This loosely follows some of the DA2 story line using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!

ELEVEN

As I was lazily soaking on the morning of my wedding, I suddenly recalled a conversation I had had with Anders long ago. We had just returned from one of our many trips to the Wounded Coast with Varric and Isabela, this time helping a group of Starkhaven mages flee from Templars. I was lounging on one of the many roughly cut windows that allowed air to circulate in Darktown by his clinic, wondering if the Templar Thrask had been found out when I noticed that he was standing at the open doorway of his clinic, staring at me. It was one of the rare days when there were few patients in dire need of his care and fewer who were in need of my help.

"Why do you continue to help these people, Seelia?" he asked finally.

"Why do you?" I asked in return, rolling my neck and shoulders to relax the knot that had been developing.

"I do it because they are the ones this city has chosen to forget," he said simply, coming up behind me and placing his hands on the back of my neck. I could feel the small bit if magic he was exerting to help relieve the tension I felt as he massaged my neck gently and I sighed.

"As do I, Anders. They are also Ferelden and I help them simply because I can. We both use what we have been given to do so; I with my sword and you with your magic," I said and took one if his hands in mine. "I do not seek redemption as you do and despite your crusade, you help them for the very reason that I do." I placed a light kiss on the palm of his hand before I looked out again at the water below.

"Am I that simple to explain?" he asked, this time adding a small amount of heat to my neck.

"I believe you are. Once you may have considered yourself a selfish man in wanting nothing more than your own freedom and perhaps a chance at happiness," I started to explain but he interrupted, moving away from me abruptly.

"Is it so selfish to want what is denied every mage, Hawke?" he asked angrily and I turned to him.

"No, I firmly believe that everyone should have that right, as you do. And now you chance going back to the very place you have run from in helping these people. In joining with Justice, you champion the freedom you now have for every mage in Thedas. Even if it is a slow frustrating battle, still you stand defiant. That is the one thing I cannot find fault in Justice. Even when he is now paired with your vengeance, Anders," I said and looked at him evenly. I knew to continue would only bring out Justice and ruin our time together.

I watched as he took in what I told him, seeing his emotions flash upon his face as I got up and went to him to wrap my arms around him. I wanted nothing more than to erase any doubt he had that I would always be there for him, despite the growing tension between Justice and me. I kept telling myself that things would go back to the way they were when we first met and he would have no more reasons to question my feelings for him.

Even then, he looked confused and sad and I wanted nothing more than for him to be happy. I tried so hard for him to see that I stood by each of his choices, helping him even when it meant putting me in situations where my companions did not agree with what he was trying to achieve. I continued to defend him even when it became apparent that Justice was starting to…No, do not think about such things on this day, I reminded myself.

But soon after, he left and I desperately needed to mend my broken heart, placing myself in dangerous situations and even those around me could do nothing but watch as I spiraled downward toward self destruction. It took almost losing Fenris to make me realize that I could not continue on the path I was on and instead take time for myself to heal. To help matters, Anders was not seen for many months and some believed he had moved on if not for the whispers coming from Darktown of his presence.

I could not deny that I continued to remember similar conversations with Anders during our time together. He had finally relented and confessed why he had fled from the Wardens yet there was still so much that I never knew of his past. Not even his true name…thought that was something he himself could not recall. I had often wondered if what happened to him caused him to forget his life before the tower. To be taken away from all who knew you at such a young age was something I could not relate to, as my father sheltered Bethany from sharing a similar fate.

Time to put such thoughts behind me, I reminded myself, getting out of the now cooled water and began to dry off to prepare for the long, joyful day ahead of me. Soon Isabela, Aveline and Merrill would arrive to help me dress and together we would make our way to the Chantry.

Today is my day happiness, I thought as I looked longingly at the gown I was to wear, thinking about finally seeing the wedding clothes Varric had gone with Fenris to have made for this day. Everything was set, with everyone I cared about to be by my side…

So why could I not stop thinking about Anders! I asked myself angrily as I roughly brushed my hair to keep the tears from falling. I laid the brush I had down before I did more damage to my drying hair and waited for my friends to arrive.