Hi! This is Echoshadow, coming to greet yours truly from everywhere around the world! I'm coming here to...(face falls as I realise why I'm here)...uh, comment on this...uh...passage of horrendously-strung-up letters and numbers...(stuttering)
Okay. Anyway, putting the depressing reason for my arrival aside, I would like to give a big shout out to AnEternalMelodyToAFlamingSoul, Echo in the Whispering Wind, and Goldenshine21! Thanks for reviewing, and Goldenshine21, thanks for being there throughout my very short life! Also, I would like to thank A Flower's Shade for the favouriting and following! Welcome aboard this adventure! (albeit a very perilous one)
Reply to Reviews (Yess i get to put the 's' after 'Reviews' this time!)
Echo in the Whispering Wind: Once again, thanks! ;)
TheScaryCherry (Chapter 6): Oh, Star[whatever is her last name now] can be whatever she wants in her own world. After all, she is a Star[kit/paw/gleam]-Sue. Right? (side-eyes the aforementioned cat)
And in response to the many reviews Goldenshine21 posted...(dramatic grin)
Goldenshine21 (Allegiances/Alliances): Genetically, no, purple eyes aren't allowed. But if Starkit can have such a ridiculous name, fur colour, eye colour, personality, and thinking...I think we should have fun and give poor Stonestream purple eyes, no?
Goldenshine21 (Prologue): Uh...if Starwhatever was reading this...? Uh...she would die of anger before she could do anything...I hope.
Goldenshine21 (Chapter 1): Are you saying Leafpool and Yellowfang aren't medicine cats?
Goldenshine21 (Chapter 5): Just because a girl likes pink and Hello Kitty doesn't mean she's girlish! (Nose rapidly grows longer) Argh.
There! Done!
Disclaimer: I do not own warriors. I do not own this story. I also do not own Tom Sawyer. Full stop.
Let's get ready to embark on this journey, full of red curly lines, horrendous spelling that a blind mouse would recoil at, irritating extra '1's, truly messy-
Okay. I should stop procrastinating. Let's. Go.
Chapter Ten The Recluse
(We're gonna get a break from this story! Then-then why did I rant so much just now?)
"EVERONE FALLOW ME"
(Apparently not. Cabin crew, please brace yourself for impact.)
meowled StarPleam
(I've heard of Starkit, Starpaw, Stargleam, Gleamstar [spoiler alert], and even Staridiot, but StarPleam? Whatever. Not my fault xdarkrosesx botched up StarPleam's name.)
as see charred
(A fire scene was omitted, I see. Perhaps it involved Stargleam saving the butts of everyone in ThunderClan, and the author had to take it down because it triggered too many gag reflexes and seizures in readers. Yeah, that makes sense.)
for th3 entranse to eh camp. Tares stremmed
(I shall interpret this as I wish. So...[squints at words] hares strummed? Yup, looks like it. [Bugs Bunny suddenly appears, strumming a guitar and singing soulfully about how StarPleam stole his carrot and sanity])
down her face1
(I see I missed an important detail. Strumming down StarPleam's face. Alright. Bugs Bunny, is it possible to strum down a Mary-Sue's face? What did you say? That if her face was a guitar you could do it? Huh. Let's imagine Bugs Bunny perching on the top of StarPleam's head, plucking her whiskers (off) like strings That sounds...nice.)
she wuss so sad her fahter had deid her leader was gunn.
(Firestar was a gunn. Not impressed.)
"FLAMEPAW LAKEPAW DUSTPELT MOM LOINBLAZE FALLOW ME." She said. "I NEDD A PAROL."
(And a patrol is what you will not get, if you keep arranging for a parol instead.)
The run into the frost their pass working fastly.
(It utterly makes sense, how train passes are working quickly so that they can jump into the frost...Oh wait! Remember the pool in StarClan that was mentioned in the Alliances? The one that could save the sanity of whoever jumped into it? Maybe the pool froze over. Instead of calling it ice, insightful xdarkrosesx called it frost! Wouldn't that work? My dear train passes, you pieces of non-living paper actually have more sense than Bluestar, seeing as you chose to rescue your sanity unlike her! Congratulations!)
She wood kill HolyLeaf and TigerSar for what thed don!
(Killing her aunt! How saintly!)
She batlecried using his nose to tar down the evill cats.
(I'm... I'm confused. Who's nose could that be, so powerful and filled with tar? I do hope it's not Hollyleaf! I want her to be a female! Noooooo! [falls to the ground in a heap and starts sobbing] Sheesh. What did I do? [slaps myself] Ah, better. [feels the pain of the slap] Wait, noooo, this is not a dream! Noooooo! [sniffles] I am going mad! No!)
Her heat burneded!
(I shall assume the more uncommon but less cringe-worthy explanation that her heart was burning from the fire that happened a while ago, and not the probably-correct but mushy explanation of how she missed her father and her mate (grandfather). And I shall not take the explanation that her heart- wait. It's spelled as heat! What? Is this a pun or what?
Whatever this means, a new word for the occasional trollfic-writer reading this: burneded. Life (or the lack of it) lesson: If you wanna kill brain cells, you gotta learn from the master. Or mistress, in this case.)
Sune they had funded them.
(Ha! With what? Strands of her purple fur?)
They were hidnig bwhind a bolder.
(How bold of them. [espies xdarkrosesx's spelling of 'boulder'] Ooh, this is even better.)
"HAHAHAH" LAUGHED HOLylesf putting er claw on FiresTarS thort. "IVE GOT YOU KNOW!"
("I've got you, you know! I found a new body part of your mate and put my paw on it, claiming it for mine, even though I love the Warrior Code and am his grandaughter!)
StarGleam gasped. "noooooo Fireheat!" she scemmed "FalmePawgo!" she said.
(Yes, FalmePawgo, StarGleam's jealous of the popularity Pokemongo is getting, and wants to create another game called FalmePawgo! The motto will not be 'Gotta catch them all!' It will be 'Gotta lose them all!' Obviously it is referring to the slowly-decreasing IQ points that are left in our brains after reading this absurd stuff.)
Flamepaw hurled at HolyLeaf. Hollyleaf laked
(Another lake pun. Original much?)
at her in suprise. "What how could they have fallowd me."
(They're smarter than you, dear. [consoling voice] Oh wait, what am I talking about, everyone's smarter than you!)
She dogged at Flamepaw her blue eys fallshig.
(She's using the move Firestar offered to teach her that day! "I'll teach you how to dog." So smart of the Stargleam-Sue!) (Oh, and apparently blue eyes can fall...?)
"NO FLAMEPAW" whaled
(Xdarkrosesx, I know you like lake puns, but uh, a whale in a lake is a little bit too much, ya?)
LakePaw seing her sisters about too die.
(Yesh!)
"I LOVE YOU FALMEPAW." She yowled jumping herself in front of HOlyLeaf.
(No, eww, is this incest or just sibling care and concern? I do hope the latter!)
HollyLaffs paw cutt into hir throt blood came out LakePaw felt down.
(This is the best death scene I've ever read! So diverse! It even includes parts about laughs (laffs) and fabric (the felt)!)
"NOOOO!1!11" StarPaw screamed.
(Great! You can scream numbers! Like "NOOOOOO! One! Eleven". Yup, something like that.)
"FLAMEAPWWW!" She ran for HoltLeaf but it wass no us. LakPaw was dyeing. "I lofe you StarGleam." She wisperd before er blue I's cosed.
(Oh no, my spectacles is suffering from low self-esteem (and as a result depression) because it can't help its owner to read this sentence! )
"NO WAKE UP LAKEPOOL" shoited
([Stifles a snort of laughter])
Stargleam-she was so sad and depersed she was cyring!
(Good.)
"hahaha" laughed HollyLeaf evil. "u just dunt gedot d o you Im one of teh Tree!
(We get it, we get it, you're a tree. That's gotta be really evil.)
I have pows beyound ur emaginating!"
(I bet you don't have powers. Which actually also means that you have more powers than grammar skills.)
nd then…. She turned in…. A BARE!
(Oh dear, Hollyleaf's a flasher.)
"Gasped" gasped everyone. It was a bare!
(I would be shocked if a main character and the aunt of our Mary-Sue was a flasher, to be honest.)
"IM A SHAPSHITTER!" siad Hollylea joyly.
(Ah! I see! You shit out your 'shape', so then you can, um, flash yourself...But I think you forgot to add the part about shitting out your own intelligence, if you had any in the first place.)
"stargleam." Said FalmePaw cryingly.
("stargleam." Said FalmePaw cryingly. "You have such a crappy name it brings onions to my eyes.")
"I nedd to go back 2 the damp. I goat bury laekpaw. Ive neverbeen out of camp before how do you get back!"
(This is totally possible. She is out of the camp right now.)
"U ju wak to te the est. said StarPaw."
(You just walk to the east, and you end up in Neverland, where I will never see you again! I can totally trick her with that! How plausible.)
Thaks said FlamePaw crying she piced up the LakePaw and putter
(Putter. [Amused look] New word, people! Meaning: undefined [wink])
on her back and run.
"nut so fast!" said Holyleaf!
(Nut so fast! You know you're nuts, and since I'm nuts too, we can hang out like the nutty nuts we are!)
"Your not gunna get away that easly!" Wit a rar like an volcano erection she jumped at StarGlaem!
(I wasn't...expecting that...[eyes stray over to the offensive word])
Everone! Gasped!
(Everone! If there is a person by this name, you better gasp now!)
"NOOOO." Yowled STarGleam as sumething lung and sarp pluned into her bk. "YOU CANT GET ME THAT EASLY."
(A lung found out that StarGleam needed three lungs and wormed into her back.)
YOU CANT GET ME THAT EASLY."
Everyone jumped at the HoBare!
(New word. You can see what that is.)
The bare rared in pane!
(Oh my life! It's so well-described.)
Starepaw sent her teeth into its for. It rared.
(It's rare, I assume.)
"oak oka" HolyLeafthe bare said. "i no know Your not guna be bettin that esliay." Suddenly she was a cat1 then her body dropped her eyes went drka she was on the grund. Suddly ther wass howl from the other side of the froste. It was LaFlamePaw!
(Nah, LaFlamePaw is just hanging out at the Eiffel Tower with some cool French chaps that she made friends with because of her new, incredibly-extravagant French name.)
"LAKEPAW UR BACK!" SHE SAD
(She's sad.)
WHT SAID SPARGLAME.
(I think she meant 'Wth'.)
Thenshe locked.
(Surprised that she still has a lock?)
It was LakePool! She was runnin tord the forest starGleam was so appy.
(New word, the 'appy'.)
Then she sawyer eyes.
(Tom Sawyer makes a random appearance.)
THEY WERE OLLYLEAFS!
(She dug out Hollyleaf's eyes? Eww!)
the next chatter wil coke soon!
(Apparently when you chatter you must drink coke. Is that true? I don't know...)
AND STUP FLAMMING YOU HAETRS. YOU JUST DONT BELVE IN GOOD.
(We just don't believe that you're good? Did I read that? Omai, are you flaming yourself, and putting [misspelled] words into our mouths? That's really good of you!)
There! We are done for this chapter. You will notice that in front I have a long-winded, ranting personality while at the back it's more of an impatient and sassy tone. Sorry about that. My mood changes every day, and I wrote this over several days. [How lazy of me! XD]
Lessons to learn. (narrows eyes as I study today's ever-so-short lesson notes)
1) Starpaw saved everyone in a fire, but that was excluded out like the Pokemon episode with the strobe lights. Both probably caused seizures among the audience (at least I know that's true about the Pokemon episode, not to criticise Pokemon [it's good])
2) Lakepool dug out Hollyleaf's eyes. Apparently those are cats' form of contact lenses. Ouchie.
3) Blue eyes can fall. That explains why Lakepool had to dig out Hollyleaf's eyes, because they were green and couldn't fall out like the blue ones. Still, what's so bad about the blue ones?
4) When you chatter, you must. drink. coke. Even though the chances of cats finding coke in the forest is lower than the chances of Firestar inviting Tigerstar over to StarClan for a sleepover.
5) New words, the 'HoBare', the 'appy', the 'burneded', and the 'putter'. All so well-known.
6 [Omai yes there's a 6th!]) Hollyleaf's a tree that works part-time as a flasher, unknown kitty funded unknown kitty with strands of Stargleam's unusually-coloured fur, there's a new interesting game called FalmePawgo, and in conclusion? This story sucks.
Thank you for your attention. I (or my dead corpse) will see you next time. This has been an Echoshadow Production. I am Echoshadow, and I hope you have a nice day. (my 'news show anchor' act disappears) Alright, cyaaaaaa~
