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Switzerland
What have I done?
I'm here, alone in my room. I don't know what time it is, but I don't care. I can't sleep, not after the terrible thing I've done. I can hear the rain drumming steadily on the window. Why does it have to rain? The rain reminds me of that day. That horrible day I. . . I hurt him. I hurt my best friend. His name was Austria.
I can still see his face in my head. I can see those eyes looking at me. Why were they looking at me like that? Why were was he looking at me like that? Those eyes. That face. I. . .hurt them. I hurt him. Why did I hurt him?
It's my fault. Everything is my fault. What did I do? Why the hell did I do it? He made me do it. It's all his fault! He's to blame, not me. There's another face in my head. He's got silver hair and a devilish, sadistic smile. I hate when he smiles like that. It means he's his own twisted kind of happy; it means he's torturing me. Then he's eyes too. They're red as blood and they take over my mind. With those eyes, that bastard controls me. I just can't do anything about it.
Suddenly there's a loud Rrrriing-Rrrriing/ Huh? A phone call this late at night? Who would. . . Then it hits me. No, no it can't be her. Not. . .Hungary. I hesitate and instead of answering let it ring for another moment. I can't talk to her, not after what I did. Does she know? Of course she knows, that's why she's calling. But what if she doesn't? Will I have to be the one to tell her that I was the one who. . . Hurt her lover?
I can't take this anymore. I have to answer it. My hand goes to reach for the phone but then I hesitate again. What if it isn't Hungary? What if it's him? What if he's calling to come taunt me again and make me do more terrible things? Wasn't Austria enough? Wouldn't he be satisfied with that? Who am I kidding? I know him better than that. Even everything I ever had would never be enough for him.
My hand picks up the receiver and I bring it next to my ear. I don't say anything. There's silence on the other line for what seems like a second of eternity. But then I hear a voice.
Switzerland?
I was right the first time. It's her.
Switzerland, it's me Hungary. I'm calling from Spain's place.
She goes on to tell me that she's been there at Spain's house for the past week. Spain? I haven't seen him in since the war. .. He had locked himself up in his own country. She tells me she found him drunk, passed out half-dead on the floor. If she hadn't come, then he probably would've died.
She tells me that Spain's country is going through a terrible drought. There's famine and a new disease is spreading across the rural areas; it won't be long until it reaches the cities and possibly the surrounding areas. It started out in birds, and now it's spreading to people. It's not fatal, yet.
She stops talking for a moment. I think she's waiting for me to respond, but I don't. I don't know how. I don't know what to say. 'Sorry' that Spain is going through rough times? We all are. 'Sorry' that he almost killed himself? I don't blame him. 'Sorry' that I practically killed the person who you loved? No, she should never forgive me. I can't even forgive myself for what I've done. What I've done is unforgivable.
I know what happened. I know everything. Liechtenstein told me. And Switzerland, I forgive you.
No. No, what is she saying? She can't say those things. She just can't. She should hate me for the selfish bastard that I am. She should curse me forever. She should want to kill me, no death would be too easy, she should torture me until I can't speak because I've screamed out in pain so much. She has to do anything but forgive me. I can't. . .I can't be forgiven!
I'm sorry.
I say the words without realizing I am. What am I saying? What am I sorry for? Everything. I'm sorry that Spain is going through horrible ordeals. I'm sorry that the Axis won that fucking war and now use all of us as their play toys. I'm sorry that the Allies couldn't do anything but betray each other. I'm sorry that I've acting like a awful big brother as of late. I'm sorry that I hurt Austria. I'm sorry that we all have to exist in a cruel, broken, terrible world like this.
I'm sorry. Hungary I. . .I'm sorry. I had the worst choice to make. Prussia, he. . .made me choose. It was either Austria or he would've. . .he would've hurt Liech-
I can't get the rest of the words out. My voice stops and starts as if I'm crying but no tears are coming out. I've already cried all the tears I have left. In my head I'm reliving that nightmare of a memory. It's raining. The devil is there with is sadistic smile. My friend is in front of me and there's a gun pointed at his head. That's my gun. I'm the one who's going to shoot him. I'm the one who's going to hurt him. I'm gong to ki-
Switzerland! It's okay now. You're okay now. You don't have to torture yourself anymore.
Her voice rips me from my mind. Suddenly I'm back in my room. It's still raining outside. I wonder why the rain doesn't seem to have an end. For all I know, it could go on forever, but I don't want a forever rain; no one does. I want to stop it for all of us. I want to the sun again. I want to see Austria again. But can anyone really stop the rain?
The woman on the line tells me she knows about my plans. She says that maybe it could work. There's plenty of pockets of rebellion in her country and in America and Canada too. Those in Spain's country that can are willing to fight against the Axis. Iceland has hundreds of refugees from other countries and she's sure he'll help out too. And then there's even rumors that even France is willing to turn against the Axis. But soon the chatter of resistance will reach the ears of the Axis, if it hasn't already. She informs me that of we're going to make an attack, we've got to do it now.
What does she mean by 'now'? 'Now' as in today? Tomorrow? Next week? I wouldn't care; I would do it anytime. It would be a chance to fight, to rebel, to redeem myself for my actions, yet it's almost too good to be true. But what if 'now' is already too late? What if they've already found out about the plan? We can't just resist against a power so controlling, so overpowering, so evil. They basically control the world. If I think about it, then it's almost like we're trying to do that impossible thing. It's like we're trying stop the rain.
I have to tell you something.
What is it? Haven't you said enough?
My words came out harsher than I intended. Instantly, I wanted to take them back, but also I wanted to know what she would say. What could she say to make me change my mind? Deep down in my heart, I know I've given up hope. Those plans that I made seemed to be my last attempt to not give in, but as the days went by, I had realized that everything was just pointless. I could never change the world to the way it was before. I could never stop the rain. I just can't ask for redemption or atonement. All of it was just an impossible wish that would never come true.
Austria forgives you for what you did, Switzerland. He forgives you.
What will Switzerland choose to do? Can he really ever redeem himself? Oh you might find out next chapter~! It'll either be Iceland or France, I haven't really decided. . .
OMG! Hey would you all mind looking over at the drawings I illustrated for some chapters? Yes, not only am I fanfiction author but I also am an amateur artist in the works! ;D
Chapter America: art/Hetalia-A-Broken-World-Chapter-America-Repost- 388791996 (This is a repost because something was screwed up with the first time I tried to upload it . . .)
Chapter Lithuania: art/Hetalia-A-Broken-World-Chapter-Lithuania-39005 4860
Chapter Romano: art/Hetalia-A-Broken-World-Chapter-Romano-39151944 3
And a preview to France's Chapter!: art/Hetalia-A-Broken-World-Chapter-France-39151718 9
EDIT: Oh my dearies! It seems as if the links won't work (I didn't know lol). . . Hmmm. . .I still would love to show you, so check out my deviantart page, ~SecondKnight is my username there. Hopefully if you try to look me up you'll find me and le artwork!
Until next time~! :D
