A/N: I wish I had a legit excuse for why I was unable to update Sunday, but there is none. I was just tired, and while I did sit down to edit, the progress I made was erased and I got too frustrated to do it all over again. So here we are, Wednesday, and I'm finally deciding to grace you with the chapter you so deserve. I'm stuck in chapter 14, and I would rather really be moving on to chapter 15, but I'm all tripped up. 14 I can tell won't be of the greatest quality, so I'll probably take pity and update another chapter. Don't be mistaken; I WILL be updating this Sunday. My schedule finally panned out and now I'm all up to speed with everything, mostly, so don't fret too much.
As it is, last Friday, I tried out for the play "The Death of Edgar Allen Poe." It's a marvelous little thing and I did a damn fine job of showing off the meager skills that I had. When I checked the cast list, I wasn't on it, but instead I was made Stage Manager! I was like "What? Me? Erin (the director) you trust me enough to do such a job?" Essentially, it's my job to know the coming and goings of everything. Whenever Erin isn't available, the other actors know to run to me (even though it isn't necessary, 'cause well, they've known Erin longer than I have) but it's still a huge honor. Didn't get in the play, but I'll be damned if I don't take my job as Stage Manager seriously. And as it is, I have to go to play practice every day, so I'm not missing much :) Now, on with the story! Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, that's all Kishimoto's business.
Chapter 7: The Hardest Of Hearts
The day had gone by too quickly for her liking. It seemed that every time Hinata looked at the clock, another hour had passed and before long, it was ten past three o'clock. With a small cry of distress, she realized that she wasn't at all prepared to leave yet, not with her desk area an absolute mess and her hands dusted with ink from her notes at yet another project meeting. Quickly, she gathered her tote bag and coat, juggling several items including her smart phone and a few more blueprints of fanciful European-style houses.
"Hinata-san!" Hideo peeked his head around the makeshift wall of her office, his eyes wide as a grin spread over his face. "Your husband is here!"
Her face flushed as Sasuke appeared beside the man, his arms folded over his chest, those smoky eyes of his taking in everything about her office. She could tell he wasn't impressed – this was after a small company, who specialized in remodeling and interior decorating – and she couldn't stop the bolt of irritation that shot through her. Looking away, she smoothed out her clothes, trying not to look as harried as she felt, and carefully began to pack up. Somehow, it had slipped her mind that Sasuke would be picking her up so that they could go to this meeting together, then they would pick Seiichi up from daycare early.
She started when he suddenly took her coat, leaving her free to carry her tote bag. Her gaze found his, but no words to explain what he was doing passed between them and he ushered her quickly towards the elevator. The eyes that followed their trek glittered with excitement, but none dared to stop them and talk to her. She could only assume that it was because of Sasuke's presence; he found it unacceptable of random strangers to come up and talk to him about anything, hence why most of the tabloid photos of him were from far away, and no one had been capable of pulling a direct quote from him to date. She, on the other hand, spent a good portion of her time answering questions and chatting with eager paparazzi.
As soon as they were alone in the elevator, Sasuke spoke, his voice low yet strong. "That wasn't what I was expecting."
"And what was it you were expecting?" she asked, trying to keep her voice cool. The irritation hadn't left her yet, and she hadn't an answer as to why it had arrived in the first place. "I must admit, it isn't the nicest or greatest company, but I do enjoy where I work, and I do like my coworkers. They are eccentric and loyal."
His eyes found hers and she felt her face warm as the meaning of the words finally reached her. "I-I didn't mean... I just meant to say that they are good people." She wrung the handle on her tote bag, averting her eyes away from his. She felt so flustered in his presence, like when they were first together and she was just learning his ways. When they had begun sharing an apartment, she had spent so much time watching him, learning his routine, his likes and dislikes. Under the impression that he wouldn't tell her anything, she had done her best to accommodate him, and after so many weeks of studying his every moment, Sasuke had finally caught her, the wry smirk on his face telling her she was foolish. She only needed to ask and he would provide an answer.
Swallowing around the sudden lump in her throat, she shifted away from him, slipping the strap of her bag up her shoulder and folding her arms across her abdomen. Sasuke stayed silent, one hand placed in the pocket of his suit pants, the other loosely holding his car keys. The elevator doors open and she walked beside him, immediately spotting his shiny black coupe among the sedans and station wagons of her coworkers. The coupe was a gift from Mikoto, a sleek four-seater to replace the old two-seater. With this, they were capable of taking Seiichi wherever they went, and Sasuke didn't have to give up style for comfort and space.
He opened the door for her and she slipped into the gray leather seat, tugging the seat belt across her chest. The car started and classical music filled the air, barely chipping at the silence that sat between them. She could find no words to say to him, all of them saved for Ino and the questions she would surely ask. Hinata planned to give everything she had to the woman, hoping to rid herself of this sinking, dreadful feeling. Her stomach knotted with nerves and she fiddled with the strap of her bag, her thoughts running at a mile a minute. At the forefront of her mind though was what Sasuke would say to Ino. She wanted so badly to understand his mind – that after these three years together, she knew quite possibly nothing about him.
"Seiichi's birthday," he said suddenly and she whipped around to face him, eyes wide with shock and confusion. He paused and rolled his shoulders, flexing his fingers against the faux wood steering wheel. "What are we going to do for his birthday?"
She blinked, looking forward once more. "Oh, well... I suppose some playmates of his could come over, and the family as well. I don't think it will be too large a party."
"At our house?"
She shot him a look and nodded slowly. "Yes, I would think so." She furrowed her brow when he relaxed, his eyes focused on the road, but didn't question his motives. Sasuke may have once told her that she only needed to ask if she wanted to know something, but these days, he was a secretive man. Or perhaps, she had been too caught up in trying to create this perfect household that she hadn't asked him of anything.
Licking her lips, she accepted the silence that seemed to come over them whenever they were in the other's presence. For the past week and a half, they hadn't more than a hundred words to each other, dividing their attention between Seiichi, work and friends. They purposely kept their schedules packed, and the only time they seemed to cross paths was during the evening, when the day was winding down and there weren't any errands to run or paperwork to do. That impromptu dinner party was the first time in days that they had held a decent conversation.
"What do you think Ino-chan will ask us first?" Hinata thought aloud, feeling her face flush when Sasuke's gaze fell on her for just a moment.
He draped his wrist across the steering wheel, shrugging with one shoulder. "I'm not a mind reader, Hinata."
"But you can guess, can't you?" She bit her lip, wringing the strap of her bag.
He frowned lightly, his eyes narrowing by the slightest fraction. "... What your reaction was when you first discovered my infidelity."
She looked to her lap. "Oh..."
"Why – what did you think she would ask?"
Hinata paused, worrying her bottom lip. She had bit it hard enough to draw blood and the metallic taste of it lingered on her tongue. "Well... Why we decided to come to couple's counseling instead of getting a divorce." She shifted uncomfortably, unable to look at him. "Hanabi-chan told me last night that I should have kicked you out of the house immediately."
"So I heard." He tossed her another casual look. "And I wouldn't have faulted you if you did. How could I? – You've got a right to be angry with me. I fucked up."
She turned her hesitant gaze on the windshield, studying his reflection. "But... you don't often make mistakes."
He stiffened beside her, though his posture was deceptively relaxed. After a few beats of silence, he spoke again. "No... I don't suppose I do."
She turned her gaze back to her lap, and said nothing more. The next twenty minutes to Ino's office was filled with tense, contemplative silence, and once Sasuke turned the radio on, desiring some kind of noise but unable to talk to his wife, classical music allowed her to analyze their current situation.
They pulled into a parking spot before the address Ino had given them and he turned the engine off, but neither of them got out. Sasuke sat back in his seat with a weary sigh, barely audible in the sudden quiet as Hinata studied the building before her. It was squat and square with only two levels, double-hung windows, and a chocolate-brown brick exterior. The little bit of a lawn it had was lush and green, featuring a plum tear and carefully trimmed yellow rose bushes. The frosted plexiglass door had Ino and a few other therapists names scrawled across its front. Despite its drab architecture, Ino had managed to make it approachable and cozy.
Sasuke finally hit the button to unlock on the car door, easily sliding out into the cool air. "Well, this is it. Are you ready?"
She stayed silent, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. The sudden doubt that had hit her along with the silence of the quiet engine had left her questioning her actions. Though she had been an advocate for therapy, she herself had never gone, and never before had she said such words in front of Ino. It wasn't that she didn't trust Ino, because she did. The woman was most qualified of such a job, otherwise she wouldn't have gotten a PhD in the topic. But what if Hinata found herself unable to speak in front of Ino? She had been taught to hold back her emotions until a more appropriate time, which was usually never. Hiashi, until recently, didn't like to talk about whatever was bothering her. And while Neji was like a brother to her, she knew he was more action than words. While Hanabi was her sister, and closest friend, Hinata knew as an older sibling, she could never burden the younger woman with such emotional thoughts and ideas.
So she had been left to cope by herself, with no one to listen to what she had to say. Sasuke, on the other hand, seemed more than capable of talking – he just didn't wish to. Mikoto was always asking if he wished to discuss something, and Sasuke was always turning her down. At first, she had found her husband's lack of discussion disconcerting. If he didn't want to talk with his mother, how could he possibly want to talk to her? But despite this, whenever she had wanted to complain to him about anything, he had listened and provided a solution. Even when they weren't on the best of terms, he did what he could to make her life comfortable.
The passenger side door opened and she turned to face the man in question. Smoky eyes lit on hers, his brow furrowed. "What? Something wrong?"
Slowly, she shook her head, and he took her hands in his, easing her out of the car the way he had so many times before. Her mind flashed back to when they first began "dating," how he was such a gentleman about everything. Either Mikoto had drummed manners into him, or he had simply been putting on a show, she didn't know, but these days he acted the same. There was always a hand on the small of her back, possessive and weighty as he led her past people and conversations; there was an arm around her shoulders or waist to hold her close to him, even when they were talking to separate people. He just always seemed to be... close.
He dropped her hands, but kept her coat, locking and alarming the car as she headed towards the building. She didn't hear him catch up, and hardly noticed when he pulled the door open. Her mind was on the days when they first came together, when she was still learning who he was an individual, what his interests and distastes were, where he went to hang out with friends, where he went to be alone, those sorts of things. She supposed he had been doing the same, studying her actions and words, trying to figure out her mind. They had never really discussed what they wanted from this life of theirs, except for that one time in the car on the way to the airport, and they had been too preoccupied during the charity trip to really come to some ground rules about what they expected out of each other.
She had just assumed – and maybe he had done the same as well.
Suddenly, reality came rushing back and she found herself standing before the receptionist's desk, and beyond that, an automatically locked frosted glass door and glass wall. Beyond the glass wall was a cozy waiting room, leading down a corridor with a few walnut doors, each with a golden plaque she couldn't read. Sasuke, his voice quiet in the serene environment, told the woman of their appointment and Hinata studied the little area they were in. Between the two plexiglass doors was a few cushioned benches, and oshibana prints mingled with nature photographs on the natural brick walls. It was cozy and warm, calming in its affect.
There was a beep and Sasuke ushered her through the now open door to the waiting room. Before they could think to sit, one of the door opened and Ino rushed out to greet them, a warm smile on her face. "Hello, Hinata-chan, Sasuke-kun! I'm so glad you could make it." She gave them each a firm handshake, before leading them into her room, which was spacious and bright. The wall opposite the door was lined with low bookshelves, brimming with fiction novels and philosophy books. Along the top were framed nature shots and pictures of her friends and family, both in color and in black and white. The deep navy blue walls were soothing, and a picturesque window looked out onto the busy street behind the building. Her desk sat in front of the window, slightly cluttered with loose paperwork and various other items, and a grouping of tan leather armchairs before the desk is where they seated themselves.
Ino filled paper cups of water for them, dressed so casually in a buttercream-colored sweater, designer jeans and crisp white flats, that Hinata felt out of place in her tan slacks and aubergine blouse. Sasuke settled into the seat beside her, accepting the cup Ino handed them. Hinata sipped slowly, unsure of what to do or what to say in the other woman's presence. She felt shy and awkward, wanting to talk and yet unable to. The words that had come so easily before were now stuck in her throat, threatening to slid back down to the pit of her stomach if she didn't get up the courage to finally put a voice to them.
Ino seated herself once more, a pen and paper pad in hand, her legs crossed as she flashed another welcoming smile and pressed the record button on a small audio recorder, setting it on the coffee table in front of them. "I can tell you've been discussing some things before you got here today." She turned her sky-blue eyes on Hinata, who tried hard not to choke on her water. "Can you tell me about what you said?"
Sasuke rolled his shoulders to ease the tension in his body as Hinata set the water down. "Well, I asked what he thought you would say to us when we got here."
"Oh? And what did you think I would say?" She turned to Sasuke with a grin.
He lounged easily in the chair, feet spaced neatly apart, one hand resting on the arm of the chair, the other on his knee. "What Hinata's reaction was to first learning about my infidelity."
Ino nodded approvingly. "That's a good one. What did you think I would ask first, Hinata-chan?"
Hinata flushed, unsure of why she found this moment embarrassing, but spoke anyway. "... Why we came to couple's counseling instead of getting a divorce."
Ino paused, and when she spoke again, there was a level of seriousness to her tone that made both of them sit up straight and take notice. "Hinata-chan, Sasuke-kun, do you really wish to save your marriage?"
"Yes." The unison of their voice shocked them both, and they looked to each other.
Ino's expression was earnest as she continued on. "Then give me a reason for why. Hinata-chan, you go first."
She bit her lip, looking to Ino. "For Seiichi-kun. He deserves a father."
"And you, Sasuke-kun?"
His response was quick, and jarring, like it always was to her. "I don't want to lose my family."
Ino jotted something down quickly, then lifted her eyes to them once more. "You have two different reasons. Hinata-chan, you say its for your son. But there are plenty of children who grow up mentally strong even with divorced parents who share custody. Besides, Seiichi-kun is young – he will accept seeing his father less and living with you alone easily."
Hinata couldn't help but notice Sasuke growing tense beside her, but he said nothing, wary of Ino. "I-I suppose that's true... It just never crossed my mind before."
"Because you didn't want to leave?"
"Because she couldn't," Sasuke interjected and Hinata's gaze snapped to him, wide with shock. Ino seemed unfazed, turning her curious gaze on him. Sasuke folded his arms, his knee bouncing lightly, but his expression straight as he spoke. "I told her she couldn't leave – that I wouldn't allow her to take my son away from me."
Ino wrote as she spoke, arching a brow. "But Hinata-chan is her own free woman, Sasuke-kun. What right did you have to tell her she wasn't allowed to leave?"
"I have no right," he snapped, then paused as Hinata cringed. He spoke more evenly, "I had no right to tell her she couldn't leave but I didn't want to see her go either. At the time, I thought I had no choice but to tell her so."
Ino studied him, her voice softer. "You were scared she would leave and never come back." She turned to Hinata as Sasuke sucked in a breath. "Hinata-chan, tell me, how did you feel when Sasuke-kun said you weren't allowed to leave?"
She licked her lips, looking to her husband beneath her lashes. He looked pale, as if the blood had drained from his features, and for the life of her, she couldn't understand why Ino's words had hit him so hard. "... Trapped and confused. Maybe even scared that I really couldn't leave. Seiichi-kun was my first priority and at the time, I had only wanted a minute to breathe and think. I couldn't do that with Sasuke lording over me."
Ino nodded knowingly. "And did he give you that space?"
"...No, not necessarily."
Ino wrote even more on her pad. "Did you get a chance to stop and think though?"
"We sleep in different bedrooms at the moment, so at night I did a lot of my thinking. And at work," she confessed in a soft voice, wringing the strap of her bag. "Otherwise, Sasuke and I were running after Seiichi-kun, making sure he didn't get into any trouble."
"Meaning, you didn't do a lot of talking with each other."
Sasuke, having finally calmed, settled back in his seat. "No. I preoccupied myself with work and I can guess Hinata did the same. Rarely did we cross the other's paths."
"How long did this go on?"
Hinata crossed her legs and Ino addressed Sasuke, allowing her breathe. "For about a week and a half."
"The dinner party?"
"It was impromptu. Hanabi let it be known that she was coming back, and our friends decided to bring over food and celebrate her homecoming." He shifted in his seat uncomfortably, his eyes looking away from her analyzing gaze.
Ino nodded, sitting back as she stared him down. "Then who suggested you go to therapy?"
"I did... I need to fix this mistake I've made." He turned back to face her head on, daring Ino to tell her he was wrong. "I want to rebuild our marriage, and unfortunately this is the only solution I could come up with."
She tilted her head, her blond ponytail slipping off her shoulder. "Your only solution?"
"I don't want a divorce," he muttered, his eyes falling to Hinata, who kept her gaze on her lap. "I don't want to lose her."
"Too." Ino's voice lit with compassion as they snapped their heads up to face her. "You don't want to lose Hinata too, is what it sounded like you wanted to say." At his sharp intake of breath, she nodded slowly. "You've lost something, maybe even a someone,who was important to you once before, I can see. And now that you're on the verge of losing Hinata, you can't help but be frightened."
Hinata looked to Sasuke, noting with silent shock that he was gripping the arm of the chair tightly. Those smoky eyes studied the blonde warily, but he finally nodded. She bit her lip, and reached for him, her hand falling easily on top of his. He jerked but quickly laced his fingers through hers, finding comfort in the simple gesture. It had been so long since they touched each other intimately, she couldn't help but revel in the feeling of his larger, rougher hand against her smaller, daintier one. It was a feeling she hadn't experienced in what felt like an eternity.
Ino said nothing about their sudden union, turning her attention on Hinata. "Sasuke-kun wishes to rebuild your marriage, Hinata-chan. Is that what you want?"
"Yes, more than anything." She flushed as his gaze connected with hers, but didn't look away. "Instead of this facade of a perfect family, I want something real and substantial. I'm tired of pretending to be happy when I'm not. It isn't fair, not to me, not to you, and not to Seiichi-kun. We deserve something better than just a union of two people." She tightened her grip on his hand and didn't break their locked gazes. "Don't you think so?"
"No questions," Ino interrupted, and they looked to her. "Never question your feelings, Hinata-chan. You want no more lies, no more play-pretend. That's what you're here for – to rebuild your marriage into what you want it to be." Ino scribbled on her pad, before finally asking the question Hinata knew was on the forefront of her mind. "Now, when you say your marriage is a facade..."
Sasuke cleared his throat, but they could still hear the rash emotion lying beneath it. She couldn't tell if it was because he was still dealing with Ino's revelation, or if he was still angry with their fathers after all these years. "Our marriage was arranged. Hiashi and Fugaku believed that the companies couldn't merge without the government getting involved, but wouldn't disagree should they come together because the heirs were to marry."
"Ah." Ino's expression softened as she looked to Hinata. "That must have been hard to accept."
"I did what I could to help the company since I can't work in its offices," she murmured and Sasuke's grip tightened.
The tension eased before Ino spoke once more, her voice low and warm. "And what about what you want? Does the company come before you?"
Sasuke tugged open the passenger side door and helped his wife inside the warm interior of the car, before walking around the front and sliding into the driver's seat. Hinata settled back against the seat, a soft sigh leaving her lips as she studied the building they had just left. For a moment, it was silent as he quietly shifted through the necessary movements of putting on his seat belt and turning on the engine, allowing the car to warm up. While they were in therapy, it had begun to drizzle lightly, dropping the temperature by at least ten degrees. As the car warmed, he sat back, his hand resting lightly on his knees.
Finally, Hinata shifted in her seat to look at him. "What did you think?"
There were so many thoughts he had in his head, that voicing just one was nearly impossible. In just that one hour, Ino had unlocked a lot of things he hadn't wanted to know about himself, but knew was essential to getting his marriage back on track. When she had said he didn't want to lose Hinata "too" he had nearly lost it, but contained his shock as best as he could and instead listened to what she pulled from Hinata. His wife seemed to have no secrets or filter, spilling her guts to their therapist with an ease he hadn't been capable of.
He had felt puny beside her, even when she had taken his hand in hers. There was so much more to this woman than he could imagine, and he found himself hesitating. He knew he needed to face this complex of his, but the prospect of dealing with it in its entirety, talking to Ino about his family and their issues, left him reeling.
She brushed her fingers across his hand and he blinked, coming back to reality. She studied him with a curious look. "Sasuke, is something wrong?"
"No." He licked his dry lips, looking at her. "What was it you asked again?"
"What did you think of Ino-chan?"
He pulled himself together and placed his hands on the steering wheel. "Oh. She was alright."
"Just alright?"
Silver eyes studied him warily as he frowned lightly, growing irritated. "I don't know, Hinata. She did the job better than I thought she would. She made me think about things I didn't really want to think about. Is that what you want me to say? That she made me question myself and our marriage and my whole life?"
"You're upset," she murmured, pulling away. "Why?"
He gritted his teeth, and rolled his shoulders to release the tension. He was upset, perhaps even beyond that. That "losing something important" bullshit – while true – left him aching when he shouldn't have been. Itachi was gone – had been for a long, long time. Sasuke had gotten over the absence of his brother, or so he thought, but the chasm in his chest threatened otherwise. Ino's words had struck a nerve and he couldn't help but be frustrated and agitated. With their hour up and a promise to attend the group meeting tomorrow, along with another session in three days, he was left to sort through his issues himself, and with his estranged wife at his side to boot.
Her fingers, cool against his heat, rested on his tense forearms. "Sasuke, could you please tell me what's wrong?"
"Oh, you want to know now, do you?" He caught her furrowed brow in her reflection in the windshield and cursed himself for being such an idiot. He licked his lips again, forcing himself to calm down. "I... It isn't anything you need to worry about, Hinata."
She sat back, folding her arms across her abdomen and turning her head away. "I always want to know what's wrong with you, Sasuke. It's been my job for so long to fix your mood, that I can't help but worry. Is that wrong of me?"
He shook his head, feeling a quiet panic steal over him. "No..." He trailed off, unable to voice his thoughts aloud. He had spent so long trying to bottle it all up, only allowing his irritation and frustration show, that he couldn't release it in any other form. Maybe if he were Naruto, he could blather on until he finally got it all out – or if he were Sakura, who had an abundance of girlfriends that she could turn to for advice and a natural gift of logical reasoning. He had been taught at a young age that no one needed to see his weakness, and acknowledging his lesser emotions made him lose the edge he needed in order to survive. Fugaku hadn't allowed them to talk about Itachi, not after it was clear he was gone and never coming back.
The tension stiffened his body as he wove the car through traffic, headed towards home. But he didn't want to go home and be stuck in her presence alone. For once, he wanted noise, some kind of sound that didn't allow him to think easily. If he could keep this feeling, he could keep his composure, and not lose himself to this damned panic that bloomed in his chest and seemed to malfunction his brain-to-mouth filter.
"Would you like to get something to eat?" he asked and she looked to him.
She contemplated the time for a moment, frowning. "Don't you need to get back to work?"
"I took the rest of the day off."
Finally, she nodded once. "We have time before we have to pick up Seiichi-kun. Is there any place you wish to go specifically?"
Ramen Ichiraku was always busy, no matter the weather or time of day. It was just the distraction he needed, and Hinata wouldn't be so quick to ask him such personal questions in the vicinity of so many people who could overhear their conversation. He turned off the highway they were on and quickly made his way through the skyscrapers and intersections, easily finding his way to a familiar hangout in his school days. Naruto had dragged him to Ramen Ichiraku plenty of times, often begging Sasuke to front the bill since he misplaced his wallet.
As soon as the car was parked, he was out, opening Hinata's door and tugging her jacket over her head to protect her from the rain. She could hardly speak as he swept her into the ramen shop and seated her at a booth, accepting a menu from a passing waitress. Hinata shook the rain from her hair and he turned his gaze intently on the glossy menu in his hands, pursuing the different types of udon, ramen, and soba there was to eat.
Hinata sighed softly. "I suppose we've done all the talking we'll do today."
He glanced up to her expectant gaze, frowning. "What else is there you want to discuss?"
Accepting the complimentary water from their waitress, she gently wiped the condensation from its side. "Ino-chan said you lost someone important to you. Was she talking about your older brother – Itachi-san?"
His frown deepened as he dropped his gaze. "Yes."
"You haven't told me much about him," she said softly, studying him with empathetic eyes.
He let the menu flutter to the table as he heaved a sigh, saying wearily. "What do you want to know about him, Hinata?"
"Maybe... what he was like?"
Sasuke finally gave her his attention, his voice low as he spoke. "In one word, Itachi was better than me – at nearly everything. He was older than me, smarter than me, greater than me. When he was still with us, Fugaku adored him, and I was constantly held me up to Itachi's standards." He placed his arms on top of the table, his knee bouncing beneath, brushing against hers. "Everyone likes to call me a prodigy, but I only got this way because of hard work. Itachi... He didn't have to work for much. He was gifted, truly. But even then... he treated everyone with respect. He never gave the impression that he was better than you – he accepted his natural superiority with grace and ease. Coupled with the fact that he was the apple of Fugaku's eye, his position as heir was secured and I was free to do as I pleased."
Hinata's hand rested on top of his and he took comfort in her gesture as she said softly, "And then he left."
Sasuke nodded, taking a sip of water to quell the ache in his chest. "Right, he left. One day, we were playing in the backyard, and the next he was gone. There wasn't even a goodbye – just a letter that came a week later and explained what had happened. Haha never did allowed me to read it though... she hid it before I could lay eyes on it. Whenever I asked, she always told me I wasn't ready yet. I'm still not, apparently." And he didn't think he ever would be, so he was more than grateful Mikoto had hidden it away so thoroughly.
Hinata gave his hand a comforting squeeze. "I wish I could say I understand where you're coming from, but my mother didn't leave us like your brother did. She died, quietly and peacefully. I grieved for her of course, but I was always grateful she died painlessly. As for you, he simply disappeared one day and just hasn't returned."
He studied her hand in his, the way her creamy skin glowed in the light, her long, graceful fingers and the smoothness of her glossy manicured nails. "I don't think he ever will return – or if I even want him to." He glanced up to see the waitress approach them and was more grateful than he should have been when Hinata didn't pull away from him. They ordered quickly and she immediately returned her attention back to him. "Why did you never tell me this? I knew you had an older brother, but not this much..."
Taking a deep breath, he let the scent of the ramen shop fill his head, trying to ease out the painful memories of Itachi. "Fugaku didn't allow us to talk much about him after he left. It was just like Itachi was never there. He took down all the family photos featuring Itachi in them, didn't say his name and closed off his bedroom. Haha – she couldn't stop crying, and I was too upset myself to do much but sit back and watch."
The sympathy that flooded his wife's eyes put a choke hold on his lungs, and he cleared his throat, but found there were no more words left to say. After a moment, she heaved a sigh, weary and long. "I never knew any of this."
"No it isn't exactly something I'd speak of." He couldn't look her in the eye and instead found himself studying the menu.
A smile blossomed over her glossed lips however, a happy flush spreading across her cheeks. "Do you know, this is the most you've ever said to me at one time."
His gaze snapped to hers and the sudden warmth that filled him at her delight brought a thin smile to his face as well. "Are you saying I'm a terrible conservationist?"
She laughed gently, saying lightly, "Well, you could certainly be better at it."
He arched an eyebrow. "If I remember correctly, you didn't stop stuttering around me until after we moved in together."
Their conversation continued in its light playful course, even as he paid and they went to rescue Seiichi from daycare. Despite spending the rest of day dealing with a cranky toddler, he couldn't help but reflect on the moment they shared in the ramen shop. Hinata's playful remarks and soft voice eased the ache in his chest, allowed his mind to drift from the many questions he had in store for Itachi. If the man ever deigned to show his face again, Sasuke wasn't sure what he would do anymore. Before, whenever he had thought of his brother, he had been angry and righteously so. But Hinata had made Itachi's abrupt disappearance seem like a sad departure, turning that nine-year-old kid in his memories a victim.
Now seated at his desk with midnight close on his heels, agonizing over documents he should have read hours ago, he couldn't help but reconsider his younger self. Had he been a victim? It never crossed his mind to think of it that way – he had been hurt, yes, by Itachi's absence, and angry that Itachi wouldn't even apologize for all the trouble he put Mikoto through, but never had he considered himself a victim. The word made him feel weaker than he was – Fugaku wouldn't have allowed anyone to say that about his family. Itachi was gone, what was done was done, they moved on, or so Sasuke thought they had.
"Sasuke?" Hinata poked her head into the study, frowning. "Do you know what time it is?"
He blinked blearily before waving her away. "I'll go to bed, don't worry."
"You shouldn't stay up so late. You need your rest too."
"I'm fine," he grumbled, returning his gaze to the papers at his desk. The kanji swam and he blinked, trying to regain his concentration.
She paused, before heaving a sigh in acceptance. "Alright. Don't stay up too late. We have a group meeting tomorrow."
"Yes, I know. Oyasumi nasai." The door slid shut once more and he sat back in his seat, finding himself needy and not knowing why. Itachi always brought unwanted emotions back to the surface and he quickly stuffed them back down, returning to his work. He needed to concentrate, and thinking of how much better his brother was compared to him didn't help.
A/N: So, you've done it once more, you've reached the end to another wonderful chapter. Next up is group therapy, yay! You'll get to meet all the lovely OCs I made up just for this occasion. I don't know if any them will make appearances outside of group, but I do know that they'll be awesome about helping Hinata and Sasuke through their problems. Also, be on the look out for Sasuke's attitude. I was reading back over the chapters, and realized he gradually shifts into being indifferent and that wasn't how he was in the beginning. He was more angry, more life-like, you know? Anyway, it was just a note I made - I don't plan to change anything about the latest chapters either. They're hard enough to write as it is.
Onto the guest reviewers:
Saihei: Oh, yes, there's just a river of emotion overflowing in that chapter, and I enjoyed writing it far too much, especially when Hanabi landed that smack on him. I just felt better for all that crap Hinata went through *sigh* Anyway dear, thank you for reading, as always :)
Aoi-212: I love you for reviewing, darling! Seiichi is just too adorable for words. He's what I hope for in a child. Thank you for reading!
sai molleda (Chapter Five): Yes, I know! I love going back and reading over it, unlike the rest of my stories up here xD Oh yeah, he was already on Hanabi's shit list, now he's been bumped to #1 Priority. With therapy, he and Hinata will get better, but not without Hanabi putting her two cents in, that's for sure. I promise, more romantic moments are on the way, it's just taking a minute because my planning is, as always, terrible. Thank you for reading!
On one more side note, I've got another interesting tidbit - I've managed procure myself a job. I have finally found steady employment! My first real job! I go in tomorrow at around 5p.m and work until 8p.m because, well, I've got play practice and that's something I can't really miss being that I am Stage Manager and therefore need to learn what goes where, how, why and when. Funny - it was Erin (the director) who managed to get this job for me. The woman who manages the store who hired me is a good friend of hers, learned that this play will end Oct. 6 (the showing is from Oct. 4-6) and was like "Oh, that's works out just dandy!" So I have a job now, all from knowing Erin. I should get her a present with the money I earn, 'cause she's such a doll! Remember my ducky darlings, always keep dreaming ~ A Dreamer Always
