending him?" Dib asked.

"Oh, a planet far away from here where his new service skills shall me most appropriate." Zim smirked cunningly, "I've been there myself a few times, he'll fit in perfectly."

We followed Zim up to where the escape pods were held. GIR was sitting on a while of boxes, waving at Keef as the boy walked back and fore loading box after box into a pod. I couldn't look at him, there was something really wrong about this, and yet I was feeling oddly okay with it, and that's what disturbed me the most. Keef stepped into the pod and the door was sealed shut behind him. Zim tapped in a few coordinates and a name loaded up in screen.

"Foodcourtia? What's that when it's at home?"

We all jumped back in surprise at the new voice in the room. Leaning against one of the empty pods, an eyebrow raised in sarcasm to match her tone, was Gaz.

"Zim looked around for a possible entrance and spluttered, "But-What-Grr… How did you get in here?"

She shrugged, "I walked in."

He faltered at her blunt and unhelpful answer. The two just stared at each other for a moment. Gaz with a look of boredom and loss of patience, Zim with a look of intrigue hinted with annoyance. I smiled to myself at the pair. Looks like Little-Gaz could keep away. My eyes swivelled to look at Dib, a knowing look on my face. He narrowed his eyes and clapped his hands together loudly, making them jump.

"So what's Foodcourtia?" he pressed, standing a little closer to his sister.

Zim shook himself and turned back to the escape pod, "I planet fully made up of fast-food chains. It's a place for banishment among my kind."

"So that's how you know about it." Dib smirked.

"Can it Dib-smell! Zim may have taken a few trips there but… YOU'RE LYING!"

"He didn't accuse you of anything." I muttered.

Zim glared at me warningly, "Anyway… He'll make a perfect minion on that planet, as long as he's nowhere near this one."

We nodded in agreement as Zim pressed the launch button. I backed away as the smoke poured out of the bottom, sending the escape pod shooting through the roof and off into the open air. It never ceased to amaze me that things shot out into the sky, especially in this area of town, and no one noticed. I could see why Dib got so irritated with the human race, in some senses, we were idiots. Speaking of Dib, I saw him starting to dig around in his pockets, obviously searching for his camera. Not wanting to give myself away, I turned my attention back to the escape pod that was shrinking into the distance.

"Bye Keef! Bye! Goodbye! Goodbye Keef! Bye!" GIR sang, waving energetically at the shrinking dot

Something about blasting a kid off into space to work without choice on a planet far in the galaxy after being put through countless experiments seemed really wrong. And in any other situation, it would be. But think about it. A creepy kid with a history of stalking follows us across two countries in a space ship to break into a house, then nearly kills us, accident or not, and expects us all to be friends. Feeling guilty or not, I was past caring, I was glad to see the sucker go. And he was being put to good use, and he wasn't dead so that was good too. The roof sealed shut, leaving us alone again in silence.

"Well, at least that's over with." Dib sighed, "Now what are these other experiments you've been working on, Space-monster?"

"Why you -!" Zim paused and looked at me with resentment, "Nothing. Nothing at all."

I rolled my eyes, "Zim, I'm letting you two off the hook. That wish thing was a joke, I was never actually going to force you into being friends with each other."

Zim eyed me warily, "This is some trick to test Zims' contract skills, isn't it human?"

"No, it's not. I'm being completely honest, you're free from my verbal contract, as you put it."

"With just days to go?" he pressed, looking hopeful.

I thought about it for a moment, there was today, tomorrow, and then it would be my birthday the day after that. Wow, it really was only just days to go. Now, I could have forced him into the deal again, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. There was no real point, it wasn't like he was sticking to it anyway. Plus, it just didn't feel like them without the constant battle. I know I complained about being caught in the middle, but I actually liked it. It was my place. Isn't that why I chose GIR's side in the first place, to get the best, and worst, of both sides?

"Yeah, verbal contract is now cancelled."

Zim tapped his chin in thought before lunging to the side and swiping at one of the leftover boxes, making it skid at Dib who avoided it easily. Just as Dib was about to gloat, another box came flying at him, this time hitting him in the chest and knocking him off his feat.

"Victory for Zim!"

"You'll pay for that you lizard!"

Gaz and I watched from the sidelines in slight amusement. She eyed me for a moment, a look of boredom on her face.

"Fancy going to Bloaty's while they have their moment?" she asked,

I glanced back at the two scuffling on the floor and shrugged, "Sure why not?"

As we left, I mentioned that I was going to drop my bag at home and grab some money for the food. She nodded and walked up the front yard with me and paused at the front door.

"You've got a present." She stated simply.

I looked down and noticed a parcel had been left on the front step. I picked up the brown package and looked for an address for name, there was nothing. I shrugged and let us inside where I led us up to my bedroom. While I was hunting for my purse, I heard the sound of ripping paper. Gaz had opened the parcel and was holding it out to me.

"Well, it was gunna be opened anyway. It's for you." She muttered, arching her brow.

I sighed, ignoring her tone and took the box from her. Inside was a birthday card and a disk. I looked at the card and almost fainted. My blood turned to ice and I felt like I was going to throw up. Curious at my frozen state, Gaz took the card from me and read it to herself.

Hey buddy! Happy Birthday! Sorry about before, I just got so excited! I got you something! It's a disk full of all the fun things me and the guys did back in the day! Have fun new buddy! See you around! Love Keef XXX

Without hesitation, Gaz snatched the disk from my hand and slotted it into my computer. As it loaded up, I finally found my voice.

"How did he know where I live? When did he post this?" When -"

"Don't know, don't care. He's not coming back." Gaz rolled her eyes, "But you may want to see this."

I peered over her shoulder and widened my eyes as the screen revealed pictured and video's of Zim playing ball with Keef. Then a few with Keef standing outside Dibs window and calling for him. There were so many, how did he even get some of these? Then came the last few clips. Dib and Zim sitting in a café, talking with clearly forced smiles on their faces. They spoke loudly as if trying to get hold of someone's attention, Keef obviously. Wait, what was this?

A handshake? Playing a hand-clap game? Keef dancing in the background, head pulsating from being 'sooo happy' apparently. Oh, so this was the happy goo stuff they'd mentioned before. So this was the plan, this is what Keef made them do. Well, a handshake and game wasn't so bad. Oh, hang on… Both me and Gaz watched, wide-eyed as the two edged closer together on screen, an arm reaching out along the others. They moved ever closer, disgusted expressions plastered across their faces. Arms wrapped around each other in what was unmistakably a… hug. My jaw hit the floor, Keef had actually made Dib and Zim hug. So that's what all the fuss was over!

Gaz looked up at me, smirking wryly, "You're going to have fun torturing them with this, aren't you?"

I nodded, not able to take my eyes away from the screen, "Yes, yes I am."