Accidents 11
A/N Sorry this took so long!
BPOV
"I remember."
I could remember. I could remember everything. Too much, unfortunately. I could remember how Edward had talked to me the night Alice had woken my up at two in the morning.
The way he had treated me…I suppressed a shudder. Nobody had the right to do that. Especially not Edward. I could also remember that Edward had been locked in the trunk of his car…and then Victoria had taken me.
I could also remember not remembering. It had been a terrible feeling, as if you are trapped in a small space, and there's only so much you can see of the outside world. I shuddered, glad to be free.
Not that I was very happy right now.
My anger at Edward's idiocy was too strong for me to be joyful. I mean, first of all, he had to go off and be all broody after he slipped up. Which, eventually resulted in my being kidnapped be Victoria. Not that I blamed him, of course. But if he wasn't so masochistic in the first place…
Needless to say that there was not a smile on my face, even though on the inside I was doing back-flips of joy.
Edward, on the other hand, looked ecstatic. He looked like a five-year-old who had just gotten his first bike on Christmas morning. He was glowing…The very sight of him made my frown lessen.
His eyes were topaz again, and I guessed that he must of gone hunting while I had been sleeping-that was what he had been coming back from when I woke up.
I stood up, and Edward followed me, standing up too.
"Bella?" He asked hesitantly.
I nodded, my frown growing despite Edward's expression.
"Are you all right?" He asked again. He walked forward to put his hand on my face.
"Don't touch me." I leaned out of the way.
"Why not?"
I started counting off the reasons on my fingertips. "Well, first of all, you weren't very nice to me. I mean, sure, be upset that you slipped up. But don't take it out on me! I was trying to help you, Edward! And you just…" I trailed off in anger. "And then I get turned into a vampire. Which is very awesome, by the way," Edward frowned. "But I'm not done yet. So, I become a vampire. And you don't even tell me! What, you were going to wait until I killed some innocent human before telling me that I was a vampire?"
"Of course not-"
"I'm not done yet!"
Edward crossed his arms over his chest, making the muscles stand out nicely. I inwardly sighed.
"Sorry."
"And I haven't even mentioned our fight that we had back at your house. I mean hello, ouch! Wasn't my psyche already messed up enough as it was? You could have just told me the modified version of why you left! You didn't have to go and ask me if I wanted you to leave again." I could almost feel the hurt rolling off of me. If I wasn't a vampire I would've surely been crying angry tears.
Edward came closer to me again, and this time I let him touch me.
"Bella," He whispered, touching my face with the lightest of all touches. My eyes almost slid shut in response to the feeling that coursed through me. "I didn't mean to do any of that. I was just about to tell you about your being a...anyways. And I'm so sorry for how I took my anger out on you that night. I was just…frustrated. I couldn't believe that I had let myself do that. I began to feel as if I wouldn't be able to control myself around you, and that I would hurt you. I couldn't let that happen."
I grabbed his hand with mine, holding it to my face securely.
"You hurt me anyways," I couldn't stop the words from slipping out. Even though I stared at the ground as I said them, I knew that he heard.
He was silent for a long moment. I glanced up. He was looking as if someone had punched him in the stomach. No, he looked as if I had punched him.
"I'm sorry," I whispered the words, trying to gain the courage to look into his eyes. I wasn't quite sure why I was sorry. Maybe for telling him of what he had done.
"Oh, Bella." Edward sighed the words. He freed his hand from my fingers and slid his thumb across my face. "What am I going to do with you?"
"Love me?" I asked pitifully.
He smiled slightly, "Of course." He bent down to rest his forehead against mine.
I leaned my face up, and my lips pressed against his. It was a beautiful kiss, filled with so much passion and emotion- for even though I didn't attack Edward for once, and was filled with love and happiness.
Yes, happiness. All of my anger had slipped away the moment Edward put his hand on my face. It was a moment of heaven.
Right smack in the middle of hell. Because, when I pulled away, my breathing heavy even though I had no need for oxygen, I could smell it.
Blood.
It smelt wonderful, amazing. It was as if I was dying of thirst and this was what could satisfy me.
I ripped myself out of Edward's grasp. He must have smelt the blood too, because he tried to hold me back, with a cry of "No, Bella!" But I was stronger than him. I struggled for a few short moments, pulling out of his grasp easily.
I started to run towards the heavenly scent, pushing myself forward to satiate my thirst.
I had to have that blood. I wanted to drink it, taste it. I wanted to feel it running down my throat. The monster inside of me had broken free, and her thirst was driving her mad.
Something tackled me to the ground, abruptly making me think for a moment. A very short moment. All I was able to sense was that it was Edward who had tackled me; he didn't want me to have the blood.
It was my blood. He was not going to take it from me. I was beyond any type of reason, lost to practical emotions.
I flipped around with a loud roar, and I threw Edward off of me. I spun around and went back on my hunt. The hunter against the prey. I was going to win.
I pushed my legs harder, and then I had it. My lips were at the neck of my meal, my teeth in its neck. It wouldn't scream. It was dead the moment I laid my fingers on it.
The blood was warm wonderful in my mouth, and I was drinking it all in.
The blood disappeared much too quickly. I was still thirsty when I dropped the body, but the monster had been tamed. There was no blood left to entice me.
I stumbled backwards, my eyes wide and my breathing ragged. My hand came to my mouth, and it surprised to find that I was not covered in blood. The only evidence of what I had done was the body.
I looked at the body, at the blank eyes that stared back into mine, and I felt a pang of recognition.
Charlie Swan was staring up at me from the forest floor, dead. I had killed my own father.
I truly was a monster. My breathing was now in fast gasps as I tripped back farther. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I pushed it off. I wrapped my arms around my torso, shaking me head, as I started to whisper "No."
Edward wrapped his solid arms around me. I struggled for a few moments, not even trying to use my full strength. I was too distraught.
"I killed him," the words had come out of my mouth, but I felt as if someone else was saying them.
Edward didn't say anything. What could he have said? He only grabbed my chin softly to look up at him.
I was shaking my head again, as my eyes turned away from my father's body to look into Edward's. His eyes were soft and apologetic.
"I'm sorry." A whimper escaped my throat.
"It's not your fault, Bella."
"Of course it is. I should've been able to- I should have…" I trailed off in horror.
"Accidents happen."
My arms were still around myself, and then Edward's arms were around mine. I let go of myself, and slid my arms around his waist, hugging myself to him.
"I'm sorry." I had a feeling that not much else would be coming out of my mouth for quite a while.
He stroked my hair, and I sobbed tearlessly.
A/N I'm not actually quite sure what to do next. I'm pretty sure that this is one of the last chapters, though. I have a bit of an idea of what the next chapter will be about, but don't expect it to be up tomorrow or anything.
110 Days!!
