A/N: Here's the next chapter!!! Woot woot! XD

Okay, now, this chap. may be a bit sappy, and kind of lovey. But, you've all read New Moon, I'm guessing, so, you can probably read this.

~Bella


Chapter 11.

Heart Brake and Misery


Edward's POV

~*~*~*~

It has been three years since I've talked to Bella. I was in agony, dying to say at least one word one word o her. But, I was afraid I'd do something I'd regret.

Last week I started watching her at her castle, but never close enough to smell her. I didn't want to take the chance.

I ran through the woods, the sun setting quickly. My skin would shimmer when I got under the light, but only for a mere second due to my speed. I soon stopped, and saw the castle before me. I sat down in a close by tree, and watched.

I liked watching her. It was enjoyable. A few months ago I found out that I loved her, but I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't want to hurt her, and I had a feeling that she wouldn't love me back with me like this. I was a monster. She didn't deserve to have to go through life with someone so sadistic.

Bella's POV

~*~*~*~

I walked up to

my bedroom, and opened the door. I walked in, changed into my night gown, and sat down on my bed. I always felt as if I was being watched lately, but that might be the hysteria talking.

I walked out to the balcony, and leaned against the railing. I closed my eyes, and bent my head down, my hair falling on either side of me. I was getting depressed. The whole kingdom could tell, and my parents were worried. I didn't want to worry them, and I had tried to act as convincing as ever, but I was never a good lier.

Edward's POV

~*~*~*~

I watched her, smiling a little. This was my favorite time of the day. I was never able to hear her thoughts, though. Her mind was blank, unreadable. It bothered me slightly, not knowing what she was thinking, but I was thankful that I was able to watch her from a distance instead of not at all.

I watched her look at the sky, and the moon light made her pale skin glow faintly. I just wanted to be able to move the strand of hair from out of her face, but knew that I couldn't. It would scare her, no doubt; my skin was ice cold.

I leaned against the tree, watching her intently, not wanting this night to end. This was as close as I was aloud, and I would cherish it.

Bella's POV

~*~*~*~

I looked out at the dark lawn, and up at the stars, twinkling in the night sky. I sighed, and a single tear went down my cheek. I missed him. Badly. How do you let go of someone you love? You can't. And, once you figure out a way, it's difficult. So, here I was: An orphan, who fell into an other world, met the man I loved, lost him, and then found my parents. I am very happy that I found my parents, but that didn't change any thing.

And, yes, I said that I loved him. I had an epiphany a year ago during horse back riding, and broke out crying. I stayed in my bed room, not wanting to come out. My parents had tried every thing, and after a few weeks I started to get myself back together enough to start acting as if every thing was okay.

I sighed, and closed my eyes. How was I going to live on without him? How was I going to be able to convince my parents that I was okay? I couldn't, really. I just had to find a way to distract myself.

I heard a knock on my door, and turned to see one of the maids. She smiled sadly, knowing what was wrong, and gestured me in. I nodded, and walked in, sitting on my bed. She pulled out a quilt, and placed it over my other one. I got under the covers, and rested my head on the pillows. She placed a cup of tea next to my bed, and placed my books on the shelves. I hadn't read in a while. Well, actually two years would be more exact. I only read historical books when I was supposed to.

I closed my eyes, wishing for a long night and wrestles sleep, but, as usual, I didn't get it. I couldn't get to sleep for several hours until I saw a bit of light out side my window. I soon drifted to sleep, and was waken by my maid a few hours later.

Edward's POV

~*~*~*~

What have I done? Yes, maybe I was responsible for my disappearance, but she looked devastated, depressed, heart broken. she was paler then normal, I noticed, and she looked slightly thinner. I've put her through this.

I jumped off the tree, not wanting to see any more, and ran back to the cottage. I opened the door once I got there, and saw Clarence sitting in front of his desk, reading. He looked up, and smiled lightly.

"Have a nice night?" he asked, placing his book down.

"No, actually, I didn't," I said, my voice holding a little bit of anger in it. He raised an eye brow, questioning my tone.

"What happened?" he asked.

"When can I talk to her?" I blurted out. his lips quirked a little.

"Well, that is up to you. You could either do it now and risk it, or, wait a few more years." I sighed, and looked up at the ceiling.

"She looked depressed, heart broken," I told him.

"Yes, I know," he said, a sad smile on his lips. "But, you are too. just wait a bit longer and than you can go." I bit make a retort, and walked out of the room, growling under my breath. I walked up to the room I kept my stuff in, and sat on the chair I had. I looked out the window, and sighed. I closed my eyes, my forehead now pressed to the window seal, and wished that I was able to sleep. At least there I would be able to get away from all of this. Mental pain was the only pain I was able to feel, or at least that has been so the last three years. I would gladly take physical pain instead of this. This kind of pain was too much, and I could no longer handle it. I needed her; I needed my Bella.

Bella's POV

~*~*~*~

I got up from my chair, and turned before a tear escaped me. I wiped it away quickly, and turned back to my parents.

"I-I'm engaged?" I asked, my voice trembling. "To whom?" My mother bit her lower lip, and my father looked perplexed.

"Well, as you know, you Jacob and his father struck gold, and are now one of the wealthiest families in our land. In any land, actually." I turned to him, my arms folded over my chest. "Well, you've turned down all of the others, or, they turned you down due to your unhappiness." He paused, and I waited. "you're engaged to Jacob Black." I held back my gasp, and turned on my heal. I ran out of the room, tears streaking my face, and ran back to my room. I locked the door and shoved my dresser in front of it. I collapsed on my bed, and sobbed, my heart aching.

Will it - no, could it ever get better?


A/N: So?? Like the drama??? I had fun with this one, if I do say so myself.

PLEASE review! it'll make my day!! Thanks!

Bella