I got the chapters tititles mixed up XDXDXDXD

Have more music.

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11: Training Montage

Aleks

"Drop in three, two, one," Shepard counted down, reaching up and pulling a handle. "Drop!"

It was actually very anticlimactic. There was a slight jolt, and then a gentle feeling of falling. This went on for about thirty seconds. It actually wasn't two bad. I hummed to myself, mentally composing a little waltz.

"Engaging deceleration thrusters," Shepard said calmly. About a second later, we were forced downward into our seats by what felt like ten anvils. It was like the most dramatic theme park ride you've ever been to, times one thousand. Like the theme park ride from hell.

And the shaking. Oh dear God, the shaking! The Mako shook with what felt like a million different out-of-sync vibrations, like it was about to shred into a million pieces and drop us onto the planet.

"HOLY SHIT WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Kevin shouted, but I could barely hear him over the cacophony of horrid screeching coming from Sandra and my own top-of-the-lungs shouting of agony.

"It's no worse than a helo, it's no worse than a helo..." Jason muttered to himself as the Mako shook itself to pieces. At least, I think that was saying, because although he's not a quiet guy everyone else was literally screaming at the top of their lungs. "Fuck it, this is way worse, we're all gonna die!"

"Impact in three, two, one." Shepard counted down again, still calm and professional. This time it wasn't being pushed into the seat. It was more like having a gigantic sledgehammer slam you into the seat. I felt like my eyeballs were going to pop out, along with my bones and vital organs.

Fortunately, the sensation only lasted a moment, but it still left me feeling like I'd been tossed in a giant blender in frappe mode.

"Oh, thank God, we've landed," I commented.

"Ow. I think I broke a bone." Sandra winced. "Or all of them."

Then Shepard hit the accelerator.


Jason

As soon as the Mako stops, Sandra immediately undoes her harness, rips her helmet off and throws up all over the floor of the Mako.

I feel pretty much the same. Like throwing up, only I can hold it down better. I'm sure the other guys are, too.

Even I feel sick.

I shout, "Look, Commander, I'm not saying you're a bad officer, but if you drove that way in Iraq someone would waste you."

Oh come on, you wouldn't really do that, would you?

Not me personally. But some of those guys were nuts.

Shepard raised her arms into the air. "Hey, it's not my fault, this thing handles horribly!"

"Oh, that is such rubbish!" Aleks spits back.

"You want to try it?" Shepard challenges.

"Come on, everyone knows you're just a bad driver!"

"Hey, isn't Edolus the planet with the Thresher Maw?" Sandra comments, reseating her helmet.

"Thresher... MAW!" Shepard shouts, then hammers the accelerator. Fortunately, I'm still in my harness, and so is Kevin. Aleks and Sandra, though, get thrown into the back of the Mako.

"Jason, get on the gun!" Shepard orders.

"Yes, sir!" I shout back automatically. Oh, there's going to be hell to pay for that. I unclip my harness and am promptly thrown into Sandra by a hard turn.

"Damn it!" I pick myself back up and grab on to the turret basket, using the metal frame to pull myself up into the turret as the Mako pitches and rolls around me.

There's a mostly empty control panel in front of me with a large screen that isn't turned on. No controls. The whole thing must be holographic. "Shepard, no joy up here!"

"Turn it on!" Frantically, I search for an on switch. Smooth metal, smooth metal, wiring!

"Fuck!" I slam my fist down on the panel and surprisingly a holographic interface comes alive, along with a live view of the turret with targeting reticule and everything. One of the holographic controls looks like a joystick.

"You're really bad at this!" Shepard shouts at me.

"What do you expect?" I shout back, slamming the "joystick" to the stops. "The closest thing I've done to this is sitting in an Abrams once!"

I've gone too far and I slam the joystick back over, kinda-sorta lining up on the thresher maw. There's a big red symbol on the panel that look like "fire" and I slam my other fist down on it.

I feel a slight whump and a bright blue projectile streaks toward the Maw and explodes. The thing screeches, bleeds, and dives back under the soil.

"No target, no target!" I shout.

"Emerging at seventy!" Shepard shouts back, hammering the accelerator again. Seventy what... degrees! I pivot the turret around and sure enough, the Maw is there. It spits acid at us and barely misses thanks to Shepard braking.

I miss too. The red symbol disappeared but there's another one beside it. I mash it and a stream of bullets streaks toward the Maw. So that's the coax. I light that fucker up.

"Maw diving!" I shout as the thing hops back into the ground. I pivot the turret around, searching for the thing. God damn it, why does this thing only have the tiny front viewscreen.

"Right behind us! Hold on!" Shepard shouts. I feel like we're suddenly flying, probably because we are. Shepard's hit the jets, and we're now in the air and tilting like crazy.

I bring the turret around and fire, missing horribly with the main gun and ripping across the Maw and half the landscape with the coax. How the hell am I supposed to lay an unstabilized gun when we're flying? I mean, could this thing be any more poorly designed?

The coax control goes blue and flashes, with an overheat warning above it. So, yeah, there's that.

"Damn it, Shepard, give me a shot!" I shout as the Maw dives away from us again.

"I'm trying!" she yells back.

Suddenly, the Maw comes out of the ground right in front of us. Shepard slams hard right and hits the gas. I bring the turret back around.

At point blank, I can't miss. I put a round right through the head of that oversized worm, blowing it to pieces. It's almost comical the way the thing wavers and crashes to the ground.

I state habitually, "Clear."


Kevin

"Well, this is pretty gruesome," Aleks says as he follows me out of the Mako.

"I, uh, think I'm going to wait in the Mako," Sandra says in an embarrassed tone, retreating. "I don't want to, you know, do that again."

Jason is, of course, an incomprehensible mess of cursing and swearing.

Aleks turns to me. "You know, this is surprisingly serious, all things considered."

"This is a sombre moment," I tell him. "No parodies today."

Shepard is just standing there, staring at the bodies of the dead marines. I'm not sure if she's in shock or just pondering.

See, one of Shepard's potential backgrounds has her the sole survivor of a thresher maw attack. I think it was on Akuze. That would define her and although it's barely mentioned in the game, it's something that's usually explored at lot more in fanfiction. Sometimes she just sees this and locks up, which is what it looks like now.

Then again, I was never good at reading people.

"Hey, Commander, you okay?" Jason asks.

Shepard's head snaps up. "Yeah, just thinking. Someone... someone close to me almost died in an attack like this one."

She turns to us. "Come one. Let's retrieve these bodies, destroy the distress beacon, and get the hell out of here."


Sandra

"All of you should have seen me much earlier. You are all in extremely poor health."

Jason is the one who breaks the awkward silence. "Excuse me, doc?"

"You are all in very poor health," Dr. Chakwas repeats.

We're sitting on the beds of the Normandy's infirmary. Shepard sent us here because we got all banged up on the mission and she wants to make sure we're okay.

Dr. Chakwas points to me first. "Extremely poor muscle tone and asthmatic as well. And you have several allergies, including pollen. How could you end up with such medical problems?"

"I, uh, I guess I never thought about it before." I shouldn't do what I did before and tell her I'm from the 21st century. That would be very bad.

She moves on to Jason. "Decent musculature, but heavily degraded ligaments and joints. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were carrying extremely heavy loads with no lift assist despite not having the augmentations for it."

"I did. Three times, actually."

Aleks is next. "Odd muscle proportions, the beginnings of serious issues with your wrist and hand bones, and your entire respiratory system has taken a beating. You've been abusing yourself, young man."

"I never really thought about it that way."

She stops at the last bed, which Kevin is sitting on. "Asthma even worse than your friend's. Obesity. Mild hypoglycemia. In addition to generally being out of shape. Do you have any idea how poor your health is?"

"Pretty bad, I guess."

She steps back. "In addition, all of you are missing several very important vaccinations. Frankly, you should not have been aboard this ship. It's a miracle you've avoided serious injury or illness."

"So, what happens now, doc?" Jason asks.

"You'll be given the vaccines you are missing, and your pre-existing conditions will be treated." She pauses ominously. "This may take a while. And it may be somewhat painful."

This is not going to be fun...