Chapter 11
Deep Rising
I ran back into the A deck corridor, not really knowing where to look for Rose. Part of me, a very large part, wanted to go back out on the boat deck and get in the lifeboat with everyone else. Part of me wanted to feel that sense of safety and security and relief of being saved from a sinking ship. But I knew if I left, the people I loved most may not survive. And living whilst they were not would be even more unbearable than dying.
I went back onto the grand staircase, looking around at the mass of first class passengers, trying to spot the jumble of red curly hair I knew to be Rose. But before I got the chance to really search the crowd, a hand grabbed my shoulder and spun me around on the spot. Cal was there, but when he saw my face, his face dropped.
"Thought you were Rose." He muttered, letting go.
"Wouldn't the height difference tipped you off." I said angrily. "Did you see which way she went?"
"If I did would I be talking to you?" He said haughtily. He surveyed me from top to bottom as if trying to read my mind. "I was wrong about you, Josephine. Maybe you really are a stupid little girl."
"Excuse me."
"You heard Mr. Andrews, the ship will sink. You had your chance to get to safety, to keep your young life. And yet your still here." He smiled to himself. "Stupid."
"At least I care about people." I said, my voice cracking with emotion. "At least I have people who care about me! You don't have anyone!" I said as if realizing it for the first time. "Nobody' going to care if you drown, except for your banker and I... I feel sorry for you." My words seemed to hit Cal like a ton of bricks and with one blank look he disappeared into the crowd without another word.
Once he was really gone I decided if I couldn't find Rose I'd go and find Oliver and try to get him to help me, or otherwise get him on a lifeboat. At least one of us should survive.
It was hard to believe there had been any accident going down the first few decks, everything seemed so solid and dry. it seemed crazy that something so large and sturdy could be swallowed by the ocean. But once I passed E deck, everything changed.
As I ran down the labyrinth of corridors at G deck, I noticed the sound my boots made as they hit the floor, tiny splashing noises like walking in the rain. Slowly the water became ankle deep, then knee deep. It soaked my stockings, and made my legs feel nimble and numb.
But the all the water disappeared as I climbed toward the stern of the ship. That's were all the people were. Hundreds of third class passengers waiting behind locked gates to be led up to the lifeboats. The men stood at the foot of the gates shaking them and demanding the officers to open them. The women stood behind, some with small children in their arms. I couldn't understand why they weren't being let up to the boat decks. Didn't they deserve as much of a chance to live as the first and second class?
I saw Oliver standing by his mother and brothers towards the back of the crowd, he smiled at me weakly.
"What are you doing here, shouldn't you be in a lifeboat 'er something." He said diffidently, he yawned stretching out his bony arms and placing one behind his little brother's shoulders, ignoring me.
"I came to find you." I said, trying to command his attention as I used to but he didn't seem the least bit interested. "Listen, Oliver" I said in a whisper. "There's been an accident, this ship is sinking! You have to help me find Jack and Rose so we can get out of here before it goes down." Oliver looked at me and laughed.
"This is the Titanic, Jo. It can't sink! Besides," He said firmly, "I'm the oldest boy, I can't leave my family during an emergency just to run off with you."
"Oliver, these people aren't your real family!" I told him. "Remember, you and me we're orphans from 1923! I'm your best friend, you must help me, so we can get out of here before we drown!"
"First of all," He growled, his temper rising rapidly, "I don't have to do anything for you! You think you know everything, but you have no idea what's really going to happen! This could all be just some safety drill and you're going to drag me up on deck on in the middle of the night just to come back here in the morning when it's over. No, I not gonna let you boss me around no more!" He huffed. " I'm staying here." He squeezed his brother's shoulder's looking ferociously adamant. It was the first time I'd noticed his voice had developed an Irish twang to it. This wasn't Oliver anymore.
"Fine, then." I yelled, backing away. "Stay here and drown with your family! See if I care! I've got a family of me own ta find." I mimicked his Irish accent. Tears were forming in my eyes, this would be the last time I'd ever see my best friend. We'd been together since we we're infants and we couldn't even be together in out last moments, a lump caught in my throat. "You know, I might have even loved you at one point, but now you can forget it!" I couldn't contain my sadness anymore, and for the first time, I let myself cry in front of him.
"So Goodbye, Oliver MacAvery." And I turned and walked away.
This time I knew there was no going back. Oliver had made his choice, he would stay with the Rice's and I had made my choice when I left my mother in the lifeboat, I would stand by my real parents and make sure no harm came to them. I had thought before, even if we both died it would be okay because I had Oliver. But now I was more frightened than ever I would die alone in these corridors and I would never reach Jack and Rose.
I let myself submerge into the water again, it was horribly cold and I turned white and trembled all over. I had to keep going, even if I became lost, I had to keep moving so at least I wouldn't freeze to death.
But after a while, I began to lose faith in my sense of direction. All the walls and corridors looked the same, I'd find a staircase or an open door and it would either lead back down into deeper water, or to another blocked passageway. Either way I knew I was doomed.
I sank back against the wall, letting the arctic water creep up the fabric in my dress and soak into my skin all the way up to my shoulders, shivering so violently it looked like I was vibrating. Was this what death felt like? I had no will to lift myself out of the water; soon the biting cold made my whole body go numb and I relaxed against the wall, my eyes closing, maybe even forever.
"Josephine, No! Wake up! Get up! Please!" My eyes fluttered open and there was Oliver, his gorgeous brown eyes staring into my own with so much panic.
"Oliver." I spoke softly, my voice almost gone. He loped his arms under my shoulders and lifted me to my feet which didn't seem to want to support my weight anymore.
"Come On, Jo! Stand up! Please be Okay!" His voice was desperate as he tried to get me to stand by myself. My dress was heavy with water, but I managed to stand up straight, swaying where I stood.
"You came back." I whimpered, looking up into his face again. He looked like Oliver again.
"Course I did." He said, flashing his famous grin. " I was standing there with my mother and she was trying to calm us down, telling us that we'd grow up and get married and forget tonight ever happened, and then I started to think and...I thought that the only person I could imagine ever growing up and getting married to...is you." I had never adored Oliver more than at that moment. I leaned in and pecked him swiftly on the lips." He didn't make a face as I expected him to, he smiled again and added. " plus I would feel really awkward drowning with people I didn't know."
I laughed, hugging him so hard he gasped. We stood there for such a long time, squeezing each other that we didn't notice the water swelling up around us reaching our waists.
"Oliver, we have to move! We have to get back to the decks!" I said over the roar of swelling water.
"Okay, Okay." He said looking around. "I know the way." He took my hand and led me through hall after hall until finally we found an open stairwell.
"Yes!" I cheered, a little too loudly, as we stumbled up to a dry E deck corridor. "Oliver you're amazing!"
"Thanks." He said, getting to his feet. "Where do we go now?"
"Well, If Jack and Rose have any sense at all, they'll be on deck." I said. "Even if there not, It's our best bet."
It was when we were dashing up the stairs to the decks that I first noticed the floor was tilting, slanting upwards. The Titanic was going fast.
The deck was much more crowded then when I had seen it last. There were people of all classes everywhere. Nobody simply stood around anymore, waiting to be placed on a lifeboat. People were dashing around, screaming and wailing, while others said there last goodbyes to their husbands and fathers before stepping into lifeboats. But to my horror, gunshots rang through the air as well as the bursting sounds of fireworks form high above, adding to the hysteria. people were starting to panic. Everything, the little order the officer's had held at the beginning, was completely gone.
"Jo, look!" Oliver pointed to the bow, where water gushed over its sides almost submerging it completely. Someone had floated deck chairs across the bridge so women could get to lifeboats safely without wetting there skirts. "So it really is going down!" He said in shock.
"Jeez, I think you should've guessed that when we were waist deep in water!" I snapped at him, regaining his focus. "Now, come on, let's go this way." As we moved upwards I started to hear music, the first class orchestra was playing off to the side. It was cheery music, meant to instill calm but It only made me think of my first time eating in the dining saloon with Jack, and it made me want to cry.
There they are!" Oliver shouted over the commotion. He pointed to a couple in line for a boat. Jack's arms are wrapped securely around Rose, trying to protect her. It was a sweet moment, and seeing that made me forget about the bitter cold that tore at my skin as well.
There was a large crowd around this particular lifeboat. I saw one officer lift a girl about my age from her father's arms, into a lifeboat with her mother and sister, leaving her father on a doomed ship. Suddenly I was afraid to get too close to the boat, I feared if i did I too would be scooped up by an officer and separated from Oliver and my parents, the only people I had in the world.
"I'm not going without you." I heard Rose say to Jack as they neared the boat.
" No. You have to go, now." Said Jack firmly, taking Rose in his arms again.
"No, Jack.' Said Rose, almost pleadingly.
"Get in the boat, Rose." Jack ordered, his eyes writhing with emotion.
"No, Jack."
"Yes. Get on the boat." Jack urged pushing Rose in the direction of the officer.
"Yes, get on the boat, Rose." Caledon Hockley appeared out of the jumble of men, looking ragged, exasperated. But his voice changed as he saw the state of the two of them, worn and wet. "My God. Look at you. You look a fright. Here" he unwrapped the blanket from Rose's shoulders, shoving it at Jack, before removing his own overcoat and placing it around her shoulders. So there it was. The coat I would be wrapped in as a newborn being given to my mother by the man she loathed most. There was something poignant about it, but I couldn't say what.
She staggered away from him, in shock and detest. Jack caught her in his arms and she practically buried herself in his chest. Jack seized her by the shoulder's and looked her right in the eye.
"Go on. I'll get the next one." Jack told her, sincerely.
"No. Not without you." She cried desperately. The sound of her voice reminded me dorely of my own voice when I was upset.
"I'll be alright. Listen, I'll be fine. I'm a survivor, all right? Don't worry about me." he told her, guiding her shoulders in the right direction. "Now, go on. Get on."
"I have an arrangement with an officer on the other side of the ship." Cal said to Rose. "Jack and I can get off safely. Both of us."
"See? I got my own boat to catch. Go." Jack said. With one great motion an officer lifted her into the boat, Jack guiding her too. I knew he was lying, Rose would survive, jack would not. And I would be right back where I started, except no hope of a father. I wanted to cry out to Rose, to tell her to get out and be with Jack. But I didn't want them to know i was still here. They'd had enough heartache without knowing that a child they'd both grown attached to was doomed as well.
As the boat went down, Rose gazed up at Jack, so intently it was as if she took her eyes off him he would disappear.
"You're a good liar." Cal finally said as they watched Rose being lowered into the ocean.
"Almost as good as you." Jack said. "There's no...there's no arrangement, is there?" Jack asked, all optimism draining from his voice.
"No, there is." Cal said, bitter sweetness in his deep vocals. "Not that you'll benefit much from it." he looked at Jack with serious eyes. "I always win, Jack. One way or another." I wanted to scream out in anger and sadness. I wanted to kill Cal and hug Jack at the same time. I had never heard such cruel words in my life, not even from the matron. But the look on Jack's face stopped me, as he looked back down at Rose. He had accepted it, he was not going to survive, but that did not mean he couldn't instill that hope in the one he loved most.
Rose, though, seemed to realize what she was doing. She was leaving her one true love, possibly forever. She was leaving everything she had gained on this voyage of a lifetime. I knew Rose had made her decision not to leave Jack, as there were shouts and cries from below and Cal cried out for the officers to pull her back in. Jack dashed from the ship's edge, back through the doors to the ship's interior. Cal followed him and I followed Cal, taking Oliver's hand and pulling him along with me.
We raced into the Grand Staircase one last time and looked over its gilded railings and saw Jack and Rose, hugging and kissing furiously, in the middle of the chaos, Cal looking down at them in denial, wearing a dazed smile across his wickedly handsome face.
His valet, Lovejoy came and pulled him away from the rails, trying to spare him. They walked right past us, and I couldn't help myself.
"I guess you don't always win, do you Cal." I sneered as they walked past. Lovejoy looked at me and cocked his mouth snidely, trying to keep moving but his master had stopped and looked at me too, his face growing blank, but his eyes teeming with extreme animosity. He moved so swiftly, his valet couldn't stop him from pulling the silver pistol from inside his servant's jacket. He took it in his hands, turning and running a ways as if to pursue Jack and Rose. I dashed after him, I wasn't going to let him be the end of Jack and Rose.
But just as he reached the stairs, he turned, and gazed at me.
"Stupid child." He muttered, before pointing the pistol and firing it right at my head.
