ON YOUR WINGS
chapter eleven: a special kind of torture
Larsa fought to keep his smile as it became increasingly obvious that Penelo was going to insist on Margarethe's accompanying them for every event that Larsa had scheduled for the week. That rather than spend quality time with Penelo, he would now be spending time with Penelo and Margarethe. It became increasingly clear, also, that Penelo seemed to believe that Margarethe and Larsa should be a couple and that Larsa harbored secret feelings for the girl that he was too proper or too shy to admit to.
He could see that Margarethe was having some trouble with Penelo's friendliness as well. The Dalmascan had accepted Margarethe without a second thought just the way she had Larsa years before. It was an uncommon kindness in Archades, to put it mildly.
When he heard Penelo retell her version of the day that they'd met it was all he could do not to relate how he had seen it. It was like something out of a fairy tale as Margarethe pointed out pensively later. Larsa had been expecting to find, if anything, a crying damsel in distress, frightened after having been kidnapped by bounty hunters. That was, after all, what Ba'Gamnan had said she would be doing.
Yet when he exited the mines, he saw her standing straight and not only was she not crying, she was arguing—with a Judge Magister and a Marquis, no less! Further, Larsa could detect no trace of tears on her face at all. She seemed, frustrated, worried, and quite a long way from home, but she had not given up.
She was beautiful as well, though Larsa had quite expected her to be, with golden hair and an angel's face. The feathers in her hair had only served to reinforce the image, and Larsa had quite wondered whether she might actually possess wings. He'd gathered her by the arm and taken her to Marquis Ondore's mansion and she was obviously quite relieved. He had felt heroic and confident as he used her name. She had seemed a bit surprised, but did not question it just then. Was content simply to walk with him.
He had to admit he had been a bit jealous when she ran so quickly to Vaan on the Leviathan but that had passed with time. Larsa had known he was young and he was not afraid to wait.
Though now the waiting seemed like it was going to be for naught as Penelo made plans to spend the rest of the day getting to know Lady Margarethe. Thankfully, Margarethe was already engaged for dinner and so Larsa had that small reprieve, but for the rest of it…
She had said seventeen and he had listened. He had never quite failed to get anything that he really wanted and he lived with the confidence that he would eventually get his way with everything, including the girl he'd decided was to be the object of his affection. But for her to go the whole way thinking that he was meant to be with someone else—it was something that he was not quite willing to allow.
"—explore Tsenoble," Penelo was saying. "I've only been there once and we didn't exactly stop to look around."
"If you wish," Lady Margarethe replied. "I know of many charming boutiques."
"I will send a Judge with the both of you as an escort," Larsa said doing his best to smile charmingly.
"Do we need an escort?" Penelo asked. "We'll have Miss Trish and… I'm sorry," Penelo turned to Margarethe's handmaiden. "I never got your name."
"Milly," the maid replied, curtsying.
"Miss Milly," Penelo said. "Besides it's Tsenoble how much trouble could we possibly run into?"
Penelo was no doubt mentally comparing the residents of Tsenoble to residents of certain other places, like Balfonheim perhaps. Her posture was confident and dismissive as though she had little to fear from a bunch of, what Vaan would surely have called, poncy stuffed shirt noblefolk.
"Lady Penelo, it is not a matter of the trouble that might befall you but rather of the trouble that you might cause without a responsible chaperone."
The Dalmascan girl's face was a perfect mask of innocence as she said, "Lord Larsa how impolite of you to imply that I am a troublemaker!" She grinned then and said, "Besides, don't you think Lady Margarethe is a responsible enough chaperone?"
"I would be quite impressed if Lady Margarethe had the fortitude to restrain you," Larsa joked. "For I certainly never have."
"I cannot imagine that Lady Penelo could ever cause so much trouble as to require restraint," Margarethe said, kindly.
"Thank you," Penelo said, with a grateful nod in Margarethe's direction. "See," she said, turning on Larsa with the same wide eyed angelic expression she'd used earlier. "Lady Margarethe has faith in me."
"Lady Margarethe has not known you so long as I have," Larsa said.
Penelo pouted. "Oh well," she said, shrugging at Margarethe. "I guess we'll just have to prove Lord Larsa wrong by behaving perfectly."
"I'm sure that should be no trouble," Margarethe replied with confidence.
Larsa did not seriously believe that Penelo would cause trouble. Between the pirates, she had always been the more responsible of the two and from what Larsa understood of their first trip to Tsenoble, they had not only failed to cause a commotion, but also acquired enough chops to trade for one of sandalwood in what he understood was a relatively short period of time.
He did think that Penelo easily underestimated the potential dangers of the city, though she would have never accepted a guard. He also thought it would behoove him to have a loyal ear to her conversations with Margarethe and so after tea, he had Bellamy notify the doorman that a Judge should be sent with them.
#
Before dinner, while Penelo was presumably getting ready, Larsa had a short meeting with the Judge that had gone with them. The man's name was apparently Cyrus and he was around Penelo's age and on the right track to someday becoming a Magister.
"She insisted that I not wear my helmet," Cyrus reported, "As she felt it was… I believe the word she used was 'weird,' Your Excellency."
Larsa nodded, "That is fine. Were there any notable occurrences?"
"A young boy had apparently snuck into Tsenoble from Old Archades and he was about to be jailed. He apparently claimed that he was only searching for his father. Lady Penelo stepped in and gave him a few chops, claiming that he was no longer trespassing and wanted to escort him back to Old Archades, but I told her that would be unwise."
"Incredibly," Larsa said. "What happened to the boy?"
"I assigned the Legionnaire who was about to arrest him to take him home under the orders of the Emperor's personal friends," Cyrus replied.
"That was very good of you," Larsa nodded. "Anything else?"
"Nothing of note," Cyrus shrugged. "Lady Penelo seemed quite excited to discover ice cream. She had apparently never had it before and on trying it insisted that the handmaidens and I partake as well."
"Did she have a favorite flavor?" Larsa asked.
"Strawberry, I believe, Your Excellency."
After the meeting, Larsa made up his mind to increase Judge Cyrus's salary. He had after all done a good service with patience for the task; however insignificant it may have seemed.
#
When he met Penelo for dinner, she elbowed him in the arm and said, "Larsa, I can't believe you never told me you had such a pretty friend!"
"Are you interested in her?" Larsa asked raising an eyebrow and knowing that he would get a rise out of Penelo. "Because if so I regret to inform you that I believe Lady Margarethe prefers gentlemen."
Penelo put her hands on her hips and pouted at him. Larsa tried to ignore the way that the dress he'd given her flattered her curves. Tried to focus his attention on his face. "You know what I mean," Penelo said. "She's a great girl."
"Lady Margarethe is quite charming," Larsa said, avoiding the topic. "And very polite."
"Larsa," Penelo said, exasperated. "She likes you, you know."
There it was. Larsa kept his expression a perfect blank as he said, "Lady Margarethe and I are just friends, Penelo."
Penelo narrowed her eyes suspiciously as she said, "She is a beautiful girl, you know."
"You are a beautiful girl," he said, hoping that she would catch the earnestness in his voice.
Instead she rolled her eyes at him, ignoring the compliment entirely. "You're just trying to avoid the issue," she announced. "Although I don't understand why you would be shy about it."
"There is truly nothing to be shy over," Larsa insisted.
"All right, all right," Penelo replied, raising her fork in surrender. "I'll drop it for now, but one of these days you'll have to admit your true feelings."
Larsa could not help but chuckle at the irony of the situation.
"I mean it," Penelo said. "In your letters you're always writing about work. That's no way for a teenager to live."
"Perhaps you should visit more often, then," Larsa replied. "So that I may spend more time in the company of friends."
For a moment Penelo looked guilty. "I—I guess so," she said. She was quiet for a minute, looking down at her food. "Larsa, about what happened… when we stopped writing…"
"It was unpleasant," Larsa said, cutting her off. The death of the Red Lady had done little to allay his suspicions and it was a thing that he preferred, as Basch had advised him, not to think too deeply on. "Let us never repeat the experience."
From Penelo's curious smile it seemed that she was wondering whether he knew or did not know something. She didn't ask though, instead said, with conviction, "Yes, let's not."
"How was Tsenoble?" he asked, and listened patiently as she related all that Cyrus had told him, though with a few more details—mostly about how much she enjoyed Lady Margarethe's company.
"So it was a good thing that Judge Cyrus accompanied you," Larsa said. "Otherwise you would have gone running off into Old Archades."
"I guess so," Penelo said. "I didn't think it was such a big deal, but I guess it's 'not safe for ladies of stature.' I would have had to leave Lady Margarethe in Tsenoble or…"
"Old Archades is not exactly safe for any lady traveling on her own," Larsa replied.
"I'm not exactly helpless," Penelo said. "Although I guess you're right. If there was a group of people or something…" she trailed off. "Still though, we couldn't have let a small child run back on his own."
"I suppose you could not," Larsa said.
"I guess you were running around on your own when you were very young, though," Penelo said.
Larsa smiled, "Bhujerba is hardly as dangerous as Old Archades."
"But you went into the mines with a group of complete strangers," Penelo said. "Don't you think that was a bit dangerous?"
Larsa shrugged. "In truth, Balthier had the accent of an Archades noble and Vaan appeared trustworthy enough. You cannot say that I did not choose well when I asked them to be my escort."
"I guess not," Penelo said, "You couldn't have chosen more perfectly. How was your day, anyway?" Penelo asked, switching subjects. "I didn't get to ask."
"Filled with boring meetings," Larsa said, "Nothing you'll want to hear I'm sure."
"It's funny," Penelo said, "You always write me about them, but now that I'm here in person you don't want to say anything."
"I suppose in a letter I do not have to worry about boring you with my conversation," Larsa said. "It is… different in person."
"You don't have to worry about boring me," Penelo assured him. "Nothing's different just because I'm here."
"Of course you're right," Larsa said. "I was talking about taxes all day. Gabranth and I have reason to believe that several governors are collecting more in taxes than they should be and keeping the excess for themselves. If this suspicion bears out we will of course have to replace those governors."
"That's terrible," Penelo shook her head. "Why would they do that?"
"Because they are greedy old men who unfortunately do not fear me so much as they did my brother," Larsa said. "I am ashamed to say that there are times when I understand all too well why Vayne pursued the course that he did."
"I can't imagine it's easy," Penelo said. "And you said the Senate makes everything hard for you, right? It must be frustrating, but… I know that you would never actually do what Vayne did."
"Of course not," Larsa nodded. "There are always other ways. They may be more difficult, but they are certainly worth pursuing."
"That's what makes you a better emperor," Penelo said. "Is that the special thing that Gabranth is doing?"
"They're auditing the regional governors," Larsa said, "He is currently installing the accountants and Judges with them to oversee the audit."
"That sounds like a good idea," Penelo said. "But how will you make sure they don't do it again in the future? I mean if they are."
"We will have to do better surveys in the cities," Larsa replied. "We have relied far too much on the governors' reports so far."
"Archadia is really big, isn't it?" Penelo said. "I always forget. Since we only come here and to Balfonheim."
"It is the largest Empire on the continent," Larsa replied.
"Maybe you should spend more time visiting around it instead of just being in Archades the whole time," Penelo said.
"Perhaps," Larsa said. "I suppose that it could not hurt. It might do good to show the people in the other cities that we do still consider them."
"And get you out of the city," Penelo said, shaking her fork at him. "You could always take Lady Margarethe too She was telling me that she's really never left Archades…"
Larsa sighed. "Penelo…"
#
It had been decided that because with the three of them going, either Penelo or Margarethe would have to go without an escort, that Trish would accompany Penelo. Trish had been hesitant at first, but Penelo was impossible to argue with and so one of the dresses that Larsa had had made for her was altered so that it could fit Trish. Larsa had asked if they needed additional maids sent up to help them dress, but both Penelo and Trish had declined.
"Miss Penelo," Trish said, "This is quite too much."
"Well you don't want me to have to walk on my own do you?" Penelo asked as she zipped up the back of Trish's dress. "Besides I don't really know anybody else here and I want Larsa to be able to walk with Lady Margarethe."
Trish spun to look at Penelo, frowning slightly. "Oh, but I'd thought…"
"Huh?" Penelo asked, tilting her head at the other girl as she fit small ruby earrings with dangling yellow feathers into her ears. Trish had convinced her to put her hair up in an Archadian style with braids going along the sides of her head and the rest of her hair pinned into broad curls at the back of her head. Tendrils of hair framed Penelo's face and she looked genuinely curious.
"Oh," Trish said, shaking her head. "Nevermind, Miss," she said.
Penelo had none of Trish's talent for doing hair, but Trish had luckily been able to fashion herself an attractive bun and she checked in the mirror. The dress she wore was pale green and white with pink flowers embroidered all around it. Penelo's dress was yellow and white with red trim.
"We look like a spring day in the desert," Penelo said, winding her arm through Trish's. "Have you ever been to the ballet?"
"A few times," Trish said, "Though never from the Emperor's box of course."
"You'll have to tell me what's going on then," Penelo said. "It'll be completely new to me."
"I have heard that the dance speaks for itself," Trish said.
"I'll bet."
#
The whole ride to the ballet, Larsa was trying to figure out how it had happened that one of the maids of his household was escorting his friend to the event rather than him. He had tried to say earlier that perhaps Judge Magister Zargabaath or even Judge Cyrus could escort Margarethe, but Penelo had been adamant about Trish going with her. "The Judges probably have other work to do, right?" Penelo had said.
They did.
And so there Larsa was, walking ahead of Penelo and Trish and behind his guard to the royal box. When they took their seats, Larsa found himself on the far left with Margarethe to his right, Penelo to her right, and Trish at the other end. So for the duration of the ballet, he saw her only out of the corner of his eye. He got to see Margarethe bend an ear to carry on a whispered conversation with Penelo whenever the curtains closed, but he wasn't privy to any of what was said.
It was far from the way that he had imagined the night going. He had thought Penelo would be impressed with the ballet and would have questions and comments, of course. But he had believed that she would be whispering them into his ear and not into her handmaiden's or Margarethe's.
It was a little maddening to know that he'd finally gotten her to come for a visit alone and that he now had to share her attention with a girl he had not even planned on being too close to.
After the show they moved to the salon, but preserved their seating arrangement so that Larsa was once again a person off from the one he truly wanted to speak to. The table they sat at was round, though, so he at least sat across from her.
"Did you enjoy the show, Lady Penelo?" Larsa asked even though he had to lean a bit forward to do so.
"It was great!" she said, "Didn't you think so Margarethe?"
Margarethe nodded. "I do always enjoy such events. Although I didn't find the ballet quite as exciting as the opera Lord Larsa and I last attended."
"Was it about chocobos, like this one?"
Larsa knew what was coming and watched for Penelo's reaction.
"You likely would not think it so interesting as I did," Margarethe said, blushing a little. "It was about sky pirates, but of course you must be familiar."
Because he had been paying attention, he didn't miss the way that her face fell for just a moment before she recovered. "Oh I don't really know anything that much about pirates," she said a bit too quickly. Larsa almost had to wonder if all Dalmascans were poor liars. "I'm sure I would've thought it was just as interesting..."
"It was a love story," Margarethe gushed again, "about a lady pirate all in red, torn between her partner and her mentor."
Penelo shifted at that, struggling to smile encouragingly at Margarethe even though talk about the opera made her uncomfortable. The suspicions that Larsa had fostered over the time they'd been apart fell into line and he wondered whether it would be wise to ask her about it directly. Did he have to know for sure? Would it be better for their friendship if he did not quite? He was a little curious about whether she would try to lie to him as Ashe had.
He could not help but wonder too at whether her reaction was merely to the piracy or whether it stretched to the plot of the work as well. The love triangle. He never liked to think about it.
"That sounds so romantic," Penelo said, "I'll definitely have to see it the next time it comes on." She nodded a little too vigorously and then changed topics with some pace, "Hey, did you know that Miss Trish used to dance ballet?" Penelo asked excitedly.
Trish blushed. "Only for a little, when I was a very young girl," she said.
"She's promised to show me some of the steps," Penelo gushed.
"O-only if Lord Larsa does not mind," Trish said, looking a little nervous.
"Your duty for the week is to attend to Lady Penelo," Lord Larsa said, "I am sorry to say that means you are entirely at her mercy."
"Will we need music I wonder?" Penelo asked.
"I can play the piano a little," Lady Margarethe said. "If Lord Larsa will not mind sparing one."
"Not at all," Larsa found himself saying. Though it gave him the vague impression that he was losing control of his household to do so.
Margarethe said that she was occupied with lessons the following day, and so a date was settled on later in the week for the three of them to gather in the ballroom, which they had decided was probably the best room for dancing.
#
Larsa found that he was quite relieved when they finally dropped Margarethe at her home and also quite happy that he managed to convince Penelo to take a walk with him in the garden to see the spring flowers.
They walked arm in arm through the garden in relative quiet.
"It's much warmer in the spring," Penelo said, stopping to admire a few daisies.
"It is," Larsa said, "Though it's still cold in the cities farther north."
"You know, as much flying around as I do I've never been up there," Penelo said. "Is it really like the Paramina Rift?"
"It snows quite often," Larsa said. "In certain places. But I have heard that their summers are temperate and beautiful."
"So you haven't been either?" Penelo asked, poking him in the arm.
"I have, just not in all seasons," Larsa smiled.
"You should make a point to go for summer," Penelo said. "Like we were talking about before… I'm sure Lady Margarethe would love to see the North Country."
Larsa's smile disappeared. "I do not know why I should have to say it so many times," he said, "but I quite assure you that Lady Margarethe is only a friend."
"Even so," Penelo said, breaking away from to go and sit on a bench nearby. "You went traveling with me and Vaan and we were just friends."
"Those were… slightly different circumstances," Larsa said, taking a seat next to her.
"Well, yeah," Penelo said. She bit the left side of her bottom lip, took his hands into hers and then said, "But Larsa, I never hear you talk about girls at all and at your age… Well I mean if not Lady Margarethe, there must be somebody right?"
He inhaled deeply and then moved a gloved hand to her cheek. She stiffened at his touch and then relaxed, putting one of her hands to his wrist and tilting her head at him. "Is it maybe one of the maids or somebody you don't want to say?" she asked.
He squeezed the hand that she still held. "Penelo…"
He saw her eyes widen and he thought that for a moment that perhaps she understood. But she pulled back from him giggling instead. "Larsa, you're so serious," she said as she put her hands up in surrender. "All right, I won't ask anymore. I promise."
"What about you?" Larsa asked, straightening and trying to keep a humored smile on his face. "Since you seem so sure that I must be pining?"
Her face darkened and she looked away and Larsa immediately felt a fool for asking. Of course, he thought, remembering the casual way Vaan had played with her hair as he was leaving. The longing look she'd given him as he disappeared into their airship.
The jealousy he felt was like a stab. He knew. He'd always known, but mostly he had been wise enough not to think about it too much.
Now Penelo was stammering, "Well, you know how it is, I move around so much and—"
"Vaan?" he asked, finding that he was in fact just a little angry with her though he knew he had no real cause to be.
She looked relieved at his guess. "Sort of," she said. "I mean it's complicated. We want really different things, you know?"
"Oh?"
"I mean I never thought that the way we live now was going to be a real life. It's fine now, but I just can't imagine flying around the same way when I'm thirty or forty or…" she bit her lip and shook her head. "This is probably boring you," she said smiling at him. "You don't need to hear about my personal problems."
"You don't have to worry about boring me," he said, echoing perfectly what she'd said during dinner.
"It's just… it's hard," she tried to explain. "To think about being without him. I mean we own the ship together and we have so many memories in Rabanastre… I just—I don't know where else I would go."
"Well, you will always have a room in Archades if ever you have need of it," Larsa said.
Penelo looked at him then, eyebrows scrunching just slightly. "Thank you, Larsa," she said. "That's very kind of you to say."
"It is the least I could do for a friend."
#
Something about the day's events nagged at Penelo, though she couldn't quite figure out what. As she slid into bed and Trish closed the curtains around her, she had to ask one question that had been pressing at her.
"Miss Trish, earlier—when you said 'oh, but I thought…'—what were you going to say after that?"
"Oh, nothing, Miss," Trish replied. "My head was all in a jumble about going to the ballet with the Emperor. It was quite above my station, you know."
Penelo frowned at that answer. "I… If you say so."
"Goodnight, Miss."
"Goodnight, Miss Trish."
Penelo felt like the other girl was lying, but she didn't know what she would be lying about or why. And Larsa… was it just in her imagination or had he been acting a little strangely? The way that he'd touched her cheek… but no. They were just friends, of course. Perhaps friends that needed better defined boundaries as he got older, but friends nonetheless. She guessed it was probably just the strangeness of being in Archades in general that was bothering her.
Except as she closed her eyes she realized that Archades wasn't actually bothering her as much as she'd thought it had been. That what was strange was that even though her surroundings were at odds with her, she felt lighter, more at ease than she had in over a year. Perhaps it was the new friends she'd made, or the fact that she had a semi-permanent bed to sleep in, no matter that it was much too large for her. It was a thought that worried her, though she didn't quite know why.
It had only really been a day and a half and she already wished that she could see Vaan. Something about the city gave her the vague impression that her world was slowly being turned upside down.
CHAPTER TWELVE PREVIEW:
No rest for the wicked
NOTES: Still living life among the technologically challenged. . I feel like I could have done more with this chapter, but since my shiny new computer won't connect to the internet I'm stuck with the worst computer ever (freezes every five seconds, basically just sucks). Oh well. I'm pretty excited about the next chapter though!
THANK YOU!
Crow Skywalker: I only got through the start of FF6 too... :S FF12 is pretty fun though. That license board was like an addiction for me. I was all "must... fill... NEED LP!" Well, also I thought the story and characters were interesting but that's pretty apparent. :D Also I love your screenname because I am also a Star Wars fan :S!
always-kh: I hope this chapter was ok too! I kind of hate when the "other" chick is a bitch. It always seems so fake and, I dunno. Easy? I really like Margarethe and I'm glad you do too. I feel bad for her :/
Ariels Lament: Cruel is such a strong word.. although not totally inaccurate. I feel bad for everybody I'm writing, but I keep writing them that way anyway. Sigghhh.
Marta: I 3 Penelo too! Did I ever mention that your name reminds me of Dragon Quest VIII?
Zora Angel: I like their friendship too! I think they're going to be great friends. It just sucks that Margarethe likes Larsa, Larsa likes Penelo, and Penelo is oblivious :P Well, sucks for Margarethe and Larsa anyway lol.
