Author's note: This is one of my favorite chapters, which is a little weird. It's such a depressing thing, but you learn a lot about Rosalinde's character. You also learn about Cedric's. Happy reading!
I swiftly learned that Cedric was as cold as ice. It really hit me on the day of my first feeding.
He led to me to the city and stopped. "Make your choice."
"What?" I asked, genuinely confused.
"Are you that stupid? You have to feed."
"What?" I asked again, stupidly. And then it registered in my mind. "No! No, no, no!" I cried. I turned to run but he was holding me back. Even with my newborn strength he was stronger. At least, that is what I thought at the time. Now I know that it was something more.
"It keeps you strong!" He snarled.
"Then let me be weak." I growled in return. I was very thankful that no humans had come near us. That would not last for long.
"They are the prey. They are weak and stupid. They deserve to die!"
I looked at him in horror. I could feel it in my veins. I could feel the bloodlust. I was a monster. It had not mattered before, when no one was in danger. Now I could feel it. A piece of me wanted to leap into the city and kill until I was the strongest. I would have to kill.
I had been dreading this moment, though I hadn't known what to dread.
"Humans are more than prey." I growled as much to myself as to Cedric.
"No member of my coven will weaken themselves unnecessarily." He snarled as he dashed off.
I decided to run. I didn't like the threat in his voice. I tried to turn to run, to save myself from having to feed a little while longer. I found I could not. I could not move. Panic set in. I struggled mentally against invisible bonds. There was nothing I could do. I had lost control of what happened to me. That scared me. I was completely and utterly caged.
Cedric finally returned, carrying a girl who appeared to be around my age. Her eyes were glazed as she stared rapturously at Cedric's inhuman beauty. I recalled the feeling of being mesmerized by Lucian's scarlet eyes.
I felt my thirst take over when the smell of the girl hit my nose. I was now completely and utterly out of control.
"Do you like my power?" Cedric asked. "It comes in handy."
I looked at him, horrified. He could do anything with such a power.
He released me. I fought the urge to jump on the girl and drain her completely. I knew, even as I fought harder, that I would lose. In these last few moments of humanity, there was only one thing I could give the girl.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered. I quickly snapped the girl's neck, granting her a painless death. I then relinquished my control.
When I resurfaced from my bloodlust, I found the girl's broken shell lying before me. Her blood covered my hands.
I felt a guilt and self-hate the likes of which I had never before encountered. I looked at her body and realized that I was looking at myself. It felt like I had died and some terrible thing had taken my place.
This is how I learned that I could not cry.
"You'll learn to make less of a mess." Cedric was smirking. I suppressed the urge to throw him into a tree or two. Or three.
I pulled myself off of the ground. "You worthless piece of…" I swore in my head because he had just frozen me again.
"Now," He said. "We can not have you misbehaving." I growled at him in my head. "I myself must feed, so you stay right there. He smiled at his little joke and ran off.
I was thoroughly stuck. I could not move an inch. I tried to, mentally battering at the chains holding my body immobile.
I had known I had a power since I had turned. It was like an itch in my mind. I knew that if I lost control and used it, Cedric would never let me leave. My instincts were telling me to use it now. What could it hurt?
What could it hurt? Cedric had told me of vampires with terrible powers. What if mine was like that?
But what if my power could release me from this cage?
I sighed and released my hold on myself, allowing whatever power I had loose.
I found that I could move, which was a major advantage. When I looked down at myself, I wasn't there.
Great. Invisibility. That was too ironic.
Muttering to myself, I ran in the direction of a stream I could hear. I wanted to see how my looks had changed.
When I reached the calmly moving stream I turned myself visible. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. I moved myself forward to see my reflection and gasped.
My skin had always been pale, but now I was white. My eyes were a shocking shade of blood red.
That wasn't what had me gasping, though.
Every feature on my face was perfect from my symmetrically pouting lips to my wide eyes. My scarlet hair was shiny. I let it down to find it settling in a way I could never get mine to.
I was beautiful. I just wished that it had not cost so much.
