A quick note for a reviewer who asked why this story seems familiar (I did check and chapter 10 wasn't uploaded twice): you likely read the story the first time when it was posted on Tumblr. I've edited it up and fluffed it up for her. Hope that clears things up.


"Would you like a drink?" Regina asks as they cross through the foyer and enter her office. Though her voice is steady, she seems anxious in a way that Robin's unused to. He has witnessed many sides of her by now, but this isn't one of them and it unsettles him.

It unsettles him, he realizes sadly, because she looks unsettled by him, one hand resting on her belly in an almost protective manner.

He wonders if she's afraid of him.

Of course not; Regina Mills is afraid of no one.

Only Robin knows better than that; Regina puts up a hell of a front but underneath all of that tough prickliness is a lot of fear about the things she can't control and the people she will never be able to trust. The ones who one day might demand repayment in blood for her sins. The people that she'd taken loved ones from. He's one of them and though he believes that he's forgiven her and let go of the woman that she once was, he now understands that it's something that does exist between the two them and will continue to exist until they truly confront it. Along with the rest of their many issues.

His marriage with Marian is over (has been over for thirty years) but it's not as simple as just having fallen out of love with her. Three decades ago, he'd been head over heels for her and then one day she hadn't come home.

The beautiful woman in front of him - the one twisting her hands around as she awaits his answer - is the one responsible for her not coming home.

Kind of.

Sort of.

It's complicated and things still don't make much sense to him. Like how it is that he'd never heard about the execution especially if the intent of the Evil Queen had been to publicize the consequences for aiding Snow White. Sure, he and John and the others had been over near the border of King George's land but something like that would have traveled to their ears. And it hadn't; there had been no great no announcement before or after the death.

After, Robin can understand being that no execution had occurred, but certainly there should have been some pre-notice and there hadn't been.

It just makes no sense.

Even saying that, though - even thinking that - he understands that these are things that might not ever entirely make sense to him and that this is still as good a place for he and Regina to start to deal with their pasts as any.

It's as good a place to find out if they have a future as they'll get.

"A drink would be appreciated," Robin says softly. "Something strong."

She chuckles at that but there's no humor in the sound. She turns her back on him - though not entirely, she's still enough at a slant that if he were to move quickly towards her, she could react. He doesn't believe that her stance has anything to do with him, though. Rather, it's a protective measure for herself (never turn your back on anyone and give them an advantage, he thinks) and for the baby as well. One hand, he notices, is still settled over her belly.

"Are you feeling all right?" Robin asks after several moments of silence have passed with only the sound of clinking ice cubes filling up the warm air.

She turns to look at him, her eyebrow lifting up slightly as she smirks at him, seeming to know that he's stalling for time just a little bit here. "I'm fine. You?"

"I've been better," he admits. "But I don't come here for comfort."

"Good," she says. "Because I'm not sure…I'm not sorry your marriage is over and I know what kind of woman that makes me, but…why is it over, Robin? Did you leave her or did she leave you? How did it end for the two of you?"

"She ended it," he admits.

"And if she hadn't?"

"I'd probably still be there."

"Right." She looks over at the sideboard and sighs. "What I wouldn't do for a drink of my own right now." She looks down at her belly. "No, I'm not going to actually have one; you can stop being a pain in the ass for three seconds."

"You're sure you're all right?" he asks with a chuckle.

"Yes. Like I said, she has opinions." She looks up at him and meet his eyes. "Why are you here? You said you wanted us to be honest. What about?"

"What happened with Marian thirty years ago."

"Oh," she says, her face quickly changing from an expression of initial surprise to something far colder and less emotional. Or at least that's what she tries to make happen, but the truth is that she's finding it harder to keep everything wrapped up and talking with her once-lover isn't helping.

"But I think we should also talk about…what you're actually feeling about all of this," he suggests, stepping closer to her. "About the choice that I made."

"I don't think that's a smart idea," she says, retreating for him. It's the light touch of his hand on her arm that stops her and makes her look up at him.

"I love you," Robin says quietly. "But we both hurt each other terribly whether we intended to or not. You caused me great loss and grief thirty years ago and I broke your heart five months ago. We can't move forward until we -"

"Who says I want us to move forward?" Regina snaps back. "Just because your wife realized that she deserved better doesn't mean that I don't."

"You do," he answers, refusing to let her see just how much her words make his heart arche. "And if you don't want to move forward - if you personally don't want anything from me at all - then I can live with that as long as you allow me to be a father to our little girl. But I still think that we owe each other this conversation. I think that from the moment this all happened, from the moment I knew…" he trails off, frowning as he tries to choose his words.

But Regina, ever impatient, finishes his sentence for him, "From the moment you knew that the woman that you'd…" she looks confused and uncertain for a moment, despite his very recently declaration of love for her. And because it's easier and helps her keep filled the moats around her heart, the ones that she's quite sure about to come under assault, she finishes with, "You'd slept with the women who had been responsible for the loss of your beloved wife and the loss of your son's mother? That's what you mean to say, right?"

His eyes close for a moment. "You had her executed."

"I did," she confirms. "Or at least I would have. But I had a lot of people executed, Robin. It was…I was the Evil Queen. That was what I did."

"I know," he nods. "I do know…I do remember the nobility of our world and how easy it was for the lords and kings tehre to view life as...disposable."

"Robin, just say what you're thinking. Stop…stop beating around the bush on your feelings and just tell me that you really do see me as the monster that I am and then we can finally dispense with the rest of this…unpleasantness."

"That's what this is to you? Because I think we both know that you feel far differently than that. I know you and I know what you look like when you're hurting. I know what you look like when you're destroying yourself with guilt."

"Does it matter if I am?"

"It does to me."

She swallows and though she doesn't pull her eyes away from him - won't ever do such a thing - she starts to back away from him just so she can put a little bit of distance between the two of them. She can feel the anxiety of her baby again and feel her unhappiness at being unable to calm her mother.

"I was right the first time," she tells him, her voice a strange angry growl, rising up as her emotions and the darkness that's been stowed away inside of her for the last five months starts to bleed out on him. "You don't know me as well as you think you do. You keep saying that you think I've changed and that you know it because…because you were once someone different but you weren't someone who…you weren't the Evil Queen. And she's not as gone as everyone wants her to be. As I want her to be. Because if she were truly gone, I wouldn't have considered ways to kill Marian when she first came back."

"What stopped you?" Robin queries and that's not at all what Regina had been expecting him to ask; she'd anticipated either revulsion or another one of his attempts to tell her that she's a different woman now and it's okay.

But it's not okay because she can still remember the bloodlust she'd felt and how pure it had been and she remembers wanting Marian dead and gone.

"The Mirror - Sidney - showed me what happened in the past. I saw Marian. She saw me as who I was," Regina replies finally. "She looked into my eyes and she faced me and saw that I was nothing. And she was right. She is right."

"She might have been then, but she's not anymore," Robin insists. "I know the woman that I…slept with." He scowls darkly at that phrasing. "I know the woman that I feel in love with. And the other one might still be part of you, but the one who chose not to kill is the one who I see before me now."

Regina starts to reply to him, starts to tell him that he's a fool for such naive thoughts (and she doesn't know why she's fighting him so hard here except for the fact that she needs to know if he really means all of this and if he's willing to fight to convince her, then maybe he does) but the moment she opens her mouth, she feels a terrible pain in her belly and doubles over.

"Regina?" When she doesn't respond, he calls for her again, more frantic now.

"I'm fine…the baby…we're fine," she replies, forcing herself straight again just as he approaches. Though she's making it clear that she wants him to stay away, she can't stop herself from leaning against the wall, her hand trembling as she rubs one over her stomach and feels for the normal kicks; they're there and frantic and though she hates that her daughter is so anxious, at least it means that she's otherwise all right. "But maybe it's time for us to stop lying to ourselves about this, Robin. If this is something between us, it will always be -"

"It doesn't have to be."

"Doesn't it? Marian in the past or in the present, she's between us even when you're not with her. Because I took her from you and you chose her over me. You chose a code of honor over me and…and I know who you are, I know what it means to you, but…but you still chose it. That code was still more important to you than I was. And I don't know how to forgive you for that."

Her words came out in an angry rush and for a moment, she seems surprised because she's been trying so hard to keep everything locked inside of her and to be mature and control everything, but her heart is raw and pained and she loves this man so much but he needs to know that there's pain to share.

And well, he had asked her to be honest.

"Mom, is everything all right?" Henry says suddenly as he pushes the door open and steps in, his eyes tracking to his mother who has quickly pulled herself together so as to disguise her distress and discomfort from her son. His face hardens the moment he sees Robin. "What are you doing here?"

"Henry, it's fine," Regina assures him. "We're just talking."

"You're upset," he replies, still glaring at Robin.

"That's my fault," Robin confesses. "I pushed her too hard."

"Then you should probably leave."

"I will, but…."Robin looks over at Regina and smiles slightly, softly. "I love you," he says again, his voice quiet. "You're the woman that I want to be with. Even knowing everything that I do. Even knowing the past and the things that occurred because of who you once were. Perhaps if I hadn't spent a year with you while your son was gone, I might feel differently - and a very large part of me thinks that I probably should feel differently and I've been beating myself up because it seems inexplicable that I could possibly forgive you for this - but I did and I do because I fell madly in love with that woman who I was with - the one that pissed me off in every way that she could because her heart was broken. I know her. I know you. I know what you're capable of, Regina, and I love you all the same. But I understand if you're not willing to try again. I would certainly have earned that by choosing my honor over my love for you. I can't apologize for it nearly as much as I probably should because in the end, my honor is part of who I am just as she is part who you are. But I can apologize every day that you'll allow me to do so for having hurt you."

His words wash over her like cold water and for a moment, they just stare at each other. Until she shakes her head, bright tears gleaming in her eyes.

"I can't," she whispers.

"I understand." He offers her a sad smile and then turns to leave the office.

"Wait." She looks at Henry and then back at Robin and then she's crossing the room and everything is going insane inside of her but the only thing that seems to make sense - the only thing that seems to calm the child inside of her and the aching in her heart - is when she places both hands on his face and leans in and kiss Robin with as much passion as she can manage.

Which is a fairly considerable amount.

He melts into the contact and he thinks that he could stay here forever like this, but as kisses go, it's a short one and then she's pulling away from him.

"You may think that you've forgiven me, but I'm not…it doesn't work that easily for me. I'm not the good person that you are, Robin, and I don't forgive as easily as you do. I'm not ready yet." He starts to speak but then she's shaking her head again to silence him. "But I am willing to try to start again."

"What does that mean?"

"It means we start over and we…we see if there's anything to build on."

Henry steps forward then. "It means if you hurt her again -"

"Henry," she says softly.

It's her way of telling him to go back upstairs, but he doesn't move.

Because there are tears on his mom's face and he's sick of her being hurt.

By all of the people she loves.

Including himself.

So this time, he's going to stand beside her and protect her.

"I will do everything in my power to never hurt her again," Robin promises.

"But that's not how relationships work. Even I know that," Regina states.

"Even I know that," Henry echoes. "But you can try harder. Both of them - both my mom and my baby sister - deserve that much. Those are my conditions."

Robin looks over at Regina. "So then coffee tomorrow morning?"

"Tea," she corrects. "As…as friends. I think we need to…build from there."

"As friends," Robin agrees. And then to Henry, "And I accept your terms. If your mother does, of course. She's hardly what I'd call a damsel in distress." He smiles slightly when he says this, knowing that the only reason Regina isn't annoyed by this deal between Henry and Robin is because it's her litte boy protecting her and it's impossible for her to view such a thing negatively.

"Tea first," Regina says and will offer no promises beyond that. Because she can still remember him saying that he had to choose honor above her.

And while she can't understand how he could be willing to forgive what she'd done - she can't comprehend how he can look past the monster that she was (and still believes herself to be) - she knows that she needs to be the person he wants to be with completely and fully or this won't work.

She's told herself not to be selfish but right now she needs to be.

For herself. For Henry. And for the baby girl who is now happily kicking away inside of her that will grow up with a loving father regardless of whether or not her parents get their happily ever after with each other.

That doesn't stop her from touching Robin again.

"You are all right?" he asks. "You looked like you were -"

She cuts him off before he can worry Henry, "She has opinions," she says for the third time as she takes his hand and guides it down to her belly so that the baby can reassure him herself. "She doesn't like me upset." She'd told Archie the same thing and it occurs to her that she needs to go speak to Rumple about the magic that the baby is exhibiting but that's for later.

For now, there's just she and Robin (and Henry) and this quiet moment.

"Sometimes it's good to let the bad things out," Robin suggests. "I don't think you, me - us, any of us - were ever meant to keep everything bottled up."

"Maybe not, but most people aren't me and they don't have the well-earned terrible reputation that I do. She may be me but I don't want to be her."

She steps away from him and he knows that this is the end of this night. If he'd been hoping to reassure her again, she's not going to give him that chance. Honestly, he'd expected this evening to go much worse than this, but now that it's gotten better than he's anticipated, he's finding it hard to leave.

But then he thinks of tea and smiles to himself.

Because it's a step somewhere.

Somewhere better.


She's waiting for him at the counter of the shop when he steps out and to say that he's not at all thrilled to see her is an understatement. "Your Majesty."

"Our deal holds, yes?"

"Good morning to you as well."

"We made a deal. Is it still intact?"

"I believe I took your magic from you as you asked."

"And I promised you a favor in response, but the conditions of that favor stated that you couldn't ever go after the child within me, correct?"

"As long as you adhere to the original conditions of our deal."

"I expect you to keep your word, Rumple."

"I always do. What is this about, Regina?"

There's a pause and then a weary sigh. "My daughter has magic."

"Ah." He shrugs. "I thought she might. Your mother had magic and she passed it down to you and your sister. It makes sense that you would pass it along the line as well and being that the baby's father is your soulmate -"

She waves her hand impatiently, not willing to speak to him about Robin at all. "I need to know if the magic is of any danger to her or to myself."

"You tell me. Have there been problems?"

"She can sedate me."

He laughs at that. "About time someone could."

"It's not funny."

"It actually is. But if that's the extent of her magic -"

"When I got extremely upset last night, I felt for a moment like she was in deep distress and pain. She responded badly to me being…unhappy."

"White light," Rumple notes.

"What?"

"Empathy, Regina. I know you read about it during your studies."

"Yes," she admits, thinking about days long ago. She'd learned about all the different kinds of white light but only as much as they could assist her and then she'd moved past them to the kind of magic that could destroy.

The kinds that could give her a chance at getting her revenge on Snow.

Now, that all seems so foolish but then so very much of her past does.

"Your daughter seem to have an extraordinary empathetic touch from even inside the womb. Empathetic magic is not unheard of by any stretch but -" Rumple laughs again. "I think if you were to tell our fairy friends that the Evil Queen has a child within her with strong white light capabilities, they'd probably all die on the spot." He tilts his head like he's considering it.

"Rumple," she says softly, no joke in her voice, just terror. "It's me."

"And you're afraid of your inability to control your emotions."

She looks back at him, still unwilling to give him too much. He might be her former teacher and her mentor but he's hurt her terribly in the past and providing him with ammunition to do it again would be absurdly foolish.

"I can't bind an unborn child's magic," he tells her.

"That's not what I was asking for."

"Try meditation," he suggests.

"I just need to know that I'm not a threat to her. That I can't hurt her."

She's fighting back tears that she tells herself are just hormones causing extreme emotions, but suddenly the terror is very real and her daughter is reacting and then there's pain streaking through her as everything spins.

She can't be getting one thing back - can't be getting the chance at love and a future back - all to lose everything else; she can't lose this child because -

"Four decades of knowing you, Regina, and you have still never had a greater enemy than yourself," Rumple says softly, suddenly at her side, a hand lightly settled on her forearm as he helps her sit down in a wooden chair. "Breathe."

She feels a cup of tea get pushed into her hands and then there's Belle kneeling in front of her and Rumple is watching curiously from beside her.

"The only threat to your child is your iwn fears," Rumple tells her. "Control those, control your doubts and your baby is in absolutely no danger."

She looks up at him, fear still showing in her eyes. "You're sure?"

"He's sure," Belle says. "I've done a good amount of reading on white magic - mostly while I was looking for a way to defeat Zelena. As you well know, Regina, empathetic ability is a very reactive kind of magic. Your daughter is connected to you and not just in a physical sense. Rumple's suggestion of meditation isn't a bad one, but mostly, you need to try to keep yourself calm and centered. If you can, the baby can't hurt you and more importantly -"

"I can't hurt her."

Belle nods kindly at her.

"Calm and centered," Regina says. She looks up at Rumple. "Story of my life."

He smirks at her.

Like doesn't he just know it.


She steps out of Rumple's shop, her mind already whirling with the need to reach out to Archie and see if he's willing to meet with her more frequently. She expects that as she gets closer to her due date - and the doctor at the hospital in Bangor still isn't entirely confident despite all the precautions and efforts that are being put in that she will make it to term - that her stress levels will most certainly rise. Add in this complicated "new" situation with Robin and well, calm has never been something that's come easily to her anyway.

But for the last five months, she's been keeping herself under control.

She can do it for a few more months.

She can do anything for this child.

Slowly, she crosses the street, pulling her coat around a belly that seems to be getting larger every single night. It's starting to get uncomfortable to walk and she fears (mildly) that if she looks at her reflection, she'll be waddling.

Which is something she can't even begin to handle thinking about.

Snow White waddles. Regina Mills does not.

Speaking of Snow, Regina thinks as she enters the diner, there she is.

Sitting across from a sleepy looking Robin, talking his ear off.

They both look up at Regina and smile and it's so very strange to her still to have anyone actually happy to see her. But then Snow ruins all of the good feelings of this by saying in her brightest and most cheerful voice, "When you have a moment, I was hoping we could talk about your baby shower."

She thinks she hears Robin laugh.

He doesn't have a clue what baby showers in this world are like.

But the look on her face - the pure horror - that pretty much says it all.

"Tea," Robin offers once the moment has passed and Snow is wandering over to say hello to one of her creepy little men. He holds a steaming cup up.

A small smile spreads across her lips and she thinks she feels the baby give her a small thump - something that oddly feels like "go on and get to it."

Because yeah, this situation is complicated and new, but he's still Robin.

Regina sits down and takes the cup from him.

If their hands happen to touch for just the briefest of moments, well that's just good morning.

TBC...