Walls Will Crumble

Chapter 11

March 2007

The moment Jason walked into the Penthouse Spinelli could tell he was in a bad mood.

"Is there something troubling you, Stone Cold?"

Jason jerked off his jacket and put away his gun. His face was a mask of tension. He came over and sat down in a chair, while Spinelli was on the couch with his laptop on the coffee table.

Throwing one hand up, Jason said "Its stupid. Carly is ticked at me just because I had a conversation with another woman."

"Jealousy rears its ugly head. Can you blame the Valkryie for wanting to place a claim on her territory? After all she has stood faithfully by your side for all these years never knowing if her the love you two share would blossom into a romance once more. Now that you are renewing your love perhaps she is feeling especially vulnerable."

Jason glared at Spinelli. "Carly has nothing to be insecure about but she makes up stuff to cause drama."

"The Jackal is no expert in love but it seems to me your paramour is crying out for reassurances that she is the one you desire most."

Jason rubbed his head and let out a long breath. "What she's asking for is unrealistic. I need to be able to talk to whoever I want and she needs to trust me."

"Trust is a fragile thing."

"Carly should know by now that she can trust me."

"As I recall the story you told me about young Mr. Sir's birth the Valkryie trusted you with her most precious offspring, going so far as to give him your last name and do all she could to insure you would be his parental figure. That seems like a deep trust to me. If its fractured now there must be something very serious behind her concerns."

"When Carly gets scared she lashes out and she runs over people and things. It tears apart her whole life."

"So does that mean that there is a chance this romantic reunion will be cut short prematurely?"

"No matter how mad she gets at me this time I will make things right again. There's no other option for me. I won't just give up on her. I want her to end up with me every day...I want her to be my wife and us to raise the boys as a family and even have another child because that's what Carly wants. For me, I only care that the boys are happy and healthy. Carly pregnant...that's one of the most terrifying things I have ever faced. But I know she wants a child with me. I want her happy. I don't want her freaking out about anything, least of all a woman that is just my friend."

"Is this woman so important as to risk causing strife with The Valkryie?"

"The point is that Carly needs to trust me."

"Where love is concerned the heart is not always rational."

"Yeah, tell me about it. Carly is not rational at all when it comes to other women coming around me."

"It must be spectacular to be so cherished."

After a moment Jason gave Spinelli a small smile before Jason got up and walked upstairs.

XXXXXXXXXX

Jason called Carly and asked her to come to his apartment that night. He didn't want her spending even one more night stressed out over this. Nothing good could come of anger and fear festering in her.

Since the boys were at her place that night Jason felt it wouldn't be good to talk there. Michael and Morgan still didn't know that Jason and Carly had moved beyond friendship again. He didn't want them hearing about it this way. Fighting last night had been bad enough and he hoped that the kids didn't hear any of that because it would only leave them confused.

Carly knocked on Jason's door. He jogged down the stairs and opened the door. "You could have used your key."

She gave him a narrowed eyed look and walked inside.

Shaking his head at all the tension in the room, he closed the door and asked "Can we talk about this without screaming?"

"I don't want to fight with you."

"Okay, good, cause I don't want to fight either so is that a yes, Carly? No screaming?" He walked over and placed his hands on her arms, rubbing them soothing.

"Jase," she dragged out his name "I know you think I'm making something out of nothing and I'm throwing us away over nothing but-"

He cupped her chin. "Hey, no matter what we're staying together this time. Fighting does not change that."

"You hate fighting. You hate drama. You don't want to be part of a relationship filled with that."

"You're right but I want to be with you, whatever that means."

She stared in his eyes for a long moment. "I need to be first in your life."

"You've always been first. Even when I didn't want you to be or admit it, you were first. You know that."

"I need everyone to know that I'm first."

"Everyone already does know that."

"Liz doesn't! You think you know her but the things she says when you're not around...she calls me a bitch but she's not a saint, Jason. And I can't stand her thinking that you just put up with me rather than love me."

"Who cares what she thinks? You can't control what other people think."

"She thinks it because you let her think it!"

"She knows how important you are to me. Everyone who knows me knows that. And if she said anything different, Carly, it was just to get to you. And, look, it worked. I won't put up with anyone showing you disrespect but you need to trust me to decide who stays in my life. There are times I will run into women from my past but they are my past. You have a past too. Do you think its easy for me knowing you and Sonny fall into bed together when life gets stressful? Its not. But when I decided to be with you last month I decided to trust you and you have to trust me too." He caressed her face. "Will you trust me? All you need to remember is our future is together and I will not let go of that plan for anything, not this time."

She hugged him. "You know I can't help but get crazy when other women come sniffing around you. I hate it! Always have and always will."

He scooped her off her feet. "You will never have anything to worry about, I promise you."

They shared a kiss before he carried her upstairs to bed.

XXXXXXXXXX

Laying in bed, naked and curled up together, Carly ran her hand along Jason's abs. "You know you don't have to prove anything to me."

"Yeah, I do," he said, his voice light and happy.

She looked up at him. "I'm serious. I don't want to make a baby just as a way to end an arguement, Jase." This time he hadn't used a condom when they had sex.

His eyes danced with amusement. "But you do wanna make a baby, right?"

"Well, yeah," she said, a small smile curving her lips "but that's not the point I'm making right now. I don't wanna feel like our kid came along because you wanted to smooth things over. Like you bribed me or something."

"You think too much," he teased her. "Stop over thinking, please."

She smiled at him. "You just think that crazy, hot, amazing sex can make me forget I was mad at you and I'll get visions of babies dancing in my head so I won't be able to think about anything else."

"I thought we solved all that?"

"I still don't want her around. That will never change."

"Believe me I won't be calling Liz and I know where to draw the line if she calls me. Just trust me to handle things they way they need to be handled. You trust me, right?"

"I'll always trust you."

He pulled her up and gave her a tender kiss. Stroking her hair away from her face he said "I want a future with you...a family with you...we don't need to rush anything. Lets just take it as it comes and enjoy it. If we make a baby then we do and if not then that's okay. We have two healthy boys and we have each other. No matter what, I know we can be happy, if we let ourselves be."

Looking deep into his eyes she said "I feel like I'm spinning around really fast lately. Like I'm getting everything I have wanted for so long but its overwhelming. And when I stop spinning-"

"I'll catch you," he said and then started to kiss her, laying her down on the bed again.

Jason knew Carly had a hard time trusting in happiness but now that they were dating again he wasn't about to let her talk herself out of believing they could make it. Let her allow fear to overrun her.

He had let fear rule his life too long. All that led to was regrets. And that was something Jason didn't want to let into their lives anymore. From now on he wanted them to let themselves be together and make each other stronger, happier, and build a lifetime of memories with their kids.

Life was too short to live it any other way.