Here it is, another update!

Disclaimer - Not mine, don't sue.


Chapter 11

How can my heart be filled with doubts of you

When you can fill me with a love that's true

But I can't help but sigh,

And sometimes wonder why

What can I do I want to see you more and more each day

I really need you, you're my only way

-One Together by Fleetwood Mac

1 hour 16 minutes later...

Derek tapped, then shook Meredith's shoulder, watching her head roll to the side and hang limply before finally waking up.

"Meredith" He quietly told her as she opened her eyes, although he wasn't why he was whispering since they were the only two occupying the waiting room, "Addison is out of surgery, I'm going to the ICU and wait with her while she wakes up."

Meredith nodded approval to his statement. "Have you heard any more about Finn?" She asked him despite her being quite sure that he wouldn't have simply let her sleep through any important updates. Derek shook his head in response with an air of guilt as though he was in some way responsible for her lack of information on the subject. It had been only a minute or two since Alex Karev had sighed his way into the lonely room so full of angst and hope to let him know that Addison was being moved to the ICU for recovery after a very successful surgery. Great epiphanies usually came to Derek Shepherd in the hospital, so it didn't surprise him in the least when one occurred tonight. A lot of sighing goes on in this hospital. An epiphany or not, the thought was one which Derek inwardly chastised himself for not realizing such an easy observation prior to the night's events. In any case, he turned and headed in the direction of his destination.

An eerie stillness was settled about the typically bustling and hurried hallways. the irony, of course, was that more drama had unfolded in one evening than had in the past month (to be generous in the estimate). Knowing full and well the Chief's obsession with scheduling, Derek was certain that the nest topic of discussion between the two was likely to be how utterly disastrous the night had become, even with all the thoughtful planning.

Fingering the small ring in his pocket, Derek felt his stomach tighten and get nervous as he neared the ICU's recovery unit. Silence had always unsettled his stomach and adding in such a powerful emotion as fear and the know that had formed was nearly unbearable.

3 more steps...

What would she look like? Could he handle it?

2 more steps...

What if they hadn't caught everything? How long would it take her to wake up?

1 more step...

What if she was in pain? How long would it take her to recover?

The blinds that hung inside the glass that separated her room from the nurses' deck, appropriately placed within full view of the rooms containing the most volatile of patients, were closed and the door was open. Derek was quick to note that the room to the left was none other than that of Denny Duquette. A feeling hung around the now-empty room, a feeling of tears and disappointment. He was sure, despite not knowing the deceased patient, that the story that preceded that hung-over spirit was worth hearing. Just, not now. Now there were other things to focus on.

The beep from inside the room Derek couldn't seem to enter was nothing alarming. Steady, strong and textbook. it provided at least some relief on the conscious level, but for some reason he was still unable to get his feet to move to the place where his heart already was; Eager, yet untrusting. At last, Derek fought off his emotions and stepped inside.

Richard sat with his back to him, one fist propping up his lethargic head and the other holding Addison's hand; A hand that was noticeably lacking its certain usual ornament. Looking beyond the Chief, Derek turning his gaze to his wife, whose deep slumber looked far more restful and convincing that Meredith's. She was no longer hooked up to oxygen, with the exception of the tube resting between her nose and upper lip. It came as another reassuring sign that she was doing well. The hand Richard clasped was bandaged and his mind wandered back to the gash he had seen hours earlier as he had stood dumbfounded and bewildered in the trauma room. Despite having sheets on top of her, it was obvious that there were many bandages around her legs. Many wires and tubes crept from under the sheets and her hand visibly sported an IV. Unlike earlier in the evening, no red hair spilled onto the pillow. This time, her head was had been expertly dressed to cover the nasty wound he had also seen earlier in the evening.

The monitor continued in its rhythmic beep, the IV in its steady drip, and a clock on the wall's reliable second hand ticked and tocked, yet again proving that time was passing. After a few seconds, Richard noticed his presence and stood slowly, walking towards the man who was standing frozen in both time and place.

"She's lucky, Derek," He said, voice full of fatherly confidence and reassurance, "It's your turn. Make up for whatever you've done. Be there for her."

Derek responded only with his teary eyes, and getting the picture, the Chief left shutting the door behind himself. He slowly made his was to her side and the now unoccupied seat. Looking at her fragile face and gripping her cold hand, he thought about how she had been trying despite never getting anything in return. yes, she was torn and he was the one to blame. All he could think about was how lucky he was to get another chance to make it up to her, and maybe, just maybe, put the pieces back together, too.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the ring and slipped it on her finger, allowing himself to drop his head and sigh along with the rest of the hospital.


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