Authors Note:
If you haven't read "Confrontation: Rewrite" yet, then I suggest you do, as the old chapter didn't make much sense.
I closed the door, leaving but a small gap between the wall using a small grey door stopper. Turning around, I was met with a frowning Hikigaya.
Normally, frowning when someone leaves the door slightly open is an indication of perverted thoughts, but Hikigaya wouldn't possibly be thinking of something like that after getting past my parents.
"Don't misunderstand, I don't think you're going to do something, it's just…" I coughed. "My parents…"
"Oh… yeah, that makes sense." Hikigaya was seated in the stool, his school issued book bag resting lazily against its legs. His hands rested on his lap.
His frown disappeared, and his facial expression returned to a more relaxed state.
I sat down in my own chair, my arms and legs crossed. "So, how did you get permission? What did my parents do to you, and why are you here?" I asked inquisitively.
"Well, I, uh," He cleared his throat, "I heard you were sick, and Yuigahama gave me your phone number and email address..."
Yuigahama? So Hikigaya hadn't planned to come alone. What was she doing that made her decline Hikigaya's invitation?
"I messaged you, but your sister replied instead."
A shiver went up my spine, and my phone was in my hands in the blink of an eye.
Sure! I asked mom and dad and they said it was fine, Hachiman!
The warmth from earlier returned in a much more intense manner. My finger scrolled further through the conversation.
Does Yukinoshita know that I'm coming over?
Which Yukinoshita?
You know which Yukinoshita I'm referring to.
No, I don't. Please tell me.
Your sister.
You're no fun, Hikigaya-kun.
I coughed rapidly into the crook of my arm.
"You okay?" Hikigaya leaned closer, his hand hesitantly stretched outwards.
I put my own hand up. "Y-Yes, I'm fine. Just give me a moment." He nodded and returned to a straight posture.
The coughing subsided, and I finished reading the conversation history.
"You have my homework?"
"Yeah, hold on." He leaned downwards and unzipped his bag, pulling out a dozen or so papers which were clipped together.
I felt a headache beginning to appear, though I ignored it.
"Thank you." I took ahold of the papers, careful not to brush his fingers with my own. I turned towards my desk and began to scroll through the assignments, sorting them by subject and placing them into stacks.
"My parents. Did they speak with you?" I asked, still organizing my assignments.
He chuckled. "Yeah, they don't seem to be very fond of me."
"Well, what did you expect? You're a complete stranger to them even though you were hit by our limousine. I'm surprised they even let you visit me." I looked through the small gap between the door and wall, searching for unwelcome eyes and ears that might be leering into our conversation. I was met with emptiness, so I returned my gaze to my desk.
"I think your sister actually spoke to them about me. It's disturbing, but it might've helped me in the end, so I can't really complain."
"I see…"
Nee-san? Why did she feel the need to speak to them about Hikigaya? Has she been manipulating things without my or Hikigaya's knowledge?
"Is giving me my assignments the only reason you're here?"
"No, I... wanted to talk about something." His voice was reluctant, as if he were admitting to a crime.
I knew what he wanted to speak about, yet I asked anyway. "About what?"
"Before that, I need to apologize."
My hands tightened, and the papers I grasped wrinkled. The beating in my chest became annoyingly noticeable.
"Apologize?" I attempted to keep my voice as steady as possible, though my breaths were becoming more and more erratic.
"For everything. The Service Club ending, the codependency, it's entirely my fault, and it has been since the beginning."
I was hit with an unsettling feeling of déjà vu.
His words were eerily similar to those he spoke in the past.
His apology was eerily similar to his actions in the past.
Taking the blame for everything, becoming a scapegoat, ignoring the faults of others and the efforts of those who sought to help him.
Ignoring the reasoning for the disbandment of the Service Club.
"You… You haven't changed."
The stool squeaked behind me, though no reply came.
I steeled my voice. "I can't accept your apology. Not now, not in the future. Never."
My back was still turned to him. I was a coward, unable to look at his face then, and unable to now.
Please, take back your words.
The floor creaked, as if a weight was being released. Unsteady footsteps rang in my ears until it was cut off by the clicking of a door, and the presence of another person in the room disappeared.
I'm okay with this.
Yet my hands reach toward an unopened gift.
"You... You haven't changed."
Those words pierced me and my already fragile conviction, making me flinch.
Yukinoshita never lies, but she doesn't tell the entire truth either.
I questioned my true motives.
Why was I here?
Did I want her to rely on me again?
Did I want to preserve this vagueness?
Do I want this to continue?
Do I truly want to define this?
Her back was still turned to me, unable to match her words to a face.
"I can't accept your apology. Not now, not in the future. Never."
Utmost rejection.
Repressed memories flooded my mind. Asking for companionship with desperation only to be shot down with the ice cold eyes of my classmates.
Days of being taunted and mocked behind my back by those who I had considered friends.
People who stood by with their backs turned.
My head spun, and it seemed as if everything in the room became brighter and hazy. I blinked my eyes rapidly.
If she hadn't uttered those words, then I might've found the will to continue on with my objective even with the rejection of my apology.
But I couldn't find it, and so, I couldn't stay.
