Number 5: Seeking Solace
Ling Tong made his way up to the roof top, seeing her sitting with her back against the rim. She glanced up to him, wiping away her stray tears quickly. "Gan Ning is a fucking ass," she said.
"You learn how to deal with him," Ling Tong said, sitting next to her.
"You have?"
"No. But Lu Xun can, so it is possible."
"Lu Xun is some kind of fucking saint," she mumbled.
"So why not go to him? Admittedly, I'm ready to help. But you start the water works and I am gone," he said, arms up in surrender.
"I… I think most of my tears are out."
"Then… maybe I can help."
"Can you at least listen?"
"Shoot."
"Apparently Sun Ce has known about, like, ninety percent of my one night stands! And the ten percent he didn't know about already, he was told about my old room mate. She'd been wanting to get down his pants for so long, it doesn't surprise me that she went and did that. God, I wish I had thrown her out of the mother fucking window when I had the chance!"
"So, she was a bad roommate?"
"Bitch blamed all the drugs and alcohol in the room on me! She was a complete slut! Like, alright, I know I have one night stands! I don't think I'm ready for commitment. I'm just… still looking for me ya know? So how can I go and love somebody? But I still want some action! But her! Good God, her! It was disgusting. I made sure my sheets were not washed at any time with hers. It was just precaution." Sun Shang Xiang ranted, throwing her hands around to add emphasis at certain points. "So, Sun Ce knew all about them. And the look he gave me when he said that! It was like I wasn't his baby sister. Or the one he knew, or something. And I think something in me died with that look. Then Daddy. Thank every sort of deity out there Sun Ce didn't tell Daddy! And I knew it'd be bad if they knew, but that just hurt!"
"You really adored him huh?"
"I grew up with the perfect brother. How can you not adore him? My dad, my brother, they're my heroes. He wants to join the military. But Dad wants him to inherit the company. Either way, he is going to be big ya know?" she said a little sad like. "I think that's when I decided I needed to separate myself from him. To no longer be the little sister trailing after her big brother. I failed at it though. Apparently I don't judge character too well."
"Why?"
"Like half the guys planned on coming back. Booty calls and stuff. Sun Ce and his guys scared them off before they could harass me. The others either tried to steal something of mine, or were spreading gossip. Ego stroking themselves. Like, I thought I'd lost my grandma's necklace one time. Ended up finding it in a drawer in my night stand. Didn't think much of it. Sun Ce basically threatened the guy who took it, planning to give it to his girlfriend, and got it back. Sun Ce snuck into my dorm and put it back."
"They all couldn't have been bad."
"No. They weren't. Most had girlfriends though," she mumbled. "I'm a home wrecker!" she wailed and Ling Tong flinched.
"So, you're upset because you learned your brother was protecting you from your own… stupidity," he said the word tenderly, hoping she wouldn't go off.
"Sort of," she said. "More that… I was trying to get away from that. To stand on my own, and to find myself you know? I'm… not totally happy with who I am," she muttered, not being able to decide how much she wanted to tell him, and it all just kept spilling.
Ling Tong could feel the awkwardness of everything. He still wasn't even sure why she had come to him. Gan Ning had given him an overview of the argument, giving him some knowledge before hand what she was upset over. The only reason he could think she would come to him was because they did almost have a one night stand, so maybe it was or should have been less awkward. Lu Xun or the girls would have been better though, he kept thinking. "I'm pretty sure that most people are usually finding faults with themselves."
"You too?"
"Course. Though Gan Ning might not. I think he might think he's perfect." He grinned over at her, but stopped when she didn't smile back. "Hey, I'm not the most insightful person, but we've all grown up a certain way and… people expect things out of us because of how we've grown, and what we've grown up under."
"That's a little bit deep," she said with a glare.
"And that sometimes is real hard for people. We expect certain things from them, and usually when we don't succeed or respond in the way they expected us to, they sometimes are disappointed. And that leads to things like this, where we question ourselves. Or at least our position in life."
"I'm not here to hear your psychoanalysis on life and society."
"I bet Sun Ce has a lot of pressure. He is your hero, the one to inherit his father's fortune, not to mention everybody looks to him for guidance. You said it yourself when I met him. Everybody willingly follows him. Zhou Yu has to be smart. Da Qiao has to be pretty. Taishi Ci has to be the tough guy. These are our expectations. And everybody questions them." He pushed her gently. "You don't have to feel so alone. I think this is our coming of age journey," he joked.
"You really think… they sometimes feel smothered?"
"I know I do sometimes."
"And what do people expect of you?"
"Perfection," he smirked.
"Get over yourself."
"But," he said, "You can overcome this. Whatever your problems are, you can fix them. You've got the friends to do it. Your friends are so… different that somebody has to know how to help you."
"Meaning you can't?"
"I was leaning more towards Da and Xiao helping you. Women are usually more empathetic and sympathetic towards other women problems. They understand better. Because I don't. I can assure you, most women go over my head."
"I should have got that after our romantic night, huh?" she said, resting her chin on her knees.
"Yes. As suave, handsome, and all around sexy as I am, I just don't understand a lot of the women that throw themselves at my feet."
She raised an eyebrow up at him. "You're contradicting yourself. Do they go over your head or under your feet?"
"You're being a smartass."
"Well, you just bring out the good in me." He chuckled at that, happy she was at least no longer looking ready to break out the tears.
Again, I'm not sure I like this piece. But at the same time I don't know what else to do with it. She took out most of her rage on Gan Ning (now, was that intentional on his part? Probably not... but you get to decide) and was able to more blabber and rant between the two of them. Which, considering who she (rather stupidly) decided to go to for emotional help, was the only way she was going to solve anything in my opinion. So by the end she's just let everything drained out. So this is about the only way I can see it going. The question is if I wrote it decently well enough for it to actually seem that way for ya'll is the question.
Reviews loved and appreciated!
