"Thank you again, Sarek," Dr. Tarkington said, clearly fighting to avoid shaking his hand on instinct. "These magnetic constrictor designs are a game changer."
He was unsure to which game she was referring, but he nodded and simply replied, "You are welcome."
"So, I'll reach out to the people at the Gol Research Institute tomorrow and hopefully we can get a joint project going. Thanks for your advice on getting the ball rolling with that too. I don't see why we couldn't reduce the size of the current antimatter reactor by at least forty percent. Do you realize what this means? We could be looking at a future of affordable, warp capable private vehicles. It just boggles the mind."
Sarek had noticed Helene Tarkington had a habit of speaking more quickly when she was excited, which seemed to happen whenever she spoke of matter/anti-matter reactors. Due to his increasingly demanding schedule and health issues, he'd been forced to postpone touring her laboratory until that Thursday afternoon.
"I wish you could stay longer, but I understand you're busy," Dr. Tarkington said, following him out of the building and walking with him to the street.
Sarek would have preferred to stay and take an extended tour of her laboratory as well — many of the advancements she'd made in the past five years were far beyond anything even the Vulcan Science Academy had produced — but he was due to meet with Dr. Veilk at the Starfleet Central Hospital in precisely one hour. Given Dr. Tarkington's laboratory was located in Amanda's district of Oakland and traffic patterns on Earth were nearly impossible to predict with a great degree of accuracy, he preferred to give himself ample time to reach his destination.
"Do not hesitate to contact me, should you have any additional questions or require assistance with coordinating with Vulcan agencies," Sarek remarked, nodding to her as the consular vehicle pulled up to the curb.
"Sure, I have your info," she said, grinning. "What is it your people say? Live long and prosper?"
Sarek nodded and raised his hand in the ta'al and replied, "Live long and prosper indeed, Dr. Tarkington."
As the vehicle pulled back into traffic, Sarek attempted to focus on his upcoming appointment. Dr. Velik had examined him at the hospital in Oakland 11 days earlier, and after reviewing his symptoms and medical records, diagnosed him with damage to one or more of his heart valves that had likely occurred following a bacterial infection he'd had at the age of 22.
Though he'd undergone a medical examination prior to arriving on Earth, Dr. Velik had explained that standard examination protocols would not have detected minor heart damage and that Sarek's condition likely could have gone undetected for many more years, had it not been for his body's severe reaction to the hornet venom. Dr. Velik theorized the combination of sudden exertion from attempting to flee the attack and the vasoconstriction caused by his body's response to the hornet venom had induced sudden cardiac arrest.
Sarek glanced out the window and gently fingered the small silicone monitor adhered to the lower left side of his abdomen. To make a better assessment of the damage, Dr. Velik had prescribed him benjisidrine, given him the heart monitor, and instructed him to go about his daily activities while Dr. Velik periodically monitored the readings from his office in San Francisco. Now Sarek was en route to receive the results.
Sarek had done considerable research about his condition during the past 11 days. It would be illogical to worry, but equally illogical to remain uninformed about a serious health issue. There was a possibility he would require immediate and very hazardous surgery to replace the defective valves, but there was also the possibility his condition could be managed with minor changes to his lifestyle and medication as necessary. It simply depended upon the results he would receive shortly.
Tavik turned the car left onto a broad thoroughfare and Sarek quickly recognized they were near Amanda's school. Though his heart had occupied his thoughts during the past few days, Amanda had completely dominated them. She had stayed with him at the hospital until Dr. Velik arrived, at which point he had insisted she return home. He had also been unable to spend the previous Sunday with her, as per their informal arrangement, due to his duties at the consulate.
He missed her. It was irrational to long for a female who was not his mate, a human female, no less, but the longer he spent apart from her, the more he desired her company. Amanda Grayson was an exceptional person, but the idea of developing a bond with a human woman was highly unorthodox.
Though still rare, interspecies marriages became more common with each passing decade. In his youth, one of his father's aides had married a Rigelian woman he had met during his posting to Rigel V, and they had invited Sarek's family to the wedding. Skon had declined to attend, citing a scheduling conflict with his diplomatic duties, but the family had sent an appropriate gift.
Aside from that one instance during his childhood, Sarek had never given much consideration to the complexities of interspecies matrimony. He found himself thinking of it more often in recent days.
How easily could Vulcans reproduce with members of other species? The data was too sparse to be meaningful. Was it possible for Vulcans to form consequential mating bonds with humans? He had been able to calm her on the Ferris wheel and sense her emotions through their finger embrace, but that was markedly different from sharing a telepathic mating bond. Without that, how could a female of another species help a Vulcan male adequately manage pon farr? He was uncertain. Amanda evidently harbored some affection for him, but to what degree? What were her opinions on interspecies marriage? He did not know. What were his? Undetermined.
One thing he was certain of, however, was that Vulcans lived longer than of any other Federation member species, on average. He had done copious research the night before.
The average human lived approximately 109.4 years, though modern medical advances had allowed many humans to live well beyond that. Currently the longest lived human was still alive and had reached the age of 130.1 years, but physiologically, scientists believed that they were nearing the upper limit of possibility for extending human life in a physiological sense. Human DNA was simply too unstable and prone to error, and even with enormous medical intervention and organ replacement, there were no viable options for preserving the biological integrity of the human mind beyond approximately 140 years.
It had led to centuries of debate among humans about what life truly was, as technology advanced and allowed biologically sentient species to upload their consciousness into computers. It was strange how humans clung to the notion that a longer life was directly proportional to a better life. A long and prosperous life was an admirable achievement for any sentient species, but an infinite life was no life at all. While many Vulcans elected to preserve their katras, that was not the same thing as continuing a sentient existence.
Though artificially preserving the mind via computers was a fascinating concept in ethics and philosophy, it wasn't really the focus of his predicament. Barring some profound breakthrough in medical technology or creative interpretation of life through artificial means, humans currently only lived an average of 109.4 years, Vulcans, 201.8 years, measured in Federation Standard years. By the Federation calendar, Sarek was 61.8 years of age and Amanda was approximately 25. While that made her the equivalent of a 46.1 year-old Vulcan female — a suitable marriageable and reproductive age — they would still live along different trajectories. Assuming they both lived an average lifespan, Sarek would outlive Amanda by approximately 50 years. It was a simple fact of biology.
Then again, should he receive a poor prognosis from Dr. Velik, Amanda could well outlive him. Anxiety pooled in his stomach and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath to center himself. He reopened his eyes when the vehicle slowed and noting that Tavik had stopped for several people to cross the street, he looked to his right and observed they were directly in front of Amanda's school. Not only that, but Amanda was waiting at the same shuttle stop where she had sheltered him from the rain with her umbrella.
Tavik engaged the accelerator and they started to jump forward, but Sarek asked him to stop. He engaged the window release and leaned over to speak with her. Amanda was staring at something in the distance and still unaware of his presence, so he called to her. "Amanda?"
Her head snapped forward and her eyes focused on him, and in the following seconds, her face contorted with obvious exuberance. "Sarek? What are you doing here?"
"I am en route to San Francisco from Dr. Tarkington's laboratory. Do you require transportation home?"
Her mouth hung open. She was clearly deliberating his offer, but she quickly smiled and asked, "Are you sure? Do you have time? I don't want to be any trouble."
"Your home is on the way to my destination. It would be no inconvenience."
"Ok then," she agreed, smiling warmly.
She walked toward the car, but he exited and held the door for her. "This was really nice of you, thank you. And thank you, Tavik."
"It is my duty," Tavik responded.
"To drive him, maybe," she said, pointing to Sarek with her thumb. "But not me. So thank you."
"You are welcome, Miss Grayson," Tavik replied.
"So how have you been?" she asked, turning to Sarek. "I haven't talked to you much since the hospital. I've been worried."
Worry was illogical, but Amanda was not a logical creature. Tavik initiated the privacy divider, for which Sarek was grateful.
"So have you heard back from your doctor about your condition?" she pressed.
"I have not," he answered honestly. "Yet I am currently alive."
He considered telling her of his pending appointment with Dr. Velik, but it would be indelicate to speak of such things to a woman who was not his mate and would likely cause her additional worry. She had cried on his behalf at the hospital. He reasoned that telling her would only upset her further, so he decided to employ a tactic she frequently used and alter the course of their conversation.
"I met with Dr. Tarkington earlier," he said, making eye contact with her.
"Oh right! You'd said that! How is she doing? How did it go?"
"She is receptive to the idea of working with Vulcan scientists. I am grateful for your introduction."
"I met her practically the same time you did," she reminded him. "I think pretty much all the credit for your success there belongs to you. Anyway, it seems like you're staying busy."
"Yes. I regret I was unable to meet with you this Sunday past."
"It's ok," she shrugged. "I can't expect to see you every weekend. And I got some much needed and belated spring cleaning done and tinkered around with a graduate school application, so it wasn't a total loss."
"You intend to continue with your education?" he asked.
"I don't know," she sighed. "If this Andorian teacher exchange program doesn't come through, I'd like to do something to keep improving myself. A master's degree doesn't sound like the worst idea, though I still have no idea when I'll find the time."
The thought of Amanda leaving for Andoria troubled him, and while he endeavored to suppress that unpleasant emotion, he turned his mind to he subject of how to proceed with Amanda Grayson. He had no interest in pursuing a woman he ultimately would not or could not bond with, so perhaps it would be sensible to end his contact with her.
Yet Amanda had proven herself to be not only a valuable ally and advisor in human affairs, but also a genuine friend. Their partnership had endured naturally thus far, so how had the realization that he cared for her altered the paradigm of their friendship? In truth, it hadn't. Perhaps things could continue as they always had, and he would simply have to find a way to suppress his affection.
"I don't suppose you're free this coming Sunday?" she asked, a pink color rising in her cheeks.
"I believe I am," he responded, sensing she was seeking to engage him in some activity.
"Well… do you want to do something?"
He noted the vehicle had turned into her neighborhood. "What did you have in mind?"
"I picked the last thing we did, remember? And I doubt you really enjoyed Friday the 13th anyway, so maybe you could decide this time. If you want."
"We had scheduled a tour of Alameda Beach before our diversion to the Around the World Festival," he suggested. "Perhaps we should make a second attempt."
"The beach sounds lovely," she said, flashing him a smile. "Should I meet you there at our usual time? 1000 hours?"
"That will be acceptable."
The car came to a stop in front of her home. "Then I'll see you on Sunday. And you will tell me what the doctor says, if it's anything serious?" she insisted, scowling as she opened the door.
He cocked his head and stared at her.
"What, you thought I didn't notice you changed the subject earlier?"
"I shall inform you if I have reason to believe my death is imminent," he replied.
Her scowl deepened and she sighed and rolled her eyes. "That's all I ask."
He was glad they had reached a mutual arrangement on the subject of information about his health. She shut the rear door and knocked on the front passenger window to wave farewell to Tavik, who seemed puzzled by her excessive friendliness. Sarek watched her proceed up the sidewalk to her front door, feeling conflicted about their plans to meet on Sunday.
It troubled him that he longed to be in her presence. Their initial meetings had been much like any other voluntary diplomatic task — he had gone partly out of mild curiosity, but mainly because he had believed it prudent. Nothing more.
No matter how much he meditated or attempted to subdue his emotions, nothing would alter the fact that he now met with Amanda because he very much wanted to.
Amanda's eyes scanned the PADD, and with each correct answer, her eyebrows rose a little higher. She turned to look at Richard. "You got every single one right on your first try."
He shrugged, offering a smug smile. She lifted her hand to give him a high five, which he readily returned. "Math isn't so bad."
"I don't know what clicked for you, but this is really good work, Richard. Really good. I'm so proud of you. I told you if you just stuck with it, you'd get it eventually."
"Mr. Sarek helped me," he confessed.
"Sarek? My Vulcan friend?"
"Yeah, when he was over here that day, he showed me some tricks or something. Made it make more sense."
"Can you show me what he showed you?"
"I don't know," Richard grumbled. "It's kind of like thinking about the numbers like they're letters and making a story, but it's not a story, you know?"
"He taught you to turn numbers into a story?"
"No, I mean, kinda, I don't know," he groaned. "You said if I got this done I could go play basketball."
Amanda chuckled and shook her head. "Who am I to stand in the way of the almighty basketball hoop looming at the end of the driveway? I think your dad should be home any minute anyway."
He bolted out the front door without another word, leaving Amanda to try and sort out what Richard had just told her. Sarek had spent a little time with Richard several weeks ago while she was getting ready, and unless he was secretly tutoring him on the side, he'd somehow managed to transform a struggling student into a math whiz in about 20 minutes. It didn't make sense.
She scratched her head and leaned back in her chair. Richard seemed to be coming by less and less lately, but she'd had so much going on with the end of the school term and thinking about Sarek that she hadn't really thought about it until now. Whenever Henry did drop Richard off, his behavior toward his son had seemed different: almost affectionate. Henry had mentioned Richard seemed more interested in computers the other day, so maybe they'd found something to bond over. It was about time.
She decided to go watch Richard play and work on her personal statement for her graduate school application on the front porch, but the moment she sat down, she saw Millie coming up the street with a bottle of wine in her hands.
"Is that for me?" she teased.
"For us," Millie grinned, holding it up. "It's Saturday evening and the world is our oyster!"
Amanda was about to tell her she was babysitting, but as if on cue, Henry Daystrom's car appeared at the end of the street. Amanda said her goodbyes to Richard and went inside with Millie.
"What's the occasion?" she asked, getting two wine glasses down from the cupboard.
"Ok, first of all, have you heard back about this Andorian Educator Exchange?" Millie asked.
"No, why?"
"I wanted to let you get any good news out of the way first," Millie grinned. "Because mine is huge!"
"Are you going to make me guess or are you going to tell me?"
"I think Pete is going to ask me to marry him," Millie said, faking a swoon as she opened the bottle.
"What? How do you know?" Amanda gasped. Her friend had been hoping her boyfriend would pop the question for years, but a ring and a proposal had been elusive thus far.
"So I got home from the gym this afternoon and Pete was in the shower and his PADD kept going off so I put it on silent and that's when I saw the notification from the jeweler for a final payment on a ring."
Amanda's jaw dropped open and they both hugged and squealed. "I'm so happy for you!" Amanda cried. "How do you think he'll do it?"
"Oh, this is the best part," Millie said, clapping her hands together. "We have tickets for the Sunday after next to a Giants and Dodgers game. Eeeeek!"
Amanda scoffed. "You hate baseball."
"Yes, I do," Millie agreed. "But our first date was a Giants and Dodgers game four years ago."
"Ok, never mind, that's romantic," Amanda laughed, pouring herself a glass of wine and taking a sip.
"I know. Besides, I told him if he ever proposed, I wanted it to be special and in public and I wanted to have my friends there. And guess what? He has two extra tickets and told me to invite whoever I wanted. So are you coming, right?"
"The Sunday after next?" she asked, playing with her wine glass and thinking the only time she got to see Sarek was Sundays.
"Yes, clear your calendar."
Amanda couldn't imagine not being there for her friend on the day she got engaged, but she still couldn't deny her minor disappointment that she would miss out on the opportunity to see Sarek. She wasn't a huge fan of baseball either — it was a niche sport that had been brought back from the dead after World War III — but a handful of people still followed it avidly. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"Great," Millie said, taking a long draught of the wine. "Now for that last ticket. I was going to invite Jenny, but I already know she has plans with Aaron and I can't imagine her putting on a ball cap and throwing back a beer anyway, but Pete has this friend Andy that he's been hanging out with at work and I think the two of you would definitely hit it off. Pun intended."
Amanda finished the last of the wine in her glass, poured herself another, and muttered, "I don't know."
"Have you been on a date since you broke things off with Eddie?"
"No, not really." Amanda somehow didn't think that her Sunday afternoons exploring the idiosyncrasies of humanity with a Vulcan diplomat counted. Some of their excursions had been date-like, but she knew there was no way he had ever or would ever think of them that way.
"Amanda, it's been what- two years?"
"Barely a year," Amanda corrected. "We broke up last spring."
"Whatever. You still have pictures of him hanging on your walls," Millie declared, waving her arms dramatically and moving toward the living room. She pointed to a digital photograph of her and Eddie at Big Sur in the same way a lawyer might point to crime scene images in a courtroom. Amanda remembered the day that picture was taken quite well, mostly because of what had happened later that evening. She briefly closed her eyes and smiled sadly as the memories drifted to the surface.
"I could live here," Amanda laughs, watching the brilliant fading sun cast dozens of orange and red hues across the ocean. It is growing chilly, but she doesn't mind.
"I think we'd both need to make a little more money first," Eddie laughs, reaching for her hand. He squeezes. It should send butterflies racing through her stomach, but it doesn't. It's never really been like that with him.
"So I was thinking," Eddie continues. "We've known each other a long time…"
"Yeah," Amanda agrees. All through college and beyond they've been together. They are alike in so many ways – they are both outgoing, tireless optimists, they are both teachers who love kids – and maybe that's the problem.
The hairs on the back of her neck are standing up and she dreads what he's about to ask. She can barely bring herself to look him in the eye, but the occasion demands it somehow. He fumbles in his pocket. His next words are no surprise.
"Amanda, will you marry me?"
She stares at the offering in his hand. It is a beautiful ruby engagement ring, his mother's.
"I'm hoping your protracted silence means you're too stunned to answer?" he grins, his face torn apart by anxiety.
Her eyes dart from the ring to his face; she knows she loves him, but it's not enough. She doesn't want to settle for a homogenous life with a guy she gets along with, she wants someone to challenge her and introduce her to new things. It is far better to tell him the truth now rather than later.
"Eddie, I- I just- wow," she breathes, desperate to find the kindest words for the worst situation. Perhaps there are no good words for breaking another person's heart.
"Wow?" he asks.
"I love you, but- but not like that," she finally stammers.
His forehead scrunches and his hand with the ring begins to shake and she feels the first tears sliding down her face for what she's doing. He deserves to be happy, but so does she. She wonders if there's a cure for this kind of guilt.
"Amanda, you've got to move on," Millie sighed, snapping her fingers and drawing her back into the moment.
"Yeah, I know," Amanda groaned, forcing herself to look at the picture of her and her near-miss fiancé.
She probably kept the picture around because of the guilt, or maybe as a reminder of happier times. She'd gotten a wedding invitation three months ago. Eddie had wasted no time filling the void she'd left in his life and though she wanted to be happy for him, she worried he was rushing into things with this new girl, Susan or Sarah or whatever her name was.
"So let me invite Andy," Millie urged, a mischievous smile spreading across her face.
Amanda frowned. "I'm sure he's probably great, but… it's complicated."
Millie's eyebrows rose nearly to her hairline as she flopped down on Amanda's loveseat. "I like to think I'm smart enough to understand."
Amanda dropped down next to her and took another swig of her wine. "So, there's sort of this guy…"
"Oh?"
Amanda could feel her face growing warm and wasn't sure if it was the wine or embarrassment or both. She hadn't told anyone about her outings with Sarek, and she'd never quite figured out why. She wasn't ashamed, but she also wasn't sure if people would understand.
"Ok, so I doubt he would ever be interested in me like that, but I've kind of developed this little crush on him and it's taken on a life of its own."
"So? Tell him you like him."
"It's not like that, it's…"
"Complicated," Millie finished. "Yeah, you just said that."
"Well, he's definitely very different than any guy I've ever dated. I don't really know how to approach it."
"I don't know what to do with this version of Amanda," Millie teased, waving her hand in a circular motion in Amanda's direction. "You're the least shy person I know. You're the person who contacted the Vulcan Consulate to get-" Millie's eyes widened and she uttered a sharp gasp. "Oh my God. It's the Vulcan guy!"
"What?" Amanda sputtered.
"It is! It's him! Your face is turning beet red! Oh my God! I thought something was up when you brought him to the culture fair, but whoa! This is exciting! Tell me about him."
"There's nothing to tell," Amanda moaned, draining the last of her wine and feeling very light headed all of a sudden.
"Your face tells a different story. Spill it!"
"Well, he works at the Vulcan consulate, he was an astrophysicist-"
"Wait, didn't he say he was like 60 years old or something?" Millie interrupted.
"Vulcans live much longer than humans," Amanda countered.
"Oh, so when you're 80 he'll practically still be a teenager?"
"They don't live that much longer," she sneered, rolling her eyes.
"How long do they live?"
"I don't know?" Amanda admitted. "About twice as long as humans, I think?"
Millie suddenly cackled. "I wonder what it's like having sex with a Vulcan. Like, is that even possible? What is logical sex like? Do they have the same, you know… stuff?"
"I am not having this conversation with you," Amanda huffed, starting to feel uncharacteristically mortified. The truth was, she didn't know. Almost everything she knew about Vulcans she'd learned from Sarek, and appropriately enough, the topic of sex had never managed to come up during their long chats about music and dining customs.
"I have never seen you turn this shade of red," Millie laughed. "You are completely smitten with him."
"Well, now you see how awkward and complicated it is," Amanda whined, slumping against the back of the loveseat. "All the unwritten rules of dating don't apply to this guy."
"It's probably not as complicated as you think," Millie argued. "I tell you what; bring him to the baseball game."
"I don't think he's a baseball kind of person," Amanda replied.
"Neither am I, but I'm going."
"You're going because you're getting engaged," Amanda retorted.
"If he likes you, he'll come," Millie said knowingly. "I don't care what species he is, if he likes you, he'll make time for you."
Something in the way her friend's words came out gave Amanda pause. Their arrangement of exchanging lessons plans for social instruction had expired a long time ago, but she and Sarek still found excuses to spend time together. She'd assumed it was because he was naturally curious, but could it be because he actually wanted to be around her? For the first time, she started to wonder if Sarek might actually return her feelings, but then quickly decided it was ludicrous.
They were just friends and it was never a good idea to read too much into things. As if Vulcans could be easily read anyway.
"Invite him," Millie begged, playfully bumping into Amanda's shoulder with her own.
"I'll ask," she shrugged, thinking her friend had opened a can of worms.
