More comin' at'cha! And not my best chapter.

Thank you all for your suggestions, and like always, if not found in this chapter, they may be found in another. :)

Alice Gone Madd gets credit for #76.

Butter4Evaz gets credit for #71.

My DA friend Harpessdragon gets credit for #77.

tatteredangel gets credit for #73.

Alice Gone Madd—XDDDD Poor, Knockout. I've set him up for hell. OH, WELL!

sexyandiknowit—IKR? I couldn't resist using that! It's just sooo perfect!

Now onward and upward!

I do not own Transformers or anything in relation, and it seriously pains me that I don't. I do own my OCs, SO DON'T STEAL THEM OR I WILL COME AFTER YOU AND MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING PIT! Enjoy. :D


Ch. 11

Artemis—71. Don't pair Ratchet with Ironhide.

(It all started on Valentine's Day.)

(Sam and Leo got the idea that it would be fun to play an innocent harmless prank on a certain wrench wielding medic and a trigger-happy weapons' specialist.)

(They were pissed because Ratchet took away their video games for a week and because Ironhide confiscated (i.e. blew up) their Gameboys 'cuz they wouldn't turn the volume down.)

(So, to get back at them, the boys' little "innocent and harmless" prank consisted of two very juicy and border-line lemony valentines, both signed in the above mentioned mechs' names.)

(Surprisingly they actually pulled it off.)

(Ratchet and Ironhide can't look each other in the optic anymore.)

(Have to admit it was pretty funny.)

(Until Ratch and 'Hide blamed me for the fake cards and put me on double cleaning duty for the next month.)

(Sam, Leo, you both better run.)

('Cuz I'm gonna take this mop handle and shove it so far up your asses that you'll be walking shish-ka-bobs.)

(And Primus help anyone who tries to stop me!)

Bay—72. Don't tell Jetfire and Jetstorm that 'twat' stands for "totally, wicked, awesome technoes".

(The look on Sentinel's faceplates when the flyboys called him that was totally worth every nano-click of the one hour timeout.)

(Which had to be given to me by Ultra Magnus because Optimus was too busy bustin' a gasket to say anythin'.)

(I don't care how serious he tries to make his poker face.)

(Magnus thought it was funny.)

Hunter—73. Never throw caution to the wing when quoting Pewdie Pie.

(I love this dude!)

(He's fraggin' awesome!)

" Yellow is evil, so don't drink your piss."

(It was a discussion during Hybrid class that I was only half-listening to.)

(Greasy asked me if I had anything else to add.)

(Well...)

(I added something!)

" It's not called "being gay", it's called "being FABULOUS!"!"

(No, Knockout.)

(It's called "being gay".)

(You can't expect people to not think of you that way when you admire my dad's "sweet rims".)

(The fact that you had your holoform get a no-polish manicure doesn't put up a great case for your "straightness" either.)

(And, all cards on the table, neither does your neon pink buffer.)

" Hey don't fuck with me! I have a drill. I have a drill, mother-fucker."

(Ratchet + Statsis-deprived + High grade = not a good combination.)

(Throw any kind of power-tool into the equation and there's only one thing left to do.)

(Run for your fraggin' lives.)

" Twist my nipples, Epps! TWIST THEM!"

(That is the last time I do Sarah a favor and go over to the ranch to check on the guys while they're bachin'-it for the weekend!)

(I am totally fine with putting into place the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy for the base.)

(Epps and Will: WE'RE NOT GAY!)

" BARRLES!"

(Oh, Fowler! XDD)

(If only you could stay loopy and out of it all the time.)

(Then people might actually like you.)

(Fowler: The emu says "Yeah!"!)

(See what I mean?)

" Dad, I'm a noob!"

(Optimus: Thank you for the update, sweet-spark.)

(You're welcome, Daddy! X3)

" I rode into town on an ass... YOUR MAMA'S ASS!"

(Ultra Magnus...)

(You should never, in a million, billion years, go pop culture.)

(Despite what you might think, you're not cool like that.)

(Besides, Jack did not appreciate the comment.)

(And, dude, his mom was standing right behind you!)

(I never wanna see June Darby that angry ever again.)

(*whispers* That was even more scary than Megatron.)

" Raptor, I'm not going to make out with you! I told you many time, I'm not going to make out with you!"

(Coincidentally enough, there is a guy named Raptor in my class at Hybrid school.)

(He's a cheater and we sit right next to each other.)

(We had a history test the other day and I caught him sneaking a peek at my paper.)

(Raptor doesn't cheat off me anymore.)

(He doesn't have a girlfriend anymore either.)

(That's not a big loss on her part.)

" What the hell did I just do? Oh! It's a song! *dances*"

(I don't wanna know what Miko did to Wheeljack's stuff.)

(And I don't wanna know.)

(Just keep the fire extinguisher on hand.)

(And get ready to run for your lives.)

" This is totally... this is totally... SHUT UP. Don't do it."

(Miko and I should've listened to Raf.)

(Mattress surfing down the catwalk stairs was really not a good idea.)

(Oh, don't worry, she's okay.)

(I'm the one who face-planted into the floor.)

(And left a huge dent.)

(Arcee said she always knew I was a hard head.)

(Dad didn't comment.)

" I NEVER FUCKING LIKED YOU, TIDE!"

(Epps does not like stains on his clothes.)

" You go first, girl."

(Me: " But, Dad, I don't want tooooo!")

(Whenever we have to enter Smokescreen's room for some reason or other.)

(The horror...)

(The horror!)

" Alright, what's the plan? Run for it! Bad plan. Plan B! FUCK SHIT UP! And die. That's good."

(Okay.)
(Remind me again whose idea it was to let Smokescreen make the plan?)

Artemis—74. Always be prepared to have a replacement inspirational speaker on hand when Optimus (Dad) is unable to perform said task.

(And I cannot be the replacement.)

(Everyone learned that the hard way when new recruits came to the base and Dad was undergoing some much needed repairs.)

(I'm pretty sure Will's and Epps' line of thinking was: " Let's just throw Artemis out there since she's the living AllSpark. How much damage can she possibly do?")

(Evidently, a lot.)

(I've never given a public speech before.)

(And it showed.)

(The welcome part was okay.)

(It was the inspirational part that got a little sketchy.)

(" I want to relieve you an any preconceived notions you might have about this place, men. It's gonna be hard. And by "hard" I mean "deadly". Half of you probably won't make it past the first mission. You'll be crushed, blown up, ripped apart, and over all killed.")

(Yeah...)
(Half of the recruits transferred out the next day.)

(It's officially been decided that I'm never allowed to give a speech to the new guys ever again.)

(Hey, say what you want.)

(I weed out the wussies.)

Bay—75. Never underestimate the reach and impact of Bieber-fever.

(Yes, it's actually a rule.)

(All you need to know is that it has to do with Sentinel.)

(The Bieb should be very happy to know that he has a walking attitude problem for a Belieber.)
(For the record, none of us were surprised.)

Hunter—76. Don't call Knockout 'cherry red'.

(He's not 'cherry red'.)

(He's 'berry red'.)

(Totally different colors, people.)

(*rolls eye*)

Artemis—77. Do establish the difference between 'waxing' and 'waxing'.

(Ironhide wanted to know what Mikeala, Sarah, the other women of N.E.S.T., and I do to our legs that causes us to yelp and wince.)

(He laughed when we replied: " Waxing.")

(He didn't understand how waxing could be painful.)

(He thought of it as a message that makes him look shiny and new.)

(Apparently he didn't know there's more than one kind of waxing.)

(He definitely knows the difference now.)

(I never knew you could wax the hair off a holoform.)

(So gross yet so weirdly cool at the same time.)


Good? Bad? Yes? No? Funny? Voldshtein? Any ideas for what other rules to do? If you have some, leave a comment, and, unless you think the idea would be absolutely perfect for a certain girl, don't leave an OC name beside it. I'll decide what rule goes to whom. Yes, I'm a control freak like that. :)