A/N Thank you to all those who reviewed! I'll get the next chapter up while I'm procrastinating things, hehe. Timeskip's here too. Enjoy!

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Whammy's House is pretty quiet at midnight.

"L, are you certain our actions today are vital?"

One sugar cube after another disappears into a cup of coffee. "Mello is the type of child who desperately needs a hero, a standard with which to measure himself. Following the murder of his father, the disappearance of his brother, and the suicide of his mother, he has chosen to fixate himself with me. This is a natural reaction for most orphans brought to Whammy's House, but Mello's ambitions root deeper and reach farther. He will never stop pushing himself until he is guaranteed my title, because to be the next L for certain means he is the best." Fingers awkwardly hold a spoon to stir. "I have seen worse levels of obsession, Watari, and this is the only way I know how to curtail Mello's before he gets out of hand. I do not wish for another B."

"And Matt?"

"Having him improve your systems from here will free up your schedule to focus on other things. Matt will take care of Whammy's security, of that I am sure. He has a mischievous streak, yes, but I am certain he will not deal any severe damage. He is far too lazy. He has his pride as the top tech student, and a passion for these things. It is also an excellent learning opportunity."

"But why did you allow this in the first place? He has full access to the system; he can know anything about any student in this orphanage. You even had him find out the proprietor of this orphanage is me."

"Matt can guard secrets. I am almost 100% sure." Pale lips sip the sludge-like concoction in the cup. "And I am also almost 100% sure he will need this entry to the system in the future. Let him be."

I watch this all from the safety of my room. This new laptop's working fine, though I think during my next tech class – since I think Watari said I didn't have to attend any longer, thank Zelda – I'll spruce it up more. The whole of Whammy's House is at my fingertips, including the little side office where L and Watari are now.

Is this what power-hungry dictator-types feel like when they finally know the country is wrapped around their pinky? Because man it feels awesome! I actually did a little celebratory jig a while ago to the theme of Lord of the Rings, which really made me feel good and – anyway, moving on.

This revelation is a little overwhelming, to say the least. I'd found it odd that Watari gave me free access to the house security without batting an eye; hell, I'm only 11. To see and hear L have such faith in me is incredibly weighty – what if I cock up? I may be good but I'm nothing exceptional – but it brings a goofy grin to my face. I'll have to admit, it's an honor to be trusted this much by L, to have this entire orphanage in my keeping. Though I bet Watari's still going to keep tabs on the system and improve whatever I do and make sure I'm not sending his security to the dogs. It's his beloved orphanage after all. Or, one of them, anyway.

I'd come up with several theories myself but not this. I wonder why L thinks I'll need this system in the future. And why he's so sure of me. And I wonder… Actually I think I'll stop wondering and sleep.

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I actually feel a little bad, not telling Matt what L told me, but L said that I couldn't tell anyone the story until… well, apparently I'd know. Last night's encounter with Matt in his room was awkward to say the least, though it seemed he'd had some secret rendezvous with Watari himself.

scheiss, that sounded disgusting.

If I had a boner right now, that thought would have killed it instantly.

The next few years pass by almost normally. I study my ass off in Matt's room and still can't beat Near. I lead the profiling and special cases, and in ammunitions come in close second to Matt, who, with being placed in advanced-advanced placement all on his own, lets us eat his technological dust, but overall Near's still first. Between the three of us we rule the house academe – Linda doesn't even come close to Matt's score, no matter how little Matt tries to actually maintain it – and we've each got our mini-domains as well. Near monopolizes the toy chest, Matt can program circles around your ass and kick anyone's butt at any game, and I…well Matt keeps trying to get me to keep my anger in check. But I've far outstripped the red belt ranks I had in martial arts from before Whammy's. I've even far outstripped my sensei. In my defense, whopping ass is a useful skill.

Then came in the case that changed the orphanage: Kira. Even all the way in England, in a small, exclusive orphanage, we could feel the shudder that rocked the world as a huge wave of dying criminals crashed onto it. Deaths by heart attacks with no explanations – no motive, no discernable causes, no nothing – and the world's police force was paralyzed, unable to stop it. We all knew it was only a matter of time before L stepped in. This was the kind of case he could never ignore.

And step in he did, but not before coming to Whammy's one last time. He had me, Near and Matt called into Roger's office. I still remember the sight of him, standing by the window, hunched over and barefoot, thumb rubbing his lower lip. Panda eyes gazing out into the distance, seeing something none of the rest of us could. The great detective L.

"I am leaving," was all he'd said, gesturing to three letters on the table. One envelope had an N, one an M, and strangely, one a J. He'd nodded at Near, patted my head – I almost squealed; why do I have to be such a girl sometimes – and beckoned Matt to follow him. I'd never seen Near show much emotion, but this act was enough for the shock to register on his face. Not that I was much better off. We were the top successors – what the flying fuck did L want with Matt?

Apparently Matt had known – knew – because he'd followed L, picking up the envelope with a J on it. Watari had led us out of the room, each of us clutching our letters, instructing us not to open them until the time was right. I made my way back to my room – the room I shared with Matt; Roger had pulled a house exception and stuck us together since Matt was so good at calming me down and heaven knows the orphanage needed me calm – in total confusion. And panic. Lots of panic. Because the way L had said his goodbye…made it seem like he might not come back.

I didn't know how to feel about that. Still don't.

Matt had come back to the room an hour after I had, silent, his expression not the usual one of boredom. There had been a seriousness to him, and something else I hadn't been able to see behind the goggles. But he'd said nothing and so I'd said nothing, and we continued from there as if nothing had happened – except the secrets between us had grown. We were close but nothing special; I had other friends and Matt did as he pleased. But this time we knew the other had secrets and we knew they could not be told.

Awareness does strange things to a human psyche, or so I've learned in psychology and profiling classes.

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The day "Lind L. Taylor" posed a challenge to Kira over the television was by far the scariest day of my life. My father's death enraged me, my mother's death left me numb, my brother's disappearance could eat itself, but L so blatantly flaunting his anonymity like that on national television shook me to my core. It was brave, it was reckless, it was sheer genius and it had scared the shit out of me, because for a second I was scared, so scared, that right then and there, Kira, whose modus operandi we had no clue about, would win.

When Lind L. Taylor toppled from his chair it was as if I was feeling his heart attack, the way something squeezed in my gut. And then that familiar, distorted voice rang out, challenging Kira. Kill me, kill me, kill me.

I was so relieved that L was alive that I went and beat up three punching bags and this unfortunate kid in the training room to expend my joy.

The case progressed and the tension at Whammy's House increased. The very fact that L was under threat from someone who could kill just with a fucking name and face was bringing us to the brink. Even with all his precautions and pseudonyms and safeguards, L could go at any moment, leaving behind an orphanage full of children trained to be him. And while we strove to be that Gothic letter, fought among each other to try and prove ourselves worthy, I don't think any of us seriously considered what would happen to us if he did die. And what would happen after someone took his place.

I didn't – don't – want to consider it. We were all here for the sole purpose of impressing him, making him want us. You'd be taking away our purpose in life if you took him. We were geniuses but we weren't ready.

Watari had asked me and Near to keep tabs on the Kira case – gather information, hunt for clues, observe the deaths and broadcasts. I did this religiously, poring over case notes and news articles like they were a bible. I don't know what L told Matt, but as the months went by he disappeared more and more frequently, eventually even staying out of the room overnight. It didn't bother me so much (it meant I could study without constant take that, bitch! and yeah, you like a chainsaw up your ass? in my ear, stupid gamer talk – why do people feel the need to fucking cuss out characters on-screen, anyway?), but it did have me wondering.

"Out for another late night, Matty?" This was one and a half months ago, when my curiosity hit its boiling point and bubbled over. I'd tried for more subtle routes, but Matt insisted on being secretive and it was killing me. This had to do with L, I knew it. Matt knew how important successorship was to me and he wasn't telling me anything.

My sense of entitlement gets the better of me, sometimes.

"Probably." He'd picked up his laptop and left without another word.

Three weeks ago I tried to tail him, only to get caught. (I swear, that kid has the hearing of a bat – my sock feet can't make that much noise. I didn't even fucking take a chocolate bar with me!) One week later I tailed him again and succeeded. He'd been heading to the room at the back of the tech hall students weren't allowed to go in. He seemed to key something in – shit, was he hacking the Whammy systems now? – and went inside.

Now, everything about the situation was screaming MATT IS FUCKING DOING SOMETHING AGAINST THE FUCKING RULES OF THIS FUCKING HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT but then again, this was the tech department. I padded as quietly as I could down the hall, toward the door. I was right; there was a keypad-and-lock system. I couldn't get in without a code, and trying arbitrarily would be pointless since a wrong code could trigger an alarm. I could wait for Matt to get out but that might take ages and he wouldn't be very happy. Sighing, I returned to the room.

Except now he's just left and I find I just can't let it go, no matter how much I tell myself to leave well alone. Matt doesn't pry into my Kira research, I shouldn't pry into his…whatever this is. But he knows, he goddamn well knows I spend my nights trying to dig up anything about this psychopathic Japanese mass-murderer, but I know squat about what he does except it's got to do with computers. He could have a gaming sanctuary in there or a mass orgy and I wouldn't know anything.

"Scheisskopf!" I crumple another candy wrapper savagely in my fist. That's the fifth chocolate bar this hour, but I'm just so exasperated. I can't focus on this criminology paper, I can't read the latest article about Kira worshippers, and I can't bloody well even eat my chocolate properly because the snap vaguely reminds me of the clacks of an Xbox controller. Snarling, I shove all my books off the desk (creating a nice, big mess that I will undoubtedly have Matt clean up for me tomorrow, sedentary gamer body be damned) and fling open the door. Little bastard's got something and I want to know what it is. I'm the one in the fucking first successor position (Near can go fuck himself with a robot). I should be doing the secret L-related things. Matt is just bloody third in rankings and the second successor and – oh, just fuck him.

When I get to the door he's been hiding behind I'm fuming so much I don't bother to be quiet. Instead, I hammer on the door, creating nice loud bangs that are sure to be heard all over the house. I don't bother yelling; he's sure to know it's me. Still, it takes a while before the door finally opens.

"I don't know what the bloody fuck you're playing at, Matt, but if you don't tell me what's going on now I'll-"

The rest of my sentence is lost the minute I catch the expression on his face. Matt is normally an uncaring guy; the way he looks suggests he's bored with the real world since the virtual one can offer so much more. He slips sometimes, loses a little of his composure, but he only snaps with good reason – and even then, it's only happened twice. I've seen him laugh, I've seen him screech in triumph, I've seen him tired and I've seen him try and tolerate all the juvenile stupidity around him, but I've never seen him pale and shaking slightly and – is he hyperventilating?

"Matt?" I kinda forget why I'm angry; he just looks so…shaken. Tentatively I reach out to him (but not without sneaking a glimpse at what I've wanted to see these past months – a room full of the best technology the world has to offer; no wonder Matt spends all his time here) but the movement doesn't bring a reaction from him. In fact, it's not until my hand is around his arm and I jiggle his shoulder a bit that he snaps out of his daze.

"Me – Mello?" He looks at me as if seeing me for the first time, as if I'm some alien species come to life out of one of his precious games. I want to make a snappy comeback to that but it's Matt, he's not normally like this, so I force myself to swallow my annoyance.

"What's with you?" I search his face, his body language, but all they're telling me is he's shocked and confused and maybe…maybe a little scared. Not for the first time I want to yank those dumbass goggles off his face so I could just see him for once – all of him – but I think right now he might react like a frightened rabbit or something.

"Mello," he repeats, and finally moves. One hand comes up and brushes against my hair; his fingers graze my jaw. Then he pushes me aside, hard, so much that I topple and have to catch myself on the door frame. When I've regained my balance and my focus I see him sprinting down the hall with a speed I didn't think was possible for Matt. Not unless there was a free-for-all at the gaming store or Squall Leonhart suddenly appeared before him.

He makes it back to the room before I do, something I didn't expect would happen even with the head start he got. He's locked the door; I can hear shuffling and thumps inside. "Matt, let me in."

There's no response. I don't even have the room key on me, didn't think I'd need it when I'd left. I settle for rattling the knob. "Gottverdammt, open the damn door, Matt!"

There's a loud crack but still the door remains locked. "Matt, I swear, if you do not let me in now I will fucking break every stupid gaming system you have in there when I do find a way in and then you'd better run for your worthless life because you will be next-"

The door unlocks with a soft click and opens a few millimeters. I only see the room through the crack, the room that's eerily silent. I push the door open, an ominous dread settling into my gut, and with good reason The room is devoid of life.

No Matt. His bed's a mess, his gaming systems littered all over the floor, a sure sign that something's wrong – Matt handles them as if they were gossamer-thin glass. All his plug-in consoles are there but the portables – a Gameboy, a PSP and a DS, all of which usually reside on his dresser – are absent. He's left most of his computers but the laptop he brought back with him that day I was with L is gone. The closet doors are open, hangers and pieces of clothing strewn haphazardly on the floor, but not enough for me not to see that a good number are missing. His sneakers are under the bed, but his boots aren't. His bean bag is all squished up in a corner. The window by his bed – the one that opens to the tree, the one he never unfastens because it brings him closer to nature than he'd like – is wide open.

The November wind rustles through the leaves and brings a cold into the room that chills me to the bone. No Matt.

I cross the room in a stupor, uncertain if I'm really seeing what I'm seeing. The emotional side of me is reeling but the logical side is telling me that Matt ran in here, packed up whatever he thought he couldn't do without, and upped and left via the window. There aren't any screams of agony so I know he made it down the tree okay. I stepped over some rope and tape and weights when I entered the room, which is probably how Matt unlocked the door from the inside. I climb onto his bed, glance out the window. Some branches are snapped, others bent in odd ways. There's a small scattering of twigs, branches and leaves at the foot of the tree.

No Matt.

Why the bloody flying fucking hell do I even give a damn if he's gone?

The first thing to hit the wall is his beloved fucking PS3, that stupid gift from L for being the goddamn first successor. Next is the Xbox, the one we played together that one night, cracking open with a satisfying snap. Then his precious Macbook. His desktop's CPU. I kick the TV to the floor. Stomp all over the CD cases. Then I begin to tear his notebooks apart, the doodles and lack of notes sickening. All the reminders of how this goddamn boy was better than me, how he was goddamn underperforming, how I tried to be his friend and he went and fucked me over and just left without me even knowing why-

…hold on.

There's something red on my pillow, making a tiny dent, holding down a slip of paper. I don't need to be the genius I am to know it's from Matt. Part of me wants to break the thing, toss it around just like I did everything else he owns – but this thing is so obviously for me. Unlike the hurried mess he left behind, this is very deliberate.

Calm down and think, blondie. I can hear his voice in my head, feel those solid arms around me, restraining me – and holding me up.

If shoulder angels and devils existed, now would be the perfect time for them to appear.

Goddamn you, Stripes. I walk over to my bed and pick it up.

To my surprise, it's a rosary. An actual, Hail-Mary-beads, Jesus-on-the-cross rosary. This is more than weird, because Matt loathes religion with an intensity that rivals my hatred for my brother. It's long enough to go over my head, has red beads – a few of which are chipped – and seems rather old. Why Matt owns a rosary is already beyond me; why he wants me to have it is just… "What the fuck is this?"

I snatch up the note, hoping it'll provide some clarity. Matt's chicken scratch handwriting is made even more illegible by his rush.

Mello-

Something happened. Can't tell you what but I'm sure you'll find out yourself. I'm leaving so I can't be picked and so…well, let's just see. Give Roger the finger for me when you find out, yeah?

By now you've probably destroyed my consoles beyond repair, smashed my laptops, ripped my books and basically turned my side of the room into a hellish mess. You can't ever control your temper when things don't go your way. But that's okay. I took the essentials with me. Just don't slash the bean bag, I'd like to have something to come back to.

Sorry I left without a proper goodbye. I can't say for myself why I did. Spend the next weeks kicking Near's butt for me, kay? Without me around you'll be first in ammo class, should be good for something. Try not to cause too much damage before you get out yourself. Keep the rosary; when the time comes, you'll know how to find me.

See you when I do, Mihael.

-Matt

I might as well have read his trigonometry notes; this note offers just as much an explanation. The fuck does he mean, something happened? Why couldn't he have told me outright? Or, fuck if I know, left me cryptic clues in his goodbye note? Spelled it out with the first letter of every sentence or misspelled things on purpose or anything. And leaving so I can't be picked – picked for what? He's L's second successor; with me and Near around, he won't ever be picked. Unless – unless that's what L told him that day he left? That Matt was first – Matt was his choice? I'm leaving so I can't be picked… Fuck – does that mean L's… L's…

No. We'd know, they'd tell us, Roger would announce it, Watari would come here. There is no bloody fucking way in the depths of hell that Matt would be the only one to know.

Try not to cause too much damage before you get out yourself. See you when I do. He makes it sound like he knows I'm going to follow him out there. And that it's going to be soon. But I don't have any damn reason to leave. How the bleeding fuck am I going to be L if I'm not in Whammy's?

Keep the rosary. You'll know how to find me. He left me a rosary. A goddamn – hehe – rosary. How is this silly religious item supposed to help me find him in the future? Is it going to magically light up like that ring in that weird movie they played once in the common room, the one about the walking castle? Is it going to emit beeps that get faster the closer I get to Matt? Does it unlock something?

I get more and more incensed the more ridiculous my thoughts get. "Well fuck you, Matt." I chuck the rosary toward my desk where it disappears into my books and papers. Just like Matt disappeared into the night.

The room is an absolute mess around me but I don't give a shit. I don't even care about the big test tomorrow or the fact that for the first time in years, Matt was going to miss my birthday. I just want to out this…this…anger somehow. It's too late to enter the PhysEd department, even if I could pick locks, and the room will just remind me of Matt. God, everything would remind me of Matt. Matt.

For the first time since our year-long fight, there is no Matt.

I feel like a porcelain doll haphazardly glued together whose adhesive is finally cracking and drying out and I don't even goddamn fucking shit know why.

In the end I just curl up on his Pokeball beanbag and drift into a half-sleep, clutching his note in my fist, surrounded by the mess I made and no Matt.

It doesn't occur to me until the morning after that Matt knew my real name. See you when I do, Mihael.

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A/N Yes, I'm just going to leave it there. This chapter's already pretty long, anyway (haha). I hope you guys like where I took the story! Sorry I didn't dwell on the Kira case so much. The way I figure it, the part where the Whammy kids get involved is much more important to the Matt/Mello story then when the Kira case was just getting rolling. Though man, I loved that part in the series, the whole Light vs. L thing. Light's potato chip moment? Priceless.

Again, R&R, please and thank you!