Disclaimer: For my disclaimer today, I present-a haiku.

I do not own things.

Such as Fire Emblem and

Phineas and Ferb

...

While Chrom and Nowi trained James for his match with Vaike, Aversa visited Lyon at the Slushy Dog kiosk.

"Ooh, I seem to be receiving a call...whoops, my camera went off!"

"Aversa," said an exasperated Lyon. "No offense, but there's a line." He point to the large crowd of people behind her.

"Oh. In that case, I'll take a small Slushy Burger and a Diet Slick."

"There is no such thing as a Diet Slick."

"Ok, what do you have as Diet?"

"We have Diet Professer Cola."

At that moment, Sully came up to the Slushy Dog patrons and handed them flyers announcing the "Brawl at the Mall".

"Brawl at the Mall. 11:45, today," she declared, handing one to Aversa. She looked at it in indignation.

"What?! James and his friends are so going to get it!" As she stormed off, Terrence and Pedro started to have a delightful conversation.

"What is with people's obsession with diet soda? If it's about caffeine, decaf versions of most sodas exist! In fact, Slick, Slicer, Surf Foamer, and most other lemon-lime sodas don't have any caffeine added in the first place! Is it about sugar? Diet soft drinks usually use fake sugar that's just as unhealthy and even less sweet! In fact..." He paused for a moment, then turned to his friend. "You know, I notice that you haven't told me to shut up yet."

"Meh, I'm with you on this one."

...

In the mall parking lot, Chrom and Miriel were using James's blueprints to build the ring and stands for James and Vaike's match when Aversa stomped up to them.

"What do you think you're doing?! You can't just build a boxing ring in the middle of the mall parking lot!"

"Technically, it's a thumb-wrestling ring-"

"I don't care what it is! I'm going to tell my mother and all of you will be busted!" Aversa sprinted to the book club's meeting room. "Mother, come quick!"

"Not now, dear, we're about to talk about the part where the girl forgives the guy for the cliche misunderstanding...which is technically grammatically incorrect, as the word "cliche" is exclusively a noun, not an adjective..." Aversa groaned. When Lyria started talking about grammar, there was no stopping her until she was finished.

"I need proof...wait a minute, the flyer!" She checked her pockets, realized that she had thrown it away, facepalmed, and dashed out of the room.

"I hear they're adapting this book into a movie," mentioned Tiki, another member of the club.

"Really?"

"Yes, it's supposed to be out this summer."

"Well, I just might see it! I just hope they don't give it a new name, like "That Darn Fiancé" or something cheesy like that."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous, that would never happen!"

...

Meanwhile, Agent P sneaked into the abandoned factory where Dr. Riffrat was supposed to be hiding. Inside, a cast-iron cage hung above a big red "X" and a slice of cake. He rolled his eyes glanced around, trying to find his nemesis. To his surprise, a large, red and white (hollow) cylinder of wax fell on him as Gangrel chuckled, revealing himself.

"Ha! How do you like being a candle, Perry the Drakopus? Or should I say, Perry the Candlepuss?!" Nobody laughed. "Yeah, I shouldn't quit my day job," the evil doctor mentioned offhandedly, while a robotic appendage lifted the animal agent off the ground.

"Anyway, the reason the candle you're trapped in is being put on top of a giant cake," Riffrat explained, simultaneous with the candle Agent P was trapped in was being put onto a giant cake. "Is that today is my birthday!" Perry struggled to escape his trap, but to no avail.

"Sadly, my birthday was always the lousiest day of the year...it all began on the day before my 6th birthday..." The doctor drifted into one of his famous tragic backstories.

"I was talking to my adopted brother Jeff about my plans." Within the flashback, a young Gangrel told his brother, "I'm gonna have balloons, and streamers, and invite all my friends!"

"But didn't you uninvite all of them for various minor offenses back in September?"

After a brief pause, he replied, "I don't know any of those big words at the end."

"After my sixth birthday party, at which nobody showed up, my parents wouldn't let me have another one. They said it was 'too much hassle' Well, I have invented a device that completely eliminates the hassle! Behold!" Gangrel shouted as he pushed a button on his remote, revealing his -inator. "My Birthday-Part-Unhasslinator! See this big screen? Anybody who sees it will be mind controlled to do whatever shows up on it! Sayyy...slap yourself!" He typed something on his remote, the words appeared on the screen, and Perry's arm broke through the giant candle and slapped his face.

"Huh..." Dr. Riffrat thought aloud. "Apparently, the physical capabilities of the subject of the Unhasslinator exceeds that of their normal selves. Who knew? Anyway, there are "speed-control" buttons for the most hassle-y birthday jobs: Decorate, Invite Guests, and of course, Clean Up! Anyway," he concluded as he climbed a ladder up to the top of his -inator. "As they say in Mexico, 'No party, no glory!' ...They do say that in Mexico, right?

...

Author's Note: Sorry for getting this in so late, guys. I was planning on writing this chapter yesterday night, but a family friend was visiting, and I stayed up later than normal. Thanks for understanding!

Sincerely~

GravityEmblem