Chapter 11: Belief.

Emma held her hair with one hand as she quickly squatted over her cell toilet, in an effort to empty her stomach, like every other morning of the past two weeks, the back of her throat contracted and she mentally cursed herself when the only thing coming out of her mouth was the bitter taste of her liver bile, she hadn't eaten at all in the past twenty hours, to be precise she had not tasted a bite since the unfortunate visit, of her still undefined not so imaginary but very imaginary childhood friend. The gorgeous woman had been the only thing in her mind all day and night, she just kept trying to imagine the worse-case scenarios in which the woman may have possibly had an actual good reason to leave her in the past and yet she couldn't find one that in her opinion was good enough.

She sat in bed still feeling sick to her stomach, hoping today was a good day for her, but today was visitation day again and honestly she didn't know what scared her the most, that Regina would probably step by for another visit or the high possibility that she would not.

She lined up in the cafeteria and waited for the woman at the counter to fill her tray with the nasty crap they called food, her stomach growled in protest as she gobbled down the dough of powdered eggs laying on her plate, she washed it down with a surprisingly sweet orange juice and rapidly ate the bite of cornbread she had left. She didn't want to held hope high, but anyways she sat in the tv room waiting anxiously for when the speaker in the corner turned on to announce the first visits of the day.

"Emma Swan," the speaker blared first and she couldn't stop her heart from beating fast while she made her way rapidly to the visitation room.

"Emma," Regina smiled when she approached her table and Emma felt like that smile could wipe anything away, before Regina could register what was happening, the blonde leaped on her giving her a tight hug she gladly returned.

"Regina," Emma whispered flustered by her own actions when the guard made them separate, "you didn't leave," she added more to herself than to the brunette, before she let herself fall on the other end of the table.

"Of course not Emma, I won't leave again, unless you ask me to," she replied and something in Emma's eyes let her know she was internally battling to believe her words.

"I want you to explain," Emma let out and her features became dark, " I promise I'll listen to everything you have to say," she added and Regina bit her bottom lip pondering the possibility of telling Emma the truth and risking that she would probably not want to talk with her again.

"You won't believe me if I tell you," she said with sadness, knowing she couldn't lie anymore and sure that telling the truth wouldn't do any better in this situation.

"Try me," Emma answered with resolve.

"Do you remember the stories I used to tell you when you were little?"

"How do a bunch of fairytales relate to this?"

"You said you would listen," Regina reminded her and the blonde fell silent once again, "There was a time in the Enchanted Forest when the feared Evil Queen was about to get her craved revenge, she made her appearance in Snow White and Prince Charming's wedding and threatened them with a very powerful curse that would steal the happiness from everyone else to build her own, she wasn't ready to cast this curse, but when she found everything she needed she didn't hesitate to cast it and so the darkness flooded the entire kingdom and she was so close to get her long-awaited revenge. But she found out there was a flaw in her perfectly planned vengeance, Snow White was with child and this child was destined to be the Queen's undoing and so she marched down to the White Palace with the only purpose to end the life of the little creature whose only sin was being born in the wrong family, but she arrived late and Snow White and Prince Charming had already sent her away, to where they thought she would safe and the curse was enacted at last," Emma bit her tongue to don't let her thoughts out while Regina continued with her story, " But the Queen ended up trapped in her own curse, where time didn't pass and loneliness was the only reward she got, until one day something magical happened, her magic mirror show her a little girl and the Queen didn't feel lonely no more and when she thought it was finally her time to be happy, it all crumbled down to the grown for that little girl was no other than the one she condemned to loneliness on her own and she run away scared of the uncertainty of the future that would come if she gave herself to the love she felt for the little girl that was her downfall."

"I'm not a child anymore Regina, I don't believe in fairytales, I don't believe in Snow White, Prince Charming and above all things I do not believe in the Evil Queen!" Emma's tongue had now the taste blood from how hard she tried to stop herself from talking before the brunette finished and now that she finally could, her words where bitter and rough, because she couldn't believe how the brunette kept on playing with her, like she was still a little girl. But she wasn't, not anymore.

"You used to love the Evil Queen," Regina let out with a knot in her throat, she fought the tears now gathering in her eyes and reached out to hold Emma's hand over the table.

"Well, I was just a stupid little girl, that believed in magic mirrors and magic ladies coming out of them to rescue me. I think we can both say my judgement was a little messed up by then," she spit and her hand went into a fist under Regina's.

"No it wasn't and I regret every single day, that I wasn't strong enough to save you, believe me, I fought with who I was, constantly battling to change, for you, for us, but I was never good enough, I know you don't believe me and you have every single right to don't believe in magic or fairytales and above all thing you have the right to don't believe in me, but I'm telling you the truth even though I know it gives you another million reasons to hate me, because now you know, I ruined you, from the second you were born," Emma's eyes were two sharp knives digging in her soul, trying to find the tiniest trace of a lie in her words, but she couldn't.

"Why did you come back?" Emma asked lowly, her hand finally relaxing under the brunette's warm one.

"You disappeared," Regina let out and the blonde's face became a puzzle.

"What do you mean?"

"I watched you, all this time, I've been watching you your whole life, it was hard sometimes but then I saw you in that patrol car and you disappeared, no more reflective windows where I could watch you walk by, no convex mirrors in grocery stores, no more five minute check in the mirror of a motel room. Nothing. I feared the worse," she confessed and Emma frowned torn between her reason and the tiny bubble of hope growing in her heart that maybe against all logical explanation Regina was actually telling the truth, that the magic mirrors existed, fairytale characters were real and she had a place in this world a place where she actually belonged to. But fairytales are not true and hope is a curse she swore she wouldn't fall into anymore.

"I don't believe you," she shrugged.

"I know, but I will probe it to you," Regina said with determination, "remember this?" She asked pulling her silver locket from under her buttoned up shirt, "the other day I heard you and the guard talking in your cell, she pulled your car keys form the envelope and i saw you through your locket's mirror, if magic mirrors didn't exist how would I know, that you are pregnant Emma?"

"I don't know," The blonde shrugged again and a single tear slid down her cheek.

"I know it's rather impossible to believe, but I don't ask you to believe, I ask you to give me a chance to redeem my mistakes, even when I don't deserve one. I want to be there for you Emma, through it all, for you and for that baby that is coming, please let me," she pleaded and a tear also escaped her eyes.

"I don't even know if I'm going to keep it," she accepted and tears finally fell free down her face, she sounded so vulnerable and Regina only wanted to hold her tight in her arms, she knew she wasn't allowed to do that until the visitation was over, so she just squished her hand in her own, thankful that today's guard at least let them hold hands.

"It's okay, you'll figure this out, I'll help you, alright?"

"I can't do this again Regina, If you leave again I don't think—, I don't believe I'll have it in me to recover."

Emma's voice was a scared squeak and Regina blamed herself for being the cause of so much pain.

"I won't."

"I guess, we'll see about that."

Some minutes passed while the sat in silence, Regina tracing circles in the back of Emma's hand as she wiped the still coming tears, sobbing as her worst fear settled down in her heart, hope that she wouldn't be alone anymore.

"Tell me about Storybrooke will you?" Emma talked first.

"Oh well it's incredibly boring and I'm all alone," she said.

"Well but if this 'curse' of yours was real, one would say at least you would have some fun out of torturing my parents," alright maybe it was all just a big fat lie, however she always as a kid had hoped that the Evil Queen would be have her happy ending and now she wanted some details on this maybe not so perfect but still accomplished vengeance.

"Okay so Mary Margaret, that's Snow's name in Storybrooke, she's a preschool teacher who tries desperately to find love but fails in every attempt, probably because I have her one true love laying in a coma somewhere in the ICU.

"Are you kidding me?" Emma deadpanned when she finished.

"What?"

"The great revenge of the feared Evil Queen, is having Snow White clean buggers by day and hook up with strangers by night?" She whined disappointed, "I mean come on! At least the Dark Palace had its torture chambers."

"Oh shut up Swan!" Regina chuckled.

"No kidding, the woman abandoned her newborn child!" Emma complained, "I deserve a real compensation for all the years I spend in the system because of her.

"It was my fault to begin with Emma," Regina reminded her.

"Oh, so you threatened her kingdom with a curse, she didn't have to throw me out to the world alone, hoping that one day I would come back to kick your ass as punishment for your bad actions, like seriously how old was I when she decided I could survive alone in the world, at least one week?" Truth or not Emma knew one thing, she had never for one second liked Snow White.

"Probably a few minutes," Regina corrected.

"Exactly, now you have to do better, because I think I deserved better than that," Emma stated and sent a pouty gaze her way.

"I'm going to tell you something, one day when you get out of here, I'll let you decide what her future holds," the brunette offered.

"Come on, do I have to do all the work?" Emma whined again and Regina laughed.

AN/: Since I know all of you are very eager for more Swan Queen and in compensation for the past chapters that didn't have SQ at all, I thought I would give you this one sooner than I normally do, as you all know I'm updating this story more often now so I hope you are enjoying as much as I am. Now I know the Roni chapters were somehow unnecessary and even though I enjoy writing them I think I'm gonna take a big leap on the plot soon and concentrate on the story that matters, that is what we all came for, the Queen and her little Swan, that being said I'm sorry for the people that somehow got offended, mad or even sad bc of what I wrote, I really thought you guys were enjoying Roni, I'm sorry. Now for that friend that warned me this would happen (she knows who she is), I know you told me so.