Chapter 10

Freddie was holding all the cards. At least that's what this felt like to him. And, it was a weird, but not completely unfamiliar feeling. It reminded him of how Carly reacted to him saving her life. But, never would he have thought Sam could succumb to the mere suggestion that he be in love with her. The idea that Sam could have developed these feelings - romantic feelings - for him in such a short amount of time, just because Carly told her that he had feelings for her, was crazy. But, at the same time, he thought maybe it hadn't been so sudden. Maybe it was there all along. The taunting, the physical abuse, might have been Sam's outlet for her feelings towards nubby-him. And, maybe all Sam really needed was to think the possibility existed that he could also have those feelings for her – and, not for Carly anymore – so she could let herself be honest about what she felt, or at least channel it differently. The idea of it made him bold, empowered, and confident. He'd felt the same way a few days after their first kiss, during History when Bonnie Butterfield passed him a note asking him if she could meet him after class to borrow his notes because she'd been out the day before. It turned out that she'd only thought he had really neat handwriting; but still, at that moment Bonnie'd passed the note, he'd thought himself pretty cool, and he knew the truth about why. He'd now experienced his first kiss - he wasn't lame - and Sam hadn't said it was suckish. Now, Sam Puckett, who'd called him names, pulled prank after prank on him, and embarrassed him publicly – internationally – was falling in love with him. Sam Puckett. It was a heavy responsibility to bear – Sam's love.

Should he handle her the way Carly always has him? Gently, and potentially comically, let her down easy. Freddie didn't think that course of action would be possible with Sam. In fact, it could be dangerous – a Puckett scorned, and all that. Would she still want to be friends? He couldn't jeopardize that. If he rejected her, she would most certainly not want to be roommates. But, that didn't seem to him as important anymore. Of course Freddie still wanted her to want to move to Boston with him, but at what price? He was too caring a friend – despite everything she'd ever done to him, and because of everything she'd ever done for him – to sacrifice her dignity. So, the question became: would it really be so bad to let her love him? Accept her love…and, return it?

Freddie politely knocked before turning the knob to enter through the always unlocked door to 8-C. "So…you know when you find out someone likes you, and then you kinda start liking them?" he asked cautiously. Carly was sitting on the couch and looked up from her Rock 'n' Roll magazine, blinked twice purposefully, and looked away slightly embarrassed. "Guess not," Freddie dead-panned. "Here's the thing. Ever since yesterday when you said that Sam likes me, I –"

"You like Sam!" Carly exclaimed happily. She tossed her magazine on the coffee table and watched Freddie in anticipation.

"I didn't say that."

"So…you really aren't into Sam?" she asked deflated.

"Carly…I- I don't know how I feel about Sam."

"Do you still like me?"

"Carly...you'll always be my first crush. And, Sam...Sam will always be my first kiss. But, we're friends…I-I don't know. I think, though, that if I still liked you the way I used to…then...I'd know if I didn't like Sam."

"You know, I think it would be great if you and Sam got together. I mean, I know how you used to feel about me, and I was always flattered -"

"Carly, don't okay? This whole thing with Sam is already awkward enough. Listen, it never hurt my feelings – every time you turned me down - I knew how you really felt, okay? You've always been the best friend."

"So, what about Sam?"

"Well...I mean, you know there've been a few girls who've liked me well enough, but nothing ever really came of those dates or class crushes. Sam's...different - in more ways than one. What if it doesn't work out? You guys are my best friends. And…what if she tells you stuff?"

"Like what kinda - Ew! Let's worry about that if and when it happens," she said shuddering. Carly looked at Freddie and saw that he was genuinely troubled, and wanted to be more supportive to him. Quietly she asked him, "Why did you ask Sam to move to Boston with you?"

"I got a letter from M.I.T. saying there was no more Freshmen Housing. I needed someone to room off-campus with me."

"What did your mom say?"

"I haven't told her yet."

"About Sam?"

"About any of it."

"Freddie, that was weeks ago! You know, Sam's crazy about you. Maybe I can't tell when two eye rolls and a creepy smile mean 'toothpick' – I mean really, how was I supposed to know that Sam can't wink? But, I can tell when something is important to her. And, this thing happening between you two is important to her. She's moving to Boston for you. All those other reasons…they're just…convenient. She really wants to go with you. You need to talk to her. And, you really need to tell your mom about what you two are doing."

"That's what I figured you'd say."

"Is that what you came over for?"

"Sorta. I also have to update some applications on the iCarly website. But, I've been thinking about this situation all day. Here, Sam drew this during science." Freddie held out a picture of he and Sam moving into what looked like a house. In it the Sam-like figure was holding only a remote, while the Freddie-like one behind her balanced: a television, two chairs, a coffee table, and four suitcases.

"Wow. Your life isn't in danger in this one," Carly marveled. "You're pretty strong," she added, handing him back the drawing.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I don't know if I'm ready for this, Carly." He stood looking at the picture for a moment, and then continued, "I really do care about Sam, though…I really do."

"Do you really still think you should move in together?"

"We're not 'moving in together', we'll be roommates. And yeah, I mean, I still want to. Ever since I asked her to go, she's been really cool to hang out with. Not that she wasn't before, and she still messes with me a little, but I think we really could make it work. I think she'd like living in Boston. And, I like spending time with her."

"You mean, without me around? Not that I'm jealous - just clarifying."

"Carly, you haven't had to protect me from Sam or be the 'something we have in common' for years now."

"I know...Freddie, do you think things would change very much if you did get together?"

Freddie's forehead scrunched in contemplation, "That's the weird thing - I don't. I just...it's hard for me to think about Sam as a girlfriend - I mean, of her as my girlfriend. Not that I've never imagined us -"

"Wait," Carly interrupted. "You've thought about dating Sam?" A slight smile slowly grew on her face.

"Well...yeah…but, I would never have expected her to be the least bit interested in me. And, it was just hypothetical, you know? And now…I can't stop thinking about it - about it being a real possibility. But, I don't know if how I feel about her is like what you say she feels about me." He headed for the stairs, but turned back to address her again. "Hey, have you spoken to Sam since yesterday?"

"No, why?"

"She was acting weird when she left…kinda sad-like."

"I never actually saw her today. She hasn't called or texted me either. But, you saw her again in class; how did she seem then?"

"I guess the same as usual. We didn't talk, though, except for when she handed me this," he said gesturing with the drawing.

"You know what, Freddie, I don't think things are as bad as you think they are," Carly responded with a hopeful smile and reassuring pat to Freddie's shoulder.

Still dejected, Freddie gestured to Carly that he was going up to the studio, and began to make his way up the stairs again. He turned back to her from the landing and asked, "Sam really can't wink?"

"Nope. And, it's really funny watching her try."

A/N: So...you know what to do, right? Okay, just in case you don't know what to do - you've read, now please review. Good. Now we're all clear.