And we're back. I've been a busy lil bee so sorry about the wait.

Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. I wanted to give a special thanks to the lovely ladies at The Lazy yet Discerning Ficster blog who posted a recommendation for Wilting written by the talented Dollegirl. Y'all are too sweet. Probably slightly delusional for choosing me, but still very sweet. If you're looking for some new story recommendations or really funny/insightful articles, go check out their site. A link is on my profile.

Birdee, as always, you rock the cradle of love.

Music: Nirvana- All Apologies, MCR- I Don't Love You, Academy Is- Down and Out

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Chapter 10- Pieces

When after all this time that you still owe

You're still a good-for-nothing I don't know

So take your gloves and get out

Better get out while you can

-I Don't Love You by MCR

To say I slept well would be an understment. If Maggie hadn't jumped on my bed at 8:45. I could have given Rip Van Winkle a run for his money in a sleep-off.

Bring it, old man.

"Wake up, sleepy head. Mom cooked waffles. They're probably cold by now since you slept for a zillion years." She rolled her eyes and looked incredibly put out by the fact that I wasn't there to witness the great waffle birth.

I groaned as the covers bounced on the top of my head with her every jump. I cleared my throat so it wouldn't be scratchy when I finally spoke. "Well, it sounds like the role of Grumpy is already occupied, so I'll play Sleepy and you come back when the clock hits double digits."

"Come oooon," she whined as she yanked at my wrist, not moving my body an inch. For the first time in my life, I was happy that I actually outweighed someone by fifty pounds. "We have to be at the zoo by ten if we want to see them feed the fish."

I blew all the hair out of my face and slid the covers below my eyes. Maggie's eyes were wide with excitement while her smile revealed more gaps from missing teeth. "You aren't going to school today?" She shook her head no. "Oh, ok, then I'm up. Give me twenty minutes and then I will meet you in the kitchen."

She continued to bounce her way off the bed and down the hall. I let myself count to five in preparation of the cold wood floor I knew was waiting below me. I scurried to the bathroom and quickly ran through my morning routine. It took me a little more time than normal since I had to rummage through an overnight bag for my supplies, but I still had two minutes to spare by the time I was walking out of the room.

I checked my phone as I made my way to the kitchen. No missed calls.

Well that makes the routine feel more normal.

Maybe that's my hint that I should consider reducing the minutes on my phone plan. Maybe I should just buy my friends a box of flares that they could send off when they need me; that way I could cancel my plan altogether.

In the small kitchen, Susanna was running a wet rag along the edges of a light blue waffle maker. Maggie, who was still bouncing, just in her seat now, was pouring an entire bottle of maple syrup over two waffles.

"Morning," I said rather lightly so that I wouldn't startle anyone. The other stool was empty so I slid in next to Maggie while she pushed the plate in front of me and smiled.

"I put the syrup and everything on it for you." You would have thought she had just climbed Everest by the look of pride on her face. Though, those bottles can be heavy, and she did make sure that every dent in my waffle was filled with Aunt Jemima's finest. "You're welcome," she added with a smirk when I went to lift my fork.

"Thank you. Both of you." I looked at Susanna who had her back turned to us. "It looks great."

I was half way through my breakfast and Susanna was wiping off the counter for the fourth time when she spoke. "I apologize for not being able to really talk last night. I expected you to arrive earlier and was swamped in house work when you finally did get here."

I could see the muscle of her shoulder tense as the scrubbed the granite slab harder. "No biggie. I knew everyone was busy. I didn't want to put anyone out. I just know how busy dad gets so I thought it might be easier to come to him."

She tossed the rag in the sink and pulled the yellow glove off of her hand finger by finger. I walked around her and lifted the handle on the shiny silver faucet. Turning the water to as hot as it would go, I washed away all the sticky syrup and left over pieces of breakfast from plate down the drain. I felt bad for messing up things again. I dirtied up her husband, and now I'm dirtying up her newly cleaned sink.

I helped my plate find its rightful home in the dishwasher before working my way around the island to grab the sea foam green mug I was drinking from. There was enough coffee in the pot for two more cups, so I asked Susanna if she would like some.

"No. Maggie woke me up at five because she was so excited about today she couldn't sleep. I probably drank half a pot before six. I was going to pour what was left out seeing that you slept until almost nine and probably wouldn't need coffee, but I guess you were so busy doing whatever made you late last night that you were incredibly worn out."

I turned and looked at Maggie, who just shrugged her shoulders and continued to look for the ironing board that was hidden in the picture in her Highlights magazine. I shrugged back, filled my cup with the lukewarm brew, and stood behind Maggie, helping her with her search.

After staring at the page for ten minutes I was starting to feel cross eyed and slightly dumb. because let's face it, I just had to a lie to five year old and tell her that I totally saw the sword disguised as a tree branch in the Fun Finder.

"Alright Maggie the Magnificent, lets go throw some shoes on so we can skedaddle."

She dog eared the corner of the page before hopping off the chair and skipping towards the hall. When we reached the opening, she put her arm out to stop me. "Look what Dad showed me." She reared back and took off as fast as she could down the slender walkway. About halfway to her room she let herself slid, Risky Business-style, to her door.

"Tom would be proud," I said as I helped tie her pink light-up Sketchers.

"Who's Tom?"

I finished with her right and started on the left. "Tom Cruise. Short. Kind of weird. Has a personal grudge against Ritalin."

She cocked her head. "What's Ritalin?"

"Never mind." I swooped her up off of the bed and swung her around twice before putting her down by the door. "To the zoo?"

"To the zoo," she repeated with a nod and grabbed my hand.

Susanna was already in the car with the engine running when we walked outside. As we approached, I could hear Cat Stevens singing his caution of the crazy place we live in and Susanna yammering away on her cell phone. Maggie was buckled, and I could feel the wind from the open window blowing stands of hair in my face before the song ended.

I watched as the buildings faded together until we reached the outskirts of town. The trees replaced the uniform brick houses while birds filled the sky like busy sidewalks. A large arched metal sign decorated in giraffes and elephants hung over the gravel entrance. Maggie's grin grew along-side Susanna's low growl of annoyance that she couldn't find a parking spot. Oh, the zoo. Brings out a little animal in us all.

Lion and Tigers and Stepmoms…Oh my!

As we approached the ticket counter a grey haired man pushing a zoo issued stroller that looked like a safari jeep began to walk towards us.

"Susanna?" He was craning his neck and squinting one eye trying to get a better look at us. "Susanna Swan?"

Susanna plastered on an instant smile, grabbed Maggie's hand, and led her in the direction of the man. I followed closely behind, trying not to get lost in the crowd of kids carrying brown paper bag lunches and rubber snakes.

"Douglas, how are you?"

"Good, good. Eleanor and I had our grandson for the day, so we thought we would spend the morning out." I looked down at the small pale boy poking his finger in the mouth of a plastic alligator. He glanced back at me and stuck out his tongue before going back to probing his swampy friend.

"Where is Eleanor? I had been hoping to run into her at the council meeting last week." Susanna's voice sounded strained, like she was forcing herself to relax.

"She's in the concession line buying a snow cone for Brent. I was just heading out to the car to wait for her." He turned to face me and stuck out his hand. "Hello, I'm Douglas Price.

I shook his hand but before I could say anything Susanna cut me off. "How rude am I. Douglas this is Isabella. Isabella, this is Douglas Price. He is one of California's finest."

"Newly retired California's finest," he said. "So, how do you know Charlie and Susanna?"

"Oh, um, I'm Charlie's daughter."

"From his first marriage," Susanna added.

Douglas squinted his eye at me again like he was concentrating on trying to remember something. Guess it wasn't to take his Ginkgo biloba this morning. "Hmm, I'm sorry. I don't think, uh, I don't think Charlie ever told me had another daughter."

Of course he didn't.

"Do you live around here, Isabella?"

"Not far. Just a few hours away," I replied while watching Maggie attack Brent's nose with the gator.

"Well that must be why. It has to be hard for him to talk about you-"

Like you wouldn't believe, I thought.

"-because he misses you so much," he finished.

Ohhh, swing and a miss. Thanks for participating in our game, and don't worry, no contestant goes home empty handed. You won your very own copy of, Chicken Soup for the Apparently I'm Parentless Soul. Play again next week and you could go home with, Shoot Me Now for Dummies.

"Probably," I muttered.

At that moment, Brent unleashed a blood curdling scream and start rubbing his face. I saw Maggie drop the reptile instantly before slowly backing away.

"Well, I guess I should get going. It sounds like its n-a-p time," he said, spelling out the word. "It was good to see you. Please tell Charlie I said hi. Isabella," he shook my hand again, "it was a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise."

He smiled and shuffled off to the parking lot. A few minutes later we passed Eleanor on the way to the train but she was unable to stop and chat due the balancing act she was performing. Wobbling in her arms were two snow cones, one blood red and one an off-white, a frozen lemonade, and two churros. That would have been a lot for me to handle, let alone a 5'1 woman in her sixties.

I bet she does Tae Bo. That Billy Blanks is a Godsend.

We maneuvered through another crowd of sugar-enhanced children and sweaty teachers mumbling the names of the holy family under their breaths. I did the sign of the cross and offered a silent prayer to the patron saint of pregnancy tests that none these kiddos would mistake my car for the day care bus.

The zoo was everything I imagined it could be. A monkey peeing in his water bowl, a bunch of slimy giant fish jumping out of the water and onto each others backs trying to devour food pellets like they won't be thrown to them tomorrow from 9 a.m to 9 p.m, and the worlds largest rat that I thought was on exhibit until it ran under the fence that caged the ostrich and in front of my feet. But Maggie had fun, and that was all that mattered.

On the car ride home she fell asleep, and Susanna and I fell into an awkward silence. I wanted to ask her about my dad, how his job was going and if he was taking off more time, because I knew this wasn't the type of conversation he would have with me, but I was starting to think that maybe this wasn't the type of conversation Susanna would have with me either. So, I hummed and played thumb war against myself and counted the number of Starbucks we passed until I could feel my eyelids begin to get heavy as well.

After what seemed like seconds later, I jerked up in my seat when I heard a loud slam. We were back at the house and Susanna was back on her phone. She was leaning over Maggie and pushing her shoulders gently back and forth in hopes of waking her up.

I hoped out of the car and motioned for her to go inside and that I would take care of Maggie. Susanna padded of towards the front door while I scooped Maggie up, resting her head by neck and wrapping her legs around my waist.

I slowly walked her inside and into her room, pulling back the covers to lay her underneath. When I was slipping her shoes off, her eyes started to flutter open.

"Shh. Go back to sleep. I think everyone could use a happy nappy," I said, running my hand through her hair. "Do you need anything? Your blanket or stuffed animal?"

"Mr. Bippo. I think he's on the floor in the corner," she yawned.

I rotated around on my heels and noticed a light grey hippo sporting a top hat and vest by the closet door. As I bent down to retrieve him I noticed the Super Dad teddy bear I gave her last night sitting atop a mismatch of abandoned toys in a large blue tub stuffed in the closet.

While tucking Mr. Bippo into the covers just like his owner, I told Maggie that I was glad she found a place for Super Dad bear.

"Mom put him there," she whispered. "Said he needed to be some place safe like my collector Barbies."

"She's probably right." I sighed and looked down for her to nod in agreement, but her eyes were tightly closed and she breathed a steady beat.

When I walked around to the back of the house, Susanna was sitting in a large wooden rocking chair in her sunroom. A calm breeze wafted through the screen door while the continual creak of her chair distracted from the buzz of a misguided bee.

I knocked lightly on the edge of the door so she knew was there. "I just put Maggie down."

"Ok," she said, barely looking up from her book.

"When I was, uh, in her room, I saw that you had put away the bear I got her-"

She started to talk before I could say anything more. "Oh yes. I knew it was important to you so I figured it would be best put away for safe keepings.

"Well, thank you, but you really don't need to do that. I mean, I gave it to her knowing she would play with it. It was important to me when I was growing up, but I was hoping that maybe it might become important to her as well."

She placed her book down in her lap and folded her arms across is the binding. "I just don't want things to get anymore," she took a deep breath, "complicated".

"I'm sorry, I don't think I understand."

"I just don't think having gifts from Charlie's ex-wife floating around the house would be the most suitable situation."

"But its not a gift from Renee," I said emphasizing her name, "it's a gift from me."

"But it's a reminder."

"Of my dad," I added.

"Of his ex-wife," she said while lifting the book back to her face.

"Renee," I murmured as I turned around and walked through the arch door way back into the main part of the house and down the hall to Maggie's room. She was still sleeping with covers pulled securely up to her neck and her face almost touching the wall.

Being as quiet as possible, I tip toed across the room and retrieved the small bear from the closet and placed it on the shelf above her night stand. Should I have listened to Susanna and left the doll in the box? Probably. Do I regret taking it out anyways? Not at all. If I wanted it to collect dust, I would have just left it at my house. It would be one thing if Maggie didn't want it, but Susanna had no right to decide for her.

I made my way back the guest bedroom and fell back on the bed. I was physically and emotionally drained. I pulled my iPod out of my bag and selected an artist I knew would calm my nerves. As my eyelids started to get heavy, I let my head fall back and my body fall into a deep sleep.

I didn't know if those little Serta sheep were visiting me in my sleep or if I was so out of shape that walking around a zoo for three hours conked me out, but I was having another one of those deep sleeps where I thought nothing could wake me. That was until I heard a loud bang.

I sat up quickly in the bed, slightly disoriented and partially still dreaming. I thought maybe I had just dreamed the noise until I heard it again. It wasn't the bang of a gun or the bang of someone falling down and hurting themselves. It was a distinct noise. Metal on metal like pots and pants colliding. Or being bashed together.

Susanna.

I listened closely to see if maybe I could figure out what was going on, but all the voices were muffled. The only difference was one was soprano and one was bass. Guess Dad was home.

I didn't want to get in the middle of anything, so I crept into the bathroom to shower off the smell of barn animals and give them a chance to work through their business with out the ex-daughter getting in the way.

The shower was long and hot and perfect for a defunk. I threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before running the blow dryer over my hair for a quick fix. The room had become a mess so I made the bed, put all my clothes back into a pile in my luggage, and threw the pill bottle from the night stand on top. When I thought the coast was clear, I finally left the room and made my way to the living room.

Dad, still in uniform, was leaning against the doorframe with his back to me while Susanna was hunched over the couch fluffing a pillow and speaking in a hushed tone. I stopped, took a few steps towards the wall, and listened.

"This is my house and my family too, Charlie. We have a child to consider."

Charlie sighed and ran his hand back and forth over his forehead. "Don't you think I know that? Don't you think you and Maggie are the most important things in my life?"

"So, do you think it's healthy to have something paraded around this house that belonged to your ex-wife-"

I cut her off. "Renee," I said through clinched teeth.

Dad turned around to face me, and Susanna lifted her head in my direction and spoke. "Excuse me?"

"She was a mother and a wife and a daughter and she had a name. Her name was Renee."

"Bella, if you don't mind, your father and I were having a conversation about nothing that concerns you."

I stood straight and crossed my arms over my chest. "This has everything to do with me."

"Bella," Dad started before I interrupted again.

"No. I'm part of this conversation."

"You're acting like a child," Susanna stated. "Worse. You're acting like your mother. Selfish and stubborn."

She didn't say anything I never thought before, but listening to her admit it out loud made me furious. How dare she say that about her? She didn't even know her. Judge me, that's fine. I'm here. I can defend myself. My mom can't.

"I think you're jealous. Jealous of the fact that my dad loved," I stopped and corrected my self "loves another woman."

My dad looked at Susanna but before he could say anything she started again. "I don't care who your father loved or loves, what you're missing is that apparently she didn't love him.

"No, you're wrong. I was there. I saw it." I could see the sadness in my dad's eyes while the dark shadow underneath them defined this lines from aging. I didn't want to talk to Susanna about it anymore. She didn't get it. So I turned to Dad. He understood. "Don't you remember how she used to make your favorite dinner every Wednesday night because that was your toughest day. It usually turned out horrible so instead we would go to Angelo's Pizza. I think she purposely burnt a few lasagnas just so we would have an excuse to go."

I watched as he glanced away from me and reached for Susanna's hand.

"What about your wedding anniversary? Every year you and I would come up with a new way for you to propose to her all over again since you didn't like the way you did it the first time. We would go to that store with the machine that sold the twenty-five-cent rings. My favorite was the year we tied it to her fishing line but it got stuck on those weeds so you had to wade through the water and get it out. It made the ring permanently green, but she still wore it everyday."

Dad was starring down at the floor now. Susanna's eyes were closed, and she was shaking her head side to side. I should have stopped there. I should have just walked out of the room. I should have gone to find Maggie because I knew she enjoyed my company. But I didn't. I was angry and hurt, and I was in the mood to make others feel the same way.

"So what did you two do for your last wedding anniversary? Dinner? Movie?" I continued.

"Stop it," Dad barked.

So I did.

"You will not come into my house and treat my wife like this."

"But she-,"

"Mom?" Maggie squeaked from the kitchen archway rubbing her face and holding the plaid bear under her arm.

"Maggie, go to your room," Susanna snapped.

Maggie took a step over to me. "Why? Is Bella in trouble? I heard Daddy yelling."

"I'm fine, love bug." I said. "Go get your Barbies ready in your room and I'll come meet you in a minute."

"Mags, why don't you leave Bella's bear in here before you leave, too," Dad added.

"But it's not Bella's, its mine," she retorted.

Susanna walked over to her and put her hand on her shoulder. "You know we don't talk back to adults."

Maggie started to lift the bear to hand it to her mother. "Am I in trouble? Will I get it back?" I could see the tears start to puddle before she blinked a few times causing them to run down her cheek.

I exhaled loudly. "Just let her have the damn bear. It's not hurting anyone."

Susanna's head snapped in my direction. "You are not her mother."

"You know what? Maybe you're right. Maybe my mom was selfish, but so are you. You're letting your own petty insecurity destroy your family. She is going to grow up to resent you, can't you see that? The only reason Dad hasn't left-"

"That is enough, Isabella," Dad yelled, making everyone else in the room jump. "Susanna has done nothing but take in a broken man and try to make him whole again. Everything she does, she does for this family." He moved so that he was within inches of me. "I think its time for you to leave."

The tears in Maggie's eyes started to pour out fast. "No. Please don't make Bella leave. Here," she shoved the bear at Susanna "you can have the bear. Please, Daddy. I don't want her to go."

He looked down at her. "Great. Now I have another daughter who hates me." He gave a long sigh before walking out of the room.

I followed after him as he headed towards the guest room. He swung the door open and moved towards my bag on the floor. "Is this everything?" I nodded, and he reached for the luggage. I started to run my hands through my hair. I couldn't believe this. He wasn't going to kick me out. He wouldn't do that. I wouldn't let him.

I stood in front of the door, placing my hand on the frame. "I want to talk about this."

His voice was low and defeated. "I don't want to talk anymore. I'm tired of talking. I just want to be normal. Have a happy, healthy family."

"I can be happy," I whispered. "I can be healthy."

He reached atop the bag, grasping something in the palm of his hand. "This…this isn't healthy," he said shaking the pill bottle in my face. "I can't do unhealthy again. I won't let it ruin my family for the second time."

He pushed past me, shoving the bottle into my hand, and headed for the front door. Not even aware that my legs were moving, I was following him again. Down the hall. Out the front door. Along the driveway. To my car.

Some how he had my keys. I might have given them to him. He might have taken them from my purse. I wasn't sure, and it didn't really matter. He was putting my stuff in the car and I was leaving, whether I wanted to or not.

He closed the back door before opening the driver side as my hint to get in. He looked back at the front door of his house and I looked at him. I knew Maggie was there, and I couldn't look at her.

I wanted to apologize to everyone. I wanted to say that I was in therapy and that I was getting better. That I could be different. But I couldn't. I could lie to myself, but not to him.

I got into the car and then he moved so that he was standing between the open door and me. "I have to do this, if not for myself then my family. Maggie is too young to be around this. She is so innocent and impressionable. Susanna and I have worked too hard to give her a great life to let it crumble over this. I think it's best if you don't call Maggie anymore. We will tell her something so that she understands it's not you."

"What? You're just going to lie to her?" Maggie didn't deserve that. Like dad said, she was innocent.

"I refuse to screw this up again. I will do whatever it takes to protect my family."

I closed my eyes tightly, silently praying that I wouldn't cry. I took a calming breath and glanced at his face. His eyes were hard and cold and starring directly at me. "I thought…I thought I was your family too."

He looked back at the house. "Yes, you were my family," he said, before closing my door quietly and walked back to the house.

I didn't sit in a the driveway for long because if I was going to cry, this wasn't the place. I pulled out of the neighborhood and hit the highway. My mind was on repeat. Replaying the conversation over and over. Finally about ten minutes out of town, it slowly started to drizzle and I lost it. Tears rushed down my face while the silence of the car was filled with the sound of my hitched breath and random screams of frustration. Between the wetness of the windshield and the wetness of my tears, the road was becoming less visible.

I pulled over on the side and switched off the ignition. "Fuck," I yelled, banging my right hand repeatedly against the steering wheel. When I noticed that my hand didn't hurt from hitting it against the wheel, I saw that I was still clutching the bottle. I threw it as hard as possible against the dashboard, popping of the top, and scattering the pills throughout the front of my car. I ran through a long list of profanities before leaning my head back against the rest and trying to calm myself.

I need to talk to someone. I needed to get my mind off of things. I searched my purse for my phone and called the first name in my address book.

Five rings. Voicemail. No Alice.

I hit the "R" button next so that I could call Rosalie, but all I got was the same result as when I called Alice.

I thought about dialing Edward's number, but he would just want to discuss what happened and I didn't. Instead, I settled for the classic rock station, turned on full blast.

The ride seemed long, even though I made it home in half the time it took me to get there. I guessed that's what happens when you spend a few hours examining your life. I realized that Susanna and Dad were more right then I wanted to admit. I was being selfish. I was trying to claim something that wasn't mine. I knew a long time ago that Dad didn't want me around, and I kept pushing. Because I needed more. Because I felt like I needed someone to take care of me.

Selfish.

When I finally pulled up to the house, I drug everything from the car inside and grabbed my portable vacuum cleaner. I opened the passenger side door and started to suck away all my problems, one capsule at a time.

After finishing up, I headed back inside, kicking the front closed behind me, and placing the Dirt Devil back into the front closet. I walked through the kitchen and grabbed a different kind of bottle from the top the fridge before making my way to the living room. I sat Indian style on my loveseat, placed the vodka bottle in lap, and unscrewed the cap.

I took in a deep breath of air and felt peace immediately. It was the smell of release. The smell of acceptance. And all I could do was smile.

This was how she felt. To know that the only person left on this earth that you could hurt was yourself and that, that was refreshing.

I stole a swig straight from the bottle, skipping the shot glass or the touch of Coke. I knew this was bad, that this was self-destruction, but I didn't care. Because as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.

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See, I was going to make it relate to Twilight…just took me a little while.

Just in case your are interested, I recently wrote a one-shot for a series called Confessions of Sinner based on the Seven Deadly Sins with seven awesome ladies. My chapter is listed in my stories, but if you want to read them all there is a link on my profile AND I'm joining forces with another group of amazing authors for a story called The Path to Resistance. If you want to see who else is part of Team Epic come check out our page, also linked on my profile.